"In Vino Veritas (3/6)" - A Gift for orkyd
Title: In Vino Veritas (Part 3/6: Beer)
Author: i_am_girlfriday
Gift For: orkyd
Summary: Rose reveals to Scorpius why she lost her job in the Department of Mysteries. They drink too much and emotions run high between the former best mates.
Rating: PG-13, eventually R
Warnings: Tame teenage horniness, mentions of Scorpius/OFC and Rose/OMC
Word Count: 4,353
Author's Note: Thank you to my betas, D and T, and B for encouragement.
Most of the first month went by in a blur. When Rose wasn’t teaching she attempted to reconcile with her estranged friends and relatives. Rose sent long letters to her parents and Floo-called several of her cousins. They all inquired about her job, how she was adjusting, and so on, but none of them had the tenacity to ask her if she was on speaking terms with Scorpius yet.
Rose was still adjusting to being around so many people. She found it difficult to focus on conversations and suppress all the feelings that bombarded her senses. Each passing teacher and student emanated unique hopes, hidden feelings, heartfelt wishes, and repressed desires. They were an annoying kind of din to Rose. With great effort she could block them out, but generally she still found it easier to avoid social situations. When she used to work for the Department of Mysteries she reasoned that she should conserve all of her empathic energy for her job where they paid her to hone in on the feelings. But Rose relied on that excuse far too often to get out of family obligations, and her social circle had given up on her long ago. It was a strange experience to be the newest faculty member. All the teachers wanted her to feel welcome and they were constantly inviting her to sit with them at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Rose declined them politely and asked to reschedule for later in the term. She ate most of her meals alone in her quarters or nipped down to the kitchens to steal snacks to get her through the long workday.
By the first Friday in October, Rose began to feel too guilty to decline any more invitations. She agreed to join Lauren, her mentor, in the Great Hall. She hoped she could get through dinner without humiliating herself. As she exited her corridor she bumped into Scorpius. Scorpius wore the same disdainful sneer on his face he'd been sporting every time Rose saw him. They had yet to speak since the Welcoming Feast, instead they just nodded in acknowledgment of the others' presence when they passed on the grounds. They did an odd dance in the deserted corridor. Rose took one step to the right to let Scorpius pass, just as he took a step to the left.
"You go." Rose said as she stepped to the left this time, only to have Scorpius mirror her and step to his right.
"No, you. I insist." Scorpius snapped and gestured gallantly.
Rose rolled her eyes and took two quick steps to the right to put some distance between them. She clasped her hands over her heart and batted her eyelashes dramatically. "And they say chivalry is dead!" She snapped back as she walked away toward the Great Hall.
"Who says that?" Scorpius asked, his tone vicious. Usually Scorpius walked around with a mixture of anger and bitter resentment, but Rose didn’t need her empathic ability to know that. The way he set his mouth, like he had swallowed something particularly vile, told her everything.
Rose turned around awkwardly, tilted her head, and arched an eyebrow. Scorpius’s sneer loosened into a smirk. He laughed first. It broke the awful tension between them and soon Rose couldn't keep back a giggle.
She turned to face him fully. "Merlin's pants, I don't remember the last time I laughed!" Rose admitted. They settled into a comfortable silence.
"So..." Scorpius shoved his hands in his denim pockets.
"So..." Rose pushed a frizzy handful of hair behind her ear.
"Rough first month?"
Rose nodded her head, unsure of how to answer.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Rose shook her head. Talking to Scorpius was the second biggest fear she had been dreading since arriving at Hogwarts. The comfortable silence quickly turned awkward. Rose pursed her lips and willed herself not to get choked up. Her facial muscles could only remain stoic until she cracked a laugh, and then Rose's own emotions would come out like a torrent, usually in tears but always in complete privacy. Rose never let anyone see her break--it’s what made her a force to reckon with in school and in the Department.
"Come on... We used to be friends." Scorpius was apparently ready to stop ignoring the dragon in the castle.
Rose schooled her voice. "That was a long time ago."
"Ten years." Scorpius sighed. "Come on. You can tell me."
As kids Scorpius always knew just what to say to Rose to get her to speak up when he sensed her holding back.
"Come on... We used to tell each other everything."
There was a time when Rose could tell Scorpius anything, but that changed when she discovered her empathic ability. She wondered if he had any idea back then how terrified and lonely she felt. It frustrated her that as well as he once knew her, they were barely more than strangers now.
"What is there to say?" Rose asked out of frustration. There was so much to say! She kicked herself mentally for leaving an opening. She decided the best way to fill it was to start with the less painful issue at hand. "I was publicly humiliated by a student in class on my first day. So basically my worst fear has already come true."
Scorpius nodded. "What did you say to the student?"
"Well, he asked if it was true if I was sacked, so I told him that as an Unspeakable I wasn't at liberty to talk about my job."
"Why didn't you just tell him no? Of course you weren't sacked." Scorpius spoke with conviction, as if knowing Rose’s work ethic ten years prior somehow meant he knew she hadn’t changed.
"This may come as a shock to you, but I was, in fact, fired." Rose spat.
"But...that's not what..."
