RL stuff of the not so fun variety
It is really hard being in a family where I am the sane one.
Geez, I was on the phone with my sister and my mom for the last hour listening to them ramble telling me how normal they are and how victimized they are.
Since they just ramble and ramble they'd keep saying to me, "Are you there?"
"Yes, I'm here."
How do you deal with that? It's just this never-ending thing. I dread answering the phone. My hubby had left town and was supposed to call when he got to the hotel around 9pm. When the phone rang at 10pm I answered the phone without checking the caller ID and it was my sister and my mom.
Our friend who was the best man in our wedding was just diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I couldn't get them off the phone, and then my husband's work phone rang it was him and I had to hang up on my sister and my mom. My husband had gotten to the hospital and saw his friend hooked up to all the tubes for the first time and he needed me.
Talking to the hubby on the phone he told me all about what he had seen and done through the day. He admits not handling hospital situations well. He has always had hospital and medical phobias, but he is being there for his friend and his friends wife.
I had to explain the situation with my family and he astutely said to me, "I know that you think because your sister and your mom are the way that you are that you are frightened to death that you are going to be just like them. Believe me when I tell you, you are nothing like them."
Then he cracked me up by saying to me, "Are you there?"
I started laughing kind of manically at that point, because it is exactly what my mom and my sister had kept saying to me when I was talking to them.
"Yes, I'm here."
I guess this whole post is just about me feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to handle things. I can't fix either my mom, or my sister. My sister was institutionalized several years ago and then just a few weeks ago she was taken to a mental health ward for observation. I don't know how to deal with her, I don't know how to talk to her, I am just at a loss. My whole life it has been me needing to have the answers and being the strong one, and honestly, I don't feel strong, not one damn bit.
I just feel scared and alone. I don't see the situation with my sister and my mom getting any better. I know that our friend won't get better either. At best he has 3 months to a year, at the very best. It may be far less than that too. I need to be strong for the hubby. He went through this with me when my dad was sick and passed away. He went through me losing my best friend, about five years ago, but the situation was different in that she went to sleep and just never woke up.
And of course, while life is happening all around me, I need to work so I can pay my bills.
Sorry that I haven't posted in ages and then all of a sudden I just spew forth a whole poor me saga. But typing it out and getting it out did help me a little.
Then before I could hit the 'post' button the phone rang again and I had to put my hands over my ears because I didn't want to hear the message that was being left.
Geez, I was on the phone with my sister and my mom for the last hour listening to them ramble telling me how normal they are and how victimized they are.
Since they just ramble and ramble they'd keep saying to me, "Are you there?"
"Yes, I'm here."
How do you deal with that? It's just this never-ending thing. I dread answering the phone. My hubby had left town and was supposed to call when he got to the hotel around 9pm. When the phone rang at 10pm I answered the phone without checking the caller ID and it was my sister and my mom.
Our friend who was the best man in our wedding was just diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. I couldn't get them off the phone, and then my husband's work phone rang it was him and I had to hang up on my sister and my mom. My husband had gotten to the hospital and saw his friend hooked up to all the tubes for the first time and he needed me.
Talking to the hubby on the phone he told me all about what he had seen and done through the day. He admits not handling hospital situations well. He has always had hospital and medical phobias, but he is being there for his friend and his friends wife.
I had to explain the situation with my family and he astutely said to me, "I know that you think because your sister and your mom are the way that you are that you are frightened to death that you are going to be just like them. Believe me when I tell you, you are nothing like them."
Then he cracked me up by saying to me, "Are you there?"
I started laughing kind of manically at that point, because it is exactly what my mom and my sister had kept saying to me when I was talking to them.
"Yes, I'm here."
I guess this whole post is just about me feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to handle things. I can't fix either my mom, or my sister. My sister was institutionalized several years ago and then just a few weeks ago she was taken to a mental health ward for observation. I don't know how to deal with her, I don't know how to talk to her, I am just at a loss. My whole life it has been me needing to have the answers and being the strong one, and honestly, I don't feel strong, not one damn bit.
I just feel scared and alone. I don't see the situation with my sister and my mom getting any better. I know that our friend won't get better either. At best he has 3 months to a year, at the very best. It may be far less than that too. I need to be strong for the hubby. He went through this with me when my dad was sick and passed away. He went through me losing my best friend, about five years ago, but the situation was different in that she went to sleep and just never woke up.
And of course, while life is happening all around me, I need to work so I can pay my bills.
Sorry that I haven't posted in ages and then all of a sudden I just spew forth a whole poor me saga. But typing it out and getting it out did help me a little.
Then before I could hit the 'post' button the phone rang again and I had to put my hands over my ears because I didn't want to hear the message that was being left.