Over a year
Wow its been over a year. I could write about what has happened in that amount of time but I rather not.
What I really need is just a space to vent. I whine a lot and I just need to get it out. I don't feel like I have all the oppertunity I need in order to feel like its been let go.
I'm really freaked about classes. Dave's class is alright I'm not as panicked as I was this morning. Chip's class however I'm near tears in frustration. His class doesn't work for me. I don't see how what he's covering in each class applies to cirrculum development. I'd ask this snotty question to him if I wasn't near failing the class already. I want to talk to Dave about it but that doesn't feel like the right answer either.
Who I really want to talk to is Greg. It was a tough week, and its been a hard Friday too. I'm lossing it and I don't want anyone to know. I mean I haven't been doing that great for a while now but I'm really on the edge of breaking down, and breaking down hard.
I had a pretty good cry on tuesday, but after university classes I just feel like I'm in this whirl wind of disaster. And the worst things is that I'm too caught up in becoming a teacher that I can't even allow myself the thought of leaving it.
Its starting to hurt a lot. The kids attitudes, their involvement. I wish it was the case of having too high of expectations that they weren't living up to. but a majority of them have flat out done squat. NOTHING!
What's even harder is that there are students who hate the class. Its more than the instrument, me, their peers...they just hate the class and refuse to provide any explanation. I could accept someone not liking the class, but please give me a chance to change some of the things you don't like. I want it to be an enjoy experience. But having them rag on the class just wears on me too, and it honestly makes me hate going to that class too.
The list of things that are wonderful are drowned but the unexpected hardships of teaching that I hadn't even thought of.
Is it wrong for me to hope for that light at the end of the tunnel. to hope that there will be that glorious day in which everything falls into place and I have that hallmark moment. I think my innocence and general enthusiam has fallen ill. I'm sure I'm curable, but I'm slightly crippled for the time being.
I miss home on top of everything else.
What I really need is just a space to vent. I whine a lot and I just need to get it out. I don't feel like I have all the oppertunity I need in order to feel like its been let go.
I'm really freaked about classes. Dave's class is alright I'm not as panicked as I was this morning. Chip's class however I'm near tears in frustration. His class doesn't work for me. I don't see how what he's covering in each class applies to cirrculum development. I'd ask this snotty question to him if I wasn't near failing the class already. I want to talk to Dave about it but that doesn't feel like the right answer either.
Who I really want to talk to is Greg. It was a tough week, and its been a hard Friday too. I'm lossing it and I don't want anyone to know. I mean I haven't been doing that great for a while now but I'm really on the edge of breaking down, and breaking down hard.
I had a pretty good cry on tuesday, but after university classes I just feel like I'm in this whirl wind of disaster. And the worst things is that I'm too caught up in becoming a teacher that I can't even allow myself the thought of leaving it.
Its starting to hurt a lot. The kids attitudes, their involvement. I wish it was the case of having too high of expectations that they weren't living up to. but a majority of them have flat out done squat. NOTHING!
What's even harder is that there are students who hate the class. Its more than the instrument, me, their peers...they just hate the class and refuse to provide any explanation. I could accept someone not liking the class, but please give me a chance to change some of the things you don't like. I want it to be an enjoy experience. But having them rag on the class just wears on me too, and it honestly makes me hate going to that class too.
The list of things that are wonderful are drowned but the unexpected hardships of teaching that I hadn't even thought of.
Is it wrong for me to hope for that light at the end of the tunnel. to hope that there will be that glorious day in which everything falls into place and I have that hallmark moment. I think my innocence and general enthusiam has fallen ill. I'm sure I'm curable, but I'm slightly crippled for the time being.
I miss home on top of everything else.