Thoughts become things
Lately I have been feeling terribly isolated. I work alone during the day and have little interaction at night with Maurice. He is too exhausted to talk, and basically wants to shut down completely when he gets home. I can't blame him though, he works a 12 to 14 hour day on average.
I believe in the law of attraction, I know it is important to have positive happy thoughts all the time so that you will attract the good things to you. However it is a real struggle because I suffer from real depression and have no health insurance . So, it is very difficult to keep good thoughts in my head, sometimes. I have, over the last few months been struggling more and more with feelings of being isolated and feeling like no one is communicating with me. I haven't shared some really scary problems that I am having right now with anyone because I don't feel like anyone has the time for me. I can't blame them, I get sick of me too, sometimes. I recently was betrayed badly and am very hurt. And I think the problem is far worse than I have been lead to believe.
Well all those thoughts have manifested themselves into reality. I have had important mail and correspondence get lost or never received. Which has now really hurt someone I care about. Important emails are missing. My cell phone died a horrible death and the SIM card is not reading correctly. On Monday, the city sent out notices that water and electricity will be randomly shut off during the week for maintenance. So, no email, no tv, no radio, no phone. Then the house across the street has had the road blocked off for an earthquake retrofit. So, I have to change my train of thought and get out of this funk. I just don't know how. My mother always said to me, "this crap only happens to you, Roxanne." A statement which makes the added assumption that I am exaggerating or lying. It just isn't true.
I feel like muddy water is constantly being poured over my head and I can't see where to go.
I believe in the law of attraction, I know it is important to have positive happy thoughts all the time so that you will attract the good things to you. However it is a real struggle because I suffer from real depression and have no health insurance . So, it is very difficult to keep good thoughts in my head, sometimes. I have, over the last few months been struggling more and more with feelings of being isolated and feeling like no one is communicating with me. I haven't shared some really scary problems that I am having right now with anyone because I don't feel like anyone has the time for me. I can't blame them, I get sick of me too, sometimes. I recently was betrayed badly and am very hurt. And I think the problem is far worse than I have been lead to believe.
Well all those thoughts have manifested themselves into reality. I have had important mail and correspondence get lost or never received. Which has now really hurt someone I care about. Important emails are missing. My cell phone died a horrible death and the SIM card is not reading correctly. On Monday, the city sent out notices that water and electricity will be randomly shut off during the week for maintenance. So, no email, no tv, no radio, no phone. Then the house across the street has had the road blocked off for an earthquake retrofit. So, I have to change my train of thought and get out of this funk. I just don't know how. My mother always said to me, "this crap only happens to you, Roxanne." A statement which makes the added assumption that I am exaggerating or lying. It just isn't true.
I feel like muddy water is constantly being poured over my head and I can't see where to go.