(no subject)
I am going to just make the general assumption that someone, besides myself of course, will read this and want to know since some of you, surprisingly still have me in your feeds.
I married a Marine named Devon Evans on May 21, 2011 and it was by far the best decision I have ever made, regardless of all the hardships he and I have endured together in the past, and are still enduring due to past choices. However, the Marine Corp. has drastically damaged us both, perhaps permanently.
I was friends with Devon through church before he signed on "the final dotted line". He had begun signing the preliminaries but could have possibly gotten out of it while we were still friends. Everyone told him not to go Marines, that he wasn't "cut out to be a Marine", that he was "too intelligent to throw his life away being a stupid brute". The more people told him not to go, the more determined he was to go anyway. He had been told by his father that he could "never cut it in a real mans world" so to prove his father wrong, he thought of the most impossible thing he could ever do... and landed on joining the Marine Corp. and succeeding. I realized that it was his decision long before we became involved, and as such I supported him in his decision no matter the outcome. I knew it wasn't my job to second guess his decisions, that my job was to support him, hold him up and help him so by the time we started going together about a month before he was sent out to boot camp, I knew I was in for a wild ride and that my only decision in the matter was to stick to him like glue. I knew that my involvement would be the only thing to get him through boot camp, because by then I knew him pretty well. I was right... and that isn't me taking credit for something that isnt mine to take credit for... that is the legit honest to God truth.
Devon will readily tell anyone who asks that I am the only reason he made it through those grueling 3-months. He and I knew we were meant to be something more and that there was a high probability of eventual marriage so keeping this thought in mind and trying his best to focus on my daily letters, ignoring the hate talk and emotional manipulation used by the Drill Instructors... It wasnt easy, the DI's continually using any "dirt" they could get on the boys to try to break them. One of their favorite "soft spots" was the girlfriends and wives back home. Telling them that their women were cheating on them, wouldn't want them when they got out, that we never truly loved the boys we were committed to... and it ate away at those boys. After being told every day for 3-months that your girlfriend/fiance'/wife is cheating and doesnt love you anymore... they begin to question things.
The only way my husband held on was to steal a short time every night under his wool blankets with his flashlight set to red and read my letters again and again. I was not a good letter writer. I did not handle his boot camp absence well, when you see the "obsessive girlfriend" comic... its no joke, that was me but I tried and I continually told and re-told him that I wasnt cheating. However when I told him all of that in the letters I had no idea the drill instructors had been saying those awful things or just how much he needed to hear my re-assurances.
My mother, his parents and I went to San Diego to see his graduation and bring him home. That was one of the hardest, scariest things I've ever done because I knew my man had changed.
I had been told by everyone that he would be changed, but I had no idea (and neither did anyone else) of just how he would be changed. Instead of changed in a good way, it was in the most paranoid and scared way possible. One of his best friends from high school also had enlisted and served his boot camp time with Devon, then we were stationed on Pendleton together. Brandon later talked to me about just how bad it truly was, because Devon wouldnt talk about it.
While in boot camp on MCRD, unbeknownst to me the "kill hat" (DI who's entire job is to be as mean as possible to any recruit he can get his claws into) had zeroed in on my Devo and incessantly chose to use him for the center of his torture. He had even been ordered by his superior officer to cease the hazing on my husband and he chose to disobey that direct order to continue hazing him in 108*F California heat, on the black top behind the barracks. The kill hat had turned it into a daily routine, and actually caused my husband to go into heat stroke and severe dehydration. The excessive hazing eventually caused Devon to be admitted into the traveling medical unit, when he collapsed from dehydration. Normally that specific traveling unit is for wrapping sprained ankles, putting band-aids on scrapes etc. They were poorly equipped to handle an emergency of Devons severity, and Devon got in trouble for even being there. His corpman stood up for him, and he wouldn't have been admitted if it wasn't a life or death situation. He was there for 48-hours and the corpman couldn't set the IV initially. They had to poke him 19 times, and had the IV wide open for all of 12-hours before slowing it down.
He claimed he wasnt feeling any effects from his treatment while on MCRD... but I now believe that this isn't the case. After boot, he didn't know how to talk, how to walk, how to move for fear of being yelled at. He had been yelled at so often, he couldn't even eat. Considering all of this, it is really no wonder that he had lost over 25lbs and was nothing but skin and bones, and that he later developed Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, that the doctors wouldn't admit to so the Marines wouldnt have to pay for any post-service treatment.
