"Stop blowing holes in our breakfast!"
-I haven't finished with the Musketeer squee yet, but I'm too lazy to cap. However, ep 8 was awesome with great acting and angst and direction and WTF. It had a crazy old geezer dressed like a Morris dancer with antlers on his head, trying to take the piss out of Porthos. No, really. I do love it that whenever they deviate from the novel, they go for OMGWTFBBQLULZ.
-I am on ep 9 and DESPERATELY trying to cap shirtless d'Artagnan. They're at that lulzy bit where they go "shit, man, we need to have a discussion out of earshot of everyone else." "We should capture an enemy bastion and have breakfast/lunch there?" "Fuck yes. The gunfire will cover our conversation!" And yet they end up going "Stop shooting, you bastards, we're eating" anyway. Oh god, I LOVE MAH MUSKETEERS SO HARD. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the adaptations that leave original lols like this in.
Sorry the caps are a bit crap, but...
Bang.
Sulk.
Aww.
-And ohyess, the Milady/Felton tensions. Again, there's some beautiful direction when they go through various castle halls and corridors to that place where they lock up Milady. And even if she was given a weak start, Mary Peach is every inch the hissing hellcat with massive, massive pent-up evols. There are great shots of her staring into the distance, full of vitriol and nefarious plans, with bloodied mouf.
And in true Hammond style, lots of stuff shot through mirrors and from behind things. Gah. Some of the shots are framed so that if, say, there are three people in the room and one is talking, the camera may shoot through X and Y's hands fiddling with papers, fruit, stuff on a table and Z is seen behind thm, giving his monologue... just great stuff.
-And, uh. There's a v. slashy bit of Richelieu demanding spurs for his bootses and he has Rochefort buckle them on. Like a manservant. Uh. Dodgy.
-I should just fucking reread the novel. Moar win:
Milady's crazy religious flailage act in order to impress Felton, complete with THUNDER AND LIGHTNING outside:
And d'Artagnan is finally made into a Musketeer and he BOUNCES! Like a wee crazy thing! First he dances with Porthos:
And then breakdances in the sand. <333333333333333333
Fanboying, yet badass at Richelieu:
LE UNF.
D'Artagnan emoes over Constance's fate, not knowing what's happened to her. Porthos just laughs at him. Bastard.
"Fuck the Cardinal, let's get shitfaced!"
And there's more wonderful Milady batshit. She actually gets Felton to spread his arms and yell "DEATH TO THE ANTICHRIST!" about Buckingham.
SO MUCH WIN.
Oh noes, it's the last ep already:(. I LOVE THIS TOO HARD FOR IT TO EVER END.
D'Artagnan can't wait to be reunited with Constance.
Although, of course, because this is awesome-true to the book, Milady has found her first and POISONS HER DEAD. YES. And she mocks Constance and stalks around her when she's convulsing and writhing and dying. PROPER EVOL.
Oh fuck yes, and she gets a great death scene in d'Artagnan's arms and Brett acts his wee heart out. And wails:(. I believe I am misty-eyed right nao. I fucking love mah musketeers too much.
Wah!
Noes!
*sob*
Eventually, he has to be manhandled by Porthos.
And oh GOD, he throws himself into Athos's arms and weeps. And Athos is all noble and angsty and solemn. AND STROKES HIS HAIR. *CRI*
And then they find Milady and PWN her. And it's wonderfully perverse that she gets her sexiest, most revealing outfit for these bits. Holy fuck, this is so wonderfully kinktastic it's not true.
And and and they're all eager to pronounce a death sentence on her, each of them repeating her crimes--Athos even saying "My turn, my turn"!
And Porthos and Aramis go O_O when Athos mentions he was married to her.
And d'Artagnan is positively growling: "Death!"
and she whirls and stumbles into cobwebs and it's FUCKING BEAUTIFULLY DONE and I may die.
And the headsman from Lille? KEVIN MOTHERFUCKING STONEY. I believe I am nearly crying of SHEER GLEE.
And Milady has her final, glorious fits. Of evil win.