"What The Daily Prophet reported? Yeah. All PR bollocks.”
"So tell me then. Tell me what really happened this summer."
Rose huffed. "Scorpius, I've had a really long day. My head is killing me, and I'm hungry. Can I get a rain check for this heart to heart?" Rose begged.
"Is this your subtle way of telling me that I smell like Thestral dung?" Scorpius asked.
Rose took in Scorpius’s appearance. His work boots were grimy and he smelled a little. It wasn't a completely unpleasant odor, but it was a scent that Rose wasn’t accustomed to anymore. He smelled of the outdoors, dirt, sweat, and possibly a little bit of manure. He was a far cry from the sterile environment Rose worked in at the Department of Mysteries.
Rose smiled and laughed again. "Yes, that's exactly what this is. It's a brush off."
"Ouch." Scorpius feigned wounded pride. She sensed Scorpius mood lightening.
"It's not you, it's me?" Rose giggled.
"You're not off the hook that easily, Rose."
"I didn't think so." Rose folded her arms across her body, almost hugging herself. It was her tell and she knew it. She did it when she was embarrassed or nervous.
"Dinner in Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Scorpius suggested as he started to move toward his own quarters.
Rose didn't really want to be alone with Scorpius, but she also didn't want to tell him her sob story over dinner in the Great Hall where any one of the nosy teachers could overhear. "Okay. It's a--"
"--Date?"
Rose blushed from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet. "I was going to say deal."
"Tomato." Scorpius called out. He smirked, but this one wasn't cruel, it was rakish.
Rose smiled. She rolled her response around her tongue. Tomahto. But she couldn’t get her vocal chords to cooperate. As Rose hurried toward the Great Hall she hummed “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” Scorpius’s mother was a jazz lover. Rose remembered helping Asteria while she fixed cocktails before dinner. She’d put a Louis Armstrong record on her gorgeous antique Muggle gramophone. They would talk about travel and fashion, but eventually Scorpius would come looking for Rose and give his mother an exasperated look for stealing is friend. It was a sweet memory that eased the sorrow of their decade of silence. After ten minutes they had fallen back into the pattern of easy banter, finishing each other's sentences, and innocent flirtation.
If Rose didn't know better, she'd think she was still carrying a torch for Scorpius Malfoy. But she knew that could not be the case, she’d long ago resigned her crush when Scorpius began dating Chantal during the Christmas holidays of their final year at Hogwarts. She gave it up as a lost cause when, after they had broken up at Easter, they got back together at the end of the year. And she abandoned all hope that they could remain friends when they parted on the Hogwarts Express. Rose was angry and hurt. Scorpius made no promise to write. She didn’t have the courage to apologize, and he clearly hadn’t wanted her forgiveness. Rose had considered any reconciliation impossible for many years now.
***
Rose spent the whole of Saturday morning and afternoon preparing for her dinner with Scorpius. Rose didn't know what to wear. What outfit was appropriate when you were trying to reconnect with a long lost friend whom she had more than friendly feelings towards some ten odd years ago? She finally settled on dark denims with black Chucks, paired with a plain white t-shirt with a simple V front. She wrapped a purple scarf around her bare neck and put a black leather jacket around her shoulders. Rose knew that Scorpius favored Muggle clothing. At eleven years old Scorpius decided he hated wizard footwear and asked his parents for trainers for Christmas. Draco Malfoy said no son of his would wear inferior Muggle shoes, so Rose took it upon herself to buy Scorpius his first pair of Converse. At seven o’clock Scorpius knocked on her portrait door and she stepped out into the hall. He didn't disappoint. Scorpius wore faded denims and a black jumper. He'd traded his boots for trendy Pumas. His obsession brought a smile to Rose's lips.
They walked to Hogsmeade in relative comfort. Scorpius chatted amiably about his seventh year students. He seemed quite fond of some of them and pleased that so many were interested in a profession caring for magical creatures. Rose hoped she could develop a similar rapport with her eldest students.
"How are your NEWT students?" Scorpius asked, encouraging Rose to dominate the conversation for a bit.
"Okay. I know a lot of them just thought it would be an easy O. But some of them seem genuinely interested in Divination. Professor Gray was a great mentor for me. I really respected Divination even before my own gift became apparent. And even though most people don't understand or appreciate it, there are real skills to learn from Divination even if you don't have acuity for it. I hope at the end of the year my OWL students don't blow the basics. And I hope my NEWT students get an A at the very least. Anything less would be a real embarrassment. I'd hate to have students like my dad and Uncle Harry. They used to make up dreams just so they'd have something interesting to interpret." It was a story her mother always brought up when she talked about the “woolly subject.”
"I wouldn't have wanted my dad as a student either. He's so pigheaded."
"That's really unfair to pigs, you know." Rose joked.
"That it is." Scorpius smiled widely.
"How is your old man, by the way?" Rose asked.
"Okay. Ornery as all hell, like always. Yours?"
"Same." Rose agreed. “And your mum?”
“Nosy.”
Rose laughed. “I guess I’m lucky then. My mother never pries.”
They decided to eat at The Three Broomsticks. Curfew for students was at half past six. There was no chance that they would run into anyone from their classes. After tucking into their dinners and drinking a pint each, Scorpius broached the subject of the evening.
