Could be worse
Almost. I think that is the single word that defines the start of 2014.
While not bad perse, a lot of my efforts tend to end up on the 'good enough' pile instead of the 'just right' pile, and it is wearing on me. I am used to the luxury that if I put my mind to something stuff starts rolling and generally improves for all involved. Lately this has been only marginally so.
Work is proceeding apace, but I have realized that the actual technical challenge is gone. I find my joy in the overall process and not the nitty gritty of figuring stuff out. It represents a change, and an internal shift in priorities. I don't know what to do with it yet, but I have communicated it to my collegues and HR reps. Their advice has so far been useful and I hope to start seeing results in a few weeks.
Larp experiences have been a bit mjeh. It is the 'long dark' of winter, and there are few things to do at the moment with existing characters - some things were moved, some stuff is still in the planning stages with endless suggested and counter-suggested dates. After all was said and done my first player experience with one of my 'mains' will be in April - which is simply too fracking late.
If I had realized that earlier I would've see if I could've picked something up, but early Januari it still looked like February would see at least one special, potentially two. That'll teach me for keeping stuff into account. There is a failure in communication here and there, but I feel that I have reached the limit of what I can reasonably be expected to do as 'just another participant' in order to get things on the road. For me to start doing more will likely be deemed unwelcome at best and treated as hostile at worst.
Some of the stuff I've been working on in the background has tipped the 'work' needed to keep a character up and running from 'totally worth it' to 'I will start doing stuff again when I have a confirmed date'. This is severally impacted one of my favorite timesink passtimes. I miss the click of limitless brainstorming and just letting our imagination run wild, and I miss just being able to have that good clean fun with my friends. I just can't justify spending the amount of time that I would like right now, especially as results are middling at best. End of the month will luckily see Doodspoor, where I am an NPC and I should see loads of friends there. I need it. Too much crap throwing up interference right now to properly enjoy it. Thank Caine for Nocturne which keeps my larp-muscles from growing too stale...
Tabletop is still going awesome. I've got no complaining about that unless Karrad Vall blows up our ship or my own players decide to play a game of Thermo Nuclear War... I am surprisingly happy with my 'vote with your wallet' policy in regards to computer games and Games Workshop products. You can rant about not agreeing with business decisions, or you can vote with your wallet. Lots more relaxing and more money for other shinies ;-)
The personal plan for the year, both for me as for Lies & moi as a couple will need to change. There was a plan, and now we'll need a new one. We'll make it work, prolly - but it is less then ideal. We have done what we could and the rest is in the hands of others. Here's to some luck. While I have been able to re-build my food discipline I find that it takes a disproportionate amount of brainspace to start building a healthier me. Already starting with a less of my usual chipper self is making it so much harder to keep going.
All of this combined makes me a bit of a mjeh panda. Wouldn't call it sad. I've got it pretty good and I should keep that foremost in my mind. It is simply that those things that I consider emotionally important to me are all firmly entrenched in the 'less then ideal' category. Most of this is noticable is that I am mostly retro-gaming, and then mostly single player. After my day I find that talking to people about stuff that I am not looking forward to is taxing beyond belief.
Things will look up. Its just a bit of a pit right now. I'll dig myself out giving some time and some fun stuff. Barring that, I believe a few people at Doodspoor feel like some decent nerf skirmishing.
While not bad perse, a lot of my efforts tend to end up on the 'good enough' pile instead of the 'just right' pile, and it is wearing on me. I am used to the luxury that if I put my mind to something stuff starts rolling and generally improves for all involved. Lately this has been only marginally so.
Work is proceeding apace, but I have realized that the actual technical challenge is gone. I find my joy in the overall process and not the nitty gritty of figuring stuff out. It represents a change, and an internal shift in priorities. I don't know what to do with it yet, but I have communicated it to my collegues and HR reps. Their advice has so far been useful and I hope to start seeing results in a few weeks.
Larp experiences have been a bit mjeh. It is the 'long dark' of winter, and there are few things to do at the moment with existing characters - some things were moved, some stuff is still in the planning stages with endless suggested and counter-suggested dates. After all was said and done my first player experience with one of my 'mains' will be in April - which is simply too fracking late.
If I had realized that earlier I would've see if I could've picked something up, but early Januari it still looked like February would see at least one special, potentially two. That'll teach me for keeping stuff into account. There is a failure in communication here and there, but I feel that I have reached the limit of what I can reasonably be expected to do as 'just another participant' in order to get things on the road. For me to start doing more will likely be deemed unwelcome at best and treated as hostile at worst.
Some of the stuff I've been working on in the background has tipped the 'work' needed to keep a character up and running from 'totally worth it' to 'I will start doing stuff again when I have a confirmed date'. This is severally impacted one of my favorite timesink passtimes. I miss the click of limitless brainstorming and just letting our imagination run wild, and I miss just being able to have that good clean fun with my friends. I just can't justify spending the amount of time that I would like right now, especially as results are middling at best. End of the month will luckily see Doodspoor, where I am an NPC and I should see loads of friends there. I need it. Too much crap throwing up interference right now to properly enjoy it. Thank Caine for Nocturne which keeps my larp-muscles from growing too stale...
Tabletop is still going awesome. I've got no complaining about that unless Karrad Vall blows up our ship or my own players decide to play a game of Thermo Nuclear War... I am surprisingly happy with my 'vote with your wallet' policy in regards to computer games and Games Workshop products. You can rant about not agreeing with business decisions, or you can vote with your wallet. Lots more relaxing and more money for other shinies ;-)
The personal plan for the year, both for me as for Lies & moi as a couple will need to change. There was a plan, and now we'll need a new one. We'll make it work, prolly - but it is less then ideal. We have done what we could and the rest is in the hands of others. Here's to some luck. While I have been able to re-build my food discipline I find that it takes a disproportionate amount of brainspace to start building a healthier me. Already starting with a less of my usual chipper self is making it so much harder to keep going.
All of this combined makes me a bit of a mjeh panda. Wouldn't call it sad. I've got it pretty good and I should keep that foremost in my mind. It is simply that those things that I consider emotionally important to me are all firmly entrenched in the 'less then ideal' category. Most of this is noticable is that I am mostly retro-gaming, and then mostly single player. After my day I find that talking to people about stuff that I am not looking forward to is taxing beyond belief.
Things will look up. Its just a bit of a pit right now. I'll dig myself out giving some time and some fun stuff. Barring that, I believe a few people at Doodspoor feel like some decent nerf skirmishing.