New Torture Method Discovered: Fun for the Whole Family.
It was suggested to me that it was about time for another quizzle. Thus, I have for your enjoyment (read: guarantee you to stab yourself repeatedly in the head with a fork) the longest and most mind-numbingly excruciating quizzle in the world:
1. What is your name? Stephanie
2. What colour pants are you wearing right now? Dark blue denim
3. What song are u listening to right now? As aforementioned.
4. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 2703
5. What was the last thing u ate? Corn chips and salsa
6. If u were a crayon, what colour would u want to be? My first thought would be red, but I think I'd go with black because you know black would be used the most. I'd like to be a crayon slut.
7. What's your favorite fingernail polish color? Pink
8. Do you dig the Ramones? Nope, but it’s cool music to gyrate drunkenly to.
9. Have you ever bought that novelty pasta with the silly shapes? No, but squidgy when eaten.
10. What's your deal on needles? $5 per dozen
11. Gravity: sucks
12. Where do u want to go on your honeymoon? Vienna, Tuscany, or somewhere else in Europe. But as long as the bed is comfortable...
13. Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with? Friends. And myself, which is kinda lucky I guess.
14. How is the weather right now? Cool, but humid. Lots of sunshine. Wonderful BBQ weather.
15. Last person u talked to on the phone? A Phone survey about sex and drugs. I should screen my calls more thoroughly, I’m not entirely sure he was legit.
16. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Physique and face.
17. How are you today? So very tired.
18. Your fave drink? Non-Alcoholic? Fruit smoothies.
19. Alcoholic: Cowboys.
20. How do u eat an Oreo? Stupid American question. Stick it in your mouth and masticate.
21. Favourite sport? Basketball and ice hockey.
22. What makes u happy? Having fun with my friends, lots of music, preferably getting blind, possibly dancing involved.
23. What's the next CD you're gonna get? Well, if I actually bought CDs still instead of downloading, I think it would have to be The Cat Empire.
24. Hair colour? Light brown
25. Eye colour? Grey
26. Height? 174 cm
27. Do u wear contacts? No, just call them sometimes.
28. Siblings and their ages? Michelle, 19.
29. Who do u consider your close friends? Rebecca, Jenny, Jacqui, Magda, Yen.
30. What do u like to do? Take a crap in the morning.
31. What's the best advice given to u? "Regret something you did, rather than regret not trying." I haven’t been able to follow that creed particularly well though.
32. Have u ever won any special awards? Depends on the definition of special.
33. What are your future goals? Discover my passion in life. Follow it without looking back.
34. Fave music? Stuff with lyrics preferably. But none of this RnB crap.
35. Fave food? Pumpkin pie. Mmmmmmmm...snarkilicious.
36. Fave movies? Star Wars (the original trilogy thankyou, the new ones made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon), The Matrix, Dogma, Sleepy Hollow, Akira, Cowboy Bebop, Quills, Ghost in the Shell, Castle of Cagliostro, Mulan, Human Traffic, Back to the Future Trilogy... the list goes on.
37. Fave day of the year? Christmas
38. Fave month? Eeenie meenie minie moe... April.
39. Fave cheese? Any particularly gooey kind.
40. Do u like to dance? ya they were dancin', and singin', and movin' 2 the groovin', and just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted:
Play that funky music white boy
play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie
and play that funky music till you die
41. Are u shy to ask someone out? Yes, have been too shy before, to my detriment in the end.
42. What's the stupidest thing u have ever done? Last night, I discovered why it is a bad idea to run up the stairs in the dark. You'd think I'd learnt my lesson after my last experience running in the dark o_O
43. Do u like scary or happy movies better? Happy movies in general, so long as they’re not flooded with the pathetic saccharine Hollywood ideal of life.
44. On the phone or in person? Definitely prefer sex in person.
45. Summer or winter? Summer, best memories always seem to occurr then.
46. Hugs or kisses? Kisses.
47. Have you ever stalked someone? Muahaha...*ahem* of course not.
48. Been stalked? Yes, damnit.
49. What type of eyewear are you fond of? Sunglasses.
50. What's your most cherished street sign? Building site safety sign saying "Head protection must be worn" now altered to read "When giving head, protection must be worn."
