DCBB: Growing Down; Falling Up
Title: Growing Down; Falling Up
Author: sockkiah
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, gen, kidfic
Pairing(s): none.... some unrequited puppy love
Rating: PG
Word Count: 24,800
Warnings: Character death.
Betas: maskedfangirl & psycocatgirl. More detailed acknowledgments at end of fic.
Artist: lolryne
Art link: Art Masterlist
Summary: It’s been months since Dean has seen or heard from an angel, when Castiel crash lands back in his life. Still in the ten-year-old Claire Novak’s body, she’s been injured and seems like she’ll be grounded with the Winchesters for a while. She also brings news of the apocalypse, how certain parties are still trying to make that happen, and how angels and demons alike have been watching the Winchesters, waiting for an opportune moment to make their move. Meanwhile, Castiel is falling, and as she does she begins to experience the world more and more like a ten-year-old girl.
Sam considered his brother to be the faster driver, so he’d insisted they switch places in the car. Now they were racing to South Dakota as fast as Dean’s foot could drive them, but for the first time Castiel was hyper aware of how slow car travel was. It was confining and definitely nothing like flying, but when there’d been no particular destination in mind, it wasn’t a real inconvenience. Especially when it had offered her the ability to rest and heal while still remaining on the move.
Now however, crawling along the surface of the planet like this was torture. Castiel wondered if Anna was also at Bobby’s, or if she were merely watching the situation unfold and thought Cas and the Winchesters should know about it.
“She has a bit of a bird’s eye view on the whole situation,” Cas was explaining. “Or at least, I assume she still does.”
“What does that mean?” Sam asked. “Has she fallen like you did?”
“She has been ‘on our side’, yes, and Heaven removed her from her duties. Although being in a mature vessel, the process has gone slower for her.”
Sam had his arm slung over the seat and was gaping at her. “You couldn’t have told us all this before?”
“No.”
“We’re being watched, genius,” said Dean, punching him lightly in the arm.
“Yeah,” Castiel lowered her eyes. “Sorry about that. I wish I could’ve revealed more, but that would have only sped up the situation.”
“Maybe that would’ve been good,” Sam suggested. “We could’ve been going into a fight when you still had your angel powers, y’know.”
Castiel’s heart ached. “Yes, perhaps. I’m sorry, Sam,” she said, sitting back in her seat. She put on her headphones, turning up the CD loudly, retreating from the situation, missing the days when she could’ve disappeared entirely and flown away until she was ready to talk to Sam and Dean again. For now, the warbling in her headphones would have to suffice.
The book Sam had given her sat next to her on the seat. He’d said it would help pass the time in the car, but also, Sam gave it to her, and she was angry with Sam. It was stupid to be angry with him, but that didn’t seem to matter. She glared at the book and swatted it to the floor, then turned to face out the window, watching fields and farm houses go by.
You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, And I’ll be there…
Finally the car passed a sign reading “Welcome to South Dakota”.
“Okay,” said Dean, then waited for Castiel to take her headphones off. “We should have a plan. I know Zach and the bunch’ll hear whatever we say, but we can’t just drive up and get shot.”
“Zachariah will not shoot to kill either you nor Sam,” Castiel assured. “He will have no qualms about taking my life, of course, but you two are only at risk of injury and relocation.”
“I…” Sam hesitated, looking at Dean. “I hate to say this Cas, but maybe you should make one of those anti-angel wards on the seat back there.”
“In the car?” Dean challenged.
“We can’t go in with nothing, Dean. We’ve got nothing against him and we know he’s there. This is practically a suicide mission.”
“We’re not giving up,” Dean frowned.
“I didn’t say that,” said Sam, and while the brothers argued pointlessly over things they actually fully agreed on, Castiel reached into a canvas bag behind Sam’s seat and grabbed a knife. She gulped, holding it up to her forearm. Unlike when she was an angel, this was going to hurt her actual form. She had been able to feel it before when her vessel had been hurt, but it wasn’t the same as hurting herself.
* * * *
As if right on cue, little droplets of rain began to speckle the windows just as the Impala rumbled into Bobby’s yard. It was eerie quiet. There was no sign of Zachariah, or any sign that anything had changed. Other than the fact that they’d talked to Zachariah himself, there was no reason to think the hunter wasn’t inside, drinking and researching. But Castiel had a heavy feeling in her gut. She didn’t feel like Zachariah was here. Something was completely wrong.
She bit her lip and glanced at the banishing sigil drying on the back of Dean’s seat. Dean wasn’t happy about it, but like this was the first time Dean had blood get on his upholstery. He was over reacting because a little blood messing up his car was easier to confront than Zachariah, and whatever the angel had been doing with Bobby. Castiel worried about Anna though. If they had to banish Zachariah to save themselves, Anna might be sent off as well. If she was here anyway.
Dean stopped the car, but no one moved for several minutes. “I guess they didn’t hear us arrive,” Sam said hopefully.
“Yeah, I guess not,” Dean agreed. He opened his door and the sound seemed to echo for miles. With the door open, the stillness from outside snuck into the car, making the small hairs on Castiel’s arm stand up. It was like not a molecule was moving, save for the raindrops falling in increasing amounts. Castiel shivered, despite it being humid and sticky, but she opened her own door all the same.
Leaving the car would mean leaving the relative security of the blood sigil. Unconsciously Cas hugged her arms around herself, and missed the stuffed dog she’d left behind.
“Guess we go inside then?” offered Sam.
Dean nodded, holding the demon-killing knife at the ready, like it would do anything in this situation, and got out of the car. Apparently they had all assumed Zachariah would greet them as soon as they arrived, one of his stooges standing a few feet behind with a knife to Bobby’s neck.
Instead there was just… No one. The rain started to poor down now, and the air grew cooler. Castiel grabbed one of the long sleeved shirts Sam had brought her and pulled it around her shoulders. It was soaked through immediately upon stepping out of the car, her tennis shoes slipping in the mud.
Castiel doubted that Sam and Dean had ever been so cautious in approaching Bobby’s house. They kept their footfalls slow, trying not to let the boards on the steps and the porch creak. Wherever Zachariah was, they didn’t want him surprising them.
Dean’s shoulders instinctively relaxed, however, as he stepped through the threshold. “Bobby?”
He got no reply and continued in through the library room. The house was just as silent as outside. Motes of dust floated through a beam of light from a lamp that’d been left on, and that was the only thing Cas could see moving. The pattering of rain on the windows was the only sound.
“Hey Bobby,” Dean tried again, only to have the house respond with more quiet.
“Zachariah?” tried Sam. All three of them tensed waiting for a reply, or for the angel to flap in right in front of them, making casual asides as though he wasn’t the bad guy. Castiel felt limp with relief when nothing happened.
“Okay, you check upstairs,” Dean directed he brother. “Cas ‘n’ I’ll take the kitchen and basement.”
Unsurprisingly, no one was in the kitchen either. Castiel grabbed one of Bobby’s kitchen knives from the drying rack. “I think I should put up another sigil,” she said. “Just in case.”
Dean grabbed the knife from her hand. “Use my blood this time,” he said, then cut into his arm before there was time for argument. “Here,” he presented his bleeding arm to Castiel. “I don’t know how the sigil goes, exactly.”
“Maybe you should learn,” said Cas. “I’ll draw it slowly.”
Dean nodded and Castiel tentatively wiped two fingers through the cut on his arm. His blood was slick and warm across her fingers. She wished that she’d be able to heal his arm, once the sigil was made. They should’ve used her blood, but of course, she still had a scab healing on her own arm that she couldn’t heal. It was scary, how vulnerable she was. Zachariah could pop up any minute, and he’d be out to kill her. He wouldn’t screw it up a second time.
“Okay, that’s it,” Cas said, smearing Dean’s blood to form the last bit.
Dean grabbed a towel off the counter and pressed it to his arm. “Okay. So now if we run into Zachariah in the basement we just need to run up here and get rid of him.”
“I’ll leave it to you to distract him then,” Castiel smirk. She was only half joking. If Bobby were here, he’d either be sleeping and Sam would find him, or he’d be in the panic room. If Anna’s warning were anything to go by, Dean and Cas would find him down there. And that’s where Zachariah would be too.
In the basement, the door to the panic room was closed and locked from the inside. “Bobby?” Dean pounded on the iron door with his palm. “Bobby it’s me. What’s going on?”
Again, they were met with no reply, and Dean pulled open the slat in the door to peer through the window. It was well below Castiel’s eye line, so she could only guess at was he was seeing. Hopefully it wasn’t Bobby in there making all that silence. She hoped he wasn’t pinned to the wall or eviscerated or any number of awful things, with Zachariah standing center.
Dean sighed and closed the window. “He’s not here. It’s empty.”
Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.
“C’mon. Let’s go see if Sam had any better luck.”
It occurred to Castiel then, that having Sam go off alone wasn’t a particularly good idea. It was easy to get lulled into the sense of security that Sam and Dean felt just by being in the familiar house, so often a refuge of safety. But out of all of them, Zachariah would want Sam the most.
Sam clomped loudly down the stairs and met them in the den, and once again Castiel felt relief wash over her. She’d lost track of how many times she’d been holding her breathe out of worry today. The house felt like a more peaceful quiet now that they’d checked it through and hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary, lack of Bobby aside.
“Maybe Bobby just went out to the store?” Sam suggested hopefully.
“What about the phone call?” Cas questioned, looking all the way up into Sam’s eyes. The feelings of “not right” weren’t as pronounced in the house, but there was no way everything was okay.
“I know, I know. Just…. If Zachariah wanted us here, where is he? How do we know he did anything to Bobby at all. Maybe he just hacked the line?”
“And it’s just a coincidence that Anna contacted us in the same day?” Cas said. “She’s been in hiding. She wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m just being optimistic Cas.”
“Yeah, well don’t be,” she glowered at Sam. “We are in the middle of-“
“Hey,” Dean put a hand on Cas’ shoulder, pulling her closer to him, and held up his other hand for Sam to stop. “Not really a good time to let close quarters and travel frustrations get to you. Now no offense Sam, but I agree with Cas. We need to find Bobby, because Zach was here. The panic room was empty and locked from the inside. Plus we never would’ve made the call without Anna’s text, so she might be in trouble too. We’ve gotta find them, however we can.
“Should we check the yard?” asked Castiel.
