sorry, you can only use the excuse "but it's a joke!" if it's actually funny
Okay so. This is a journal and a blog and anything I want it to be. So. I'm just gonna take a minute and discuss the whole controversy happening right now over Daniel Tosh and other comedians thinking rape is oh-so-funny and perfectly legitimate joke fodder.
First thing, if you don't know the story, there was a girl (who remains anon) who attended a comedy night at The Laugh Factory. Daniel Tosh was one of the comedians, though she didn't know who he was. Accounts of how the subject of rape was brought up differ, but I'm inclined to believe the anon audience member, since the owner of the club 'addressed the issue' to the media and flat out lied about what went down, so yeah. Anyway, rape was brought up and she was brave enough to call out that rape isn't funny. 'Cause it's not. And his response? "Wouldn't it be funny if she was raped by like five guys right now?" Or something to that extent.
...
Are you kidding me? I don't think Daniel Tosh is ever funny and like a lot of comedians his normal routine is trying to make tactless people laugh by being super offensive, but there is a line and he crossed it. At that point, it's not even a joke. It's an attack. Rape jokes are terrible in and of themselves, but let me repeat, that was not a joke.
The girl left at that point, and holy shit I would too. She complained to the manager, who just gave her tickets to another comedy show, 'cause that makes it better to be singled out and threatened? But oh, it was a ~joke. Wrong.
And let me just say that this isn't even about gender. Some people are harping on this issue, saying it's just dumb women over-reacting, or some feminist issue, but it's not. It's a ~humanity issue. Men get raped too, but because of our society's culture about rape, which is now on shining display for all to see, men are far less likely to report a rape than a woman, which is very sad because most women don't even report it.
That's not to say that rape isn't a feminist issue, and that gender inequality issues don't play a big part in the overall rape culture, because it very much is and it does. The fact is 98% of rapists are men. But not all male rapists rape women, and 2% of rapists are women. And the way both women and men interact with the world is shaped by our culture and the people living in the world, so it's an issue that affects all of humanity, not just one group of people. We ALL need to help change it.
Currently, we live in a sad, sad world. Why don't people report rape more often? Because of this. Because it's a ~joke. Because it's not taken seriously by most people. Because victims get blamed more often than the rapist. Because women are "just asking for it" by not being ashamed of their bodies and wearing what they want. Or because a woman is a "slut" (and I hate hate hate that world, by the way), she obviously always wants sex and her saying 'no' means nothing, because she's lying, or she's lying after the fact. Because men can't get raped by other men, clearly they just had a fight with their boyfriend or something. And men definitely can't get raped by women, 'cause they're bigger and stronger and that's just ridiculous. These are the messages our society sends out, and they are just spurred along by people like Daniel Tosh thinking rape is hilarious and, I don't know, a victimless crime? Does he honestly think that none of his audience members could possibly be rape survivors, and his bit has no affect on anyone at all? And not just him, because lots of comedians seem to think that being a comedian is a get out of jail free card, and they can joke about anything with no backlash, including rape, because it's a ~joke.
I could go outside and punch someone in the face, but I don't think the police would let me off of my assault charge because it's a ~joke, or because I heard some comedian say it and thought it was funny.
People like Daniel Tosh and other comedians, for some unknown reason, have fans. They have people who respect and admire them who hang on their every word. Getting up on a stage and essentially saying "rape is so funny hahahaha" makes the person listening and absorbing what they say think, guess what? "Rape is so funny hahaha." Except it's not. Ever.
What if someone in the audience had decided to take Tosh up on his offer? What if someone thought, "oh yeah that would be hilarious" and tried to make it happen? I do not believe he would have thought it was a joke in that case. It shouldn't be a "joke" in any case.
And what I said before about comedians thinking they have a 'get out of jail free' card just for being "special" and a comedian? Yeah. Daniel Tosh "apologized," but not really, by saying that bad things happen in the world but you can still joke about them. You can, sure, but don't expect everyone, or anyone, to think it's funny. And also:
I really love how she's a 'heckler.' What does that say about us, about our society's rape culture, that the woman brave enough to say 'no, that's actually not funny at all,' is getting blamed and name called? Gee, that's never happened before, hmmmm. Again, let's all work really hard to perpetuate our society's view of rape and not work on fixing our way of thinking and helping make sure no one has to suffer through... nah. That's not important. You know, I'm pretty sure that's actually not in the Team Member Handbook For Being a Comedian. Just a thought.