51. What lengths would you go to in order to obtain aforementioned sign? It's rather amusing where it is.
52. Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Hypothesis: the proliferation of rainbow songs coincided with the invention of acid trips.
53. What do vacuums make you think of? That goldfish can be removed from a fishtank with a dust buster. I have yet to conduct the experiment but will do so in the near future with enthusiasm. Does anyone own any fish?
54. Do you save meaningless slips of paper and stuff them in oblong jars under your bed? As they’re not meaningless, no.
55. What's in your closet? Furry leopard print leg and arm warmers. And a tail. Flashdance here I come.
56. What color are your shoe-laces? Grey, black, brown, white.
57. Are you of this age? Nope, I’m originally from a colony on the sixth planet orbiting Alpha Centuri. I came back in time to hunt down and assassinate the telly-tubbies before they could complete their plan of world domination, and bring about the end of our planet.
58. What is the bestest fruitopia flavor? Apple, strawberry and kiwi.
59. Would you pay to hear Michael Jackson speak at a seminar with Rabbi Shmuleach on child rearing? Would anyone? Seriously?
60. No shoes? No shirt? No credit? Bet your pants.
61. Have you ever purchased metal (chain mail, etc, *not* metallic) underwear? No, apart from the fact they haven’t been around since the 1300s. It would be the sensation of having your pubic hairs caught in the elastic of your knickers times 1000, and it would chafe something chronic.
62. What if, what is this ain't true? If some Jabberwocks are Snarks, and some Snarks are Boojums, then some Jabberwocks are definitely Boojums. True or False? False, because Jabberwocks are not Snarks.
63. What's the most you can drink in one sitting? Never attempted to get comatose, so I don’t yet know.
64. Who killed Bambi? Hollywood. One of natures great tragedies: High with the fame he found in Hollywood, he started demanding a higher salary until the movie execs refused to star him any more. Disillusioned, he turned to alcohol and prostitution to keep up a steady income. In pity, Walt Disney managed to get his fallen star a job as the Big Wheel operator in one of his theme parks, but then the poor kid was too far gone on dope and crack to care anymore. One day in a drunken haze he accidentally walked in the wrong door thinking it was the toilet and ended his days being sold as burger meat to McDonalds. Thumper, who had established a successful career as a transvestite crack whore and Bambi’s former pimp, was the prime suspect during the investigation but the case was shelved due to lack of evidence. A sad, sad end for this tragic hero.
65. Have you ever become strangely aroused while contemplating the wording of certain physics problems? Ahem, no comment.
66. How many unfinished stories/novels/plays have you written in the past year? None this year. A number of previous unfinished works exist though and at this rate they’re likely to stay that way
67. Would you rather eat a dead baby burger or a McDonalds breakfast sandwich? Is there a difference? Well, the dead baby burger probably has all natural ingredients so it would be healthier for you.
68. Is property theft? Only if you steal it?
69. What's your special area? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
70. How long do you keep those roses before they go in the trash? When they start to act like Audrey II from the Little Shop of Horrors.
71. And when there is no hope ________: you’re better off in a grave.
72. Would you try crack *once*? No. But kremlyn informs me that I should change this answer to "Funny that. See, I snorted a line before starting this quizzle." Thanks Rob :P
73. In your vision of a perfect world....where do you live? A house I designed in Canada or Tuscany. Or maybe just really cool apartment in Sydney or Melbourne.
74. Who do you sleep with? Myself, sometimes a cat.
75. How many one legged amish hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? The amish don’t use electricity.
76. What's on the wall in front of you? a tiger calendar, and a caricature of the Star Wars Episode 1 characters at an MTV party by Stephanie Lostimolo. Soon to be added: "In Search of Lost Wings" poster by Merekat and Piro (Magda: thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou)
77. What kind of coffee/tea do you guzzle inordinately? Vending machine kind at uni.
78. What are you looking for? The sock my cat tried to eat last Thursday.
79. What's the most you've ever ran up your phone bill to? Around $60 I think.
80. Name any of your guilty secrets [or ex-guilty secrets or guilty ex-secrets]: Meh, I tend to run away and hide from all my problems.
