You can replace cars. But you can't replace people.
I have never really spoken to my dad in my life.
I regret that.
Today alone, he has given me two pieces of advice that have rocked my world.
I was just in a car accident.
The blame on my side, is that i didn't stop at the stop sign.
The blame on her side (taxi), which is unbeknownst and not the business of the police, is that she was speeding.
My car is wrecked and i feel like crap. I know its only a material thing, but this year alone i have been an expence to my parents no one could ever imagine. I know we have a lot of money, but thats not the point. I dont want to be an expence.
When i walked in today from dropping Rachel home, my dad stopped me and asked "What's going on with you and Rachel?" and i told him I was just very confused about where i wanted to be as a person next year, whether in adelaide or in Tassy. (long story.) And my dad said "What's so confusing?" so i replied "I just, dont want to lose contact with my friends, some of them are going to adelaide and i guess the only thing stopping me from going to Tas is that I'm afraid ill lose contact with these people. They mean a lot to me" so then my dad, without pausing to think said:
"Yeah, i know what you mean, good friends are special, but easier to keep than relationships, which are so fragile. Your friends, if they are good friends, will always be your friends no matter what, and you can come back in 6 years and pick up right where you left off. Friends will always be friends. But a good relationship... is a little harder to find."
At that moment i realised how stupid i was for even considering adelaide for the sake of friendship that will never die. I know now what i have always suspected. I can't live without Rachel. I can live apart from my friends, and i will. But whether rach and i stay together forever or not, Im not going to throw it away. I am ashamed i even thought about it.
I guess its because im growing up... and i dont like it. I dont want to be an adult yet. I dont want to say goodbye to my friends yet... to my childhood.
But i have to.
I hate myself for what i put Rachel through last night. I am such a fool for even thinking like that. I do not just want to throw what we have away. God knows if i'll ever find it again.
The second thing dad said to me, after i got in the car having finished with the police briefing, is that "You can replace cars, so forget it. But you can't replace people."
oh, and "Shit happens, thats what we say. Not 'why me' just, 'Shit happens'"
"Because shit is bound to happen to you one day"
I hardly know what I'm worth at the moment. I'm considering selling off my rig and my gc to pay for all the crap i've expended my parents for this year.
To prevent me from doing this.... Raj i'm going to need a job down there ok. Make sure i get a good one.
I feel like an idiot.
was i born, destined to become this idiot.
i have made so many mistakes in the past few days. and i hate only myself. I dont want to be anyones burden ever again.
-S-
I regret that.
Today alone, he has given me two pieces of advice that have rocked my world.
I was just in a car accident.
The blame on my side, is that i didn't stop at the stop sign.
The blame on her side (taxi), which is unbeknownst and not the business of the police, is that she was speeding.
My car is wrecked and i feel like crap. I know its only a material thing, but this year alone i have been an expence to my parents no one could ever imagine. I know we have a lot of money, but thats not the point. I dont want to be an expence.
When i walked in today from dropping Rachel home, my dad stopped me and asked "What's going on with you and Rachel?" and i told him I was just very confused about where i wanted to be as a person next year, whether in adelaide or in Tassy. (long story.) And my dad said "What's so confusing?" so i replied "I just, dont want to lose contact with my friends, some of them are going to adelaide and i guess the only thing stopping me from going to Tas is that I'm afraid ill lose contact with these people. They mean a lot to me" so then my dad, without pausing to think said:
"Yeah, i know what you mean, good friends are special, but easier to keep than relationships, which are so fragile. Your friends, if they are good friends, will always be your friends no matter what, and you can come back in 6 years and pick up right where you left off. Friends will always be friends. But a good relationship... is a little harder to find."
At that moment i realised how stupid i was for even considering adelaide for the sake of friendship that will never die. I know now what i have always suspected. I can't live without Rachel. I can live apart from my friends, and i will. But whether rach and i stay together forever or not, Im not going to throw it away. I am ashamed i even thought about it.
I guess its because im growing up... and i dont like it. I dont want to be an adult yet. I dont want to say goodbye to my friends yet... to my childhood.
But i have to.
I hate myself for what i put Rachel through last night. I am such a fool for even thinking like that. I do not just want to throw what we have away. God knows if i'll ever find it again.
The second thing dad said to me, after i got in the car having finished with the police briefing, is that "You can replace cars, so forget it. But you can't replace people."
oh, and "Shit happens, thats what we say. Not 'why me' just, 'Shit happens'"
"Because shit is bound to happen to you one day"
I hardly know what I'm worth at the moment. I'm considering selling off my rig and my gc to pay for all the crap i've expended my parents for this year.
To prevent me from doing this.... Raj i'm going to need a job down there ok. Make sure i get a good one.
I feel like an idiot.
was i born, destined to become this idiot.
i have made so many mistakes in the past few days. and i hate only myself. I dont want to be anyones burden ever again.
-S-