"I believe you agreed to tell me about your summer over dinner."
"So I did...” Rose nodded at the barkeep to replenish their glasses.
With liquid courage Rose began her story. "As it happens, the story starts back in late spring." Rose could already feel her voice tightening up. She held up her right index finger, and with her left hand brought the full pint to her lips. She tilted it back and chugged her beer. She put the glass down and wiped her mouth. She chortled at her own ridiculousness. It was something Rose had seen in a Muggle movie, and while it added dramatic effect to the story, it also pushed Rose over the edge from heady buzz to full on intoxication. She attempted to continue with the story. But Scorpius cut her off with his laughter.
"Rose, this must be some serious shite you got yourself into...” He whistled.
Rose continued. "I had worked late that particular night, which wasn't unusual. I tended to work long hours. It was well after eleven when I Apparated into the garden of the terraced house I shared with Alex. My dad was waiting for me on the stone bench on the porch." Rose pictured her dad. He was tall with broad shoulders, but he slouched on the bench that night. It wasn't age, it was weariness, and it scared Rose. "My father looked upset. I remember thinking how could anyone look so miserable on such a lovely spring night?" Velvety red rose bushes lined the front walk way. The wind blew slightly and the air was aromatic yet brisk. "I thought he was there to reprimand me for not turning up at my brother's birthday party the prior Sunday at the Burrow." It wasn't that Rose didn't love her family, but she'd given up the company of most people and her solitude had atrophied her defenses. Blocking out peoples' emotions had gotten too difficult. "He stood when he saw me approaching and his long Auror cape fell around him. His hair was a little long, longer than he usually kept it. It’s still a brilliant red without a grey hair in sight." Rose mused as she took a few more gulps of the third fresh pint the barkeep had delivered. "I asked my dad what he was doing at my house and reminded him of the obvious, it was almost midnight. I hurried up the stone path and muttered the charm to unlock the front door. My father was silent as he followed me inside. He told me he came to see me because it was important. It couldn't wait... I dropped my things in the foyer and walked to the kitchen to put on the kettle. 'Well, what is it then?' I asked. I was on edge. I still expected him to reprimand me."
Rose looked up at Scorpius and he sat listening with baited breath.
"The next part I'll never forget." She repeated verbatim, "'The thing is, sweetheart, I'm here not just as your father, but as Head Auror. Darling, we've arrested Alex and we're questioning him in connection with dealing goods on the black market. We're charging him with selling stolen property -- jewels, paintings, family heirlooms -- that were taken from families during the Blood Wars. We suspect he's working for former Death Eaters.' I dropped the china teacup I was holding. The teakettle began its slow whistle. My father scrubbed his face with his large hands, scratching at the five o'clock shadow on his jaw. I'm sure my mouth fell open. My father flicked his wand and the teacup reassembled itself and sat pristine again on the massive granite counters in my dream Muggle kitchen. He took two long strides to the stove and took the boiling pot of water off the burner." Rose described every detail in a detached, almost dazed voice. "And the rest of the night is a blur. But in the morning I awoke at my parents’ house and I lived out of a suitcase for the whole summer."
"Oh, Rose." Scorpius pitied Rose.
"Don't feel bad for me.” Rose was indignant. “I refuse to have you sit there and feel bad for me. I invited this man into my life. I'm the one who was a bad judge of character."
Alex was Rose's second significant relationship. She'd dated a Muggle named Christopher briefly after Hogwarts, but Rose never told him she was a witch. He'd accused her of cheating and they'd broken up. She wasn't cheating, but she was hiding a whole, separate life from him. Alex came along after a dry spell. He was a friend of Teddy Lupin’s. Rose liked that he was older, more mature and established in his career. Everyone who met Alex liked him. He was just that sort of bloke.
"He had everyone fooled." Scorpius offered.
"That's what my mother and father said. They were mostly gracious about the whole thing. They had to recuse themselves from the investigation. That was probably the most humiliating part. My dad had been the lead investigator when the antiques started popping up and my mum was the lead prosecutor. They had to hand the case over to other people once they realized the conflict of interest. They were humiliated. I was humiliated, but that wasn't enough for the Department of Mysteries." Rose complained. "After the scandal broke I got pulled from my assignments. I only got to work on things that I hadn't had to do since I was an intern. A week after Alex was brought into custody and charged formally, my boss called me into her office and I was sacked. They told me I was a liability. If I couldn't tell that someone so close to me was involved in illicit activities, what guarantees did they have that my readings on sensitive information were at all accurate? Ten years of service, gone. I had already moved back in with my parents. So there I was, unemployed, betrayed, and a public laughing stock." Rose downed her drink. She felt on the verge of piss drunk. Her tongue had gotten loose. The alcohol had induced her to reveal more detail than was strictly necessary, but her constant, dull headache from feeling everyone around her was finally gone. She felt peaceful.
"Rose, it sounds awful."
Rose shrugged. She decided she shouldn't drink more, or she might not be able to control her actions. "Well, things worked out okay, didn't they? He's probably going to Azkaban..."