81. I met your children, what did you tell them? That Santa Claus is dead.
82. Who is your main alter ego? Super Snark: faster than a speeding rodent, able to leap tall chairs in a single bound!
83. What's the Sand Bar? Place where all the little crustaceans go to get drunk and have a good time.
84. When you think of someone who "should've been an abortion," what's the first name that comes to mind? Someone, who luckily for him, lives quite far away or I'd be inclined to slowly garrot him while rabid weasels feasted on his naked body.
85. Why did the monkey fall out of a tree? He jumped! I swear! The weasel had nothing to do with it!
86. What's the most time you've "lost" in one night? According to one journal post early in December, I managed to lose one whole Saturday. And that was without the assistance of alcohol. Do this be senility creeping in?
87. You wouldn't happen to have any power tools? Not personally, but I can obtain some if necessary
88. What happens when the lights go out? I poke someone. They jump and scream. I laugh.
89. Why should we buy postage stamps? They’re fun to lick and stick to your face. Try it.
90. What's that noise? The voices in my head telling me to strangle the neighbours kids.
91. Where *do* all the broken people go? They all get parts as extras on home and away.
92. Have you ever left class/work/obligations in order to stare at a body of water? Yes if I feel the need to think.
93. What are you waiting for? Life to actually get interesting. And for Elmo to reveal he’s gay and run off with Kermit the frog.
94. What's the strangest hallucination you've ever had? Occurred once when I was seriously jetlagged: felt like I was floating high up in the atmosphere, looking down on a cataclysmic war set in the middle ages or something. One side was blue, one side was yellow. Everyone was dying so I willed them to stop, they heard my thoughts and took off after me, both sides, scared the shit out of me. Weirdest thing was I was awake ad lying on my bed at the time, looking up. Eventually it got so bad I screamed and sprinted out of the room. Took quite a while to calm me down because I could still see them and everyone just thought it was a nightmare.
95. Where's the warrior without his pride? A shadowy figure of the underworld.
96. Do you keep your brains on ice? Best served chilled with a side of spicy plum sauce.
97. What's the sexiest snack food? chocolate
98. Should people with leprosy and a past history of psychosis be allowed to teach our children? It can’t screw up the education system any more than it already is, so why not.
99. Which of the ten commandments have you broken? 3, 4, 5, 8 & 10
--------------------------
Juvenile I know, but I was bored. Yay.
1. What is your name? Stephanie
2. What colour pants are you wearing right now? Dark blue denim
3. What song are u listening to right now? As aforementioned.
4. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 2703
5. What was the last thing u ate? Corn chips and salsa
6. If u were a crayon, what colour would u want to be? My first thought would be red, but I think I'd go with black because you know black would be used the most. I'd like to be a crayon slut.
7. What's your favorite fingernail polish color? Pink
8. Do you dig the Ramones? Nope, but it’s cool music to gyrate drunkenly to.
9. Have you ever bought that novelty pasta with the silly shapes? No, but squidgy when eaten.
10. What's your deal on needles? $5 per dozen
11. Gravity: sucks
12. Where do u want to go on your honeymoon? Vienna, Tuscany, or somewhere else in Europe. But as long as the bed is comfortable...
13. Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with? Friends. And myself, which is kinda lucky I guess.
14. How is the weather right now? Cool, but humid. Lots of sunshine. Wonderful BBQ weather.
15. Last person u talked to on the phone? A Phone survey about sex and drugs. I should screen my calls more thoroughly, I’m not entirely sure he was legit.
16. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Physique and face.
17. How are you today? So very tired.
18. Your fave drink? Non-Alcoholic? Fruit smoothies.
19. Alcoholic: Cowboys.
20. How do u eat an Oreo? Stupid American question. Stick it in your mouth and masticate.
21. Favourite sport? Basketball and ice hockey.
22. What makes u happy? Having fun with my friends, lots of music, preferably getting blind, possibly dancing involved.
23. What's the next CD you're gonna get? Well, if I actually bought CDs still instead of downloading, I think it would have to be The Cat Empire.
24. Hair colour? Light brown
25. Eye colour? Grey
26. Height? 174 cm
27. Do u wear contacts? No, just call them sometimes.
28. Siblings and their ages? Michelle, 19.
29. Who do u consider your close friends? Rebecca, Jenny, Jacqui, Magda, Yen.
30. What do u like to do? Take a crap in the morning.
31. What's the best advice given to u? "Regret something you did, rather than regret not trying." I haven’t been able to follow that creed particularly well though.
