Oh, journalling. Don't be so needy.
Well.
I haven't updated in quite a while, mostly because we are required to journal for school, which is tedious. Partly because everyone reprimands me when I do put feelings into my posts, which is annoying. And a little because I miss being connected to you all, which is sad. :)
There is a lot of things I'd like to do other then what I'm attempting to. But it's so damn difficult to even choose one and go with it. I like to think that I think on the bright side of things, but there are time where I am annoyingly practical. How the heck can you even think about a family in the future when you won't make enough money to even support you? This is a difficult concept for me. Everyone always says to go for your dreams, but if they don't mesh with real life, what the fuck do you do? I'd love to do some other things then what I'm going to school for, but they are unpractical if I want to have a family. The only way that even comes into the picture is if I marry rich. Which is lame, because it's not the 1950's anymore ladies. We can make more bucks then the boys can now. So I guess you make do with what you can do now, and hope for the best in the future. I will do it, it just won't be now.
So I was further thinking about the little sister aspect and was a little freaked out when a passage from a book I was reading gave me a different view of it:
"Sorry pal...about the glamour girl stuff and the kidding. The crowd wouldn't be any fun if you grew up.Why, you're the balance wheel. You don't know it, but you keep the whole thing together and hold us down to the kid level that we need." -Star-Spangled Summer by Janet Lambert
This sobered my bitterness about the subject, even though it still irks me since I'm older then most of our group and that I am the big sister. I also still think because of this notion I get ignored a lot. But I guess I wouldn't fill the big sister role until I actually took care of the poor , helpless little boys who can't cook for themselves. :) BUt it's still damn freaky that it came out of nowhere. T_T
I went to my sister's band concert tonight (*gasp* I've betrayed our beloved high school and gone to a rival school's event!!!!! Sacreligious~!) and it reminded me strongly of high school and I became sentimental. I didn't realize that I missed high school at all. But I think it was more of how we were all togther everyday that I miss. Well, and the plays. But mostly the friend thing. We are so seperated right now, and I miss the days where we'd see each other everyday, sometimes all day. I miss some of the people I don't see anymore too, but you can;t keep everyone close.
I'm starting to regret doing something, but I can't back out now, because I'd look like a complete idiot. Stupid stupid stupid.
My sister has weird friends...and thankfully none of them are named Tyrell. And don't you say a word about this because I have banned jokes from being made on this topic.
I have realized people who you may think of being honest people really don't necessarily have to be. It definately opens up your eyes to things. A lot of people just get into a rut and beleive everything that people tell them and don't bother questioning it. This issue comes up at work a lot.
I am scared of getting fat, but despise working out unless it's a sport. What to do in the winter when you have no time to commit, a fridge full of yummy looking things, a fair amount of guilt and self-control? You wait for summer, buy a one-piece and hope for the best. :) <-----Aftyer I wrote this, I kind of laughed to myself and shook my head. I am so dumb sometimes, but I am going to keep it here to remind myself to stop being so silly.
So is everyone going to vote? Sometimes I think it's pointless.
Oh British comedy, you are so funny. And I'm not just refering to the state of the actor's teeth. Oooo. Burn. Tv burn. Yeah.
I talked to Sara and she wanted me to talk to a teacher at our old school because they are going to Costa Rica apparently. I do not have $2000 to spare, sorry. Unlike Sara, my mom is not a doctor that has a lot of money. And although they are going to go on a treetop tour of the rainforest and possibley help animals on the beaches, I cannot bring myself to spend my University money on a trip. And if I did, I'd go somewhere else first, because I have a long list of places to go.
I haven't been out wiht anyone from the group for a while, so going to Ashley's place for her birthday will be nice....if she even is going to her place. Whcih I still don't know because I don't know if Ashley has told anyone, and if she has I have not been informed....as usual.
I want to see Kronk's New Groove. I loved the first one.
I got FRICKIN' EIGHT PONIES AT VV TODAY! Damn straight! I was so sad to discover that one of them, with a sverely hacked mane and tail, plus drawn on eyelashes and eyebrows WAS A MAIL ORDER. I want to find that kid who did it and kick them. T_T She would be worth....*cries* but now she's.....*sniff*. I'm sorry, I'm a little upset about this. Children can me so destructive. which makes me wonder if destructive children turn into destructive adults that ruin the environment. A pony ruiner probably invented pollution. That's right. Invented pollution.
I have been writing a lot of my story lately, because even though I've recieved critcism about it, I will continue, even if for only my enjoyment. :) (everyone gets criticized, just gotta pull up yo socks and get back in it).
I want to go swimming. Who's with me?
-SoccerChicka, the Frenzied Journal Writer