"...And you're here. Resilient as ever."
"Not much of a choice though. Either stay with my parents or get a job and move on. I'm just lucky it was a two for one deal."
"How are you adjusting?"
"Okay, I suppose. It's hard though. Feeling so many things at once. It's going to take practice for me to filter properly. Right now it's just a nuisance, indistinguishable mostly." Rose wanted to change the topic. She disliked talking about her ability. It made people suspicious of her. She acted as if it was something she could control, channel, and feel selectively. "We should head back. It's getting late." Rose slipped out of the booth and tried to put on her leather jacket. After struggling a moment Scorpius helped her. It was something he used to do for her all the time, so it shouldn’t affect her, but it did. She felt her skin get hot.
It was a crisp autumn night. The cool air on her face sobered her up a bit, but she still felt unsure of herself. Being in such close proximity to Scorpius brought back all the emotions she'd thought she had let go of, abandoned when she was seventeen.
"Rose, to be honest, I'm glad you're here. I know it's not under the best circumstances that you took the job, but I'm happy all the same. It's been too long." Scorpius put an arm around her shoulder. Drinking obviously made him more charitable toward Rose.
Rose felt a familiar tingling, like she wanted to smile even though she was miserable inside. She had an uncontrollable urge to laugh, to skip, and to run. She furrowed her brow. It was unfair that her heart should betray her like this; it was unfair that Scorpius, after all this time, could still make her react like this.
Rose knew that her empathic ability didn't make life easy. She couldn't make people understand their subconscious impulses or admit to having feelings they were trying to repress. Rose's gift wasn't about making prophecies. She got to feel peoples' irrational jealousy, anxiety that weighed heavily on them, and their unadulterated lust. It was a great power, but also a great challenge. As an Empath she had access to privileged information about her closest friends, family, and even strangers.
At seventeen Rose didn't know how to deal with that power, and specifically, Scorpius. So she had cut him out of her life. It was too painful to have him around; too painful to have feelings for a boy who didn’t want to articulate his back to her, however repressed his were.
Scorpius pulled Rose along the path to Hogwarts. She bit back tears. He joked about how much easier it was to walk hip to hip now that he rivaled her in height. Rose laughed and did her best to play along. It may have been ten years, but a heart wants what it wants.
The tension was palpable. "Rose, why did we stop being friends?" His voice was tinged with confusion and the alcohol made him sound vulnerable and insecure. "You shut me out, just like you did to everyone else. Was our friendship just another casualty among all the relationships ruined by you becoming an Unspeakable?"
Rose couldn’t give him an answer, not the one that hung between them since she first began to comprehend her gift. All she could do was simplify it, so that it would hurt her less, and wouldn’t embarrass him. Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t tell him the whole truth, that it had been too hard for Rose to see him happily committed to Chantal and know that deep down he also felt something for Rose but never had the guts or inclination to do anything about it.
"It seemed to me that the best thing I could do for you was to give you space to be with Chantal."
"Chantal?" Scorpius slurred his ex’s name, seemingly bewildered by the implication.
"You know, the girlfriend you had on and off for three years? Blonde. Petite. Gryffindor. Ring any bells?"
A morose look passed over his face. He let out a strained laugh. “That’s funny." Scorpius’s shoulders shook with silent laughter.
"How's that?"
"Even after you and I stopped being friends... You were this - presence -- in our relationship." Scorpius’s voice grew quiet. "I can't explain it.”
Rose felt a shiver run down her back. She kept silent; she didn’t dare ask him to elaborate. She was all too familiar with phantom feelings. They were treading on very dangerous ground now. Rose's instinct of self-preservation kicked in, further proof that she’d been well placed in Slytherin all those years ago. “You don't have to explain anything. It’s irrelevant now.” Rose forced the muscles in her face to form a smile. “It’s in the past, and look, we’re talking now...” She could hear the hard edge in her voice challenging Scorpius to defy her.
Rose broke free of his hold. “Race you!” She called out, but Rose didn't wait for him. She needed to put some space between them. She ran toward the castle and didn't look back.
Scorpius yelled, “Cheater!” He chased her. His legs were longer now than when they were racing around the lake, horsing around as kids, not to mention he was much more athletic than Rose. He neared Rose--came up just behind her.
Rose willed her legs to go faster. She wouldn’t let him see her crack like this. She put ten years between them and couldn’t bear for the distance to be breached by one night of drinking and nostalgic longing.
The air was cold and nipped at Rose’s cheeks, made the tears at the corners of her eyes feel icy. She breathed deeply, and took in the air scented with mist and pine. They reached the outskirts of Hogwarts' grounds and sunk into the wet grass. Rose slowed her pace and puffed out little breaths. Her nose felt runny and most of her hair had come loose from the pins. Scorpius caught up to her but he said nothing.
The easy conversation they’d had at the pub was replaced once again by excruciating silence as they made their way into the castle. Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She always thought that cutting all ties to her best friend was the most difficult thing she’d ever done, but standing right next to him and pretending she had nothing to say topped it. They reached her portrait door.
“Scorpius... I’m sorry the night’s ending like this. I just think it’s going to take time.” Rose was proud that she could get the words out at all. Her mouth was as dry as a desert.