And and and they even left in the bit where d'Artagnan flails at the horror of it all and OMFG. And the most damning part is where they all forgive her before she gets her head chopped off. a;dskfh;adslkfh;adslfkh;adsflkh SO MUCH WIN.
And as;dfklashdflkhasdf, d'Artagnan tells Richelieu of what they did to Milady.
And YES. That bit where he uses Richelieu's own letter to get away with it. DS:ASLDKH:ASDKH I LOVE MAH FANDOM.
And then he fanboys Richelieu again.
ANd :ASLDKHAS:DKLHAS:DKHASD:LKHAS:DLKASDH:ASDLKHASD:L ROCHEFORT TIEM.
D'ARTAGNAN'S LOOK IS A LOT LIKE THE "OH SHIT" LOOK TWO GIVES TO THE WAR CHIEF WHEN HE RECOGNISES HIM.
D'ARTAGNAN CALLS ROCHEFORT "HIS EVIL GENIUS" IN HIS MIND.
RICHELIEU MAKES D'ARTAGNAN AND ROCHEFORT EMBRACE. AND I THINK THE TOP OF MY HEAD HAS JUST BEEN BLOWN OFF BY SLASH.
"We shall meet, shall we not, sir?" "Whenever you please." "The opportunity will come." "Mmmm..."
AND I AM NOT SHITTING YOU GUYS. THAT IS EVEN SLASHIER THAN IT LOOKS ON SCREEN. HOW MUCH DO I FUCKING LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY DID THE THING WHERE D'ARTAGNAN AND ROCHEFORT BECOME GRUDGING FRIENDS? INSTEAD OF THE USUAL FILM DEVIATION WHERE THEY JUST HAVE A DUEL AT THE END AND D'ARTAGNAN KILLS HIM. OMFG. WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
And it all ends with shots of d'Artagnan pining beautifully.
There is yet time...
For his bitter recollections to turn into sweet memories, to paraphrase Athos. Ah! *sigh*
In summary, yes, this really is what Grouse Heaven is made of. Wonderful, entertaining stuff and more faithful to the book than most adaptations I've seen (and I've seen tons). Crazy melodrama, but brilliant archive telly. AND IT WAS NOT BURNINATED. HOORAY FOR THAT!<33333333333333333333333333333333
-I am on ep 9 and DESPERATELY trying to cap shirtless d'Artagnan. They're at that lulzy bit where they go "shit, man, we need to have a discussion out of earshot of everyone else." "We should capture an enemy bastion and have breakfast/lunch there?" "Fuck yes. The gunfire will cover our conversation!" And yet they end up going "Stop shooting, you bastards, we're eating" anyway. Oh god, I LOVE MAH MUSKETEERS SO HARD. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the adaptations that leave original lols like this in.
Sorry the caps are a bit crap, but...
Bang.
Sulk.
Aww.
-And ohyess, the Milady/Felton tensions. Again, there's some beautiful direction when they go through various castle halls and corridors to that place where they lock up Milady. And even if she was given a weak start, Mary Peach is every inch the hissing hellcat with massive, massive pent-up evols. There are great shots of her staring into the distance, full of vitriol and nefarious plans, with bloodied mouf.
And in true Hammond style, lots of stuff shot through mirrors and from behind things. Gah. Some of the shots are framed so that if, say, there are three people in the room and one is talking, the camera may shoot through X and Y's hands fiddling with papers, fruit, stuff on a table and Z is seen behind thm, giving his monologue... just great stuff.
-And, uh. There's a v. slashy bit of Richelieu demanding spurs for his bootses and he has Rochefort buckle them on. Like a manservant. Uh. Dodgy.
-I should just fucking reread the novel. Moar win:
Milady's crazy religious flailage act in order to impress Felton, complete with THUNDER AND LIGHTNING outside:
And d'Artagnan is finally made into a Musketeer and he BOUNCES! Like a wee crazy thing! First he dances with Porthos:
And then breakdances in the sand. <333333333333333333
Fanboying, yet badass at Richelieu:
LE UNF.
D'Artagnan emoes over Constance's fate, not knowing what's happened to her. Porthos just laughs at him. Bastard.