“Looks like,” Dean agreed. “I think we should stick together this time.”
“Hold up,” Sam stopped them. “We’re here now. We can make the hex bags.”
Coming here and being able to hide behind Ruby’s magic had never been a feasible option before, so Cas hadn’t actively wished for it. But now that this plan was being put into action, it was amazingly comforting. She’d been trying to hide from Zachariah and Raphael for months. That they suddenly wouldn’t be able to see her… There was some kind of emotion about it. It was choking at her throat, whatever it was. It was greater than just relief. Dean and Cas sat on the couch in Bobby’s den watching Sam root around in his drawers and shelves for everything he’d need to recreate Ruby’s super-hide-and-seek-from-angels-and-demons-alike hex bags. Dean popped the top on a bottle of cream soda and passed it to Cas.
“Cheers,” he said, raising his own bottle, his with beer in it.
“Dean, why don’t you help me find some of the stuff on this list?” Sam asked.
Dean grumbled and Castiel knew he hated using anything from Ruby to their advantage, despite the fact that her knife still sat across his lap. He always felt like these remnants of Ruby would turn around and poison them, just as the demon had poisoned Sam.
Cas got up and clinked her bottle against Dean’s. “’Spose he shouldn’t need to mess around with Ruby’s stuff all on his own, Dean.”
Dean nodded and gulped down half the contents of his bottle. Castiel was eager to help Sam and finally be hidden.
Making the hex bags didn’t take long, Sam already being familiar with Bobby’s supplies. He even made a couple extra, in case they ran into Bobby or a fallen Anna. “Here,” he handed one each to Dean and Cas. Castiel shoved hers in her pocket and smiled.
* * * *
If Castiel had thought the mud was bad before, she was longing for it now. As it turned out, slipping in the mud was vastly preferable to sinking into it and sticking. Sam and Dean seemed to be having no trouble with their boots, but her shoes were clearly not meant for the terrain. Castiel wiped her hand across her eyes, trying to keep rainwater out. It was pointless searching for anyone out here. She could barely see three feet in front of her, and besides was so focused on taking her next step without her shoe coming off, that she’d never see anyone even if they were out there.
“Maybe….” Cas looked up and realized she needed to catch up to Sam and Dean. Stumbling forward she started again, “Maybe we should text Anna again. Ask if she can be more specific about where to look.”
Dean nodded, also wiping water from his eyes, and ducked into the nearest garage. Except the back third of the garage was completely smashed, and the car that had been inside was turned on its side.
“Whoa,” said Dean. “Holy crap.”
“Bobby, you in here?” shouted Sam. They couldn’t step in too far without stepping on rubble.
Dean held out a hand in front of Cas’ chest, keeping her from moving forward. “Careful you don’t step on any nails Cas,” before he called out as well. “Bobby!”
“Dean?”
It wasn’t Bobby. The voice was smaller and female.
“Anna?” Castiel questioned at the pile of rubble, her face lighting up.
“Castiel?” the pile asked. “I can’t believe you’re still okay.”
“It’s me Anna,” she said, and ducked under Dean’s hand. “Where are you?”
“I’m stuck,” she said, as Cas rounded the sideways car and saw her. She was lying on her back halfway outside, her long red hair tangled in a mud puddle. The real problem was her legs were still inside, under a bunch of fallen down roofing materials and the driver’s side window of the car. “I think the car’s on my leg.”
Castiel nodded.
“I guess this means you’re not an angel anymore either, huh?” said Dean.
She lifted her head and smiled sadly at him. “Yes. Unfortunately this time the fall was not exactly voluntary. Better this than being dragged back to Heaven though, as I’m sure Castiel can attest.” Castiel bit her lip. She wasn’t quite sure on that yet. “So anyway, who wants to get this car off me?”
Castiel, Sam, and Dean tried to find a grip on the roof of the car, Castiel’s finger finally digging in at the gap between the roof and the door. Sam and Dean’s larger hands gripped at the top of the window. Dean counted to three and together they pulled up. Castiel gasped at the effort. Cars were amazingly heavy, as it turned out, for objects that were mostly hollow inside. Still, somehow they managed to lift the vehicle a couple inches, which was more than enough for Anna to slide out.
Dean ran over to her side to help pull her into relative dryness of the garage. “We might need to go to the hospital for this one,” he said, frowning at her leg. “I’m sure it’s broken and will need to be set.”
“It’s not that bad,” Anna insisted. “A hairline fracture maybe, but I can hack it until we have time. I’m assuming you noticed how Bobby isn’t here.”
“We have,” said Dean. He picked up some kind of tool that had a sharp end and began carefully cutting open the fabric of Anna’s jeans, revealing a calf that was mostly covered in deep purple bruises. Sam started going through the pile of fallen roof, looking for a piece of wood that could be used as a splint, careful not to move anything that supported what remained of the garage.
“Yeah, well Zachariah took him. I found out about his plan and popped down here, and yeah, I know… I said I wasn’t an angel,” she said, looking sideways at Sam, who’d stopped to give her a quizzical look. “I popped down here knowing I’d never be able to fly back up. It was sort of a crash landing, and that’s why Zachariah found me.”
“Did you knock down the garage?” Castiel wondered.
“No, that was all Zach. I started to draw a banishing sigil and he flipped the car on me, then busted out the back wall where I’d been drawing it. Then he took Bobby and left. He was the one who forced me to text you, by the way. I’m sorry I led you into a trap.”
“That’s okay,” said Castiel, feeling fairly useless, as the Winchesters seemed to wordlessly know what to do in a medical situation, and she was just left guessing. She moved to sit by Anna’s side. “If you hadn’t texted us, we’d never have found you. You could’ve died under that car.”
“More important,” said Dean, who was now cutting the fabric he’d removed from Anna’s jeans into strips. “Do you know where Zach took Bobby?”
“Yes. But you should know, he wanted me to tell you. He could’ve set off his trap here, but I guess he doesn’t want Ruby to try and involve herself, so instead he left me to deliver a message.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a trap, it’s Bobby. We’re going to go get him.”
“Yeah, I know. He took him to Van Nuys.”
* * * *
The main problem with what Zachariah had done was that Castiel could see so few holes in his plan. The place in Van Nuys was a box with removable doors depending upon Zachariah’s whim, so no one could get in the box unless the angel wanted them there. Added to that was the fact that they had no weapons that could harm Zachariah aside from a banishing sigil, but that was fairly useless since then they’d only be trapped in the room until the angel returned.
“He calls it his ‘Green Room’,” Castiel explained. Anna was sitting sideways in the backseat of the Impala, with her splinted leg lying across the seat. The configuration left little room for Castiel to sit, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. Dean was speeding toward California as fast as his car could go, and it’d do no good to complain about awkward seating arrangement. “I know he made it awhile ago, but I didn’t really know what for. Presumably it has something to do with the apocalypse.”
“Lilith has been off my radar for days now,” said Anna. “Presumably he’s been keeping her there as well. As you guys know, she was having some minor second thoughts about this whole thing. She does enjoy living I guess, or whatever she does that she counts as living. Anyway, either she’s hiding deep, or Zach’s got her there too.”
“So we’re looking at angels and demons and we’ve got nothing. That’s just awesome.”
“Well,” Anna grinned, “not exactly nothing, Dean.”
Cas turned to her, scooting her whole butt around on her corner of the seat so she was facing sideways toward Anna. This was more comfortable. “Why? What do you have?”
Anna reached behind her and pulled a gleaming blade from beneath her shirt. “Zachariah knew that I’d have an angel blade, so of course he took mine off me. But what he didn’t know was that I also had Castiel’s.”
She handed the sword back to its rightful owner and suddenly the world seemed a lot less bleak. They could make a plan now. They could hurt Zachariah, even kill him. The freefall toward the apocalypse could end today. Or tomorrow, actually, given how unbearably slow car travel was, but still. Castiel turned the blade over in her hands, feeling the weight of it. It seemed heavier now that she was human. The high pitched hum of the its power imperceptible, but somehow in her chest she could feel it still there. The power that could kill an angel, striking through its grace with a combustible force that caused glowing white creation to collapse in on itself before exploding outward.
The next few hours were spent debating the merits of several different plans, all of which sounded insane and suicidal.
“We can’t all just rush in at once, Dean,” Anna rolled her eyes. “The Green Room is inside a warehouse in an old muffler factory. Zach’ll have several angels guarding the room; you’ll never even make it inside.”
They argued more until Dean had another suggestion. “We go in teams then. Sam and I will go in with the sword, then the girls sneak in behind us and put up a banishing sigil. I’ll fight ‘em off until you get rid of ‘em.”
Castiel shook her head. “I don’t think Sam should go at all. This is a trap, remember? This trap was set for Sam.”
Dean started to argue, but Cas talked over him. “Especially if Anna’s right and Zachariah already has Lilith.”
When Castiel had last spent time in heaven, part of the proceedings intent on convincing her that the apocalypse was necessary involved a detailed summary of how and where Lucifer would walk free. Because of how they hadn’t been truly alone all this time, Cas hadn’t yet explained this exactly to the Winchesters. Now that they were hidden by hex bags, she launched into the lengthy explanation.
“So if Zachariah gets both Sam and Lilith in the same location, he can fly off with both of them to Maryland,” she concluded.
“Wow, oh my God, Dean,” said Sam. “I’m so sorry. I… I’ve felt that Ruby was bad news since I got cleaned out, but,” he stopped to swallow back his emotions. “I had no idea.”
“It’s okay. We got you clean. It’s done. No more demon blood,” Dean said with classic resolve.
“I’m just sorry Dean. I didn’t know.”
“Anyway,” Anna interrupted. “We still don’t have a plan.”
“We’ve got a long drive ahead to figure one out,” said Dean. “I need to think on this new information a bit. Why don’t you guys get some sleep? We’ll talk when we’ve all got our heads in the game.”
“Let me know when you want to switch drivers,” Sam said. It was unspoken that they weren’t going to stop for sleep or for anything that might take longer than a bathroom break.
Castiel lay back, stretching herself out next to Anna so she could get some sleep. No one slept.
* * * *
Somehow by the time they were crossing the California border, they had all agreed upon a plan. There were holes in the plan, and Castiel wasn’t sure if it was a very good plan, but it seemed the least flawed thing they could come up with. After a bit of arguing, it was settled that they needed to stop for food and to stretch their legs before Operation Rescue Bobby could be set in motion.
