December 22nd
On Dec. 18, 2006, I posted the third chapter of Dreams Held Tight.
There are almost 15,000 words in the six chapters that I've written, thirty-seven pages of fic, and six more chapters to go.
Over a year later, I'm finally posting the fourth chapter. *headdesk*
Dreams Held Tight
...hold those things you most love close... for tomorrow, they may be gone.
Title: 04: If You Need It
Rating: Teen
Summary: If they had stopped when first told to, they wouldn't have been SG-1. The world wouldn't exist.
Chapter Four
-If You Need It-
‘It’s over.”
He was trying, trying so hard to hold onto whatever shreds of control and hope and self he had left.
It was like trying to catch a beam of moonlight.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Jackson. I’ve pulled every string, called in every favor…”
Now he knew why, walking into the Base this morning, it had felt like he was arriving at a funeral.
“Two months is a very long time.” Hammond stood on the opposite side of the room, watching him stare at the Stargate through the briefing room window.
We would have sacrificed anything to get you back; our hopes, our lives, our futures, our world.
Is that why this is so hard to hear?
“He’s been lost for longer.” Too much grief; too much shock. “Endora, P4R-948- what about ‘no man left behind’?”
Too many hopes being torn to pieces by a simple memo from the search director.
“I too do not understand why we are halting the search for General O’Neill.” No accusations in his words, his tone, his eyes; yet somehow, Teal’c managed to convey quite clearly that he thought they were doing the wrong thing.
Daniel sent him a grateful look.
Sam’s absence, going on a week, had weakened the SGC’s internal structure; no one else was willing to (openly) argue with Hammond.
“There’s nothing more we can do, gentlemen!”
Jackson looked at the Stargate once more, a heartfelt plea in every fiber of his body.
It remained silent.
Before Hammond could apologize for his frustrated outburst, Daniel turned and walked through the door; he was gone before the Base Commander realized it.
“Dr. Jackson!” When his commanding voice didn’t stop the archaeologist from leaving, the General sighed. “I am sorry. Teal’c, I’ve asked that an under-the-radar lookout be kept; should anything come up, I’ll find out about it. Jack is a good man; one of the best, and even though it’s been two months, I’m not putting it past him to walk back in through those doors and ask why the hell we’ve been sitting on our collective asses for so long.”
After a long moment the Jaffa nodded, giving Hammond a slight bow, and followed his teammate out the door, knowing that Daniel would already be in his lab.
“I don’t get it. We should have found him by now.” He began ranting the moment Teal’c entered his cluttered domain, seeking the release of anger, struggling to keep the full force of his despair in check. Back and forth, back and forth; the room was four strides long, and he paced across it in two.
“All we’ve been through, all the places we’ve gone to, all the crazy ass stunts we’ve pulled- he just vanishes. Like *that*. Into thin air. Why can’t we find him?”
“You are assuming that O’Neill is alive.” Teal’c said, very softly. Jackson’s head snapped up and bewildered, angry blue eyes stared uncomprehendingly at Teal’c. The Jaffa considered, for a moment, the strangeness of it all: what they had been through had shown them a crueler reality than anyone could have ever guessed, and yet Daniel still clung to the safety of naivety, the wonder of innocence.
“You don’t mean that.”
“No. I do not. But it is a possibility; had O’Neill not been compromised in some way, we would have surely found him by now.”
His words were scarce comfort for Daniel, who dropped his head in his hands and pressed his palms against his eyes.
“It’s just a planet. One planet. We’ve found people in other galaxies, for Christ’s sake. Why the hell can’t we find him on one fucking planet?”
Teal’c waited, allowing his teammate the chance to pick up the torn shards of his dignity and put his glasses back on, eyes red but unclouded by tears.
“We have yet to seek out and find all of the rogue NID agents and former Trust operatives. Perhaps one of them will hold an answer to your question, DanielJackson.”
“I know, I know, it’s just…”
“Hard. Indeed. But I believe someone once said, ‘Beyond the mountains there are mountains again’. We must make it, DanielJackson. Both O’Neill and ColonelCarter are depending on us.”
Daniel nodded, taking a deep breath.
“Sorry.”
“Do not apologize. This has been hard on everyone, and it will not be any easier in the future. Were ColonelCarter here, I believe she would tell you to go home and rest. It would be sound advice.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Teal’c.”
“You are most welcome.”
And he was reminded that, while you couldn’t capture it, hold it, lock it away in the darkness forever…
The light of the moon was always there.
