Well overdue...
So yep, its that time of the week again. God I hate Mondays, they even start with the same letter as 'monotony' does. I've felt pretty flat and a tiny bit down and out today. However I think this is mainly due to the fact that I’ve worn whatever particular gland it is that secretes endorphins well and truly out, so its a good kinda 'meh' I guess. And why has the happy-gland (that sounds so wrong in so many ways) taken such a beating this weekend is what I guess I’m supposed to be writing about.
Well, I must thank all my dear friends for coming to the night out I had on Friday, and tell those that couldn't- how sorely missed they were (I had a drink for you all though ;) an aniseed flavoured shooter to be precise). It was a really great night and I had a great time. It was cool to get out, don't do much of the planned nights out where I make an effort or ever seem to do the things my age group tend to revel in.
I also noticed something a tad odd half way through the night, it wasn't any external change (except for the fact I wasn't dressed as an ancient history librarian for once) but more an internal shift in my thinking. It happens whenever I let loose and tune out awareness of what it is I’m actually doing or how people may be perceiving me. The last time it happened I was half way up the face of a building. I'm pretty sure its Sneaky. Its an avatar name I’ve dropped into a lot of little details in life- emails, user names etc. but the name also sums up who I feel every now and then, like an alter-ego. The Sneaky is that side, that bit of me that really doesn't care- the one who really likes the coloured crayon everyone else thinks is 'icky' and makes a point of happily scribbling in it as standard (Primary School Metaphors -another very Sneaky creation). Its the bit of me that has me wearing top hats when at home, or busking randomly if I realise I haven't got any money but really don't feel like walking home; locking myself in my room for aaages to read some book totally uninterrupted, front to back, when I know I have loads to be doing.
I like Sneaky, though find it terribly distracting sometimes when trying to be ultra effective (and yes- its an 'it', certainly not a she). I've realised I’m a year off waving goodbye to the title teenager (never liked it anyway, though is a great excuse :P) and haven't all that long before being a total nut-weasel is no longer an endearing nature and more just irritating. Anyone close to me, or who has met me under the influence of caffeine/sugar/alcohol will know I can be a tad...... bouncy? Well, when feeling this bouncy, I also tend to wish to dress more eccentrically, be more sassy or generally with more attitude than my usual state of 'um, ok then'. These feelings are there most of the time, and when sneaky hits I feel them quite a bit. I'm a bit bored of looking like a teacher, running through the same routine of 'um....err....guys? I'll... well, I’ll shut up for now' when I roleplay or get into a discussion. A few people have remarked to my likeness to Starbuck, they couldn't be further off with the way I usually act, but I certainly think they've hit on how I should be- a little more assertive, or at least stop caring as much. And so I’ll issue this warning: Sneaky is being let out- maybe it'll have a good effect on me, maybe it'll just mean I get less done and get the crap beaten out of me ....more :D
So umm, yes, 19 and all I have to show for it is an adjective for an alter-ego, a PVC skirt and a death wish in the form of a trip to a country governed by French fuzzies (I do mean the lemurs).
Did I mention I accidentally ended up hitting a complete stranger in the face with a raw egg yesterday? Mmm, satisfying- let the games begin!
Well, I must thank all my dear friends for coming to the night out I had on Friday, and tell those that couldn't- how sorely missed they were (I had a drink for you all though ;) an aniseed flavoured shooter to be precise). It was a really great night and I had a great time. It was cool to get out, don't do much of the planned nights out where I make an effort or ever seem to do the things my age group tend to revel in.
I also noticed something a tad odd half way through the night, it wasn't any external change (except for the fact I wasn't dressed as an ancient history librarian for once) but more an internal shift in my thinking. It happens whenever I let loose and tune out awareness of what it is I’m actually doing or how people may be perceiving me. The last time it happened I was half way up the face of a building. I'm pretty sure its Sneaky. Its an avatar name I’ve dropped into a lot of little details in life- emails, user names etc. but the name also sums up who I feel every now and then, like an alter-ego. The Sneaky is that side, that bit of me that really doesn't care- the one who really likes the coloured crayon everyone else thinks is 'icky' and makes a point of happily scribbling in it as standard (Primary School Metaphors -another very Sneaky creation). Its the bit of me that has me wearing top hats when at home, or busking randomly if I realise I haven't got any money but really don't feel like walking home; locking myself in my room for aaages to read some book totally uninterrupted, front to back, when I know I have loads to be doing.
I like Sneaky, though find it terribly distracting sometimes when trying to be ultra effective (and yes- its an 'it', certainly not a she). I've realised I’m a year off waving goodbye to the title teenager (never liked it anyway, though is a great excuse :P) and haven't all that long before being a total nut-weasel is no longer an endearing nature and more just irritating. Anyone close to me, or who has met me under the influence of caffeine/sugar/alcohol will know I can be a tad...... bouncy? Well, when feeling this bouncy, I also tend to wish to dress more eccentrically, be more sassy or generally with more attitude than my usual state of 'um, ok then'. These feelings are there most of the time, and when sneaky hits I feel them quite a bit. I'm a bit bored of looking like a teacher, running through the same routine of 'um....err....guys? I'll... well, I’ll shut up for now' when I roleplay or get into a discussion. A few people have remarked to my likeness to Starbuck, they couldn't be further off with the way I usually act, but I certainly think they've hit on how I should be- a little more assertive, or at least stop caring as much. And so I’ll issue this warning: Sneaky is being let out- maybe it'll have a good effect on me, maybe it'll just mean I get less done and get the crap beaten out of me ....more :D
So umm, yes, 19 and all I have to show for it is an adjective for an alter-ego, a PVC skirt and a death wish in the form of a trip to a country governed by French fuzzies (I do mean the lemurs).
Did I mention I accidentally ended up hitting a complete stranger in the face with a raw egg yesterday? Mmm, satisfying- let the games begin!