Ten minutes later Castiel was in her familiar spot in the backseat, only she was looking at the back of Anna’s head. Since her leg was still broken, she’d been designated as the getaway driver. The toast Castiel had eaten sat in her stomach like a brick. She was just about to say something about her second thoughts when Dean (sitting next to her) clapped his hand on her shoulder and the car rumbled to a stop. “Ready to go, kid?”
Castiel gulped and nodded and got out of the car.
To Castiel, the first part of the plan seemed the most risky. That worried feeling in her gut worsened as she watched Sam and Anna drive off. Sam was to enter the warehouse on his own, banish the angels inside, and bet back in the car before Zachariah could find him and whisk him away. He would have no back up, because Dean and Cas would be confronting Zachariah, and that part had to be a two man job.
This would never work.
Dean put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulled her into his side. “Hey, this is gonna work.”
“What if we never see Sam again?” Castiel’s voice hitched in her throat.
“Sam’ll be fine,” Dean said, like if he said it enough it would become true. “Now c’mon. We’re gonna be late for the party.”
Castiel reached up and grabbed Dean’s hand in hers, and together they walked the rest of the way to the Green Room, hiding behind their hex bags and the buildings. Finally Cas saw the building where they were headed, the Impala idling outside.
Suddenly a scream from inside the warehouse tore through the air. Cas dove behind the corner of the building, keeping her back flat to the wall. The scream didn’t sound like Sam, but...
What if it was Lilith? What if it was Lilith being transported away along with Sam and now he was clear on the other side of the country? Castiel was starting to suspect Zachariah might’ve chosen this location for his Green Room based on how it was about as far away as he could get from Ilchester, Maryland.
But then came the blessed slam of a car door, and the roar of the Impala speeding away, kicking up rocks behind her. It sounded like Sam had actually done it. Castiel’s heart began to pound harder, and maybe she never actually thought this leg of the plan would work, so she hadn’t put a lot of thought into she and Dean actually having to do anything.
Tears were pricking at her eyes and she kind of wanted to throw up. They had to rescue Bobby, she knew this wasn’t debatable, but now some long suppressed, cowardly part of her kind of missed the plan where she and Anna sat around drawing sigils while Sam and Dean were the ones who actually had to go into the Green Room. Who were they kidding? They were all humans and they actually thought they could go up against angels? This was ridiculous.
She gulped and rubbed her hands on her jeans. Her sword was tucked safely in the sleeve of her shirt, so her elbow couldn’t bend normally, but it was nice knowing it was there. Safely hidden until the moment they needed it.
“Cas?”
She looked up at Dean. He was putting on a brave face for her benefit, but Dean Winchester was terrified. He was scared of what he might find inside, if Bobby might already be dead. Scared of what Zachariah would do with him, for Castiel assured him that the angel wouldn’t kill Dean… That they still “had work for him”.
Dean was scared of what might happen to Cas. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and tucked her long hairs behind her ear. “We’re gonna be okay, Cas. I’m gonna look out for you, got that?”
Cas nodded, and then she was grabbing Dean around the middle, pulling herself around him for a hug. Her face smashed into his t-shirt, and the feel and smell of it reminded her of her first days where she was reliant on the Winchesters, wearing Dean’s smallest shirt everywhere. Dean held her in the hug tight for a short while, but both of them knew those angels wouldn’t stay banished forever.
“When this is all done, I’m gonna buy you another Justin Bieber CD, okay?”
Castiel smiled and wanted to laugh, but she was too nervous and shivered instead. She took a deep breath, willing the oxygen to fill her with courage. With Dean’s hand on her back, they walked into the warehouse.
* * * *
Inside was dark and empty. Sam had indeed been successful at his part of the plan. In the center of the large room, someone had built a box. Castiel knew that Zachariah had total control over everything inside that box. Where there was a door visible on the outside, the same door probably didn’t exist on the inside. He could change how large the interior was at a whim… It could be bigger on the inside, or it could be smaller. Bobby could be sitting inside a box no larger than a refrigerator. There was no guessing what they would find inside.
Dean opened the door, these concerns not on his mind, and Castiel had no choice but to follow him.
Castiel blinked at the brightness of the room. The size parameters of the Green Room were in fact similar to how they appeared on the outside, and Zachariah had decorated the place with lavish paintings and sculptures. And a harp. Because Zachariah liked to think he was hilarious.
Half the space was taken up by a large devil’s trap, in the middle of which sat a very small girl in a pink party dress. This was easily the youngest vessel Castiel had ever seen Lilith take. She couldn’t have been more than four years old. She was pouting and stabbing a fork into the floor repeatedly.
And on the opposite side of the room, in a chair with ornate carvings and plush cushions, sat Bobby Singer. He looked at least as grumpy as the demon trapped across the room, if not more so. “I can’t believe you idjits. We’re you not aware that this was a trap? Get out of here before that son of a bitch comes back.”
“Bobby,” relief swept over Dean’s face.
“We’re happy you’re alive,” Castiel said helpfully.
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a touching reunion,” Zachariah sneered from over by the food tables. “I assure you Dean, I’ve been treating your hunter friend very kindly.”
Dean turned and reeled on Zachariah. Castiel was meant to hang back while Dean drew his attention away from her, not giving the angel time to strike. Quickly she slunk back underneath a table filled with beer, roasted chicken, and peach pies.
“Let. Bobby. Go,” Dean demanded, daring to get right up in the angel’s face until Cas was safely hidden.
Zachariah remained unmoved, speaking calmly to the raging Winchester, as though he were having a casual talk about the weather. “I’d love to get rid of your hunter, Dean. He’s been such a grump and doesn’t go with my décor at all, wouldn’t you say?”
Dean didn’t say anything.
“But I’m afraid we have a problem. See, I need your brother. And you’re going to tell me where he is.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“Pesky Winchesters and their hex bags,” Zachariah began to pace around the room. “I really ought to kill that demon when we’re done here as thanks for teaching you how to do that. But… here we are. Now I can’t see your brother anymore, but I know he’s more or less alone. Easy pickings.”
“I’m here for Bobby,” Dean said, his face a careful deadpan.
“What I need from you, before I can give you your hunter back, is Sam’s location. Where were you planning to rendezvous?”
“Nowhere. We didn’t think that far ahead.”
Dean was supposed to have continued getting in Zachariah’s face, eventually backing him into wherever Castiel had chosen to hide. However, with him now pacing around the room, Dean couldn’t figure out how to make that happen. Castiel hoped he would just by chance walk past her.
“Bull. Where’s Sam.”
“I’m not telling you,” Dean growled.
“Oh,” Zachariah raised his eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure you will.” He snapped his fingers and Bobby began to groan, clutching at his abdomen.
“I’m afraid your friend might’ve contracted a parasite or two or sixty.”
Across the room, Lilith laughed, watching with delight as Bobby began to cough up blood.
“You,” Dean raised his fist, his knuckles meeting the angel’s cheek with a clang. Dean grimaced in pain, and held his hand gingerly. “Fix… Fix him. Let us out of here.”
“It only gets worse the longer you don’t cooperate,” Zachariah warned and waited a beat. He snapped his fingers again, and suddenly Cas’ head was splitting in half. It was like her skull was a being broken into chunks with a jackhammer. She touched at her ears, positive that blood must be gushing out from them, but found nothing was. The agony broke a strangled cry from her throat, and she fell from her hiding place under the table.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Dean. I thought that girl was your responsibility now. What did you let her do that gave her such a severe cerebral hemorrhage?”
“Leave Cas alone!”
Lilith giggled again, and got up to stick a finger in the frosting of her birthday cake.
“I’d estimate her lifespan at only minutes. And I can fix her, only… I still need to know where you put your brother.”
Castiel’s head felt like it weighed about a thousand pounds, and when she looked around she saw bright yellow spots of light. It was hard to see through them and find exactly where Zachariah was in the room, but she couldn’t wait anymore. One more threat and he might kill Bobby. He wouldn’t hesitate when he also had Castiel as leverage. It wasn’t the plan, but she needed to go to Zachariah. She needed to kill him now.
Dean saw what she was doing as soon as she managed to crawl from her hiding space. Sitting still had been agonizing, but moving was worse. Her head was throbbing so terribly she wasn’t quite sure if she was moving her limbs or not, and just had to assume her legs were standing like she was thinking for them to do.
Dean tried to keep Zachariah’s attention, stepping close to him and narrowing his eyes only a couple inches from the angel’s face. “Okay Zach, we didn’t have a planned rendezvous, I swear. I was just gonna call him after. Let me just get out my phone.”
Zachariah looked at Dean, scrutinizing his offer.
“He’ll never succeed anyway,” Lilith smirked. “Zach, you stupid angel, why do you think I took this vessel? There’s not enough blood in it to open the door. You’re going to kill me now? You’re wasting your chance!”
Zachariah wheeled around and saw Castiel. Was she standing upright? Was she close to Zachariah, within striking range? He was just a shadowy blur behind all the black and yellow spots that made up most of her vision. She was dizzy, and if she just went to sleep she’d be less dizzy…
Crack!
Pain swept up from her leg into her gut which churned, and she must’ve been standing before, because she could feel her leg give out beneath her, bones grinding together. Castiel gulped back her nausea and rubbed her eyes. She was lying flat on her back, staring at the clean white ceiling, and it should’ve been bright, but everything was dim.
Dean’s voice was muffled now, all Cas’ senses shutting down, but at least that meant the pain in her head was less sharp than it had been a moment ago. “Damn it, why do I want to listen to you? You want me to tell you where Sam is, fuck off!”
She was so dizzy, but adrenalin had kicked in regarding whatever Zachariah had done to her leg. She suspected it was broken; she could hear the bones. And then a well polished shoe stepped not two inches away from her eye, and vision muddled or not, it was close enough that Castiel knew exactly where Zachariah was standing.
She would have to stand if her blade was going to hit its target.
Swallowing hard, Castiel pushed herself up with one arm, letting the sword slide out of the other sleeve. The smooth metal was cool against her skin, and when the handle fit into her palm her vision cleared.
The sword was meant to kill angels, so Castiel didn’t expect to be met with such resistance when it met Zachariah’s spine. But it was bone, and Castiel had to stand on her toes to thrust the blade through his neck.