“I’m sorry for pushing you. It wasn’t fair of me.” Scorpius apologized.
Rose whispered her password to The Rubenesque Woman. The regal woman frowned sympathetically before the portrait swung open. Rose stepped into her quarters. “It’s late. Good night, Scorpius." She didn't wait for him to say anything back. She gently shut the portrait door.
Once she was alone, Rose let out a ragged breath and fat tears spilled down her cheeks. There was no use in fighting it in private. She only hoped that Scorpius had the decency to keep walking and not listen to her cry. Rose may have run away from their friendship, but Scorpius made it easy; he never ran after her or fought for her, and that hurt more than she ever cared to admit.
Part 4.
Author: i_am_girlfriday
Gift For: orkyd
Summary: Rose reveals to Scorpius why she lost her job in the Department of Mysteries. They drink too much and emotions run high between the former best mates.
Rating: PG-13, eventually R
Warnings: Tame teenage horniness, mentions of Scorpius/OFC and Rose/OMC
Word Count: 4,353
Author's Note: Thank you to my betas, D and T, and B for encouragement.
Most of the first month went by in a blur. When Rose wasn’t teaching she attempted to reconcile with her estranged friends and relatives. Rose sent long letters to her parents and Floo-called several of her cousins. They all inquired about her job, how she was adjusting, and so on, but none of them had the tenacity to ask her if she was on speaking terms with Scorpius yet.
Rose was still adjusting to being around so many people. She found it difficult to focus on conversations and suppress all the feelings that bombarded her senses. Each passing teacher and student emanated unique hopes, hidden feelings, heartfelt wishes, and repressed desires. They were an annoying kind of din to Rose. With great effort she could block them out, but generally she still found it easier to avoid social situations. When she used to work for the Department of Mysteries she reasoned that she should conserve all of her empathic energy for her job where they paid her to hone in on the feelings. But Rose relied on that excuse far too often to get out of family obligations, and her social circle had given up on her long ago. It was a strange experience to be the newest faculty member. All the teachers wanted her to feel welcome and they were constantly inviting her to sit with them at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Rose declined them politely and asked to reschedule for later in the term. She ate most of her meals alone in her quarters or nipped down to the kitchens to steal snacks to get her through the long workday.
By the first Friday in October, Rose began to feel too guilty to decline any more invitations. She agreed to join Lauren, her mentor, in the Great Hall. She hoped she could get through dinner without humiliating herself. As she exited her corridor she bumped into Scorpius. Scorpius wore the same disdainful sneer on his face he'd been sporting every time Rose saw him. They had yet to speak since the Welcoming Feast, instead they just nodded in acknowledgment of the others' presence when they passed on the grounds. They did an odd dance in the deserted corridor. Rose took one step to the right to let Scorpius pass, just as he took a step to the left.
"You go." Rose said as she stepped to the left this time, only to have Scorpius mirror her and step to his right.
"No, you. I insist." Scorpius snapped and gestured gallantly.
Rose rolled her eyes and took two quick steps to the right to put some distance between them. She clasped her hands over her heart and batted her eyelashes dramatically. "And they say chivalry is dead!" She snapped back as she walked away toward the Great Hall.
"Who says that?" Scorpius asked, his tone vicious. Usually Scorpius walked around with a mixture of anger and bitter resentment, but Rose didn’t need her empathic ability to know that. The way he set his mouth, like he had swallowed something particularly vile, told her everything.
Rose turned around awkwardly, tilted her head, and arched an eyebrow. Scorpius’s sneer loosened into a smirk. He laughed first. It broke the awful tension between them and soon Rose couldn't keep back a giggle.
She turned to face him fully. "Merlin's pants, I don't remember the last time I laughed!" Rose admitted. They settled into a comfortable silence.
"So..." Scorpius shoved his hands in his denim pockets.
"So..." Rose pushed a frizzy handful of hair behind her ear.
"Rough first month?"
Rose nodded her head, unsure of how to answer.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Rose shook her head. Talking to Scorpius was the second biggest fear she had been dreading since arriving at Hogwarts. The comfortable silence quickly turned awkward. Rose pursed her lips and willed herself not to get choked up. Her facial muscles could only remain stoic until she cracked a laugh, and then Rose's own emotions would come out like a torrent, usually in tears but always in complete privacy. Rose never let anyone see her break--it’s what made her a force to reckon with in school and in the Department.
"Come on... We used to be friends." Scorpius was apparently ready to stop ignoring the dragon in the castle.
Rose schooled her voice. "That was a long time ago."
"Ten years." Scorpius sighed. "Come on. You can tell me."
As kids Scorpius always knew just what to say to Rose to get her to speak up when he sensed her holding back.
"Come on... We used to tell each other everything."
There was a time when Rose could tell Scorpius anything, but that changed when she discovered her empathic ability. She wondered if he had any idea back then how terrified and lonely she felt. It frustrated her that as well as he once knew her, they were barely more than strangers now.
"What is there to say?" Rose asked out of frustration. There was so much to say! She kicked herself mentally for leaving an opening. She decided the best way to fill it was to start with the less painful issue at hand. "I was publicly humiliated by a student in class on my first day. So basically my worst fear has already come true."
