THE TIME MONSTER DRINKING GAME
That's right. Ladies and gentlebeings, it's time for the ultimate Time Monster drinking game. Bring your favourite brew, alcoholic or otherwise, or substitute nibbles for your drinks (this might be the healthier option, if you choose to drink every time you spot slash and/or get distracted by boobies). Making up your own rules as you go along is highly encouraged. Put on your minotaur-pwning cape, smooth out your beard, strap on a golden girdle and go!
"To Atlantis! And her mighty... erm... tracts of land."
Take a sip every time:
-The Brigadier/Jo/anyone from UNIT refers to themselves as dim or does something utterly stupid
-Roger Delgado attempts a Greek accent
-The Doctor has an Eureka moment (tea leaves!)
-Stuart uses slang, makes a bad joke or calls the Master "Prof"
-Dr. Ingram manifests a badly-written femanazi stereotype (two drinks if she's hypocritical about it "like old women", down in one if she's actually funny "you just stand there and look pretty")
-Someone/something runs in slow motion or speeds up
-Every time there's a fanfic fodder moment where you learn something new about the Doctor/the Master/the Time Lords/the TARDIS/etc (for Academy era references, see below)
-There's Doctor/Master slash in the air (caution must be taken with this one. The management takes no responsibility for the blindness that might ensue).
-Someone refers to the Master as a god
-Ingrid Pitt looks like she's about to pop out of her dress
-The Master laughs evilly or shouts "COME, KRONOS, COME!"
-The Doctor acts Noble and Buddhist(TM)
-Somehow, Jo knows Greek
-There's a boring civil servant/professor type doddering about
-The Master says "I am the Master, and you will obey me" (down in one if he fails to impress someone)
-Jo looks like her head is about to explode
-Krasis raises his arms dramatically
-The science makes no sense at all
-Someone comes up with a convoluted metaphor "as fast as a boa constrictor can swallow a rabbit! Fur and all!"
-Benton is awesome/bloody adorable
-Galleia leches after the Master
-The Chronovore looks rubbish
-If you can make out what the Doctor's internal voices are saying (two sips if it sounds filthy)
-The Master goes "fuck this shit" and runs
-The Doctor uses Venusian aikido
-The Brigadier wants to Blow Something Up
-The Doctor is clearly enjoying it all.
Two sips:
-Every time a device or a process sounds/looks dodgy, or just Freudian (TOMTIT, the TARDIS sniffer-outer, the two TARDISes merging, Time Ram, etc)
-Someone gets aged or de-aged (optional: have a nibble every time you spot something the new series re-used from this serial)
-Every Gallifrey/Academy mention (down in one if it's the Daisiest Daisy story)
-Every time Hippias opens his mouth (to dull the pain of having to endure his "acting"; down in one when he finally gets killed)
-Someone makes an awful pun ("Simmer down, Stu!")
-There's really, really, *really* epic Doctor/Master slash in the air (the dream sequence, the bitch-off when the TARDISes are joined, etc.)
-There's het in the air (Jo's coccyx, down in one if the Master handporns with Galleia)
-The Master gets pwned (Dalios, "Galleia is a Queen!", "How about: 'curses, foiled again'?", down in one if it's Kronos doing the pwning)
-The Doctor and Jo get chained up
-The Master smokes a cigar
-"Lady JoJo Grant."
-The Master clasps the crystal greedily or drools over it in general
-Minoan snake goddess statues' bare boobs have been painted over for modesty reasons
-The Brig takes the piss out of himself
-Dalios is awesome
-The Master imitates the Brigadier
-Clothes come on or off: The Master puts his jacket on or changes into Evil Clothes, the Doctor uses his cape to pwn the Minotaur, Jo puts on that Atlantean get-up
-You spot Terry Walsh as the window cleaner. Down in one when he falls.
Down in one when you spot these:
-"WELCOME! WELCOME TO YOUR NEW MASTER!"
-The contraption the Doctor builds from forks and keychains and a bottle and a teacup, etc.
-Jo's knickers.
-Stuart screams "KROOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOSSS."
-DAVID MOTHERFUCKING PROWSE AND THE MINOTAUR BULLFIGHT
-The Lady Kronos appears
-The Master is shitting himself and begging for mercy
-The Doctor pleads for the Master's life
-"Plinge."
-"I'm a life-long pacifist!"
-The whole Daisiest Daisy story. <3
-"No, Sergeant Benton, THAT is the oldest trick in the book!"