The moment it happened the explosion of grace knocked back onto her butt, broken leg folding beneath her with a sickening crunch, the force of the angel’s grace knocking the breath out of her. The sound of Zachariah’s grace simultaneously imploding and exploding rocked against her ears until she could hear nothing, but someone was by her side, holding her tight. The muddiness of her vision had returned, but it was Dean’s familiar t-shirt rubbing against her cheek.
They were rocking together, back and forth, Castiel across Dean’s lap. Dean was saying something, she was sure. She could feel the vibrations in his chest, but he seemed to get farther and farther away. Still, his arms were strong all around her, keeping her safe.
* * * *
“You want me to tell you where Sam is, fuck off!” Anger pounded in Dean’s ears, guilt clutching at his chest. He could hardly breathe. Bobby was in a bad way, but he’d probably be okay. But Cas… Tears prickled his eyes. She was down for the count. Dean had no choice. There wouldn’t be the element of surprise, and Zachariah would probably kill him before he’d have a chance to stand up, but he had to take the sword from Castiel. He had to try to kill Zachariah, then maybe he could get Bobby and Cas to a hospital before it was too late.
Bobby was sweating profusely and he groaned again. There wasn’t time for the old hunter right now. Dean stepped toward Castiel, but Zach moved with him until he practically stepped on her.
It was all over before Dean knew it. Cas stood up somehow, and then that sword was exploding in Zachariah’s neck.
“Shut your eyes!” Dean screamed to Bobby, taking his own advice. Zachariah’s grace concussed around the walls of the room. When Dean removed his arm from his face, he could see the imprints of Zachariah’s wings arching all the way across the floor. They cut across the devil’s trap. Lilith grinned, then the little girl’s body went limp.
But Castiel had done it. Her brain was exploding and her leg was broken and still the former angel found it in herself to finish the job and save them all, despite her broken human body.
Dean rushed to Castiel’s side. Her leg was basically on backward, and the angel’s grace seemed to have gone right through her. Dean remembered Alistair saying once, that only and angel can kill another angel. “Castiel,” he kissed the top of her head, holding her in his lap. “Cas you did it. You’re better than any angel, Castiel. You’re a little girl and you saved the whole world.”
Castiel’s breath rattled in her chest. Her organs were starting to shut down. Her brain was almost already gone.
Dean’s tears soaked into her long hair. He rocked her back and forth like the motion could keep her alive. “I’m going to buy you every stupid Bieber magazine and we’re going to go for ice cream everyday. Cas…”
Bobby put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Dean. Really.” Bobby looked terrible. He needed to go to the hospital.
“Don’t go,” he sobbed into Castiel’s shoulder.
Bobby hobbled over to the little girl Lilith had been wearing and gathered her up in his arms. “Dean, I’m no expert, but I’ve been here at least a day. Zachariah’s minions have gotta be comin’ back pretty soon.”
Dean nodded and silently picked up Castiel’s body. He tried to hold the broken leg in place so that it looked okay. He was so tired. It would never be okay.
Bobby was saying something. “What?”
“Where’s Sam?”
“Oh. He’s at a donut shop about four blocks over. We… We were gonna walk, but her leg’s broken...”
“I’ll call him,” said Bobby. “Don’t worry, I ain’t walking.”
* * * *
“Get up Dean,” Sam smacked his shoulder with something, but Dean refused to open his eyes to see what. He grumbled and rolled over.
“C’mon, Dean. Bobby wants his couch back. And I made bacon. Nothing says life is worth living like fried strips of pig!”
Dean could smell the bacon, and his stomach was growling, but he was too stubborn to offer his brother a response. Then Sam started throwing books at him.
“Ow ow, hey! What’re you trying to kill me?”
“I found us a hunt,” Sam said brightly. “Now come on, you’ve sat around here enough. Eat your breakfast and I’ll show you. I think it’s a shifter, maybe a skinwalker?”
Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and followed Sam into the kitchen, but all his muscles still felt like they were on the couch. Bobby had sent them to keep an eye on his place and help man his phones, while the hospital in California kept him for over a week. He’d returned yesterday.
“I’m not really hungry,” Dean decided, swiping four slices of bacon and grabbing a beer from the fridge. He didn’t feel like talking about shapeshifters right now, and Anna would be more than happy to eat the rest of the bacon. She was human again and thrilled about it, her leg healing slowly but surely.
“Dean,” Sam scolded, but he was already walking down the porch toward the car lot. The sun was high overhead and glittering off the old windshields and side mirrors. Dean walked all the way to the end of the lot, munching on bacon. Castiel had been as annoying as hell, like having a kid sister and a know-it-all angel all wrapped into one. But it was so quiet with her gone.
For two weeks she’d been at his side almost every second, save for breaks to the bathroom. She’d kicked the back of his seat while he was driving. Her arm had flopped across his face when they were sleeping. She’d eaten his food. She’d told him he was wrong about something every five seconds and wouldn’t stop listening to Justin Bieber. She’d had a crush on Dean himself for all of a day, and it was probably the cutest thing that had ever happened to him.
She’d kept Zachariah from unleashing Lucifer and Hell on Earth. She’d saved all of them; even the little girl Lilith was possessing turned out to be fine. Traumatized for life, but she’d live. Her parents wouldn’t believe a word of her story, and then they’d send her to Kindergarten next year, just like all the other kids.
Dean wondered if he would’ve sent Castiel to school. She was human, so they would’ve had to come up with some kind of identity for her, but she had knowledge accumulated over millennia. They could’ve pretended to home school her, but maybe she would’ve wanted to go. To meet the other kids and paste pictures of pop stars on each other’s notebooks.
It didn’t merit thinking about, but Dean couldn’t stop thinking about it. She should’ve lived. If only there had been one angel who was on their side. Someone to come in and heal her. It wasn’t fair that Castiel had saved Dean from Hell and rebuilt him entirely, and yet he couldn’t protect Cas for even a month.
“Hey Dean,” someone said behind him.
“Bobby’s back now,” Dean said without turning around. “He can help you find what you want.”
“I wanted to find you.”
The man walked around to where Dean could see him.
It was Cas.
But it wasn’t Cas. The man in front of him was back in his trench coat and backwards tie, walking around looking like Jimmy Novak. His stupidly blue eyes sparkled when he grinned at Dean’s slack jawed expression.
“Castiel? You’re… You died.” Dean’s breath caught in his lungs, aching with hope that this could be real.
Castiel nodded.
“That was you that died.” He needed reassurance of this for some reason. The person he’d held in his arms was a ten-year-old girl.
“You kept me safe, Dean,” he said, and then did that adorable thing where he tilted his head just a little bit, and this was definitely, definitely Castiel. His eyes looked at him with more trust than anyone had had for him since Sam was eight.
Dean bit his lip, and looked away from Castiel, only realizing now that their eyes had been locked on one another. “I got you killed.”
“That depends upon how you look at it. Maybe you let me save you.”
Cas, who he never imagined getting to see again. Cas. But he wasn’t Cas Cas. He was that guy who Dean loved like a great friend. Like if Bobby were actually pretty mind blowingly attractive and full of cosmic angel power.
But he wasn’t the little girl. The Castiel who loved syrup and kept devising ways to get Sam to buy her Lisa Frank stickers and who kicked the back of his seat even in her sleep. He wasn’t the child Dean had grown to love the way he loved Sam, and his heart ached at that.
He searched those blue, blue eyes for a spark of what he’d begun to find familiar now. Searching for some quintessential Cas, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what it was. And Cas smiled. The way he’d never done before he’d fallen, and a smile Dean had never seen on this face. The grin split across his face the same was it had just before the little girl Cas was about to giggle.
Dean wanted to cry the way his heart pounded with relief and couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to touch the guy, if only just to prove he was real. This was Cas, his Cas, standing right in front of him, saying ridiculous things in that way that made them sound so incredibly important and it was Cas. And he’d always been the same Cas, just now complete with a whole new set of experiences. Dean grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. And surprisingly, Castiel’s arms reflexively wrapped around Dean. It was like they’d hugged before, but also like they hadn’t. Like meeting a new person and already feeling you’d known them all your life.
Dean was concerned suddenly, and pushed Castiel back, holding him at arms length away. “You don’t still have the hots for me, do you?”
“I’m an angel again. I don’t have ‘the hots’ for anyone.”
“Good,” said Dean, super relieved. Because, fine, the Jimmy vessel was hot, and Dean would’ve done filthy things with Castiel had the angel ever wanted, but now? Dean shook his head. He was completely uninterested. He still wanted to take Cas out for ice cream and order extra sprinkles for her… him.
“Wait. You’re an angel again?”
“I just came back to get my Bieber CDs, actually.”
Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm back around Castiel’s shoulders. He didn’t want to let go of him. He didn’t want to take the chance that he’d never see him again. He wanted to watch Disney Channel with him for hours on end until Sam got fed up and made them go to bed.
“How?” Dean asked.
Castiel’s eyebrows knit together. “I don’t know. I know this body was rebuilt, but Jimmy’s soul has remained free, as has Claire’s. I know both of them would prefer her body stay at rest. And I know I was a human when I died, so my soul died like a human soul. I awoke in the nearby woods and was again an angel. I do not know how or why.”
“Maybe it was a reward?”
Castiel laughed. It was weird, because Cas laughed all the time, but Dean had never heard him laugh as a grown man. He missed the shrill giggling of his Cas. “I’m glad to see you have hope again, Dean.”
“Hey, Sam made about a shit ton of bacon inside. You want some?”
“Do you have any maple syrup?”
Dean smiled and kissed Cas on the side of his head above his ear. “As much as you want,” he said. And no way that the Castiel Dean knew was gone, because he was right there next to him.
THE END.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | PDF | Art Masterlist | Soundtrack
Acknowledgements: I'm sort of in awe that I ever finished this at all, and the only reason I did is because of all the lovely people who helped me do it! Thank you so much to my beta readers psycocatgirl and maskedfangirl. You ladies are so awesome. Especially maskedfangirl, who by the misfortune of living with me, had to listen to me complain and fight with this fic for months on end. Also to everyone else I know IRL who had to listen to me... especially in my quest for a title!
