What He Should Have Said.
What he should have said, if he hadn't been so broody and over-emotional.
The walk upstairs wasn't one that I was looking forward to. It meant walking past the others still lingering in the lobby waiting for me to make some announcement that it was going to be okay. That we were going to stay and fight and that we would see the end of this battle just in time to prepare for the next. I just didn't have it in me anymore. I had seen the anger and hostility. I had witnessed the one woman I had thought I loved bed down with my son, and now I saw her grace us with her presence. Pregnant and all.
My life was no longer difficult, it had become complex beyond reason. It was just a mess of wrong choices and guilt and things that I would never be able to change. I wanted to just make it end. Just slice through all of the tension and the complications with a giant blow to the world. Instead I was leading the one person that I knew was on my side deeper into the complexity.
Faith had agreed to stay. In her there was something that we shared. A common bond perhaps or just the thought that we knew what the meaning of redemption was. We took it in like air, however unneeded and unwanted, it was there all the same.
The door opened and she followed me in. Closing it behind me I tried to shut out the world. Close off the world for those few moments when all that was left was me and Faith. I suppose not a bad way to be. I stood by the door watching as she moved through the room, taking in the surroundings. I made sure it was a room that we had actually cleaned up. She had lived in a prison cell for so long I didn't want her to feel like she was trading in to be trapped again.
She sat on the edge of the bed her brunette hair cascading across her shoulders as she looked up at me. I didn't know what to say. It wasn't like we hadn't been in this situation before. The common strand that tied us together wasn't enough then, but standing there straining to block out the world that betrayed me all I saw was her.
Staying.
I couldn't even think, let alone want to, I just wanted it to fade away. I moved toward her seated on the edge of the bed. My hand found her cheek and brushed upward until it was tangled in her hair. My gaze intent upon her I just looked at her. I wanted to do this, but wasn't sure what it would mean. Did I want it to mean anything, or was I just looking for it to be something other than what I was feeling.
I felt her tip her head toward my forearm and her lips brush upon the flesh. That was all it took. That brief moment of innocent contact. I leaned into her forcing her backwards onto the bed. My mouth trying to find hers in a moment of pure lust and desire.
Even if it wasn't right, it was what I needed.
I needed her.
The walk upstairs wasn't one that I was looking forward to. It meant walking past the others still lingering in the lobby waiting for me to make some announcement that it was going to be okay. That we were going to stay and fight and that we would see the end of this battle just in time to prepare for the next. I just didn't have it in me anymore. I had seen the anger and hostility. I had witnessed the one woman I had thought I loved bed down with my son, and now I saw her grace us with her presence. Pregnant and all.
My life was no longer difficult, it had become complex beyond reason. It was just a mess of wrong choices and guilt and things that I would never be able to change. I wanted to just make it end. Just slice through all of the tension and the complications with a giant blow to the world. Instead I was leading the one person that I knew was on my side deeper into the complexity.
Faith had agreed to stay. In her there was something that we shared. A common bond perhaps or just the thought that we knew what the meaning of redemption was. We took it in like air, however unneeded and unwanted, it was there all the same.
The door opened and she followed me in. Closing it behind me I tried to shut out the world. Close off the world for those few moments when all that was left was me and Faith. I suppose not a bad way to be. I stood by the door watching as she moved through the room, taking in the surroundings. I made sure it was a room that we had actually cleaned up. She had lived in a prison cell for so long I didn't want her to feel like she was trading in to be trapped again.
She sat on the edge of the bed her brunette hair cascading across her shoulders as she looked up at me. I didn't know what to say. It wasn't like we hadn't been in this situation before. The common strand that tied us together wasn't enough then, but standing there straining to block out the world that betrayed me all I saw was her.
Staying.
I couldn't even think, let alone want to, I just wanted it to fade away. I moved toward her seated on the edge of the bed. My hand found her cheek and brushed upward until it was tangled in her hair. My gaze intent upon her I just looked at her. I wanted to do this, but wasn't sure what it would mean. Did I want it to mean anything, or was I just looking for it to be something other than what I was feeling.
I felt her tip her head toward my forearm and her lips brush upon the flesh. That was all it took. That brief moment of innocent contact. I leaned into her forcing her backwards onto the bed. My mouth trying to find hers in a moment of pure lust and desire.
Even if it wasn't right, it was what I needed.
I needed her.