Fear...
I'm scared.
I could go on a rant about a lot of things around the whole CAFTA shit that's happening, but the bottomline is, the undefiable truth is, that I'm scared.
There's far too much more involved here than just the CAFTA.
I'm a liberal, and I'm not afraid to say so. But I am so, because I live my life in the belief that freedom is one of the quintesential needs to live life.
I don't know if my fear of comunism and socialism is a feeling of youth, or an essential need of my spirit and the way I live my life.
But I can't live in comunism. I can't even begin.. I don't want to even begin to think about life... Life as it is in Venezuela, or Cuba... I can't, can't imagien the feeling of being forced to leave all your life behind you in a country that used to be yours simply because you can't live it any longer!
I can't imagine the sheer terror that Venezuela felt the morning they woke up to find that the government had confiscated all their bank accounts.
I can't ... I don't... I've always wanted to leave Costa Rica. But not forever. And.. it's very different to think that you will go outside to a foreign country to live an experience, to learn, to see new things and meet new people. But with the knowledge that there's a place where you come from, and which will always be there for you to return to.
I'm very scared.
Because even if I don't want to, I can't help but fear that there won't be any other chance for me if this doesn't happen today.
I've cried many tears already. I held my mum's hand and promised that I would go out and find a job and make a life and do my best to take her out too. But I don't want any of that to be my reality!
I don't want to keep imagining these things. I don't want this painful fear in my heart!
The idea of leaving without the hope of return is so painful! So incredibly painful. The thought, of having to abandon your life, and family and friends ... The fear, of going somewhere unknown, with the burden of responsibility... feeling like you're seeking for desperate shelter because you can't find any where you came from..... The thought of being alone in a foreign place, of having to build up a new life and a new sense of freedom out of the scars from the past. It's all too painful.
But the idea of no longer living a life that is my own... of no longer having an actual place to call home, because the remorseless ideas from a dead philosophy have been renewed in the head of a crazy man in Venezuela. The idea that my home was also overpowered by the lies and the devils that they've tricked into the minds and hearts of people....
That is more painful.
I'm going out to vote... And I hope I won't cry anymore. But I'm not sure I can stop crying... because when I think of what will happen if the CAFTA isn't taken in today, all I can think about is the feeling of how I promised my sister, too, that I would do whatever it would take to put us all out of the hell that is to come.
I feel like I desperately need a hug...
Here's some news on this, if you feel disoriented:
http://www.heritage.org/Research/TradeandForeignAid/wm1656.cfm
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1005/p06s02-woam.html
And the rest of the actual scenario:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/01/world/americas/01costarica.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/07/world/americas/07costa.html
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/world/AP-Costa-Rica-US-Free-Trade.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Would you pray for us? Cause I think we all need some praying right now.
I could go on a rant about a lot of things around the whole CAFTA shit that's happening, but the bottomline is, the undefiable truth is, that I'm scared.
There's far too much more involved here than just the CAFTA.
I'm a liberal, and I'm not afraid to say so. But I am so, because I live my life in the belief that freedom is one of the quintesential needs to live life.
I don't know if my fear of comunism and socialism is a feeling of youth, or an essential need of my spirit and the way I live my life.
But I can't live in comunism. I can't even begin.. I don't want to even begin to think about life... Life as it is in Venezuela, or Cuba... I can't, can't imagien the feeling of being forced to leave all your life behind you in a country that used to be yours simply because you can't live it any longer!
I can't imagine the sheer terror that Venezuela felt the morning they woke up to find that the government had confiscated all their bank accounts.
I can't ... I don't... I've always wanted to leave Costa Rica. But not forever. And.. it's very different to think that you will go outside to a foreign country to live an experience, to learn, to see new things and meet new people. But with the knowledge that there's a place where you come from, and which will always be there for you to return to.
I'm very scared.
Because even if I don't want to, I can't help but fear that there won't be any other chance for me if this doesn't happen today.
I've cried many tears already. I held my mum's hand and promised that I would go out and find a job and make a life and do my best to take her out too. But I don't want any of that to be my reality!
I don't want to keep imagining these things. I don't want this painful fear in my heart!
The idea of leaving without the hope of return is so painful! So incredibly painful. The thought, of having to abandon your life, and family and friends ... The fear, of going somewhere unknown, with the burden of responsibility... feeling like you're seeking for desperate shelter because you can't find any where you came from..... The thought of being alone in a foreign place, of having to build up a new life and a new sense of freedom out of the scars from the past. It's all too painful.
But the idea of no longer living a life that is my own... of no longer having an actual place to call home, because the remorseless ideas from a dead philosophy have been renewed in the head of a crazy man in Venezuela. The idea that my home was also overpowered by the lies and the devils that they've tricked into the minds and hearts of people....
That is more painful.
I'm going out to vote... And I hope I won't cry anymore. But I'm not sure I can stop crying... because when I think of what will happen if the CAFTA isn't taken in today, all I can think about is the feeling of how I promised my sister, too, that I would do whatever it would take to put us all out of the hell that is to come.
I feel like I desperately need a hug...
Here's some news on this, if you feel disoriented:
http://www.heritage.org/Research/TradeandForeignAid/wm1656.cfm
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1005/p06s02-woam.html
And the rest of the actual scenario:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/01/world/americas/01costarica.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/07/world/americas/07costa.html
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/world/AP-Costa-Rica-US-Free-Trade.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Would you pray for us? Cause I think we all need some praying right now.