-
Closing the apartment door with a nudge, Teal’c set the grocery bag down on the counter and took out the eggs, putting them carefully in the refrigerator. Past experience had taught him that leaving them out for several days was not the best way to keep them fresh, and if he wanted omelettes instead of leftovers for breakfast, it was best to store them quickly.
Finished with that, he lifted out the latest purchase from the candle store and tucked the receipt into a drawer stuffed full with others. Spread A Little Light and it’s employees were very fond of him; seeing as he was their best customer, it was no surprise.
But the candle wasn’t simply decorative. He had also learned that the heat from its flame produced a distortion in most camera films, rendering any cameras in his apartment useless. Once Sam had isolated the specific ingredient in the wax that produced such an effect, he had gone and bought thirty of the candles made with it- even before O’Neill had disappeared.
As an added bonus, any thermal imaging systems were, as Jack had eloquently put it, ‘royally screwed’.
A hint of a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he lit the candle, placing it on the stand beside the window and drawing the light curtains shut. Dusk was the best time for kel’no’reeming, for over the years since ‘Junior’ had been removed, he had developed a tendency to fall asleep when attempting to reach the meditative state.
Having done everything that needed to be done, Teal’c settled down on the floor and closed his eyes.
Minutes, or perhaps hours later, his eyes opened. There was a subtle, high pitched whining coming from several locations in his apartment. A normal human would not have been able to hear them; however, the Jaffa was anything but ‘normal’.
Someone had broken into his apartment, albeit very neatly because he hadn’t seen any signs of an intruder, and installed spy cameras.
He considered his options.
Should he choose to, he could dismantle the devices and send a clear message to the watchers: I know you; I know what you’re doing.
It was also feasible that he could simply continue acting as if he did no know they were there, and thus give himself an edge of surprise over the enemy.
But either way, he would still be chained to the SGC- still be vulnerable, for they would be watching his every move.
Unless…
A grim smile spread across his statue-like features.
…they couldn’t watch.
Letting himself slip into sleep, Teal’c made a mental list of what he would need to gather- and who he would need to warn.
-
“Hello? Hello? This thing on?”
Pause
“Daniel, pick up the damn phone. I know you’re there…”
Click
“What is it, Jack?”
“Anything interesting happen lately?”
“…Jack, you just called. Ten minutes ago.”
“…your point?”
“I have work to do, as foreign a concept as that may be to you. Having to entertain a General with the mentality of a six-year-old is not helping.”
“Daniel, you’ve finally grown a backbone! I applaud you.”
“…more like an aching head, Jack.”
“Back to the question: anything happen lately?”
“…in ten minutes? That would be a new record, even for the SGC.”
Faintly:
“Oh. Damn.”
Daniel glanced at the phone suspiciously.
“What did you do?”
“Me? Nothing.”
“Jack-”
“Look, just go tell Carter she had better shut down whatever it is she’s working on, cut the main power, and alert Hammond that… something’s… coming.”
“What’s coming?”
“…let’s just say I sent the French Ambassador your way.”
“You didn’t.”
“…why not?”
“I have to go.”
Click.
Chuckle.
“Sir, you realize they’re not going to appreciate your thoughtfulness?”
“Once the man explains his reasoning of why the Stargate should be in France, I’m sure they will. Now, who do I need to redirect in the next fifteen minutes? Quick, Clarissa- I have a plane to catch.”
“Sir?”
“I’m not going to miss the fireworks.”
“…you’re going to be the one starting them, sir.”
“Ex-actly.”
Sigh
“No one. I… guessed you’d be doing something of the sort and left the next five hours open.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sir.”
“…off to see the Wizard… the wonderful Wizard of Oz…”
-
Two beers, three steaks, one Caesar salad and half an hour into dinner, Daniel and Teal’c had managed to figure out a plan. Of course, they had had to use the coded speech which any SGC member learned to speak when in public and discussing their jobs. It had worked surprisingly well, however, and they were both confident that any observers had been fooled.
“Dr. Jackson, Murray?” Hal stood next to their table, a silent question in his eyes. After a moment Daniel put a strained grin on his lips and pulled up a chair.
“Hal- have a seat. Didn’t know you ate at O’Malley’s.”
“You don’t have to pretend, Dr. Jackson.” The Major’s voice was quiet, and held a measure of strength that the other two hadn’t heard before. He sat down in the offered seat, appearing to not see the startled look Daniel shot Teal’c. “And I didn’t know you were still allowed in.”
Trying to determine exactly what Hal was getting to, the Jaffa didn’t respond to the friendlier tone.
