if looks could kill.
a real entry.
I pledge to do atleast one a week, cause I miss the old me.
but the entries will include thoughts of the new me,
and you'll all be saying things like 'oh, she is SO college"
once i come to my senses and stop doing things half assed, my life will be that much greater. i'm lazy, i'm a procrastinator, i am the furthest from determined; and not to mention awkward.. truthfully, i was never anything above those, but things were much easier then. i.e.- i sit here now over 60 math problems awaiting me to complete by 3:00pm tommorow. you now realize where my priorites lay. i guess i'm that typical teen who knows they can do well if they just apply themselves, so why not just apply myself? to be honest, i have no fucking clue why. i think i failed my first mid-term today, although i did study; i obviously could of applied myself more. I do believe i'll cry tears of joy if i get a 70%. which might not be the greatest thing, because if my dad sees straight C's across the board, a semester abroad in England could quite possibly be out of the picture any time soon. ARGH. this is me rambling about the things i have an obvious solution to, but i dont know why i find it so hard. SHIP is really changing me. i think more. i've met people who make me think me. i've been in situations that made me think more. While home, i met the same people 1000 times and experienced the same things 1000 times. that's what south philly does to people. the mass army of bellas attacking the local bebe near you and the guidos following them. (steven appreciated that). but thats what south philly can do to a person. Philadelphia in general can provide you with the most amazing experiences and help you to form and open mind. But South Philly disables you culturally, and i'm glad i began to realize in highschool, freshman year how lame it actually was. (even though i get drunk and REPP Souf' filly Til' death, i still have these views that could kill). As insane as it may sound, all my views come from my musical interest at the time. if i never would of put my ja rule cds away, who knows where i would be right now? probably at 2nd and Jackson, with a 40z in my hand on a Monday night, attending the local community college, awaiting for some change. Even though i've grown to hate that music now, due to trendsters, the fashion scene along with it, and the new breed of footless tights; i still appreciate what it allowed me to become. this entry went nowhere i wanted it to go, but i like where it has come to. yet, im falling asleep at the screen.
forever she waited,
to see their eyes glance.
for she is stellar.
stellar i tell you,
..or thats what she believes.