32. Have u ever won any special awards? Depends on the definition of special.
33. What are your future goals? Discover my passion in life. Follow it without looking back.
34. Fave music? Stuff with lyrics preferably. But none of this RnB crap.
35. Fave food? Pumpkin pie. Mmmmmmmm...snarkilicious.
36. Fave movies? Star Wars (the original trilogy thankyou, the new ones made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon), The Matrix, Dogma, Sleepy Hollow, Akira, Cowboy Bebop, Quills, Ghost in the Shell, Castle of Cagliostro, Mulan, Human Traffic, Back to the Future Trilogy... the list goes on.
37. Fave day of the year? Christmas
38. Fave month? Eeenie meenie minie moe... April.
39. Fave cheese? Any particularly gooey kind.
40. Do u like to dance? ya they were dancin', and singin', and movin' 2 the groovin', and just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted:
Play that funky music white boy
play that funky music right
Play that funky music white boy
Lay down the boogie
and play that funky music till you die
41. Are u shy to ask someone out? Yes, have been too shy before, to my detriment in the end.
42. What's the stupidest thing u have ever done? Last night, I discovered why it is a bad idea to run up the stairs in the dark. You'd think I'd learnt my lesson after my last experience running in the dark o_O
43. Do u like scary or happy movies better? Happy movies in general, so long as they’re not flooded with the pathetic saccharine Hollywood ideal of life.
44. On the phone or in person? Definitely prefer sex in person.
45. Summer or winter? Summer, best memories always seem to occurr then.
46. Hugs or kisses? Kisses.
47. Have you ever stalked someone? Muahaha...*ahem* of course not.
48. Been stalked? Yes, damnit.
49. What type of eyewear are you fond of? Sunglasses.
50. What's your most cherished street sign? Building site safety sign saying "Head protection must be worn" now altered to read "When giving head, protection must be worn."
51. What lengths would you go to in order to obtain aforementioned sign? It's rather amusing where it is.
52. Why are there so many songs about rainbows? Hypothesis: the proliferation of rainbow songs coincided with the invention of acid trips.
53. What do vacuums make you think of? That goldfish can be removed from a fishtank with a dust buster. I have yet to conduct the experiment but will do so in the near future with enthusiasm. Does anyone own any fish?
54. Do you save meaningless slips of paper and stuff them in oblong jars under your bed? As they’re not meaningless, no.
55. What's in your closet? Furry leopard print leg and arm warmers. And a tail. Flashdance here I come.
56. What color are your shoe-laces? Grey, black, brown, white.
57. Are you of this age? Nope, I’m originally from a colony on the sixth planet orbiting Alpha Centuri. I came back in time to hunt down and assassinate the telly-tubbies before they could complete their plan of world domination, and bring about the end of our planet.
58. What is the bestest fruitopia flavor? Apple, strawberry and kiwi.
59. Would you pay to hear Michael Jackson speak at a seminar with Rabbi Shmuleach on child rearing? Would anyone? Seriously?
60. No shoes? No shirt? No credit? Bet your pants.
61. Have you ever purchased metal (chain mail, etc, *not* metallic) underwear? No, apart from the fact they haven’t been around since the 1300s. It would be the sensation of having your pubic hairs caught in the elastic of your knickers times 1000, and it would chafe something chronic.
62. What if, what is this ain't true? If some Jabberwocks are Snarks, and some Snarks are Boojums, then some Jabberwocks are definitely Boojums. True or False? False, because Jabberwocks are not Snarks.
63. What's the most you can drink in one sitting? Never attempted to get comatose, so I don’t yet know.
64. Who killed Bambi? Hollywood. One of natures great tragedies: High with the fame he found in Hollywood, he started demanding a higher salary until the movie execs refused to star him any more. Disillusioned, he turned to alcohol and prostitution to keep up a steady income. In pity, Walt Disney managed to get his fallen star a job as the Big Wheel operator in one of his theme parks, but then the poor kid was too far gone on dope and crack to care anymore. One day in a drunken haze he accidentally walked in the wrong door thinking it was the toilet and ended his days being sold as burger meat to McDonalds. Thumper, who had established a successful career as a transvestite crack whore and Bambi’s former pimp, was the prime suspect during the investigation but the case was shelved due to lack of evidence. A sad, sad end for this tragic hero.
