"Death and Funerals"
A late night jog down Sunset Blvd sparked an avalanche of thoughts for me tonight. My playlist kept blaring through my iPod headphones, but i don't think I listened to a single song. So much has gone on the past few weeks. The biggest things being Maine and Ben, my mom's surgery, and my uncle's death. Of cancer. Even if you're slightly prepared for it, death is such an odd thing to face. We hear about it almost daily through the news or people we know, but it doesn't become absolutely real until you find yourself staring at the lifeless face of someone who is blood. You can't help but think of all the times you took them for granted. Not only that, but you are reminded of how much of a reality it is. Any day, any second, could be your last. Through a car crash, a food contamination, a freak accident... the list goes on. Life is way too short to waste it with petty nonsense or complaints. It is beautiful, no matter how many things we may think are wrong with our own lives. Millions of people out there have it way worse. Live like you haven't got much time left, and love like you don't know how to do anything else. Recently, in light of all of this, I've been trying to make those who are close to me feel loved. I'm bad at conveying sappy emotion sometimes, so it's a nice little refresher course in itself.
I had a discussion with my mom about funerals. I told her that I don't want one. Something about not seeing someone for years and then showing up because they've died just doesn't seem right to me. I know people say it's important to say goodbye, but I don't want a funeral. If you're going to see me one last time, make it when I'm alive. At least then I can see you over a nice meal, or tell you something that makes you smile. And if I see you all the time, I'd rather spare you the pain of looking at my dead body. I just want my body burned to ashes and scattered right away so I can be one with the earth. My mom says that despite my requests, if I die first (which will probably happen, because I'm pretty sure she is some sort of demi-god) she is going to have a funeral for me. I told her if she does that, I'll come back in spirit form and drag her by her feet out of her bed. I guess we'll see...
I had a discussion with my mom about funerals. I told her that I don't want one. Something about not seeing someone for years and then showing up because they've died just doesn't seem right to me. I know people say it's important to say goodbye, but I don't want a funeral. If you're going to see me one last time, make it when I'm alive. At least then I can see you over a nice meal, or tell you something that makes you smile. And if I see you all the time, I'd rather spare you the pain of looking at my dead body. I just want my body burned to ashes and scattered right away so I can be one with the earth. My mom says that despite my requests, if I die first (which will probably happen, because I'm pretty sure she is some sort of demi-god) she is going to have a funeral for me. I told her if she does that, I'll come back in spirit form and drag her by her feet out of her bed. I guess we'll see...