(no subject)
So, I was alone all day today, watching Entourage, perusing the internet and just thinking about things.
Have you ever felt like you didn't belong?
I mean, sure I've been here for 10 months, and seem to have a fair number of friends. But, it kind of makes me wonder if they are truely my friends.
I could just be thinking that they are. Maybe they feel obligated to hang out with me.
Some of them call me to do stuff, but I'm not going to lie, I think they are only calling me as a last resort.
Why would they want to hang out with me in the first place?
I'm not that fun of a person. I like to think I'm fun, but the truth is, I'm not.
I feel like maybe I should just stop talking to everyone. Maybe their lives would be better without me.
I hate asking people to do things. I feel like they only say yes because they will feel bad if they say no.
Sometimes I just kind of wish that I'd disappear.
I don't think I belong with the people that have been so kind to me.
To this day, I still can't really talk to people the way I wish I could.
You, LiveJournal, are the only means of expressing myself I have.
Tonight was Alexis' birthday party. I stayed home. I didn't think I belonged there, even though she personally invited me.
I feel so alone.
I don't know anymore.
Do I deserve the people I have in my life? Do they want me to be around them? Do they want anything to do with me?
I need somebody.
I also feel like since most of my "friends" here are boys, they will always just see me as "one of the guys".
It feels like maybe I'll never find someone who cares about me as more than a friend.
I've liked some of them, but have never been able to tell them because I think they'll shrug it off and not take me seriously.
....I just want someone.
Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people
Have you ever felt like you didn't belong?
I mean, sure I've been here for 10 months, and seem to have a fair number of friends. But, it kind of makes me wonder if they are truely my friends.
I could just be thinking that they are. Maybe they feel obligated to hang out with me.
Some of them call me to do stuff, but I'm not going to lie, I think they are only calling me as a last resort.
Why would they want to hang out with me in the first place?
I'm not that fun of a person. I like to think I'm fun, but the truth is, I'm not.
I feel like maybe I should just stop talking to everyone. Maybe their lives would be better without me.
I hate asking people to do things. I feel like they only say yes because they will feel bad if they say no.
Sometimes I just kind of wish that I'd disappear.
I don't think I belong with the people that have been so kind to me.
To this day, I still can't really talk to people the way I wish I could.
You, LiveJournal, are the only means of expressing myself I have.
Tonight was Alexis' birthday party. I stayed home. I didn't think I belonged there, even though she personally invited me.
I feel so alone.
I don't know anymore.
Do I deserve the people I have in my life? Do they want me to be around them? Do they want anything to do with me?
I need somebody.
I also feel like since most of my "friends" here are boys, they will always just see me as "one of the guys".
It feels like maybe I'll never find someone who cares about me as more than a friend.
I've liked some of them, but have never been able to tell them because I think they'll shrug it off and not take me seriously.
....I just want someone.
Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people