á la Keh-shee-ah.

[socaptivated]

I'm trying not to freak out.
But life is making it
hard on me.
I'm trying to tell myself
that he won't say he doesn't want me.
I'm trying to be positive,
I'm trying to be honest.
And I'm so flipping scared that
I can't have both.
He was so detached sounding,
and he said he didn't know
if he WANTED to change,
to open up
so this would work.
I'm so scared.
I'm scared that everything
I've been so confident about all this time
could be so wrong.
I need a hug.
Maybe I need to cry some more.
And then I need to toughen up.
Because I'm going to be there for him,
even if he won't let me
be here for him.
I can love him from a distance,
if that's what he needs to keep him happy.
But I'm scared because I know
that won't make me happy at all.