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Jun 30, 2005 01:54

Ho hum. It is late and it is dark outside and the moonis shining ever so bright. There were heavy showers today that reminded me of those times when you turn the tap on to fast and the water splurts everyware. The pave ment was slicked liwith the water turning grey stones into a glazed black tiles. It was prety cool to see tough it meant I couldn't run. i think i'll start tunning in the basement. It is hard to understand my mom sometimes. Ikeep on pushing her buit it mever... somedays she is willing to fly at me and Amrita(note this is usally when there is some sort of party coming up imortant person arriving or trip) and there are other days when me and Amrita can seem to do anything and it won't matter.

Sleep sleep . I'm tired and I'm writing this in the middle of the night becuase I told my self I would try to keep and updated journal. Pshaw and fiddle stks and Pish tosh (damn their are are a lot of words for nonsense). I don't need to update the jounral but I think I just realized the meaning of irny where you can think of more words to talk of nonsense than you can find to talk of sense. Maybe that is why so many kids are able to bull shit n their papers. I have atheory that bullshitting (or the art of getting a good grade a paper when you have not read the assignment, looked at the textbook or payed much attention in class) is that you give the answer that you think the teacher is looking for. If your teacher asks you what the main charchtar feels about war you know the story is based by someone who later wen t on peace rallies no duh you make your whole piece on how the war was bad. What things did the teacher emphaisexe in the class and just keep on using tose terms over and over again.

On the other hand talking what is in your mind mind puttng your onw personal thoughts ideas on paper of exactly hwat you mean to say sometimes appears to be hharder. Not the "trying to get an image across" or the "trying not to convince you my point is correct" but the "this is how I feel about this topic, this picture this painting" in a non pugnacius manner. becuase to try to talk that your own ideas are beutful without the feel that you are combatting someone whose thoughts are wose" "inferior" doesn't seem to work.Eeni don't mean having all your friends agee with you and sharing the same opinion. i mean saring the opinion as a person moving and livng.

i wonder how it is to totally be indpendent. If just for a week I thinki would like toexperience it. Total indpence when you finally get indpendence you no longer want it or you long to be home.I feel I should get a taste test before I receive this indpence. i feel so smoohthered and even though my parents mean well I feel like I am being clenched through a seive.
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