Notes on Marriage Part 2
Notes from Chapter 2 of Rabbi Pliskin's book, "Marriage":
- R'Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler said that the key to a successful marriage is for each partner to always try to make the other happy. But when one constantly makes demands of the other, happiness will not be theirs.
- Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, zt"l, of the Ponovezh Yeshiva said, "If you are going to do it anyway, you might as well do it with joy."
- Vilna Gaon: "A person who has mastered the attribute of appreciating what he has is in the same state & emotionally as high as the person who is inebriated during the height of the pleasure of a party."
- Remember and think of the pain and loneliness of being single, especially how an older single woman must feel, and be grateful always for your spouse.
- Midrash: "Serve your husband as if he were a king. For, if you will act toward him like his maid, he will act as if he were your servant, and will honor you like a queen. If, however, you try to dominate him, he will be your master, and you will be in his eyes like a maidservant."
- Even in the most difficult of times there is something for which to be grateful.
- Even if you aren't entirely happy with the person to whom you are married, at least treat him with the respect & kindness that you would a stranger.
- Love is giving.
- Mishlei 27:19: "As water reflects a face back to a face, so one's heart is reflected back to him by another." What you send out will come back to you. Talk & act with love & respect.
- How do we create love & respect for another person? Focus on their positive qualities & virtues.
- "Love is the pleasure of seeing the virtues of another person." - Rabbi Noach Weinberg
- List the 5 qualities you most admire & respect in your spouse & repeat them 10 times daily.
- You and your spouse are one. If you wouldn't get angry with yourself, don't get angry with your spouse.
- Before you are born, a divine voice calls out who you are to marry. The person you are married to was destined to be your partner for your ultimate benefit.