Scorpius nodded. "What did you say to the student?"
"Well, he asked if it was true if I was sacked, so I told him that as an Unspeakable I wasn't at liberty to talk about my job."
"Why didn't you just tell him no? Of course you weren't sacked." Scorpius spoke with conviction, as if knowing Rose’s work ethic ten years prior somehow meant he knew she hadn’t changed.
"This may come as a shock to you, but I was, in fact, fired." Rose spat.
"But...that's not what..."
"What The Daily Prophet reported? Yeah. All PR bollocks.”
"So tell me then. Tell me what really happened this summer."
Rose huffed. "Scorpius, I've had a really long day. My head is killing me, and I'm hungry. Can I get a rain check for this heart to heart?" Rose begged.
"Is this your subtle way of telling me that I smell like Thestral dung?" Scorpius asked.
Rose took in Scorpius’s appearance. His work boots were grimy and he smelled a little. It wasn't a completely unpleasant odor, but it was a scent that Rose wasn’t accustomed to anymore. He smelled of the outdoors, dirt, sweat, and possibly a little bit of manure. He was a far cry from the sterile environment Rose worked in at the Department of Mysteries.
Rose smiled and laughed again. "Yes, that's exactly what this is. It's a brush off."
"Ouch." Scorpius feigned wounded pride. She sensed Scorpius mood lightening.
"It's not you, it's me?" Rose giggled.
"You're not off the hook that easily, Rose."
"I didn't think so." Rose folded her arms across her body, almost hugging herself. It was her tell and she knew it. She did it when she was embarrassed or nervous.
"Dinner in Hogsmeade tomorrow?" Scorpius suggested as he started to move toward his own quarters.
Rose didn't really want to be alone with Scorpius, but she also didn't want to tell him her sob story over dinner in the Great Hall where any one of the nosy teachers could overhear. "Okay. It's a--"
"--Date?"
Rose blushed from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet. "I was going to say deal."
"Tomato." Scorpius called out. He smirked, but this one wasn't cruel, it was rakish.
Rose smiled. She rolled her response around her tongue. Tomahto. But she couldn’t get her vocal chords to cooperate. As Rose hurried toward the Great Hall she hummed “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” Scorpius’s mother was a jazz lover. Rose remembered helping Asteria while she fixed cocktails before dinner. She’d put a Louis Armstrong record on her gorgeous antique Muggle gramophone. They would talk about travel and fashion, but eventually Scorpius would come looking for Rose and give his mother an exasperated look for stealing is friend. It was a sweet memory that eased the sorrow of their decade of silence. After ten minutes they had fallen back into the pattern of easy banter, finishing each other's sentences, and innocent flirtation.
If Rose didn't know better, she'd think she was still carrying a torch for Scorpius Malfoy. But she knew that could not be the case, she’d long ago resigned her crush when Scorpius began dating Chantal during the Christmas holidays of their final year at Hogwarts. She gave it up as a lost cause when, after they had broken up at Easter, they got back together at the end of the year. And she abandoned all hope that they could remain friends when they parted on the Hogwarts Express. Rose was angry and hurt. Scorpius made no promise to write. She didn’t have the courage to apologize, and he clearly hadn’t wanted her forgiveness. Rose had considered any reconciliation impossible for many years now.
***
Rose spent the whole of Saturday morning and afternoon preparing for her dinner with Scorpius. Rose didn't know what to wear. What outfit was appropriate when you were trying to reconnect with a long lost friend whom she had more than friendly feelings towards some ten odd years ago? She finally settled on dark denims with black Chucks, paired with a plain white t-shirt with a simple V front. She wrapped a purple scarf around her bare neck and put a black leather jacket around her shoulders. Rose knew that Scorpius favored Muggle clothing. At eleven years old Scorpius decided he hated wizard footwear and asked his parents for trainers for Christmas. Draco Malfoy said no son of his would wear inferior Muggle shoes, so Rose took it upon herself to buy Scorpius his first pair of Converse. At seven o’clock Scorpius knocked on her portrait door and she stepped out into the hall. He didn't disappoint. Scorpius wore faded denims and a black jumper. He'd traded his boots for trendy Pumas. His obsession brought a smile to Rose's lips.
They walked to Hogsmeade in relative comfort. Scorpius chatted amiably about his seventh year students. He seemed quite fond of some of them and pleased that so many were interested in a profession caring for magical creatures. Rose hoped she could develop a similar rapport with her eldest students.
"How are your NEWT students?" Scorpius asked, encouraging Rose to dominate the conversation for a bit.
"Okay. I know a lot of them just thought it would be an easy O. But some of them seem genuinely interested in Divination. Professor Gray was a great mentor for me. I really respected Divination even before my own gift became apparent. And even though most people don't understand or appreciate it, there are real skills to learn from Divination even if you don't have acuity for it. I hope at the end of the year my OWL students don't blow the basics. And I hope my NEWT students get an A at the very least. Anything less would be a real embarrassment. I'd hate to have students like my dad and Uncle Harry. They used to make up dreams just so they'd have something interesting to interpret." It was a story her mother always brought up when she talked about the “woolly subject.”
