Ah crap.
Writing Updates: Sadistic Dance - Indulgence
Rant, feel free to skip over:
So, I spoke to my academic advisor today. I’m still 30 credits shy of what should be transferred. Though they keep telling me since they’re no upper level classes that they probably won’t transfer over. I suspected this would be the case. But its still 30 credits that I’ve already done the work for. This is money I’ve already paid. This is time I’ve already invested. If you do the job right the first time you don’t have to do it again. I wish that were so in this case. But it’s not. My time and money was apparently not well spent. It’s not counting. And I’m really aggravated by the fact. Yes, I sound selfish. No, I don’t care. I did the work and they want me to do it again.
It’s one thing for my error to mess up my work and time. It’s another thing when I have absolutely no control over how things in my future are playing out. I’m subjected to the whims of some large corporate school boards. And no amount of planning and tasking is going to fix it. My academic advisor said she’d look over it, and I’m hopeful. I hope with everything I am they can make it work. I’m just terribly irked that the next two years are not as I was planning them. I get peeved when someone tries to plan tomorrow for me.
So I can’t imagine how I ought to feel now that the next two years are dramatically different than I would have described. Perhaps the most annoying thing for me is that this is an aspect in my life I should be able to control - and I’ve found that I cannot. The one thing I feel like I have apparently means nothing.
It also doesn’t help that people will tell you what they think you want to hear just to assure they can do something productively. I felt oddly rushed and like my advisor was just trying to make sure she had done something today. I need help, and now I have to talk to her tomorrow too. Apparently this is not something that can be resolved quickly. Hell, I called on the 8th to try and get it resolved then. I was told my file was not complete. Today I was told it was complete and there wasn’t much that could be done. I was assured she’d look over it. But I was previously assured all my credits would transfer over. I have a very bad track record with people it would seem.
I was so excited that I’d be finished next year. I don’t even know what I’m really ranting about anymore. I expected this. Of course that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, nor does it lessen the blow. But I was really hoping that I was just imagining things and that it would all work out. You know, like all your hard work would pay off. I suppose, though, that if life were easy then most people could make it through day to day. I would think that if life were truly easy no one would have anything to bitch about. There would be no need for emotions like anger or helplessness.
I can do the work. I can do it well. I will succeed and get my bachelor’s. I just feel very uninspired. It won’t affect my work any, I’m just losing faith in people as a whole. I’d really like help but I have no idea what I need to do. And I tried speaking to my advisor, I know she heard me, but I don’t think she really listened. I really feel like I wasn’t listened too. Perhaps I was unclear. But, I’m just really feeling very aggravated. Kind of trapped, and that’s my most loathed feeling. [/rant]
Moving on….
And I feel a little better now that I’ve ranted and read. I really don’t know about a lot of things. I can admit that I am terribly bias when it comes to me and my own ideals or notions. The fact remains that regardless of what happens I need to keep moving forward. Whatever happens needs to happen, and I don’t always need to understand that. I will make it through because I know how to persevere.
Actually I’m doing a lot better now. I will be talking to my conversation partner tonight, so all is well. At the very least I can study. That will keep me distracted. ALSO. I got a cool toy from the cereal box. =D It’s a Star Trek Beam up Badge. I got command. I’m so awesome. And kind of hungry since that was a few hours ago.
Writing:
No Lies and Truth today, but there was still Xanxus! SO REJOICE.
Rant, feel free to skip over:
So, I spoke to my academic advisor today. I’m still 30 credits shy of what should be transferred. Though they keep telling me since they’re no upper level classes that they probably won’t transfer over. I suspected this would be the case. But its still 30 credits that I’ve already done the work for. This is money I’ve already paid. This is time I’ve already invested. If you do the job right the first time you don’t have to do it again. I wish that were so in this case. But it’s not. My time and money was apparently not well spent. It’s not counting. And I’m really aggravated by the fact. Yes, I sound selfish. No, I don’t care. I did the work and they want me to do it again.
It’s one thing for my error to mess up my work and time. It’s another thing when I have absolutely no control over how things in my future are playing out. I’m subjected to the whims of some large corporate school boards. And no amount of planning and tasking is going to fix it. My academic advisor said she’d look over it, and I’m hopeful. I hope with everything I am they can make it work. I’m just terribly irked that the next two years are not as I was planning them. I get peeved when someone tries to plan tomorrow for me.
So I can’t imagine how I ought to feel now that the next two years are dramatically different than I would have described. Perhaps the most annoying thing for me is that this is an aspect in my life I should be able to control - and I’ve found that I cannot. The one thing I feel like I have apparently means nothing.
It also doesn’t help that people will tell you what they think you want to hear just to assure they can do something productively. I felt oddly rushed and like my advisor was just trying to make sure she had done something today. I need help, and now I have to talk to her tomorrow too. Apparently this is not something that can be resolved quickly. Hell, I called on the 8th to try and get it resolved then. I was told my file was not complete. Today I was told it was complete and there wasn’t much that could be done. I was assured she’d look over it. But I was previously assured all my credits would transfer over. I have a very bad track record with people it would seem.
I was so excited that I’d be finished next year. I don’t even know what I’m really ranting about anymore. I expected this. Of course that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, nor does it lessen the blow. But I was really hoping that I was just imagining things and that it would all work out. You know, like all your hard work would pay off. I suppose, though, that if life were easy then most people could make it through day to day. I would think that if life were truly easy no one would have anything to bitch about. There would be no need for emotions like anger or helplessness.
I can do the work. I can do it well. I will succeed and get my bachelor’s. I just feel very uninspired. It won’t affect my work any, I’m just losing faith in people as a whole. I’d really like help but I have no idea what I need to do. And I tried speaking to my advisor, I know she heard me, but I don’t think she really listened. I really feel like I wasn’t listened too. Perhaps I was unclear. But, I’m just really feeling very aggravated. Kind of trapped, and that’s my most loathed feeling. [/rant]
Moving on….
And I feel a little better now that I’ve ranted and read. I really don’t know about a lot of things. I can admit that I am terribly bias when it comes to me and my own ideals or notions. The fact remains that regardless of what happens I need to keep moving forward. Whatever happens needs to happen, and I don’t always need to understand that. I will make it through because I know how to persevere.
Actually I’m doing a lot better now. I will be talking to my conversation partner tonight, so all is well. At the very least I can study. That will keep me distracted. ALSO. I got a cool toy from the cereal box. =D It’s a Star Trek Beam up Badge. I got command. I’m so awesome. And kind of hungry since that was a few hours ago.
Writing:
No Lies and Truth today, but there was still Xanxus! SO REJOICE.