Another argument people are using in favor of Daniel Tosh being able to be a misogynist asshole whenever he wants is "but freedom of speech!!!1!" Okay, that only works if the government were involved in any way. Freedom of speech means that the government has no legal right to jail you or otherwise punish you for saying something. I mean, yeah, he can be a misogynist asshole whenever he wants, fine, but some people are oh so shocked that other people are calling him out on it. If he has "freedom of speech!!!1!" then so does she, sorry, and so do all the people calling Tosh and other comedians out on this issue. Freedom of speech is not a free pass to say something horribly offensive and expect no one to be upset at you. If that's what you think, you're doing it wrong.
As you can see, I feel very strongly about this issue. The bottom line is, rape is never funny. Never. There have been studies that have shown that a lot of convicted rapists feel that all men are rapists, they just don't get caught. While that is obviously an untrue conviction, there is a reason that mentality exists. Because it's perpetuated. Because rape is a ~joke. Did you know that in the United States, the first national study on rape wasn't conducted until 1992? We went to the moon before we actually started looking at rape as a serious crime. Most people's view on how to prevent rape is telling the potential victims to not put themselves in that situation. Don't wear "loose" clothing, don't go out at night, don't talk to strange men. That's like telling people they won't get murdered if they kill themselves first, or they wouldn't have gotten robbed if they lived in a box. It's really sad that none of these so-called prevention techniques involve teaching men that rape is wrong, so don't do it. See, it's not that hard a lesson. Yet another reason why we need actual sex-education in schools, but I digress. That is another blog post entirely. (One that I'll probably write, 'cause I have lots of feelings on that issue as well.)
I need to wrap this up or I'd go on about it forever, so I'll just say again: rape is not funny. It's a serious issue and a serious crime that needs to be brought to attention in a realistic light so that we can help eradicate a lot of people's false understandings about it. I wish that people like Daniel Tosh, who are "in the spotlight" and have people that respect and admire them would use their position for something good, rather then just trucking along and not caring about the effect their words might have on others. Again, this is an issue for all of humanity, not just one person or one group. We can ALL do something about this.
I was too lazy to link and things, so if you read this and want any follow up, feel free to comment and discuss, and if you want links for statistics or anything, just ask. Thanks for reading.
First thing, if you don't know the story, there was a girl (who remains anon) who attended a comedy night at The Laugh Factory. Daniel Tosh was one of the comedians, though she didn't know who he was. Accounts of how the subject of rape was brought up differ, but I'm inclined to believe the anon audience member, since the owner of the club 'addressed the issue' to the media and flat out lied about what went down, so yeah. Anyway, rape was brought up and she was brave enough to call out that rape isn't funny. 'Cause it's not. And his response? "Wouldn't it be funny if she was raped by like five guys right now?" Or something to that extent.
...
Are you kidding me? I don't think Daniel Tosh is ever funny and like a lot of comedians his normal routine is trying to make tactless people laugh by being super offensive, but there is a line and he crossed it. At that point, it's not even a joke. It's an attack. Rape jokes are terrible in and of themselves, but let me repeat, that was not a joke.
The girl left at that point, and holy shit I would too. She complained to the manager, who just gave her tickets to another comedy show, 'cause that makes it better to be singled out and threatened? But oh, it was a ~joke. Wrong.
And let me just say that this isn't even about gender. Some people are harping on this issue, saying it's just dumb women over-reacting, or some feminist issue, but it's not. It's a ~humanity issue. Men get raped too, but because of our society's culture about rape, which is now on shining display for all to see, men are far less likely to report a rape than a woman, which is very sad because most women don't even report it.
That's not to say that rape isn't a feminist issue, and that gender inequality issues don't play a big part in the overall rape culture, because it very much is and it does. The fact is 98% of rapists are men. But not all male rapists rape women, and 2% of rapists are women. And the way both women and men interact with the world is shaped by our culture and the people living in the world, so it's an issue that affects all of humanity, not just one group of people. We ALL need to help change it.
