About how I'm not sure what I want.
The other day I spoke to Maxi about how things are going with Kai. I expressed my frustration by her teasing attitude and then I went on a rant about what is it that I want from her. I want sex. No, I want a relationship. I don’t care. I care.
So when we spent practically the entire day together yesterday I realized that I haven’t thought this thing through and that my frustration comes from, not only Kai’s behavior, but from also my own. I haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time. Now I have an opportunity to start a relationship with a girl significantly younger than I am (who also, as it turns out, may be more experienced than I am) and I’m still battling between what is it that I want from her. Do I want to sleep with her and make it a sporting event or do I really dare want to get to know her and give a relationship a try? Since my slightly premature (failed) attempt on Friday evening, her apology and Sunday plans, I’ve decided to let her be the one to make the next move. And even though she announced a move to take place yesterday, nothing significant changed besides the fact that we talked and we shared a few things about ourselves.
She doesn’t know how to ride a bike - I can’t swim.
She adores roses - I adore tulips.
She lost her parents when she was young - My sister suffers from Syndrome West.
She’s afraid of bugs, heights and dentists - I’m terrified of bees and anything else with a sting.
She has a psycho ex girlfriend who doesn’t know how to take a clue - I’m everyone’s therapist.
Her entire family is severely homophobic - Mine doesn’t seem to be, but I do not intend to find out any time soon.
Her favorite color is (toxic) green - My guilty pleasure is Britney Spears’ music.
She looks amazing in jeans and a belly tee - She likes when I wear my glasses.
She is of Czech descent - I am of Hungarian/Polish.
She cried like a little kid while watching Rent - So have I.
And a lot more, little details about character, views on relationships and such. The truth is, I like spending time with her and she seems to like spending it with me. The only question here is could we maintain a relationship beyond of what we have now and if so, for how long before one of us breaks the other one's heart?
So when we spent practically the entire day together yesterday I realized that I haven’t thought this thing through and that my frustration comes from, not only Kai’s behavior, but from also my own. I haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time. Now I have an opportunity to start a relationship with a girl significantly younger than I am (who also, as it turns out, may be more experienced than I am) and I’m still battling between what is it that I want from her. Do I want to sleep with her and make it a sporting event or do I really dare want to get to know her and give a relationship a try? Since my slightly premature (failed) attempt on Friday evening, her apology and Sunday plans, I’ve decided to let her be the one to make the next move. And even though she announced a move to take place yesterday, nothing significant changed besides the fact that we talked and we shared a few things about ourselves.
She doesn’t know how to ride a bike - I can’t swim.
She adores roses - I adore tulips.
She lost her parents when she was young - My sister suffers from Syndrome West.
She’s afraid of bugs, heights and dentists - I’m terrified of bees and anything else with a sting.
She has a psycho ex girlfriend who doesn’t know how to take a clue - I’m everyone’s therapist.
Her entire family is severely homophobic - Mine doesn’t seem to be, but I do not intend to find out any time soon.
Her favorite color is (toxic) green - My guilty pleasure is Britney Spears’ music.
She looks amazing in jeans and a belly tee - She likes when I wear my glasses.
She is of Czech descent - I am of Hungarian/Polish.
She cried like a little kid while watching Rent - So have I.
And a lot more, little details about character, views on relationships and such. The truth is, I like spending time with her and she seems to like spending it with me. The only question here is could we maintain a relationship beyond of what we have now and if so, for how long before one of us breaks the other one's heart?