"I wouldn't have wanted my dad as a student either. He's so pigheaded."
"That's really unfair to pigs, you know." Rose joked.
"That it is." Scorpius smiled widely.
"How is your old man, by the way?" Rose asked.
"Okay. Ornery as all hell, like always. Yours?"
"Same." Rose agreed. “And your mum?”
“Nosy.”
Rose laughed. “I guess I’m lucky then. My mother never pries.”
They decided to eat at The Three Broomsticks. Curfew for students was at half past six. There was no chance that they would run into anyone from their classes. After tucking into their dinners and drinking a pint each, Scorpius broached the subject of the evening.
"I believe you agreed to tell me about your summer over dinner."
"So I did...” Rose nodded at the barkeep to replenish their glasses.
With liquid courage Rose began her story. "As it happens, the story starts back in late spring." Rose could already feel her voice tightening up. She held up her right index finger, and with her left hand brought the full pint to her lips. She tilted it back and chugged her beer. She put the glass down and wiped her mouth. She chortled at her own ridiculousness. It was something Rose had seen in a Muggle movie, and while it added dramatic effect to the story, it also pushed Rose over the edge from heady buzz to full on intoxication. She attempted to continue with the story. But Scorpius cut her off with his laughter.
"Rose, this must be some serious shite you got yourself into...” He whistled.
Rose continued. "I had worked late that particular night, which wasn't unusual. I tended to work long hours. It was well after eleven when I Apparated into the garden of the terraced house I shared with Alex. My dad was waiting for me on the stone bench on the porch." Rose pictured her dad. He was tall with broad shoulders, but he slouched on the bench that night. It wasn't age, it was weariness, and it scared Rose. "My father looked upset. I remember thinking how could anyone look so miserable on such a lovely spring night?" Velvety red rose bushes lined the front walk way. The wind blew slightly and the air was aromatic yet brisk. "I thought he was there to reprimand me for not turning up at my brother's birthday party the prior Sunday at the Burrow." It wasn't that Rose didn't love her family, but she'd given up the company of most people and her solitude had atrophied her defenses. Blocking out peoples' emotions had gotten too difficult. "He stood when he saw me approaching and his long Auror cape fell around him. His hair was a little long, longer than he usually kept it. It’s still a brilliant red without a grey hair in sight." Rose mused as she took a few more gulps of the third fresh pint the barkeep had delivered. "I asked my dad what he was doing at my house and reminded him of the obvious, it was almost midnight. I hurried up the stone path and muttered the charm to unlock the front door. My father was silent as he followed me inside. He told me he came to see me because it was important. It couldn't wait... I dropped my things in the foyer and walked to the kitchen to put on the kettle. 'Well, what is it then?' I asked. I was on edge. I still expected him to reprimand me."
Rose looked up at Scorpius and he sat listening with baited breath.
"The next part I'll never forget." She repeated verbatim, "'The thing is, sweetheart, I'm here not just as your father, but as Head Auror. Darling, we've arrested Alex and we're questioning him in connection with dealing goods on the black market. We're charging him with selling stolen property -- jewels, paintings, family heirlooms -- that were taken from families during the Blood Wars. We suspect he's working for former Death Eaters.' I dropped the china teacup I was holding. The teakettle began its slow whistle. My father scrubbed his face with his large hands, scratching at the five o'clock shadow on his jaw. I'm sure my mouth fell open. My father flicked his wand and the teacup reassembled itself and sat pristine again on the massive granite counters in my dream Muggle kitchen. He took two long strides to the stove and took the boiling pot of water off the burner." Rose described every detail in a detached, almost dazed voice. "And the rest of the night is a blur. But in the morning I awoke at my parents’ house and I lived out of a suitcase for the whole summer."
"Oh, Rose." Scorpius pitied Rose.
"Don't feel bad for me.” Rose was indignant. “I refuse to have you sit there and feel bad for me. I invited this man into my life. I'm the one who was a bad judge of character."
Alex was Rose's second significant relationship. She'd dated a Muggle named Christopher briefly after Hogwarts, but Rose never told him she was a witch. He'd accused her of cheating and they'd broken up. She wasn't cheating, but she was hiding a whole, separate life from him. Alex came along after a dry spell. He was a friend of Teddy Lupin’s. Rose liked that he was older, more mature and established in his career. Everyone who met Alex liked him. He was just that sort of bloke.
"He had everyone fooled." Scorpius offered.
"That's what my mother and father said. They were mostly gracious about the whole thing. They had to recuse themselves from the investigation. That was probably the most humiliating part. My dad had been the lead investigator when the antiques started popping up and my mum was the lead prosecutor. They had to hand the case over to other people once they realized the conflict of interest. They were humiliated. I was humiliated, but that wasn't enough for the Department of Mysteries." Rose complained. "After the scandal broke I got pulled from my assignments. I only got to work on things that I hadn't had to do since I was an intern. A week after Alex was brought into custody and charged formally, my boss called me into her office and I was sacked. They told me I was a liability. If I couldn't tell that someone so close to me was involved in illicit activities, what guarantees did they have that my readings on sensitive information were at all accurate? Ten years of service, gone. I had already moved back in with my parents. So there I was, unemployed, betrayed, and a public laughing stock." Rose downed her drink. She felt on the verge of piss drunk. Her tongue had gotten loose. The alcohol had induced her to reveal more detail than was strictly necessary, but her constant, dull headache from feeling everyone around her was finally gone. She felt peaceful.