And yay for lolryne who took this fic on despite already having a lot already on her plate. I'm so excited that others share my love of Clairestiel. <3
Author: sockkiah
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, gen, kidfic
Pairing(s): none.... some unrequited puppy love
Rating: PG
Word Count: 24,800
Warnings: Character death.
Betas: maskedfangirl & psycocatgirl. More detailed acknowledgments at end of fic.
Artist: lolryne
Art link: Art Masterlist
Summary: It’s been months since Dean has seen or heard from an angel, when Castiel crash lands back in his life. Still in the ten-year-old Claire Novak’s body, she’s been injured and seems like she’ll be grounded with the Winchesters for a while. She also brings news of the apocalypse, how certain parties are still trying to make that happen, and how angels and demons alike have been watching the Winchesters, waiting for an opportune moment to make their move. Meanwhile, Castiel is falling, and as she does she begins to experience the world more and more like a ten-year-old girl.
Sam considered his brother to be the faster driver, so he’d insisted they switch places in the car. Now they were racing to South Dakota as fast as Dean’s foot could drive them, but for the first time Castiel was hyper aware of how slow car travel was. It was confining and definitely nothing like flying, but when there’d been no particular destination in mind, it wasn’t a real inconvenience. Especially when it had offered her the ability to rest and heal while still remaining on the move.
Now however, crawling along the surface of the planet like this was torture. Castiel wondered if Anna was also at Bobby’s, or if she were merely watching the situation unfold and thought Cas and the Winchesters should know about it.
“She has a bit of a bird’s eye view on the whole situation,” Cas was explaining. “Or at least, I assume she still does.”
“What does that mean?” Sam asked. “Has she fallen like you did?”
“She has been ‘on our side’, yes, and Heaven removed her from her duties. Although being in a mature vessel, the process has gone slower for her.”
Sam had his arm slung over the seat and was gaping at her. “You couldn’t have told us all this before?”
“No.”
“We’re being watched, genius,” said Dean, punching him lightly in the arm.
“Yeah,” Castiel lowered her eyes. “Sorry about that. I wish I could’ve revealed more, but that would have only sped up the situation.”
“Maybe that would’ve been good,” Sam suggested. “We could’ve been going into a fight when you still had your angel powers, y’know.”
Castiel’s heart ached. “Yes, perhaps. I’m sorry, Sam,” she said, sitting back in her seat. She put on her headphones, turning up the CD loudly, retreating from the situation, missing the days when she could’ve disappeared entirely and flown away until she was ready to talk to Sam and Dean again. For now, the warbling in her headphones would have to suffice.
The book Sam had given her sat next to her on the seat. He’d said it would help pass the time in the car, but also, Sam gave it to her, and she was angry with Sam. It was stupid to be angry with him, but that didn’t seem to matter. She glared at the book and swatted it to the floor, then turned to face out the window, watching fields and farm houses go by.
You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, And I’ll be there…
Finally the car passed a sign reading “Welcome to South Dakota”.
“Okay,” said Dean, then waited for Castiel to take her headphones off. “We should have a plan. I know Zach and the bunch’ll hear whatever we say, but we can’t just drive up and get shot.”
“Zachariah will not shoot to kill either you nor Sam,” Castiel assured. “He will have no qualms about taking my life, of course, but you two are only at risk of injury and relocation.”
“I…” Sam hesitated, looking at Dean. “I hate to say this Cas, but maybe you should make one of those anti-angel wards on the seat back there.”
“In the car?” Dean challenged.
“We can’t go in with nothing, Dean. We’ve got nothing against him and we know he’s there. This is practically a suicide mission.”
“We’re not giving up,” Dean frowned.
“I didn’t say that,” said Sam, and while the brothers argued pointlessly over things they actually fully agreed on, Castiel reached into a canvas bag behind Sam’s seat and grabbed a knife. She gulped, holding it up to her forearm. Unlike when she was an angel, this was going to hurt her actual form. She had been able to feel it before when her vessel had been hurt, but it wasn’t the same as hurting herself.
* * * *
As if right on cue, little droplets of rain began to speckle the windows just as the Impala rumbled into Bobby’s yard. It was eerie quiet. There was no sign of Zachariah, or any sign that anything had changed. Other than the fact that they’d talked to Zachariah himself, there was no reason to think the hunter wasn’t inside, drinking and researching. But Castiel had a heavy feeling in her gut. She didn’t feel like Zachariah was here. Something was completely wrong.
She bit her lip and glanced at the banishing sigil drying on the back of Dean’s seat. Dean wasn’t happy about it, but like this was the first time Dean had blood get on his upholstery. He was over reacting because a little blood messing up his car was easier to confront than Zachariah, and whatever the angel had been doing with Bobby. Castiel worried about Anna though. If they had to banish Zachariah to save themselves, Anna might be sent off as well. If she was here anyway.
Dean stopped the car, but no one moved for several minutes. “I guess they didn’t hear us arrive,” Sam said hopefully.
“Yeah, I guess not,” Dean agreed. He opened his door and the sound seemed to echo for miles. With the door open, the stillness from outside snuck into the car, making the small hairs on Castiel’s arm stand up. It was like not a molecule was moving, save for the raindrops falling in increasing amounts. Castiel shivered, despite it being humid and sticky, but she opened her own door all the same.
Leaving the car would mean leaving the relative security of the blood sigil. Unconsciously Cas hugged her arms around herself, and missed the stuffed dog she’d left behind.
“Guess we go inside then?” offered Sam.
Dean nodded, holding the demon-killing knife at the ready, like it would do anything in this situation, and got out of the car. Apparently they had all assumed Zachariah would greet them as soon as they arrived, one of his stooges standing a few feet behind with a knife to Bobby’s neck.
Instead there was just… No one. The rain started to poor down now, and the air grew cooler. Castiel grabbed one of the long sleeved shirts Sam had brought her and pulled it around her shoulders. It was soaked through immediately upon stepping out of the car, her tennis shoes slipping in the mud.
Castiel doubted that Sam and Dean had ever been so cautious in approaching Bobby’s house. They kept their footfalls slow, trying not to let the boards on the steps and the porch creak. Wherever Zachariah was, they didn’t want him surprising them.
Dean’s shoulders instinctively relaxed, however, as he stepped through the threshold. “Bobby?”
He got no reply and continued in through the library room. The house was just as silent as outside. Motes of dust floated through a beam of light from a lamp that’d been left on, and that was the only thing Cas could see moving. The pattering of rain on the windows was the only sound.
“Hey Bobby,” Dean tried again, only to have the house respond with more quiet.
“Zachariah?” tried Sam. All three of them tensed waiting for a reply, or for the angel to flap in right in front of them, making casual asides as though he wasn’t the bad guy. Castiel felt limp with relief when nothing happened.
“Okay, you check upstairs,” Dean directed he brother. “Cas ‘n’ I’ll take the kitchen and basement.”
Unsurprisingly, no one was in the kitchen either. Castiel grabbed one of Bobby’s kitchen knives from the drying rack. “I think I should put up another sigil,” she said. “Just in case.”
Dean grabbed the knife from her hand. “Use my blood this time,” he said, then cut into his arm before there was time for argument. “Here,” he presented his bleeding arm to Castiel. “I don’t know how the sigil goes, exactly.”
“Maybe you should learn,” said Cas. “I’ll draw it slowly.”
Dean nodded and Castiel tentatively wiped two fingers through the cut on his arm. His blood was slick and warm across her fingers. She wished that she’d be able to heal his arm, once the sigil was made. They should’ve used her blood, but of course, she still had a scab healing on her own arm that she couldn’t heal. It was scary, how vulnerable she was. Zachariah could pop up any minute, and he’d be out to kill her. He wouldn’t screw it up a second time.
“Okay, that’s it,” Cas said, smearing Dean’s blood to form the last bit.
Dean grabbed a towel off the counter and pressed it to his arm. “Okay. So now if we run into Zachariah in the basement we just need to run up here and get rid of him.”
“I’ll leave it to you to distract him then,” Castiel smirk. She was only half joking. If Bobby were here, he’d either be sleeping and Sam would find him, or he’d be in the panic room. If Anna’s warning were anything to go by, Dean and Cas would find him down there. And that’s where Zachariah would be too.
In the basement, the door to the panic room was closed and locked from the inside. “Bobby?” Dean pounded on the iron door with his palm. “Bobby it’s me. What’s going on?”
Again, they were met with no reply, and Dean pulled open the slat in the door to peer through the window. It was well below Castiel’s eye line, so she could only guess at was he was seeing. Hopefully it wasn’t Bobby in there making all that silence. She hoped he wasn’t pinned to the wall or eviscerated or any number of awful things, with Zachariah standing center.
Dean sighed and closed the window. “He’s not here. It’s empty.”
Castiel breathed a sigh of relief.
“C’mon. Let’s go see if Sam had any better luck.”
It occurred to Castiel then, that having Sam go off alone wasn’t a particularly good idea. It was easy to get lulled into the sense of security that Sam and Dean felt just by being in the familiar house, so often a refuge of safety. But out of all of them, Zachariah would want Sam the most.
Sam clomped loudly down the stairs and met them in the den, and once again Castiel felt relief wash over her. She’d lost track of how many times she’d been holding her breathe out of worry today. The house felt like a more peaceful quiet now that they’d checked it through and hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary, lack of Bobby aside.
“Maybe Bobby just went out to the store?” Sam suggested hopefully.
“What about the phone call?” Cas questioned, looking all the way up into Sam’s eyes. The feelings of “not right” weren’t as pronounced in the house, but there was no way everything was okay.
“I know, I know. Just…. If Zachariah wanted us here, where is he? How do we know he did anything to Bobby at all. Maybe he just hacked the line?”
“And it’s just a coincidence that Anna contacted us in the same day?” Cas said. “She’s been in hiding. She wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m just being optimistic Cas.”
“Yeah, well don’t be,” she glowered at Sam. “We are in the middle of-“
“Hey,” Dean put a hand on Cas’ shoulder, pulling her closer to him, and held up his other hand for Sam to stop. “Not really a good time to let close quarters and travel frustrations get to you. Now no offense Sam, but I agree with Cas. We need to find Bobby, because Zach was here. The panic room was empty and locked from the inside. Plus we never would’ve made the call without Anna’s text, so she might be in trouble too. We’ve gotta find them, however we can.
“Should we check the yard?” asked Castiel.
“Looks like,” Dean agreed. “I think we should stick together this time.”