His MCT (combat training) was on Camp Pendleton, so I had to put him on another plane. This was also one of the most difficult things I've ever done... neither of us could let go. He had to walk away or miss his plane... and swore he would never walk away from me ever again. I did not understand how true this promise would become. From then on, every time he had to leave, I had to be the one to walk away.
His MOS (Method of service) was served on Camp Lejeune, where he earned an Electrical Engineering degree, was in the top 3 of his class and earned high recommendations from all of his instructors. However, as good as he did in his MOS training he was under an incredible amount of stress and as generally happens when a group of men are under stress... fights broke out. His Staff Sergeant got fed up and called for an unofficial fight pit. It was against the rules, there should have been a corpsman present in the event of injuries. Because there wasnt, when Devon was thrown over another Marines shoulder landing on his head then being pinned under 3 other men he sustained what I believe to have been a concussion. Within 12-hours Devon's personality changed. He became very angry, snappy, complained of headaches, double vision etc. the SSGT who authorized the fight refused to allow Devon to go to medical because he knew if he did that he would get into a LOT of trouble. Because treatment was refused, Devon's concussion and injuries were never documented which later caused a whole lot of problems later.
I believe that all of these events, and the realization (to him) that everyone except me, Brandon and a handful of other friends all hated him, would sooner cut his throat than help him with anything and that his command was the 3rd worst on the entire base... all snowballed to eventually cause PTSD, and a mental break down resulting in severe anxiety episodes directed at work, which are still with us today preventing him from holding down a job. Many of his symptoms still remain, and the fact that we are out, and back home in Indiana is literally nothing except a miracle directly from God and all his angels
During the year we were in California, I was hell on wheels, and psychotically protective of Devon, even to the point of taking on his Chief Warrent Officer during the first 5-weeks of our being stationed there. Devon was eventually taken away from me and placed on barracks restriction, but not until after we went through two psychologists, a week long hospital stay in the mental health ward of a civilian hospital (which by only a miracle the Naval hospital was full and they had to look into civilian mental health facilities), and all of his command knew me on sight and on a first name basis
We were on the base for 5-weeks when his episodes presented, and continued to present on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times throughout the day giving the impression that the episode never ended. Some of the episodes even continued after he was asleep.
Initially the episodes were scary because neither he nor I knew what was happening and why he was hyperventilating, pulling into the fetal position, incapable of communicating except through squeezing my hand, incapable of following commands in even the most minor of episodes, or hearing when people talked to him when he was all the way under. Also incapable of letting me go, grabbing for me violently like a drowning man and as if I were the only thing keeping him from succuming.
Devon was discharged from the Marines with an "Other Than Honorable Discharge" on April 23, 2012. He was assigned that level of discharge because we decided it was more important to get home to our families where I would have others to help me with him than to remain to try and fight for the benefits that he would probably not receive even if we did fight for them due to the order to discharge all personel with as low a discharge as possible due to Obama's spending cuts directed at the military
Since its now been over 6-months since being discharged, if we chose we can file the paperwork necessary to get him a medical discharge since the Marine Corp. caused his anxiety episodes. However, due to the large amount of men & women who've been discharged under the inappropriate level, that there are so many trying to change their discharge that it will take 15 to 20-years to get any results, and even after pursuing it we still probably wouldnt get it
Considering all of the factors in play, we have decided to not pursue it because although he isn't OK, he is getting more OK with every day (an episode once every 15 to 18 days vs. mutiple episodes every day) and we believe that he was not being given the proper level of care necessary to find out what is wrong with him. While being treated on base there were times when his psychologists would share information with his command that they were not privy to, doctors who wouldnt give him the care he deserved once they realized his rank... things like that.
Throughout all of this... I have continued to love our country, despite the hardships which we have endured at the hands of the USMC. In fact I love it more than most people can comprehend it seems. Many people expect us to hate the USMC... but I dont. I hate the lack of morals, character, compassion and understanding, however... I don't hate what the Marines stand for nor the country which they serve.
My father served in the Air Force for 15-years... he raised me to love and respect our country, regardless of the mistakes our people make... or the mistakes made on the part of our president