“Do you need something, MajorBrooks?”
“No- not really.” He almost smiled. “You two have things under control without me offering my help.”
“Your… help?” Clearly suspicious, Daniel idly moved the beer farther away from his plate.
“In finding what you lost. I would, but I’d probably get in the way. I just wanted to let you know that my associates are getting… worried.” His kind face hardened, a hint of hatred lingering on the edges of his mask.
“…’worried’.”
“They’re not the ones who took what was lost; I know that much. But whether or not they actually did, the NID is still taking advantage of the opening to get what it wants. What concerns them is that they don’t know who is pulling the strings; they want to find out and eliminate the competition. Quickly.” He stopped as a waiter paused, asking if he wanted something to drink. Shaking his head, the Major waited until she was out of earshot to continue.
“They’re also betting that you two know, and are withholding information from me for your own reasons. Obviously, they don’t think I’ve told you- or that you figured it out first.”
Now Teal’c and Daniel were watching him with a wary apprehension, because this was a completely different person than the Hal Brooks they had known before. For some reason, the other man was revealing his hand- and that made them suspicious.
“What do you mean, we figured it out-“
“Please, Daniel. I don’t have that much time, and playing dumb isn’t going to help Sam or Jack.” The words were cutting, but the tone was gentle. “So they’re going to come after you with everything they have. It’s quite a bit, actually. My own… acquaintances in the organization say that your contact, Agent Barrett, could possibly be in trouble for associating with you. After all that he’s done for you, I thought you might want to know.
“And if I don’t see you again- best of luck.”
He started to get up.
“Hal- how’d you-“
“Realize what you were doing?” Again, that strange, sad smile. “The supplies Sam managed to ‘pilfer’ from the Infirmary are kept under lock-and-key 24/7. At least three of the weapons that went missing from the Armory are virtually impossible to steal without Command Central noticing. A technician’s ‘slip’ ‘accidentally’ deleted the Gate address she dialed off of P3X-214 from the DHD. The little things, really.”
He paused.
“Although I still haven’t figured out how she managed to rig the Tok’ra device…”
Giving them both nods, he pushed the chair out and turned, heading out the door. Before the lights lost him completely, Hal threw a loose salute… and vanished into the dark.
01: A Beginning / 02: Bidding Time / 03: Vanishing Act
There are almost 15,000 words in the six chapters that I've written, thirty-seven pages of fic, and six more chapters to go.
Over a year later, I'm finally posting the fourth chapter. *headdesk*
Dreams Held Tight
...hold those things you most love close... for tomorrow, they may be gone.
Title: 04: If You Need It
Rating: Teen
Summary: If they had stopped when first told to, they wouldn't have been SG-1. The world wouldn't exist.
Chapter Four
-If You Need It-
‘It’s over.”
He was trying, trying so hard to hold onto whatever shreds of control and hope and self he had left.
It was like trying to catch a beam of moonlight.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Jackson. I’ve pulled every string, called in every favor…”
Now he knew why, walking into the Base this morning, it had felt like he was arriving at a funeral.
“Two months is a very long time.” Hammond stood on the opposite side of the room, watching him stare at the Stargate through the briefing room window.
We would have sacrificed anything to get you back; our hopes, our lives, our futures, our world.
Is that why this is so hard to hear?
“He’s been lost for longer.” Too much grief; too much shock. “Endora, P4R-948- what about ‘no man left behind’?”
Too many hopes being torn to pieces by a simple memo from the search director.
“I too do not understand why we are halting the search for General O’Neill.” No accusations in his words, his tone, his eyes; yet somehow, Teal’c managed to convey quite clearly that he thought they were doing the wrong thing.
Daniel sent him a grateful look.
Sam’s absence, going on a week, had weakened the SGC’s internal structure; no one else was willing to (openly) argue with Hammond.
“There’s nothing more we can do, gentlemen!”
Jackson looked at the Stargate once more, a heartfelt plea in every fiber of his body.
It remained silent.
Before Hammond could apologize for his frustrated outburst, Daniel turned and walked through the door; he was gone before the Base Commander realized it.
“Dr. Jackson!” When his commanding voice didn’t stop the archaeologist from leaving, the General sighed. “I am sorry. Teal’c, I’ve asked that an under-the-radar lookout be kept; should anything come up, I’ll find out about it. Jack is a good man; one of the best, and even though it’s been two months, I’m not putting it past him to walk back in through those doors and ask why the hell we’ve been sitting on our collective asses for so long.”