“Hold up,” Sam stopped them. “We’re here now. We can make the hex bags.”
Coming here and being able to hide behind Ruby’s magic had never been a feasible option before, so Cas hadn’t actively wished for it. But now that this plan was being put into action, it was amazingly comforting. She’d been trying to hide from Zachariah and Raphael for months. That they suddenly wouldn’t be able to see her… There was some kind of emotion about it. It was choking at her throat, whatever it was. It was greater than just relief. Dean and Cas sat on the couch in Bobby’s den watching Sam root around in his drawers and shelves for everything he’d need to recreate Ruby’s super-hide-and-seek-from-angels-and-demons-alike hex bags. Dean popped the top on a bottle of cream soda and passed it to Cas.
“Cheers,” he said, raising his own bottle, his with beer in it.
“Dean, why don’t you help me find some of the stuff on this list?” Sam asked.
Dean grumbled and Castiel knew he hated using anything from Ruby to their advantage, despite the fact that her knife still sat across his lap. He always felt like these remnants of Ruby would turn around and poison them, just as the demon had poisoned Sam.
Cas got up and clinked her bottle against Dean’s. “’Spose he shouldn’t need to mess around with Ruby’s stuff all on his own, Dean.”
Dean nodded and gulped down half the contents of his bottle. Castiel was eager to help Sam and finally be hidden.
Making the hex bags didn’t take long, Sam already being familiar with Bobby’s supplies. He even made a couple extra, in case they ran into Bobby or a fallen Anna. “Here,” he handed one each to Dean and Cas. Castiel shoved hers in her pocket and smiled.
* * * *
If Castiel had thought the mud was bad before, she was longing for it now. As it turned out, slipping in the mud was vastly preferable to sinking into it and sticking. Sam and Dean seemed to be having no trouble with their boots, but her shoes were clearly not meant for the terrain. Castiel wiped her hand across her eyes, trying to keep rainwater out. It was pointless searching for anyone out here. She could barely see three feet in front of her, and besides was so focused on taking her next step without her shoe coming off, that she’d never see anyone even if they were out there.
“Maybe….” Cas looked up and realized she needed to catch up to Sam and Dean. Stumbling forward she started again, “Maybe we should text Anna again. Ask if she can be more specific about where to look.”
Dean nodded, also wiping water from his eyes, and ducked into the nearest garage. Except the back third of the garage was completely smashed, and the car that had been inside was turned on its side.
“Whoa,” said Dean. “Holy crap.”
“Bobby, you in here?” shouted Sam. They couldn’t step in too far without stepping on rubble.
Dean held out a hand in front of Cas’ chest, keeping her from moving forward. “Careful you don’t step on any nails Cas,” before he called out as well. “Bobby!”
“Dean?”
It wasn’t Bobby. The voice was smaller and female.
“Anna?” Castiel questioned at the pile of rubble, her face lighting up.
“Castiel?” the pile asked. “I can’t believe you’re still okay.”
“It’s me Anna,” she said, and ducked under Dean’s hand. “Where are you?”
“I’m stuck,” she said, as Cas rounded the sideways car and saw her. She was lying on her back halfway outside, her long red hair tangled in a mud puddle. The real problem was her legs were still inside, under a bunch of fallen down roofing materials and the driver’s side window of the car. “I think the car’s on my leg.”
Castiel nodded.
“I guess this means you’re not an angel anymore either, huh?” said Dean.
She lifted her head and smiled sadly at him. “Yes. Unfortunately this time the fall was not exactly voluntary. Better this than being dragged back to Heaven though, as I’m sure Castiel can attest.” Castiel bit her lip. She wasn’t quite sure on that yet. “So anyway, who wants to get this car off me?”
Castiel, Sam, and Dean tried to find a grip on the roof of the car, Castiel’s finger finally digging in at the gap between the roof and the door. Sam and Dean’s larger hands gripped at the top of the window. Dean counted to three and together they pulled up. Castiel gasped at the effort. Cars were amazingly heavy, as it turned out, for objects that were mostly hollow inside. Still, somehow they managed to lift the vehicle a couple inches, which was more than enough for Anna to slide out.
Dean ran over to her side to help pull her into relative dryness of the garage. “We might need to go to the hospital for this one,” he said, frowning at her leg. “I’m sure it’s broken and will need to be set.”
“It’s not that bad,” Anna insisted. “A hairline fracture maybe, but I can hack it until we have time. I’m assuming you noticed how Bobby isn’t here.”
“We have,” said Dean. He picked up some kind of tool that had a sharp end and began carefully cutting open the fabric of Anna’s jeans, revealing a calf that was mostly covered in deep purple bruises. Sam started going through the pile of fallen roof, looking for a piece of wood that could be used as a splint, careful not to move anything that supported what remained of the garage.
“Yeah, well Zachariah took him. I found out about his plan and popped down here, and yeah, I know… I said I wasn’t an angel,” she said, looking sideways at Sam, who’d stopped to give her a quizzical look. “I popped down here knowing I’d never be able to fly back up. It was sort of a crash landing, and that’s why Zachariah found me.”
“Did you knock down the garage?” Castiel wondered.
“No, that was all Zach. I started to draw a banishing sigil and he flipped the car on me, then busted out the back wall where I’d been drawing it. Then he took Bobby and left. He was the one who forced me to text you, by the way. I’m sorry I led you into a trap.”
“That’s okay,” said Castiel, feeling fairly useless, as the Winchesters seemed to wordlessly know what to do in a medical situation, and she was just left guessing. She moved to sit by Anna’s side. “If you hadn’t texted us, we’d never have found you. You could’ve died under that car.”
“More important,” said Dean, who was now cutting the fabric he’d removed from Anna’s jeans into strips. “Do you know where Zach took Bobby?”
“Yes. But you should know, he wanted me to tell you. He could’ve set off his trap here, but I guess he doesn’t want Ruby to try and involve herself, so instead he left me to deliver a message.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a trap, it’s Bobby. We’re going to go get him.”
“Yeah, I know. He took him to Van Nuys.”
* * * *
The main problem with what Zachariah had done was that Castiel could see so few holes in his plan. The place in Van Nuys was a box with removable doors depending upon Zachariah’s whim, so no one could get in the box unless the angel wanted them there. Added to that was the fact that they had no weapons that could harm Zachariah aside from a banishing sigil, but that was fairly useless since then they’d only be trapped in the room until the angel returned.
“He calls it his ‘Green Room’,” Castiel explained. Anna was sitting sideways in the backseat of the Impala, with her splinted leg lying across the seat. The configuration left little room for Castiel to sit, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. Dean was speeding toward California as fast as his car could go, and it’d do no good to complain about awkward seating arrangement. “I know he made it awhile ago, but I didn’t really know what for. Presumably it has something to do with the apocalypse.”
“Lilith has been off my radar for days now,” said Anna. “Presumably he’s been keeping her there as well. As you guys know, she was having some minor second thoughts about this whole thing. She does enjoy living I guess, or whatever she does that she counts as living. Anyway, either she’s hiding deep, or Zach’s got her there too.”
“So we’re looking at angels and demons and we’ve got nothing. That’s just awesome.”
“Well,” Anna grinned, “not exactly nothing, Dean.”
Cas turned to her, scooting her whole butt around on her corner of the seat so she was facing sideways toward Anna. This was more comfortable. “Why? What do you have?”
Anna reached behind her and pulled a gleaming blade from beneath her shirt. “Zachariah knew that I’d have an angel blade, so of course he took mine off me. But what he didn’t know was that I also had Castiel’s.”
She handed the sword back to its rightful owner and suddenly the world seemed a lot less bleak. They could make a plan now. They could hurt Zachariah, even kill him. The freefall toward the apocalypse could end today. Or tomorrow, actually, given how unbearably slow car travel was, but still. Castiel turned the blade over in her hands, feeling the weight of it. It seemed heavier now that she was human. The high pitched hum of the its power imperceptible, but somehow in her chest she could feel it still there. The power that could kill an angel, striking through its grace with a combustible force that caused glowing white creation to collapse in on itself before exploding outward.
The next few hours were spent debating the merits of several different plans, all of which sounded insane and suicidal.
“We can’t all just rush in at once, Dean,” Anna rolled her eyes. “The Green Room is inside a warehouse in an old muffler factory. Zach’ll have several angels guarding the room; you’ll never even make it inside.”
They argued more until Dean had another suggestion. “We go in teams then. Sam and I will go in with the sword, then the girls sneak in behind us and put up a banishing sigil. I’ll fight ‘em off until you get rid of ‘em.”
Castiel shook her head. “I don’t think Sam should go at all. This is a trap, remember? This trap was set for Sam.”
Dean started to argue, but Cas talked over him. “Especially if Anna’s right and Zachariah already has Lilith.”
When Castiel had last spent time in heaven, part of the proceedings intent on convincing her that the apocalypse was necessary involved a detailed summary of how and where Lucifer would walk free. Because of how they hadn’t been truly alone all this time, Cas hadn’t yet explained this exactly to the Winchesters. Now that they were hidden by hex bags, she launched into the lengthy explanation.
“So if Zachariah gets both Sam and Lilith in the same location, he can fly off with both of them to Maryland,” she concluded.
“Wow, oh my God, Dean,” said Sam. “I’m so sorry. I… I’ve felt that Ruby was bad news since I got cleaned out, but,” he stopped to swallow back his emotions. “I had no idea.”
“It’s okay. We got you clean. It’s done. No more demon blood,” Dean said with classic resolve.
“I’m just sorry Dean. I didn’t know.”
“Anyway,” Anna interrupted. “We still don’t have a plan.”
“We’ve got a long drive ahead to figure one out,” said Dean. “I need to think on this new information a bit. Why don’t you guys get some sleep? We’ll talk when we’ve all got our heads in the game.”
“Let me know when you want to switch drivers,” Sam said. It was unspoken that they weren’t going to stop for sleep or for anything that might take longer than a bathroom break.
Castiel lay back, stretching herself out next to Anna so she could get some sleep. No one slept.
* * * *
Somehow by the time they were crossing the California border, they had all agreed upon a plan. There were holes in the plan, and Castiel wasn’t sure if it was a very good plan, but it seemed the least flawed thing they could come up with. After a bit of arguing, it was settled that they needed to stop for food and to stretch their legs before Operation Rescue Bobby could be set in motion.