-The Master and Galleia look obviously post-coital
-Jo single-handedly saves the universe.
-UNEXPECTED NAKED BENTON.
Extra thanks to marah_sarie for additional suggestions.
"To Atlantis! And her mighty... erm... tracts of land."
Take a sip every time:
-The Brigadier/Jo/anyone from UNIT refers to themselves as dim or does something utterly stupid
-Roger Delgado attempts a Greek accent
-The Doctor has an Eureka moment (tea leaves!)
-Stuart uses slang, makes a bad joke or calls the Master "Prof"
-Dr. Ingram manifests a badly-written femanazi stereotype (two drinks if she's hypocritical about it "like old women", down in one if she's actually funny "you just stand there and look pretty")
-Someone/something runs in slow motion or speeds up
-Every time there's a fanfic fodder moment where you learn something new about the Doctor/the Master/the Time Lords/the TARDIS/etc (for Academy era references, see below)
-There's Doctor/Master slash in the air (caution must be taken with this one. The management takes no responsibility for the blindness that might ensue).
-Someone refers to the Master as a god
-Ingrid Pitt looks like she's about to pop out of her dress
-The Master laughs evilly or shouts "COME, KRONOS, COME!"
-The Doctor acts Noble and Buddhist(TM)
-Somehow, Jo knows Greek
-There's a boring civil servant/professor type doddering about
-The Master says "I am the Master, and you will obey me" (down in one if he fails to impress someone)
-Jo looks like her head is about to explode
-Krasis raises his arms dramatically
-The science makes no sense at all
-Someone comes up with a convoluted metaphor "as fast as a boa constrictor can swallow a rabbit! Fur and all!"
-Benton is awesome/bloody adorable
-Galleia leches after the Master
-The Chronovore looks rubbish
-If you can make out what the Doctor's internal voices are saying (two sips if it sounds filthy)
-The Master goes "fuck this shit" and runs
-The Doctor uses Venusian aikido
-The Brigadier wants to Blow Something Up
-The Doctor is clearly enjoying it all.
Two sips:
-Every time a device or a process sounds/looks dodgy, or just Freudian (TOMTIT, the TARDIS sniffer-outer, the two TARDISes merging, Time Ram, etc)
-Someone gets aged or de-aged (optional: have a nibble every time you spot something the new series re-used from this serial)
-Every Gallifrey/Academy mention (down in one if it's the Daisiest Daisy story)
-Every time Hippias opens his mouth (to dull the pain of having to endure his "acting"; down in one when he finally gets killed)
-Someone makes an awful pun ("Simmer down, Stu!")
-There's really, really, *really* epic Doctor/Master slash in the air (the dream sequence, the bitch-off when the TARDISes are joined, etc.)
-There's het in the air (Jo's coccyx, down in one if the Master handporns with Galleia)
-The Master gets pwned (Dalios, "Galleia is a Queen!", "How about: 'curses, foiled again'?", down in one if it's Kronos doing the pwning)
-The Doctor and Jo get chained up
-The Master smokes a cigar
-"Lady JoJo Grant."
-The Master clasps the crystal greedily or drools over it in general
-Minoan snake goddess statues' bare boobs have been painted over for modesty reasons
-The Brig takes the piss out of himself
-Dalios is awesome
-The Master imitates the Brigadier
-Clothes come on or off: The Master puts his jacket on or changes into Evil Clothes, the Doctor uses his cape to pwn the Minotaur, Jo puts on that Atlantean get-up
-You spot Terry Walsh as the window cleaner. Down in one when he falls.
Down in one when you spot these:
-"WELCOME! WELCOME TO YOUR NEW MASTER!"
-The contraption the Doctor builds from forks and keychains and a bottle and a teacup, etc.
-Jo's knickers.
-Stuart screams "KROOOOOOONOOOOOOOOOOSSS."
-DAVID MOTHERFUCKING PROWSE AND THE MINOTAUR BULLFIGHT
-The Lady Kronos appears
-The Master is shitting himself and begging for mercy
-The Doctor pleads for the Master's life
-"Plinge."
-"I'm a life-long pacifist!"
-The whole Daisiest Daisy story. <3
-"No, Sergeant Benton, THAT is the oldest trick in the book!"
-The Master and Galleia look obviously post-coital
-Jo single-handedly saves the universe.
-UNEXPECTED NAKED BENTON.
Extra thanks to marah_sarie for additional suggestions.