After a long moment the Jaffa nodded, giving Hammond a slight bow, and followed his teammate out the door, knowing that Daniel would already be in his lab.
“I don’t get it. We should have found him by now.” He began ranting the moment Teal’c entered his cluttered domain, seeking the release of anger, struggling to keep the full force of his despair in check. Back and forth, back and forth; the room was four strides long, and he paced across it in two.
“All we’ve been through, all the places we’ve gone to, all the crazy ass stunts we’ve pulled- he just vanishes. Like *that*. Into thin air. Why can’t we find him?”
“You are assuming that O’Neill is alive.” Teal’c said, very softly. Jackson’s head snapped up and bewildered, angry blue eyes stared uncomprehendingly at Teal’c. The Jaffa considered, for a moment, the strangeness of it all: what they had been through had shown them a crueler reality than anyone could have ever guessed, and yet Daniel still clung to the safety of naivety, the wonder of innocence.
“You don’t mean that.”
“No. I do not. But it is a possibility; had O’Neill not been compromised in some way, we would have surely found him by now.”
His words were scarce comfort for Daniel, who dropped his head in his hands and pressed his palms against his eyes.
“It’s just a planet. One planet. We’ve found people in other galaxies, for Christ’s sake. Why the hell can’t we find him on one fucking planet?”
Teal’c waited, allowing his teammate the chance to pick up the torn shards of his dignity and put his glasses back on, eyes red but unclouded by tears.
“We have yet to seek out and find all of the rogue NID agents and former Trust operatives. Perhaps one of them will hold an answer to your question, DanielJackson.”
“I know, I know, it’s just…”
“Hard. Indeed. But I believe someone once said, ‘Beyond the mountains there are mountains again’. We must make it, DanielJackson. Both O’Neill and ColonelCarter are depending on us.”
Daniel nodded, taking a deep breath.
“Sorry.”
“Do not apologize. This has been hard on everyone, and it will not be any easier in the future. Were ColonelCarter here, I believe she would tell you to go home and rest. It would be sound advice.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Teal’c.”
“You are most welcome.”
And he was reminded that, while you couldn’t capture it, hold it, lock it away in the darkness forever…
The light of the moon was always there.
-
Closing the apartment door with a nudge, Teal’c set the grocery bag down on the counter and took out the eggs, putting them carefully in the refrigerator. Past experience had taught him that leaving them out for several days was not the best way to keep them fresh, and if he wanted omelettes instead of leftovers for breakfast, it was best to store them quickly.
Finished with that, he lifted out the latest purchase from the candle store and tucked the receipt into a drawer stuffed full with others. Spread A Little Light and it’s employees were very fond of him; seeing as he was their best customer, it was no surprise.
But the candle wasn’t simply decorative. He had also learned that the heat from its flame produced a distortion in most camera films, rendering any cameras in his apartment useless. Once Sam had isolated the specific ingredient in the wax that produced such an effect, he had gone and bought thirty of the candles made with it- even before O’Neill had disappeared.
As an added bonus, any thermal imaging systems were, as Jack had eloquently put it, ‘royally screwed’.
A hint of a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he lit the candle, placing it on the stand beside the window and drawing the light curtains shut. Dusk was the best time for kel’no’reeming, for over the years since ‘Junior’ had been removed, he had developed a tendency to fall asleep when attempting to reach the meditative state.
Having done everything that needed to be done, Teal’c settled down on the floor and closed his eyes.
Minutes, or perhaps hours later, his eyes opened. There was a subtle, high pitched whining coming from several locations in his apartment. A normal human would not have been able to hear them; however, the Jaffa was anything but ‘normal’.
Someone had broken into his apartment, albeit very neatly because he hadn’t seen any signs of an intruder, and installed spy cameras.
He considered his options.
Should he choose to, he could dismantle the devices and send a clear message to the watchers: I know you; I know what you’re doing.
It was also feasible that he could simply continue acting as if he did no know they were there, and thus give himself an edge of surprise over the enemy.
But either way, he would still be chained to the SGC- still be vulnerable, for they would be watching his every move.
Unless…
A grim smile spread across his statue-like features.
…they couldn’t watch.
Letting himself slip into sleep, Teal’c made a mental list of what he would need to gather- and who he would need to warn.
-
“Hello? Hello? This thing on?”
Pause
“Daniel, pick up the damn phone. I know you’re there…”
Click
“What is it, Jack?”
“Anything interesting happen lately?”
“…Jack, you just called. Ten minutes ago.”
“…your point?”