Ten minutes later Castiel was in her familiar spot in the backseat, only she was looking at the back of Anna’s head. Since her leg was still broken, she’d been designated as the getaway driver. The toast Castiel had eaten sat in her stomach like a brick. She was just about to say something about her second thoughts when Dean (sitting next to her) clapped his hand on her shoulder and the car rumbled to a stop. “Ready to go, kid?”
Castiel gulped and nodded and got out of the car.
To Castiel, the first part of the plan seemed the most risky. That worried feeling in her gut worsened as she watched Sam and Anna drive off. Sam was to enter the warehouse on his own, banish the angels inside, and bet back in the car before Zachariah could find him and whisk him away. He would have no back up, because Dean and Cas would be confronting Zachariah, and that part had to be a two man job.
This would never work.
Dean put his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and pulled her into his side. “Hey, this is gonna work.”
“What if we never see Sam again?” Castiel’s voice hitched in her throat.
“Sam’ll be fine,” Dean said, like if he said it enough it would become true. “Now c’mon. We’re gonna be late for the party.”
Castiel reached up and grabbed Dean’s hand in hers, and together they walked the rest of the way to the Green Room, hiding behind their hex bags and the buildings. Finally Cas saw the building where they were headed, the Impala idling outside.
Suddenly a scream from inside the warehouse tore through the air. Cas dove behind the corner of the building, keeping her back flat to the wall. The scream didn’t sound like Sam, but...
What if it was Lilith? What if it was Lilith being transported away along with Sam and now he was clear on the other side of the country? Castiel was starting to suspect Zachariah might’ve chosen this location for his Green Room based on how it was about as far away as he could get from Ilchester, Maryland.
But then came the blessed slam of a car door, and the roar of the Impala speeding away, kicking up rocks behind her. It sounded like Sam had actually done it. Castiel’s heart began to pound harder, and maybe she never actually thought this leg of the plan would work, so she hadn’t put a lot of thought into she and Dean actually having to do anything.
Tears were pricking at her eyes and she kind of wanted to throw up. They had to rescue Bobby, she knew this wasn’t debatable, but now some long suppressed, cowardly part of her kind of missed the plan where she and Anna sat around drawing sigils while Sam and Dean were the ones who actually had to go into the Green Room. Who were they kidding? They were all humans and they actually thought they could go up against angels? This was ridiculous.
She gulped and rubbed her hands on her jeans. Her sword was tucked safely in the sleeve of her shirt, so her elbow couldn’t bend normally, but it was nice knowing it was there. Safely hidden until the moment they needed it.
“Cas?”
She looked up at Dean. He was putting on a brave face for her benefit, but Dean Winchester was terrified. He was scared of what he might find inside, if Bobby might already be dead. Scared of what Zachariah would do with him, for Castiel assured him that the angel wouldn’t kill Dean… That they still “had work for him”.
Dean was scared of what might happen to Cas. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and tucked her long hairs behind her ear. “We’re gonna be okay, Cas. I’m gonna look out for you, got that?”
Cas nodded, and then she was grabbing Dean around the middle, pulling herself around him for a hug. Her face smashed into his t-shirt, and the feel and smell of it reminded her of her first days where she was reliant on the Winchesters, wearing Dean’s smallest shirt everywhere. Dean held her in the hug tight for a short while, but both of them knew those angels wouldn’t stay banished forever.
“When this is all done, I’m gonna buy you another Justin Bieber CD, okay?”
Castiel smiled and wanted to laugh, but she was too nervous and shivered instead. She took a deep breath, willing the oxygen to fill her with courage. With Dean’s hand on her back, they walked into the warehouse.
* * * *
Inside was dark and empty. Sam had indeed been successful at his part of the plan. In the center of the large room, someone had built a box. Castiel knew that Zachariah had total control over everything inside that box. Where there was a door visible on the outside, the same door probably didn’t exist on the inside. He could change how large the interior was at a whim… It could be bigger on the inside, or it could be smaller. Bobby could be sitting inside a box no larger than a refrigerator. There was no guessing what they would find inside.
Dean opened the door, these concerns not on his mind, and Castiel had no choice but to follow him.
Castiel blinked at the brightness of the room. The size parameters of the Green Room were in fact similar to how they appeared on the outside, and Zachariah had decorated the place with lavish paintings and sculptures. And a harp. Because Zachariah liked to think he was hilarious.
Half the space was taken up by a large devil’s trap, in the middle of which sat a very small girl in a pink party dress. This was easily the youngest vessel Castiel had ever seen Lilith take. She couldn’t have been more than four years old. She was pouting and stabbing a fork into the floor repeatedly.
And on the opposite side of the room, in a chair with ornate carvings and plush cushions, sat Bobby Singer. He looked at least as grumpy as the demon trapped across the room, if not more so. “I can’t believe you idjits. We’re you not aware that this was a trap? Get out of here before that son of a bitch comes back.”
“Bobby,” relief swept over Dean’s face.
“We’re happy you’re alive,” Castiel said helpfully.
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a touching reunion,” Zachariah sneered from over by the food tables. “I assure you Dean, I’ve been treating your hunter friend very kindly.”
Dean turned and reeled on Zachariah. Castiel was meant to hang back while Dean drew his attention away from her, not giving the angel time to strike. Quickly she slunk back underneath a table filled with beer, roasted chicken, and peach pies.
“Let. Bobby. Go,” Dean demanded, daring to get right up in the angel’s face until Cas was safely hidden.
Zachariah remained unmoved, speaking calmly to the raging Winchester, as though he were having a casual talk about the weather. “I’d love to get rid of your hunter, Dean. He’s been such a grump and doesn’t go with my décor at all, wouldn’t you say?”
Dean didn’t say anything.
“But I’m afraid we have a problem. See, I need your brother. And you’re going to tell me where he is.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“Pesky Winchesters and their hex bags,” Zachariah began to pace around the room. “I really ought to kill that demon when we’re done here as thanks for teaching you how to do that. But… here we are. Now I can’t see your brother anymore, but I know he’s more or less alone. Easy pickings.”
“I’m here for Bobby,” Dean said, his face a careful deadpan.
“What I need from you, before I can give you your hunter back, is Sam’s location. Where were you planning to rendezvous?”
“Nowhere. We didn’t think that far ahead.”
Dean was supposed to have continued getting in Zachariah’s face, eventually backing him into wherever Castiel had chosen to hide. However, with him now pacing around the room, Dean couldn’t figure out how to make that happen. Castiel hoped he would just by chance walk past her.
“Bull. Where’s Sam.”
“I’m not telling you,” Dean growled.
“Oh,” Zachariah raised his eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure you will.” He snapped his fingers and Bobby began to groan, clutching at his abdomen.
“I’m afraid your friend might’ve contracted a parasite or two or sixty.”
Across the room, Lilith laughed, watching with delight as Bobby began to cough up blood.
“You,” Dean raised his fist, his knuckles meeting the angel’s cheek with a clang. Dean grimaced in pain, and held his hand gingerly. “Fix… Fix him. Let us out of here.”
“It only gets worse the longer you don’t cooperate,” Zachariah warned and waited a beat. He snapped his fingers again, and suddenly Cas’ head was splitting in half. It was like her skull was a being broken into chunks with a jackhammer. She touched at her ears, positive that blood must be gushing out from them, but found nothing was. The agony broke a strangled cry from her throat, and she fell from her hiding place under the table.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, Dean. I thought that girl was your responsibility now. What did you let her do that gave her such a severe cerebral hemorrhage?”
“Leave Cas alone!”
Lilith giggled again, and got up to stick a finger in the frosting of her birthday cake.
“I’d estimate her lifespan at only minutes. And I can fix her, only… I still need to know where you put your brother.”
Castiel’s head felt like it weighed about a thousand pounds, and when she looked around she saw bright yellow spots of light. It was hard to see through them and find exactly where Zachariah was in the room, but she couldn’t wait anymore. One more threat and he might kill Bobby. He wouldn’t hesitate when he also had Castiel as leverage. It wasn’t the plan, but she needed to go to Zachariah. She needed to kill him now.
Dean saw what she was doing as soon as she managed to crawl from her hiding space. Sitting still had been agonizing, but moving was worse. Her head was throbbing so terribly she wasn’t quite sure if she was moving her limbs or not, and just had to assume her legs were standing like she was thinking for them to do.
Dean tried to keep Zachariah’s attention, stepping close to him and narrowing his eyes only a couple inches from the angel’s face. “Okay Zach, we didn’t have a planned rendezvous, I swear. I was just gonna call him after. Let me just get out my phone.”
Zachariah looked at Dean, scrutinizing his offer.
“He’ll never succeed anyway,” Lilith smirked. “Zach, you stupid angel, why do you think I took this vessel? There’s not enough blood in it to open the door. You’re going to kill me now? You’re wasting your chance!”
Zachariah wheeled around and saw Castiel. Was she standing upright? Was she close to Zachariah, within striking range? He was just a shadowy blur behind all the black and yellow spots that made up most of her vision. She was dizzy, and if she just went to sleep she’d be less dizzy…
Crack!
Pain swept up from her leg into her gut which churned, and she must’ve been standing before, because she could feel her leg give out beneath her, bones grinding together. Castiel gulped back her nausea and rubbed her eyes. She was lying flat on her back, staring at the clean white ceiling, and it should’ve been bright, but everything was dim.
Dean’s voice was muffled now, all Cas’ senses shutting down, but at least that meant the pain in her head was less sharp than it had been a moment ago. “Damn it, why do I want to listen to you? You want me to tell you where Sam is, fuck off!”
She was so dizzy, but adrenalin had kicked in regarding whatever Zachariah had done to her leg. She suspected it was broken; she could hear the bones. And then a well polished shoe stepped not two inches away from her eye, and vision muddled or not, it was close enough that Castiel knew exactly where Zachariah was standing.
She would have to stand if her blade was going to hit its target.
Swallowing hard, Castiel pushed herself up with one arm, letting the sword slide out of the other sleeve. The smooth metal was cool against her skin, and when the handle fit into her palm her vision cleared.
The sword was meant to kill angels, so Castiel didn’t expect to be met with such resistance when it met Zachariah’s spine. But it was bone, and Castiel had to stand on her toes to thrust the blade through his neck.
