(no subject)
i wrote a letter today..it will never be given to him but here goes...
To you,
i am really happy for you. i am glad that she finally likes you and that you like her. im really glad that you guys will be happy together. you guys are cute together. i told you that i would be sad about you guys liking eachother, and ya i am, but in a way im happy. i can finally get over you like i have been trying for a year. ive tried to think of all the horrible things that you have done to me, but yet they make me attracted to you more? i know that is hard to understand but its the truth. maybe you will be nicer to me..or something? i have no idea. it may take time for me to get over you, but i will...eventually. i want you to know, that no matter what happens, i will always be your friend and be here if you need to talk. i want to be a person that you can talk to and i want you to be someone that i can talk to.
i was reading our old conversations yesterday after i got done talking to her and it brought tears to my eyes. just all of the sweet things you said to me and told me made me feel good again. and even though you wont ever be mine again, i know that your words will have been mine. the sweet things you said to me like "you looked beautiful tonight" or "im gonna kick his ass if he grabs you like that, i dont want any guy touching MY girl" just made my day. i remember when i use to be yours. but now she will probably be yours. and i wont interfere with it. i am really happy for you two and i want you to know that. i want you to be happy even if i am not..so i hope you and meg will be happy together, whenver you guys decide to date, and i hope that we will still be friends.
i will always love you,
Mankey
oh man its so hard. but im goin to have to deal with it. i dont want her to not date him because of me. i know that we will still be friends, but i also know that i will have a hint of jealousy bcuz she got him and not me. but if its meant to be, then fate will hand it to me. and i will gladly accept it. but for not, fate is not in my hands and its not in my favor, its in hers. i care about them both and i truly do wish them to be happy. love can conquer all things, just remember that rhett...if she starts to flirt with other guys, dont dump her without telling her how you feel. thats what you did with me and im still paying for that price. meg, just as i told you, he is a VERY jealous person and just be careful and don't get too attached bcuz he might end up breaking your heart. not trying to say that in a bad way, but he broke mine. and its still not "all there" yet.
braces off in 2 days..im happy. maybe a boy will actually like me w/o braces!