“I have work to do, as foreign a concept as that may be to you. Having to entertain a General with the mentality of a six-year-old is not helping.”
“Daniel, you’ve finally grown a backbone! I applaud you.”
“…more like an aching head, Jack.”
“Back to the question: anything happen lately?”
“…in ten minutes? That would be a new record, even for the SGC.”
Faintly:
“Oh. Damn.”
Daniel glanced at the phone suspiciously.
“What did you do?”
“Me? Nothing.”
“Jack-”
“Look, just go tell Carter she had better shut down whatever it is she’s working on, cut the main power, and alert Hammond that… something’s… coming.”
“What’s coming?”
“…let’s just say I sent the French Ambassador your way.”
“You didn’t.”
“…why not?”
“I have to go.”
Click.
Chuckle.
“Sir, you realize they’re not going to appreciate your thoughtfulness?”
“Once the man explains his reasoning of why the Stargate should be in France, I’m sure they will. Now, who do I need to redirect in the next fifteen minutes? Quick, Clarissa- I have a plane to catch.”
“Sir?”
“I’m not going to miss the fireworks.”
“…you’re going to be the one starting them, sir.”
“Ex-actly.”
Sigh
“No one. I… guessed you’d be doing something of the sort and left the next five hours open.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sir.”
“…off to see the Wizard… the wonderful Wizard of Oz…”
-
Two beers, three steaks, one Caesar salad and half an hour into dinner, Daniel and Teal’c had managed to figure out a plan. Of course, they had had to use the coded speech which any SGC member learned to speak when in public and discussing their jobs. It had worked surprisingly well, however, and they were both confident that any observers had been fooled.
“Dr. Jackson, Murray?” Hal stood next to their table, a silent question in his eyes. After a moment Daniel put a strained grin on his lips and pulled up a chair.
“Hal- have a seat. Didn’t know you ate at O’Malley’s.”
“You don’t have to pretend, Dr. Jackson.” The Major’s voice was quiet, and held a measure of strength that the other two hadn’t heard before. He sat down in the offered seat, appearing to not see the startled look Daniel shot Teal’c. “And I didn’t know you were still allowed in.”
Trying to determine exactly what Hal was getting to, the Jaffa didn’t respond to the friendlier tone.
“Do you need something, MajorBrooks?”
“No- not really.” He almost smiled. “You two have things under control without me offering my help.”
“Your… help?” Clearly suspicious, Daniel idly moved the beer farther away from his plate.
“In finding what you lost. I would, but I’d probably get in the way. I just wanted to let you know that my associates are getting… worried.” His kind face hardened, a hint of hatred lingering on the edges of his mask.
“…’worried’.”
“They’re not the ones who took what was lost; I know that much. But whether or not they actually did, the NID is still taking advantage of the opening to get what it wants. What concerns them is that they don’t know who is pulling the strings; they want to find out and eliminate the competition. Quickly.” He stopped as a waiter paused, asking if he wanted something to drink. Shaking his head, the Major waited until she was out of earshot to continue.
“They’re also betting that you two know, and are withholding information from me for your own reasons. Obviously, they don’t think I’ve told you- or that you figured it out first.”
Now Teal’c and Daniel were watching him with a wary apprehension, because this was a completely different person than the Hal Brooks they had known before. For some reason, the other man was revealing his hand- and that made them suspicious.
“What do you mean, we figured it out-“
“Please, Daniel. I don’t have that much time, and playing dumb isn’t going to help Sam or Jack.” The words were cutting, but the tone was gentle. “So they’re going to come after you with everything they have. It’s quite a bit, actually. My own… acquaintances in the organization say that your contact, Agent Barrett, could possibly be in trouble for associating with you. After all that he’s done for you, I thought you might want to know.
“And if I don’t see you again- best of luck.”
He started to get up.
“Hal- how’d you-“
“Realize what you were doing?” Again, that strange, sad smile. “The supplies Sam managed to ‘pilfer’ from the Infirmary are kept under lock-and-key 24/7. At least three of the weapons that went missing from the Armory are virtually impossible to steal without Command Central noticing. A technician’s ‘slip’ ‘accidentally’ deleted the Gate address she dialed off of P3X-214 from the DHD. The little things, really.”
He paused.
“Although I still haven’t figured out how she managed to rig the Tok’ra device…”
Giving them both nods, he pushed the chair out and turned, heading out the door. Before the lights lost him completely, Hal threw a loose salute… and vanished into the dark.
01: A Beginning / 02: Bidding Time / 03: Vanishing Act