yup, uh huh, whatever... ok...
It is just one of those times where I feel like things are always in a cycle. At one point they are coming out of a slump and gradually getting better and then they are optimal... they are untouchable, or so i wish... then one bad thing sets off the rest and kaboom... there it is just like a recession. I guess I am not too far off in relating my life to the economy. It is similar in some ways I guess... except I am by no means controlled by money... well in some ways I guess I have to be.. but whatever.
So things are weird. I am just trying to do my best in so many areas of my life... and it seems like the people that I rely on the most for support aren't there when I truly need them. I know many people that I consider to be very good, unselfish people... but I have now know that even they have a selfish side. Everyone does... but it always seem to strike at the most inopportuned time. Its just not very fun to come back from a long day of school work, TO a long night of homework PLUS friends that cant seem to agree with you let alone support you for something that you feel is right in your heart. I am not just talking about one friend either... its so many people that tell you the same thing. And no one knows half as much about the situation as you do because they cant have the same feelings as you do. So its really frustrating to be judged instead of supported. But, like I said... yup, uh huh... whatever...
Ok.. so Its not that I am extremely ANGRY at people right now... Im just disappointed in a lot of things that I had hoped would be better. I hoped for the closeness of friendships without any bias. And right now that is impossible. I dont know anyone that I can talk to about things without them somehow putting themselves into the situation, even if it doesnt involve them!!! Its just soo frustrating, especially when some of these people claim that they just care about me and want me to be happy... and that they just appreciate our friendship and want it to be good. Then why would they be unsupportive? Its just frustrating to deal with. I guess in a way, it might be my fault for having so many guy friends who I guess cant understand as well as a girl might. But the only REAL girlfriends I have are heather, becky, and andrea. All three of which I can hardly see... one of which I RARELY even talk to,,.. and the other who is completely buried in a cloud-9 relationship bubble. I just miss them.. and want more girlfriends but they are so hard to come by... because too many of them are fake. I cant STAND fake people, especially fake girls. Augh,... how irritating.
Well its off to do work, as usual. I am glad I get to go home tomorrow... Kaylee should brighten my spirits.
So things are weird. I am just trying to do my best in so many areas of my life... and it seems like the people that I rely on the most for support aren't there when I truly need them. I know many people that I consider to be very good, unselfish people... but I have now know that even they have a selfish side. Everyone does... but it always seem to strike at the most inopportuned time. Its just not very fun to come back from a long day of school work, TO a long night of homework PLUS friends that cant seem to agree with you let alone support you for something that you feel is right in your heart. I am not just talking about one friend either... its so many people that tell you the same thing. And no one knows half as much about the situation as you do because they cant have the same feelings as you do. So its really frustrating to be judged instead of supported. But, like I said... yup, uh huh... whatever...
Ok.. so Its not that I am extremely ANGRY at people right now... Im just disappointed in a lot of things that I had hoped would be better. I hoped for the closeness of friendships without any bias. And right now that is impossible. I dont know anyone that I can talk to about things without them somehow putting themselves into the situation, even if it doesnt involve them!!! Its just soo frustrating, especially when some of these people claim that they just care about me and want me to be happy... and that they just appreciate our friendship and want it to be good. Then why would they be unsupportive? Its just frustrating to deal with. I guess in a way, it might be my fault for having so many guy friends who I guess cant understand as well as a girl might. But the only REAL girlfriends I have are heather, becky, and andrea. All three of which I can hardly see... one of which I RARELY even talk to,,.. and the other who is completely buried in a cloud-9 relationship bubble. I just miss them.. and want more girlfriends but they are so hard to come by... because too many of them are fake. I cant STAND fake people, especially fake girls. Augh,... how irritating.
Well its off to do work, as usual. I am glad I get to go home tomorrow... Kaylee should brighten my spirits.