i will definitely add you back if you add me! :) i just dont wanna add people unless they add me cause im not even sure who's on LJ now or not, so in order to keep my LJ full of at-least-somewhat-active users, that's what i gotta do.
idk wtf is wrong, but i just cant bring myself to even smile, unless i'm with friends. when that happens, i just force a smile >< i wish i could take the day off for a "me" time, but sadly i can't because my family won't leave me alone. thank you~ using JE to escape from RL isn't bad, unless you're being threatened that your whole fucking collection will be thrown away if you dont go out of your way to do stuff. right now, i've totally given up on life. i think the only time i keep away from suicidal thoughts is whenever i'm occupying myself with je stuff. i wanted to go counseling but my mom is against that since she is convinced that the only thing i'll do there is talk about how the whole family is bitchy towards me and stuff. and then when i told her fine, whatever, she's now like "you can go if you feel you need to" but it's like whytf are you contradicting yourself?! i dont want her to think she has to do ANYTHING for me. she's guilt-tripping me by saying how she'll let me do anything to get my mood up when she actually doesnt want me to go. and she's like "you can just call the counseling person up and we can go together" when she didnt even give me the phone number to call. she KNOWS there's no fucking way i know the number without her telling me. i just hate the lies and empty words that my parents are saying when all these years they're like "we hate liars and we dont believe those people who only talk big" and now i'm just like wtf, you're basically saying dont be like you guys cause that's exactly what they do. anyway, sorry for the rant.
idk wtf is wrong, but i just cant bring myself to even smile, unless i'm with friends. when that happens, i just force a smile >< i wish i could take the day off for a "me" time, but sadly i can't because my family won't leave me alone. thank you~ using JE to escape from RL isn't bad, unless you're being threatened that your whole fucking collection will be thrown away if you dont go out of your way to do stuff. right now, i've totally given up on life. i think the only time i keep away from suicidal thoughts is whenever i'm occupying myself with je stuff. i wanted to go counseling but my mom is against that since she is convinced that the only thing i'll do there is talk about how the whole family is bitchy towards me and stuff. and then when i told her fine, whatever, she's now like "you can go if you feel you need to" but it's like whytf are you contradicting yourself?! i dont want her to think she has to do ANYTHING for me. she's guilt-tripping me by saying how she'll let me do anything to get my mood up when she actually doesnt want me to go. and she's like "you can just call the counseling person up and we can go together" when she didnt even give me the phone number to call. she KNOWS there's no fucking way i know the number without her telling me. i just hate the lies and empty words that my parents are saying when all these years they're like "we hate liars and we dont believe those people who only talk big" and now i'm just like wtf, you're basically saying dont be like you guys cause that's exactly what they do. anyway, sorry for the rant.
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