The moment it happened the explosion of grace knocked back onto her butt, broken leg folding beneath her with a sickening crunch, the force of the angel’s grace knocking the breath out of her. The sound of Zachariah’s grace simultaneously imploding and exploding rocked against her ears until she could hear nothing, but someone was by her side, holding her tight. The muddiness of her vision had returned, but it was Dean’s familiar t-shirt rubbing against her cheek.
They were rocking together, back and forth, Castiel across Dean’s lap. Dean was saying something, she was sure. She could feel the vibrations in his chest, but he seemed to get farther and farther away. Still, his arms were strong all around her, keeping her safe.
* * * *
“You want me to tell you where Sam is, fuck off!” Anger pounded in Dean’s ears, guilt clutching at his chest. He could hardly breathe. Bobby was in a bad way, but he’d probably be okay. But Cas… Tears prickled his eyes. She was down for the count. Dean had no choice. There wouldn’t be the element of surprise, and Zachariah would probably kill him before he’d have a chance to stand up, but he had to take the sword from Castiel. He had to try to kill Zachariah, then maybe he could get Bobby and Cas to a hospital before it was too late.
Bobby was sweating profusely and he groaned again. There wasn’t time for the old hunter right now. Dean stepped toward Castiel, but Zach moved with him until he practically stepped on her.
It was all over before Dean knew it. Cas stood up somehow, and then that sword was exploding in Zachariah’s neck.
“Shut your eyes!” Dean screamed to Bobby, taking his own advice. Zachariah’s grace concussed around the walls of the room. When Dean removed his arm from his face, he could see the imprints of Zachariah’s wings arching all the way across the floor. They cut across the devil’s trap. Lilith grinned, then the little girl’s body went limp.
But Castiel had done it. Her brain was exploding and her leg was broken and still the former angel found it in herself to finish the job and save them all, despite her broken human body.
Dean rushed to Castiel’s side. Her leg was basically on backward, and the angel’s grace seemed to have gone right through her. Dean remembered Alistair saying once, that only and angel can kill another angel. “Castiel,” he kissed the top of her head, holding her in his lap. “Cas you did it. You’re better than any angel, Castiel. You’re a little girl and you saved the whole world.”
Castiel’s breath rattled in her chest. Her organs were starting to shut down. Her brain was almost already gone.
Dean’s tears soaked into her long hair. He rocked her back and forth like the motion could keep her alive. “I’m going to buy you every stupid Bieber magazine and we’re going to go for ice cream everyday. Cas…”
Bobby put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Dean. Really.” Bobby looked terrible. He needed to go to the hospital.
“Don’t go,” he sobbed into Castiel’s shoulder.
Bobby hobbled over to the little girl Lilith had been wearing and gathered her up in his arms. “Dean, I’m no expert, but I’ve been here at least a day. Zachariah’s minions have gotta be comin’ back pretty soon.”
Dean nodded and silently picked up Castiel’s body. He tried to hold the broken leg in place so that it looked okay. He was so tired. It would never be okay.
Bobby was saying something. “What?”
“Where’s Sam?”
“Oh. He’s at a donut shop about four blocks over. We… We were gonna walk, but her leg’s broken...”
“I’ll call him,” said Bobby. “Don’t worry, I ain’t walking.”
* * * *
“Get up Dean,” Sam smacked his shoulder with something, but Dean refused to open his eyes to see what. He grumbled and rolled over.
“C’mon, Dean. Bobby wants his couch back. And I made bacon. Nothing says life is worth living like fried strips of pig!”
Dean could smell the bacon, and his stomach was growling, but he was too stubborn to offer his brother a response. Then Sam started throwing books at him.
“Ow ow, hey! What’re you trying to kill me?”
“I found us a hunt,” Sam said brightly. “Now come on, you’ve sat around here enough. Eat your breakfast and I’ll show you. I think it’s a shifter, maybe a skinwalker?”
Dean rubbed the sleep from his eyes and followed Sam into the kitchen, but all his muscles still felt like they were on the couch. Bobby had sent them to keep an eye on his place and help man his phones, while the hospital in California kept him for over a week. He’d returned yesterday.
“I’m not really hungry,” Dean decided, swiping four slices of bacon and grabbing a beer from the fridge. He didn’t feel like talking about shapeshifters right now, and Anna would be more than happy to eat the rest of the bacon. She was human again and thrilled about it, her leg healing slowly but surely.
“Dean,” Sam scolded, but he was already walking down the porch toward the car lot. The sun was high overhead and glittering off the old windshields and side mirrors. Dean walked all the way to the end of the lot, munching on bacon. Castiel had been as annoying as hell, like having a kid sister and a know-it-all angel all wrapped into one. But it was so quiet with her gone.
For two weeks she’d been at his side almost every second, save for breaks to the bathroom. She’d kicked the back of his seat while he was driving. Her arm had flopped across his face when they were sleeping. She’d eaten his food. She’d told him he was wrong about something every five seconds and wouldn’t stop listening to Justin Bieber. She’d had a crush on Dean himself for all of a day, and it was probably the cutest thing that had ever happened to him.
She’d kept Zachariah from unleashing Lucifer and Hell on Earth. She’d saved all of them; even the little girl Lilith was possessing turned out to be fine. Traumatized for life, but she’d live. Her parents wouldn’t believe a word of her story, and then they’d send her to Kindergarten next year, just like all the other kids.
Dean wondered if he would’ve sent Castiel to school. She was human, so they would’ve had to come up with some kind of identity for her, but she had knowledge accumulated over millennia. They could’ve pretended to home school her, but maybe she would’ve wanted to go. To meet the other kids and paste pictures of pop stars on each other’s notebooks.
It didn’t merit thinking about, but Dean couldn’t stop thinking about it. She should’ve lived. If only there had been one angel who was on their side. Someone to come in and heal her. It wasn’t fair that Castiel had saved Dean from Hell and rebuilt him entirely, and yet he couldn’t protect Cas for even a month.
“Hey Dean,” someone said behind him.
“Bobby’s back now,” Dean said without turning around. “He can help you find what you want.”
“I wanted to find you.”
The man walked around to where Dean could see him.
It was Cas.
But it wasn’t Cas. The man in front of him was back in his trench coat and backwards tie, walking around looking like Jimmy Novak. His stupidly blue eyes sparkled when he grinned at Dean’s slack jawed expression.
“Castiel? You’re… You died.” Dean’s breath caught in his lungs, aching with hope that this could be real.
Castiel nodded.
“That was you that died.” He needed reassurance of this for some reason. The person he’d held in his arms was a ten-year-old girl.
“You kept me safe, Dean,” he said, and then did that adorable thing where he tilted his head just a little bit, and this was definitely, definitely Castiel. His eyes looked at him with more trust than anyone had had for him since Sam was eight.
Dean bit his lip, and looked away from Castiel, only realizing now that their eyes had been locked on one another. “I got you killed.”
“That depends upon how you look at it. Maybe you let me save you.”
Cas, who he never imagined getting to see again. Cas. But he wasn’t Cas Cas. He was that guy who Dean loved like a great friend. Like if Bobby were actually pretty mind blowingly attractive and full of cosmic angel power.
But he wasn’t the little girl. The Castiel who loved syrup and kept devising ways to get Sam to buy her Lisa Frank stickers and who kicked the back of his seat even in her sleep. He wasn’t the child Dean had grown to love the way he loved Sam, and his heart ached at that.
He searched those blue, blue eyes for a spark of what he’d begun to find familiar now. Searching for some quintessential Cas, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what it was. And Cas smiled. The way he’d never done before he’d fallen, and a smile Dean had never seen on this face. The grin split across his face the same was it had just before the little girl Cas was about to giggle.
Dean wanted to cry the way his heart pounded with relief and couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to touch the guy, if only just to prove he was real. This was Cas, his Cas, standing right in front of him, saying ridiculous things in that way that made them sound so incredibly important and it was Cas. And he’d always been the same Cas, just now complete with a whole new set of experiences. Dean grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. And surprisingly, Castiel’s arms reflexively wrapped around Dean. It was like they’d hugged before, but also like they hadn’t. Like meeting a new person and already feeling you’d known them all your life.
Dean was concerned suddenly, and pushed Castiel back, holding him at arms length away. “You don’t still have the hots for me, do you?”
“I’m an angel again. I don’t have ‘the hots’ for anyone.”
“Good,” said Dean, super relieved. Because, fine, the Jimmy vessel was hot, and Dean would’ve done filthy things with Castiel had the angel ever wanted, but now? Dean shook his head. He was completely uninterested. He still wanted to take Cas out for ice cream and order extra sprinkles for her… him.
“Wait. You’re an angel again?”
“I just came back to get my Bieber CDs, actually.”
Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm back around Castiel’s shoulders. He didn’t want to let go of him. He didn’t want to take the chance that he’d never see him again. He wanted to watch Disney Channel with him for hours on end until Sam got fed up and made them go to bed.
“How?” Dean asked.
Castiel’s eyebrows knit together. “I don’t know. I know this body was rebuilt, but Jimmy’s soul has remained free, as has Claire’s. I know both of them would prefer her body stay at rest. And I know I was a human when I died, so my soul died like a human soul. I awoke in the nearby woods and was again an angel. I do not know how or why.”
“Maybe it was a reward?”
Castiel laughed. It was weird, because Cas laughed all the time, but Dean had never heard him laugh as a grown man. He missed the shrill giggling of his Cas. “I’m glad to see you have hope again, Dean.”
“Hey, Sam made about a shit ton of bacon inside. You want some?”
“Do you have any maple syrup?”
Dean smiled and kissed Cas on the side of his head above his ear. “As much as you want,” he said. And no way that the Castiel Dean knew was gone, because he was right there next to him.
THE END.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | PDF | Art Masterlist | Soundtrack
Acknowledgements: I'm sort of in awe that I ever finished this at all, and the only reason I did is because of all the lovely people who helped me do it! Thank you so much to my beta readers psycocatgirl and maskedfangirl. You ladies are so awesome. Especially maskedfangirl, who by the misfortune of living with me, had to listen to me complain and fight with this fic for months on end. Also to everyone else I know IRL who had to listen to me... especially in my quest for a title!
And yay for lolryne who took this fic on despite already having a lot already on her plate. I'm so excited that others share my love of Clairestiel. <3