Currently, we live in a sad, sad world. Why don't people report rape more often? Because of this. Because it's a ~joke. Because it's not taken seriously by most people. Because victims get blamed more often than the rapist. Because women are "just asking for it" by not being ashamed of their bodies and wearing what they want. Or because a woman is a "slut" (and I hate hate hate that world, by the way), she obviously always wants sex and her saying 'no' means nothing, because she's lying, or she's lying after the fact. Because men can't get raped by other men, clearly they just had a fight with their boyfriend or something. And men definitely can't get raped by women, 'cause they're bigger and stronger and that's just ridiculous. These are the messages our society sends out, and they are just spurred along by people like Daniel Tosh thinking rape is hilarious and, I don't know, a victimless crime? Does he honestly think that none of his audience members could possibly be rape survivors, and his bit has no affect on anyone at all? And not just him, because lots of comedians seem to think that being a comedian is a get out of jail free card, and they can joke about anything with no backlash, including rape, because it's a ~joke.
I could go outside and punch someone in the face, but I don't think the police would let me off of my assault charge because it's a ~joke, or because I heard some comedian say it and thought it was funny.
People like Daniel Tosh and other comedians, for some unknown reason, have fans. They have people who respect and admire them who hang on their every word. Getting up on a stage and essentially saying "rape is so funny hahahaha" makes the person listening and absorbing what they say think, guess what? "Rape is so funny hahaha." Except it's not. Ever.
What if someone in the audience had decided to take Tosh up on his offer? What if someone thought, "oh yeah that would be hilarious" and tried to make it happen? I do not believe he would have thought it was a joke in that case. It shouldn't be a "joke" in any case.
And what I said before about comedians thinking they have a 'get out of jail free' card just for being "special" and a comedian? Yeah. Daniel Tosh "apologized," but not really, by saying that bad things happen in the world but you can still joke about them. You can, sure, but don't expect everyone, or anyone, to think it's funny. And also:
I really love how she's a 'heckler.' What does that say about us, about our society's rape culture, that the woman brave enough to say 'no, that's actually not funny at all,' is getting blamed and name called? Gee, that's never happened before, hmmmm. Again, let's all work really hard to perpetuate our society's view of rape and not work on fixing our way of thinking and helping make sure no one has to suffer through... nah. That's not important. You know, I'm pretty sure that's actually not in the Team Member Handbook For Being a Comedian. Just a thought.
Another argument people are using in favor of Daniel Tosh being able to be a misogynist asshole whenever he wants is "but freedom of speech!!!1!" Okay, that only works if the government were involved in any way. Freedom of speech means that the government has no legal right to jail you or otherwise punish you for saying something. I mean, yeah, he can be a misogynist asshole whenever he wants, fine, but some people are oh so shocked that other people are calling him out on it. If he has "freedom of speech!!!1!" then so does she, sorry, and so do all the people calling Tosh and other comedians out on this issue. Freedom of speech is not a free pass to say something horribly offensive and expect no one to be upset at you. If that's what you think, you're doing it wrong.
As you can see, I feel very strongly about this issue. The bottom line is, rape is never funny. Never. There have been studies that have shown that a lot of convicted rapists feel that all men are rapists, they just don't get caught. While that is obviously an untrue conviction, there is a reason that mentality exists. Because it's perpetuated. Because rape is a ~joke. Did you know that in the United States, the first national study on rape wasn't conducted until 1992? We went to the moon before we actually started looking at rape as a serious crime. Most people's view on how to prevent rape is telling the potential victims to not put themselves in that situation. Don't wear "loose" clothing, don't go out at night, don't talk to strange men. That's like telling people they won't get murdered if they kill themselves first, or they wouldn't have gotten robbed if they lived in a box. It's really sad that none of these so-called prevention techniques involve teaching men that rape is wrong, so don't do it. See, it's not that hard a lesson. Yet another reason why we need actual sex-education in schools, but I digress. That is another blog post entirely. (One that I'll probably write, 'cause I have lots of feelings on that issue as well.)
I need to wrap this up or I'd go on about it forever, so I'll just say again: rape is not funny. It's a serious issue and a serious crime that needs to be brought to attention in a realistic light so that we can help eradicate a lot of people's false understandings about it. I wish that people like Daniel Tosh, who are "in the spotlight" and have people that respect and admire them would use their position for something good, rather then just trucking along and not caring about the effect their words might have on others. Again, this is an issue for all of humanity, not just one person or one group. We can ALL do something about this.
I was too lazy to link and things, so if you read this and want any follow up, feel free to comment and discuss, and if you want links for statistics or anything, just ask. Thanks for reading.