(no subject)
well all, I have moved out of my parents house.. how big of a move I don't really know. I am living with devin and his parents. So yeah I still have adult supervision but not like it was at all with my father. if i had a car id be able to be out and about a lot more. but for the time being I am still relying on devin for most of my chauffeuring. In which I am greatly appreciative of. I can tell, or at least I can feel that he grows tired of constantly helping me out but I am trying everything I know to find a new car. I am still working with O'Reillys just out in Lenior. I like it a lot better then Drexel store, I feel free to be more like myself then I had been, Also the store is alot easier to just relax in. My baby brother will be 7 on sunday.. hes growing up for sure... And I most certainly dread the upcoming holidays. I'm not sure how any of my family will be, we all still feel Adams loss. I haven't been able to go to my uncles since the funeral. I know its wrong to hide, but how can you face it?? how do they face it. living and waking up knowing he should be there to yell at and argue with and goof off with and just enjoy. It's been almost 5 months since the accident it doesn't feel like hes gone no matter how well I know the truth.. A part of myself and my family still expect him to saunter through the front door with his goofy lil grin on and say something that would have us all rolling.. (fore any of you who know how my family was), We have always been our favorite company. No one can get us to laugh as hard or goof off so much as that in which we do when we are with one another. We loved getting together for absolutly no reason; but now yes we are all growing up and our schedules are hard to mesh together, however thats never stop the family. After Adam it feels as though we avoid it all together. Afraid to realize, afraid to remember, afraid to be faced with one another and the pains we face with having to deal with the reality that a part of our clan has been wrongfully plucked from a family that finds its greater strength from one another. It is said that time heals all wounds, but this one does heal yet it is reopened every-time the family is together. What once was a family of completeness, that when in trouble looked within the family for truth and that crutch that always helped regain the footing needed is now shattered. We no longer can look to each other and pull the strength we once had, Our house of cards is missing its foundation and is tormented by the wind that rocks our house. I fear that the house is falling