(no subject)
i just read shannons last update and it made me realize how good it would feel to bitch about some things. im really sick of people as well and im just sick of this year. i can't wait to graduate and regardless of whether i go to CNU or i go dance professionally, ill be getting the hell outa here and thats good enough for me. everyone here bugs me. like i said to shannon, im trying not to let people get to me but as far as im concerned it will just make it easier to say goodbye in june. like i appreciate the people who came and saw my nutcracker, it meant a lot. but some people made it seem like a chore and i just wanted to be like you kno what fuck off you shouldnt have come then. or like my "good friends" who forgot i was having surgery on monday. heyyy thanx guys. and i like how the only one who cared enough to come visit or even to call for that matter was courtney. i love that girl to death. we've gotten really close this year which is good because if i go to CNU next year she and i have decided to room together. we decided that if we didn't room together, we'd be hanging out all the time anyways so might as well just do it. the only issue we'll have is that im too much of a neat freak, but ill get over it. anyways, im just really sick of my friends and everyone. or like how kels and amanda are like best friends again and think that no one notices?? i mean, whatever, good for them...but i called it. i just have to say that. and they never call me or courtney ever...again. just like good old times. haha, i love it. but its whatever. thank god for good friends like court. i also really love the friends who tell me they're too busy to visit me while im in bed after surgery, thats cool. whatever.
im soo ready for it to be december 26...i just wana get christmas over with. its been too stressful that it doesn't even seem worth all the effort anymore. all the shopping, all the money, all the long lines, gahhh...whats the point?? my dad is really depressed because my brother's a little selfish asshole now and my dad doesn't even feel like doing christmas anymore. kinda hard to be up for it when your family is all fighting.
my birthday is january 3. im going to be 18. i always picture my 18th being really cool...you know, throwing a big party with all my friends. getting drunk...all that good stuff. having a blast and being really excited because WTF im an adult. but no, nothing. im not gona do anything. thats sooo not exciting. its like, that birthday you wait for forever...and nothing. im slightly disappointed. i really wanted to plan a big hotel party, thought it would be a blast. but that shit just snuck up on me! all of a sudden its in a little over a week...little late to plan any of that. ehh watever.
tonight me, court, and amanda exchanged christmas gifts. me and court got amanda a gift set of her favorite perfume and seasons 1 and 2 of simple life. me and amanda got court a vera bradley tote bag that she can use for school cuz she wanted one. they got me this cute coach purse im pretty excited about. its really cuute. it was really awkward though because kels came with amanda and i kept thinking about how one year ago, me and kels were realllly close and running around being santa to all our friends houses giving them gifts. how weird. last year she bought me "a cinderella story"...i love that movie. too cute.
ugh, senior year is way overrated. i wish life really was like a movie. i would fast forward to beach week and summer...and probably pause at some of the good points
me and brent are doing a lot better than before, no more big fights and such. im really excited about what i got him for christmas!! i would say it but chances are that he would read it so thats no bueno.
blahblah...enough bitching. time for a cigarette and then bed i suppose... 2 days til christmas. whoopi fucking dippie.
ps. a long time ago at a country concert i made brent promise he would quit smoking on my birthday because i had quit...well i didnt last very long so apparently we're both quitting on my birthday (or amandas which is 3 days after)...kinda sux. im not really up for quitting but whatever. it blows that as soon as im old enough to buy cigarettes, im supposed to quit. gay.