i know i know i know....... but... what if.......
So I know that in my heart we can't change people we can only change ourselves and our reactions to others.
So seriously what the fuck is up with my constant hope that the dudes in my life will hold true to their promises? Or the past dudes for this matter.... I think it all began many many moon's ago when Bob first promised me a pony...People may tell you what you want to hear but in the end or the next twenty four years or so the lesson is so much more painful than the truth. In a sense I have been looking for someone to fill that void that Robert left me with years and years ago. I have been looking for a guy that will restore my faith in the fact that they just might fucking show up or pull through on their half of the deal. This really is nothing new. Only it is sad that this girl has been waiting and waiting and continues allowing people to restore her faith and disappoint her time and time again. So why in the world is it going to be different this time?
Because the only thing I can change is how I care. To be honest I have absolutely no control over that at the moment so I guess he is just going to have to take a number and I will have to get to him when I am well and ready. Who knows, maybe I will finally get myself the fucking pony? I would have then solved the pony problem but I know there are countless others that seem to be in the line.... Just waiting to be resolved.
I just see such.....potential in my heart that I want so badly for it to be true. It isn't true though and that is the truth I need to tell myself cause in the end no one else is going to offer me that information...
so dude... you efforts are lame... I am over it. I believe that is why I walked away in the first place.
xoxo
sarah jean
So seriously what the fuck is up with my constant hope that the dudes in my life will hold true to their promises? Or the past dudes for this matter.... I think it all began many many moon's ago when Bob first promised me a pony...People may tell you what you want to hear but in the end or the next twenty four years or so the lesson is so much more painful than the truth. In a sense I have been looking for someone to fill that void that Robert left me with years and years ago. I have been looking for a guy that will restore my faith in the fact that they just might fucking show up or pull through on their half of the deal. This really is nothing new. Only it is sad that this girl has been waiting and waiting and continues allowing people to restore her faith and disappoint her time and time again. So why in the world is it going to be different this time?
Because the only thing I can change is how I care. To be honest I have absolutely no control over that at the moment so I guess he is just going to have to take a number and I will have to get to him when I am well and ready. Who knows, maybe I will finally get myself the fucking pony? I would have then solved the pony problem but I know there are countless others that seem to be in the line.... Just waiting to be resolved.
I just see such.....potential in my heart that I want so badly for it to be true. It isn't true though and that is the truth I need to tell myself cause in the end no one else is going to offer me that information...
so dude... you efforts are lame... I am over it. I believe that is why I walked away in the first place.
xoxo
sarah jean