This mondaysabitch is so fucking horrible I have to do it.
This is fucking awful and like sodding reality TV. It's actually so awful I have to do it, if only to take the piss and bitch at it.
Celebrity Puppetry
1. If you had to marry an ugly actor/actress, who would you choose?
I think you mean "not considered conventionally handsome/beautiful". Hm, I suppose Bill Bailey isn't considered particularily handsome or anything, but he's funny and cuddly and smart, which is good enough for me. I'd rather have a nice, fluffy hobbitman rather than a brainless "handsome" bastard, thank you. And um, womanses-wise, I suppose Catherine Tate or Ruth Jones aren't considered beautiful (Ruth is prettier inna face, but of course the public is of the opinion that fat chicks can't be hot). Ruth seems warmer, so maybe her. She was lovely in Crotchwoot, even if that episode was rubbish otherwise. And I llove a Wellsh lillt.
2. If you were a pimp, what three celebrities would you want as your hos? (Male or female)
I'd tart up the young Peter Davison and Paul McGann in eyeliner and put Dave Tenninch in drag. Because this would be hilarious. I'd make them pose and lounge on silk and velvet cushions in a harem setting and curl each other's hair and put pink lipgloss on each other. Threeways with daisy chains, messing up said lipgloss and with lots of spit and tongues and fingers and and and moans are purely optional.
3. What two celebrities would you like to see in a death match?
Are Who writers famous enough? I want to see Mad Larry, Moff and Cornell fight it out in a pit with only OldWho VHS tapes for weapons. Or a similar deathmatch with any of the RADW flamewar veterans. Thank fuck I'm not famous enough to count, because I'm sure I'd be there otherwise, bouncing Time Monster and Nimon tapes off people's heads.
4. If you could cast any two celebrities in a porn movie, who would you choose? (Bonus points if you can come up with a good movie spoof title!)
TENNANT AND SIMM IN A GAY/BI PORN, DAMN IT. The Deadly Ass-assin? Buttopia. The Sound of Bums. The Last of the Time Whores. Life On Arse. Casanova (no change needed). Original titles would include the inevitable Obey The Master, The Doctor Is In, and The Magnificient Manwhores From Outer Space.
5. What actor or actress (or other non-musical celebrity) would you like to see record a solo album?
I want Tom Baker to do a spoken-word album with space jazz in the background. Completely improvised and rambling. Or possibly Brian Blessed recording a heavy metal album, because this would be awesomestupid as well. Or Mitchell & Webb doing a gangsta rap album full of intellectual, sneering sarcasm and swearing, and for them to maintain perfect Englishness throughout. THIS CANNOT FAIL.
Celebrity Puppetry
1. If you had to marry an ugly actor/actress, who would you choose?
I think you mean "not considered conventionally handsome/beautiful". Hm, I suppose Bill Bailey isn't considered particularily handsome or anything, but he's funny and cuddly and smart, which is good enough for me. I'd rather have a nice, fluffy hobbitman rather than a brainless "handsome" bastard, thank you. And um, womanses-wise, I suppose Catherine Tate or Ruth Jones aren't considered beautiful (Ruth is prettier inna face, but of course the public is of the opinion that fat chicks can't be hot). Ruth seems warmer, so maybe her. She was lovely in Crotchwoot, even if that episode was rubbish otherwise. And I llove a Wellsh lillt.
2. If you were a pimp, what three celebrities would you want as your hos? (Male or female)
I'd tart up the young Peter Davison and Paul McGann in eyeliner and put Dave Tenninch in drag. Because this would be hilarious. I'd make them pose and lounge on silk and velvet cushions in a harem setting and curl each other's hair and put pink lipgloss on each other. Threeways with daisy chains, messing up said lipgloss and with lots of spit and tongues and fingers and and and moans are purely optional.
3. What two celebrities would you like to see in a death match?
Are Who writers famous enough? I want to see Mad Larry, Moff and Cornell fight it out in a pit with only OldWho VHS tapes for weapons. Or a similar deathmatch with any of the RADW flamewar veterans. Thank fuck I'm not famous enough to count, because I'm sure I'd be there otherwise, bouncing Time Monster and Nimon tapes off people's heads.
4. If you could cast any two celebrities in a porn movie, who would you choose? (Bonus points if you can come up with a good movie spoof title!)
TENNANT AND SIMM IN A GAY/BI PORN, DAMN IT. The Deadly Ass-assin? Buttopia. The Sound of Bums. The Last of the Time Whores. Life On Arse. Casanova (no change needed). Original titles would include the inevitable Obey The Master, The Doctor Is In, and The Magnificient Manwhores From Outer Space.
5. What actor or actress (or other non-musical celebrity) would you like to see record a solo album?
I want Tom Baker to do a spoken-word album with space jazz in the background. Completely improvised and rambling. Or possibly Brian Blessed recording a heavy metal album, because this would be awesomestupid as well. Or Mitchell & Webb doing a gangsta rap album full of intellectual, sneering sarcasm and swearing, and for them to maintain perfect Englishness throughout. THIS CANNOT FAIL.