65. Have you ever become strangely aroused while contemplating the wording of certain physics problems? Ahem, no comment.
66. How many unfinished stories/novels/plays have you written in the past year? None this year. A number of previous unfinished works exist though and at this rate they’re likely to stay that way
67. Would you rather eat a dead baby burger or a McDonalds breakfast sandwich? Is there a difference? Well, the dead baby burger probably has all natural ingredients so it would be healthier for you.
68. Is property theft? Only if you steal it?
69. What's your special area? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
70. How long do you keep those roses before they go in the trash? When they start to act like Audrey II from the Little Shop of Horrors.
71. And when there is no hope ________: you’re better off in a grave.
72. Would you try crack *once*? No. But kremlyn informs me that I should change this answer to "Funny that. See, I snorted a line before starting this quizzle." Thanks Rob :P
73. In your vision of a perfect world....where do you live? A house I designed in Canada or Tuscany. Or maybe just really cool apartment in Sydney or Melbourne.
74. Who do you sleep with? Myself, sometimes a cat.
75. How many one legged amish hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? The amish don’t use electricity.
76. What's on the wall in front of you? a tiger calendar, and a caricature of the Star Wars Episode 1 characters at an MTV party by Stephanie Lostimolo. Soon to be added: "In Search of Lost Wings" poster by Merekat and Piro (Magda: thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou)
77. What kind of coffee/tea do you guzzle inordinately? Vending machine kind at uni.
78. What are you looking for? The sock my cat tried to eat last Thursday.
79. What's the most you've ever ran up your phone bill to? Around $60 I think.
80. Name any of your guilty secrets [or ex-guilty secrets or guilty ex-secrets]: Meh, I tend to run away and hide from all my problems.
81. I met your children, what did you tell them? That Santa Claus is dead.
82. Who is your main alter ego? Super Snark: faster than a speeding rodent, able to leap tall chairs in a single bound!
83. What's the Sand Bar? Place where all the little crustaceans go to get drunk and have a good time.
84. When you think of someone who "should've been an abortion," what's the first name that comes to mind? Someone, who luckily for him, lives quite far away or I'd be inclined to slowly garrot him while rabid weasels feasted on his naked body.
85. Why did the monkey fall out of a tree? He jumped! I swear! The weasel had nothing to do with it!
86. What's the most time you've "lost" in one night? According to one journal post early in December, I managed to lose one whole Saturday. And that was without the assistance of alcohol. Do this be senility creeping in?
87. You wouldn't happen to have any power tools? Not personally, but I can obtain some if necessary
88. What happens when the lights go out? I poke someone. They jump and scream. I laugh.
89. Why should we buy postage stamps? They’re fun to lick and stick to your face. Try it.
90. What's that noise? The voices in my head telling me to strangle the neighbours kids.
91. Where *do* all the broken people go? They all get parts as extras on home and away.
92. Have you ever left class/work/obligations in order to stare at a body of water? Yes if I feel the need to think.
93. What are you waiting for? Life to actually get interesting. And for Elmo to reveal he’s gay and run off with Kermit the frog.
94. What's the strangest hallucination you've ever had? Occurred once when I was seriously jetlagged: felt like I was floating high up in the atmosphere, looking down on a cataclysmic war set in the middle ages or something. One side was blue, one side was yellow. Everyone was dying so I willed them to stop, they heard my thoughts and took off after me, both sides, scared the shit out of me. Weirdest thing was I was awake ad lying on my bed at the time, looking up. Eventually it got so bad I screamed and sprinted out of the room. Took quite a while to calm me down because I could still see them and everyone just thought it was a nightmare.
95. Where's the warrior without his pride? A shadowy figure of the underworld.
96. Do you keep your brains on ice? Best served chilled with a side of spicy plum sauce.
97. What's the sexiest snack food? chocolate
98. Should people with leprosy and a past history of psychosis be allowed to teach our children? It can’t screw up the education system any more than it already is, so why not.
99. Which of the ten commandments have you broken? 3, 4, 5, 8 & 10
--------------------------
Juvenile I know, but I was bored. Yay.