Japanese Steakhouse With American Beauty
I'm glad I went because that's when I realized I wasn't part of the table.
I was more like a ghost.
I watched as the American family next to us celebrated little Megan's birthday. She looked picture perfect, with her white skin and her golden hair. A picture perfect little girl. They were all like that, all typical. The father, the mother, the aunts and the uncles, the grandparents, the friends. They were all there at this restaurant, celebrating their little girl being closer to her inevitable end.
I smiled at this, because I truly felt like I was just watching. I could physically feel it, too. My sense of hearing dwindled down, and all their voices seemed to blend into one huge noise surrounding me. My sense of sight, however, heightened. I was more aware of certain things, certain features of people. Time also seemed to slow down, even just for a second, which seemed like a minute.
I was pulled back in every now and then, when Heather's parents would ask me something, or when I watched the cook play with our food. I think that because he messed up at the beginning he lost some confidence, I could see it in his eyes. His performance wasn't his best, I think he knew this, too.
I also watched Heather's family (they're the ones that invited me). They're quite typical, too. Sure, they think they're weird, but I know a lot of families here in the US that are like that. They don't think they're normal, but I don't believe they have a full understanding of what 'normal' is.
I'm sure they're quite happy in the comfort of their family. I'm sure Heather was happy, too.
I think there's a part of Heather that's very much like her family, then there's another part that's very much unlike them.
I am completely unlike them.
Again, I realized I'm more of a spectator. Maybe this comes from the knowledge I've gathered, or maybe just from being so different that I only fit in with myself. Either way, it's kind of sad.
I smiled at the pretty Japanese waitress, I clapped at the tricks the cook did. I'm sure that's what they longed for.
[I don't believe in fortune cookies, yet still sometimes I make mysefl believe them, because they seem so right. At the dinner, I didn't want to show it to anyone. I hid it.
It read:
"Tonight is the perfect night to give that special someone a gift."]
I guess I thought of a material gift, that's why it didn't seem right...
Perhaps I did give her a gift. I had dinner with her and her family, and I pretended to participate. Later she told me that her mom was very happy. She was happy, too.
I'd like to think that was my gift.
I was more like a ghost.
I watched as the American family next to us celebrated little Megan's birthday. She looked picture perfect, with her white skin and her golden hair. A picture perfect little girl. They were all like that, all typical. The father, the mother, the aunts and the uncles, the grandparents, the friends. They were all there at this restaurant, celebrating their little girl being closer to her inevitable end.
I smiled at this, because I truly felt like I was just watching. I could physically feel it, too. My sense of hearing dwindled down, and all their voices seemed to blend into one huge noise surrounding me. My sense of sight, however, heightened. I was more aware of certain things, certain features of people. Time also seemed to slow down, even just for a second, which seemed like a minute.
I was pulled back in every now and then, when Heather's parents would ask me something, or when I watched the cook play with our food. I think that because he messed up at the beginning he lost some confidence, I could see it in his eyes. His performance wasn't his best, I think he knew this, too.
I also watched Heather's family (they're the ones that invited me). They're quite typical, too. Sure, they think they're weird, but I know a lot of families here in the US that are like that. They don't think they're normal, but I don't believe they have a full understanding of what 'normal' is.
I'm sure they're quite happy in the comfort of their family. I'm sure Heather was happy, too.
I think there's a part of Heather that's very much like her family, then there's another part that's very much unlike them.
I am completely unlike them.
Again, I realized I'm more of a spectator. Maybe this comes from the knowledge I've gathered, or maybe just from being so different that I only fit in with myself. Either way, it's kind of sad.
I smiled at the pretty Japanese waitress, I clapped at the tricks the cook did. I'm sure that's what they longed for.
[I don't believe in fortune cookies, yet still sometimes I make mysefl believe them, because they seem so right. At the dinner, I didn't want to show it to anyone. I hid it.
It read:
"Tonight is the perfect night to give that special someone a gift."]
I guess I thought of a material gift, that's why it didn't seem right...
Perhaps I did give her a gift. I had dinner with her and her family, and I pretended to participate. Later she told me that her mom was very happy. She was happy, too.
I'd like to think that was my gift.