Powder
I found out tonight that someone I used to date (though he would never admit it back then) just had twin daughters. I had no idea that he was even in a relationship - perhaps he is not, but I am quite bewildered by the news either way. The last time I saw Paul was during spring two years ago. We met for coffee on a Saturday morning. Now, at that point we were hardly friends, but I do so lament that fact. Despite everything that happened, I always enjoyed him as a person. He might have been impossible sometimes - detached, insincere, unreasonable - but I am not so jaded that I must not reflect fondly on that brief tenure when we were very close. He hid his heart then, and he is doing much the same now. In a text he said to me: "I'm proud but the world doesn't need to know." He is such an ironical character in my life. He can be bombastic, cocky, and indifferent to what anyone may think of him, yet whenever he experiences something like falling in love or having a baby, he will go out of his way to appear unmoved and disaffected. It is an utter facade and it's frustrating to watch; I find it endlessly annoying when people resort to social bluffs like this. I know some might do it for self-preservation, but what is it we are all so determined to protect? Regardless, I am sincerely happy for him. I know he is going to be a good father.