"Fuck the Cardinal, let's get shitfaced!"
And there's more wonderful Milady batshit. She actually gets Felton to spread his arms and yell "DEATH TO THE ANTICHRIST!" about Buckingham.
SO MUCH WIN.
Oh noes, it's the last ep already:(. I LOVE THIS TOO HARD FOR IT TO EVER END.
D'Artagnan can't wait to be reunited with Constance.
Although, of course, because this is awesome-true to the book, Milady has found her first and POISONS HER DEAD. YES. And she mocks Constance and stalks around her when she's convulsing and writhing and dying. PROPER EVOL.
Oh fuck yes, and she gets a great death scene in d'Artagnan's arms and Brett acts his wee heart out. And wails:(. I believe I am misty-eyed right nao. I fucking love mah musketeers too much.
Wah!
Noes!
*sob*
Eventually, he has to be manhandled by Porthos.
And oh GOD, he throws himself into Athos's arms and weeps. And Athos is all noble and angsty and solemn. AND STROKES HIS HAIR. *CRI*
And then they find Milady and PWN her. And it's wonderfully perverse that she gets her sexiest, most revealing outfit for these bits. Holy fuck, this is so wonderfully kinktastic it's not true.
And and and they're all eager to pronounce a death sentence on her, each of them repeating her crimes--Athos even saying "My turn, my turn"!
And Porthos and Aramis go O_O when Athos mentions he was married to her.
And d'Artagnan is positively growling: "Death!"
and she whirls and stumbles into cobwebs and it's FUCKING BEAUTIFULLY DONE and I may die.
And the headsman from Lille? KEVIN MOTHERFUCKING STONEY. I believe I am nearly crying of SHEER GLEE.
And Milady has her final, glorious fits. Of evil win.
And and and they even left in the bit where d'Artagnan flails at the horror of it all and OMFG. And the most damning part is where they all forgive her before she gets her head chopped off. a;dskfh;adslkfh;adslfkh;adsflkh SO MUCH WIN.
And as;dfklashdflkhasdf, d'Artagnan tells Richelieu of what they did to Milady.
And YES. That bit where he uses Richelieu's own letter to get away with it. DS:ASLDKH:ASDKH I LOVE MAH FANDOM.
And then he fanboys Richelieu again.
ANd :ASLDKHAS:DKLHAS:DKHASD:LKHAS:DLKASDH:ASDLKHASD:L ROCHEFORT TIEM.
D'ARTAGNAN'S LOOK IS A LOT LIKE THE "OH SHIT" LOOK TWO GIVES TO THE WAR CHIEF WHEN HE RECOGNISES HIM.
D'ARTAGNAN CALLS ROCHEFORT "HIS EVIL GENIUS" IN HIS MIND.
RICHELIEU MAKES D'ARTAGNAN AND ROCHEFORT EMBRACE. AND I THINK THE TOP OF MY HEAD HAS JUST BEEN BLOWN OFF BY SLASH.
"We shall meet, shall we not, sir?" "Whenever you please." "The opportunity will come." "Mmmm..."
AND I AM NOT SHITTING YOU GUYS. THAT IS EVEN SLASHIER THAN IT LOOKS ON SCREEN. HOW MUCH DO I FUCKING LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY DID THE THING WHERE D'ARTAGNAN AND ROCHEFORT BECOME GRUDGING FRIENDS? INSTEAD OF THE USUAL FILM DEVIATION WHERE THEY JUST HAVE A DUEL AT THE END AND D'ARTAGNAN KILLS HIM. OMFG. WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
And it all ends with shots of d'Artagnan pining beautifully.
There is yet time...
For his bitter recollections to turn into sweet memories, to paraphrase Athos. Ah! *sigh*
In summary, yes, this really is what Grouse Heaven is made of. Wonderful, entertaining stuff and more faithful to the book than most adaptations I've seen (and I've seen tons). Crazy melodrama, but brilliant archive telly. AND IT WAS NOT BURNINATED. HOORAY FOR THAT!<33333333333333333333333333333333