"Rose, it sounds awful."
Rose shrugged. She decided she shouldn't drink more, or she might not be able to control her actions. "Well, things worked out okay, didn't they? He's probably going to Azkaban..."
"...And you're here. Resilient as ever."
"Not much of a choice though. Either stay with my parents or get a job and move on. I'm just lucky it was a two for one deal."
"How are you adjusting?"
"Okay, I suppose. It's hard though. Feeling so many things at once. It's going to take practice for me to filter properly. Right now it's just a nuisance, indistinguishable mostly." Rose wanted to change the topic. She disliked talking about her ability. It made people suspicious of her. She acted as if it was something she could control, channel, and feel selectively. "We should head back. It's getting late." Rose slipped out of the booth and tried to put on her leather jacket. After struggling a moment Scorpius helped her. It was something he used to do for her all the time, so it shouldn’t affect her, but it did. She felt her skin get hot.
It was a crisp autumn night. The cool air on her face sobered her up a bit, but she still felt unsure of herself. Being in such close proximity to Scorpius brought back all the emotions she'd thought she had let go of, abandoned when she was seventeen.
"Rose, to be honest, I'm glad you're here. I know it's not under the best circumstances that you took the job, but I'm happy all the same. It's been too long." Scorpius put an arm around her shoulder. Drinking obviously made him more charitable toward Rose.
Rose felt a familiar tingling, like she wanted to smile even though she was miserable inside. She had an uncontrollable urge to laugh, to skip, and to run. She furrowed her brow. It was unfair that her heart should betray her like this; it was unfair that Scorpius, after all this time, could still make her react like this.
Rose knew that her empathic ability didn't make life easy. She couldn't make people understand their subconscious impulses or admit to having feelings they were trying to repress. Rose's gift wasn't about making prophecies. She got to feel peoples' irrational jealousy, anxiety that weighed heavily on them, and their unadulterated lust. It was a great power, but also a great challenge. As an Empath she had access to privileged information about her closest friends, family, and even strangers.
At seventeen Rose didn't know how to deal with that power, and specifically, Scorpius. So she had cut him out of her life. It was too painful to have him around; too painful to have feelings for a boy who didn’t want to articulate his back to her, however repressed his were.
Scorpius pulled Rose along the path to Hogwarts. She bit back tears. He joked about how much easier it was to walk hip to hip now that he rivaled her in height. Rose laughed and did her best to play along. It may have been ten years, but a heart wants what it wants.
The tension was palpable. "Rose, why did we stop being friends?" His voice was tinged with confusion and the alcohol made him sound vulnerable and insecure. "You shut me out, just like you did to everyone else. Was our friendship just another casualty among all the relationships ruined by you becoming an Unspeakable?"
Rose couldn’t give him an answer, not the one that hung between them since she first began to comprehend her gift. All she could do was simplify it, so that it would hurt her less, and wouldn’t embarrass him. Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t tell him the whole truth, that it had been too hard for Rose to see him happily committed to Chantal and know that deep down he also felt something for Rose but never had the guts or inclination to do anything about it.
"It seemed to me that the best thing I could do for you was to give you space to be with Chantal."
"Chantal?" Scorpius slurred his ex’s name, seemingly bewildered by the implication.
"You know, the girlfriend you had on and off for three years? Blonde. Petite. Gryffindor. Ring any bells?"
A morose look passed over his face. He let out a strained laugh. “That’s funny." Scorpius’s shoulders shook with silent laughter.
"How's that?"
"Even after you and I stopped being friends... You were this - presence -- in our relationship." Scorpius’s voice grew quiet. "I can't explain it.”
Rose felt a shiver run down her back. She kept silent; she didn’t dare ask him to elaborate. She was all too familiar with phantom feelings. They were treading on very dangerous ground now. Rose's instinct of self-preservation kicked in, further proof that she’d been well placed in Slytherin all those years ago. “You don't have to explain anything. It’s irrelevant now.” Rose forced the muscles in her face to form a smile. “It’s in the past, and look, we’re talking now...” She could hear the hard edge in her voice challenging Scorpius to defy her.
Rose broke free of his hold. “Race you!” She called out, but Rose didn't wait for him. She needed to put some space between them. She ran toward the castle and didn't look back.
Scorpius yelled, “Cheater!” He chased her. His legs were longer now than when they were racing around the lake, horsing around as kids, not to mention he was much more athletic than Rose. He neared Rose--came up just behind her.
Rose willed her legs to go faster. She wouldn’t let him see her crack like this. She put ten years between them and couldn’t bear for the distance to be breached by one night of drinking and nostalgic longing.
The air was cold and nipped at Rose’s cheeks, made the tears at the corners of her eyes feel icy. She breathed deeply, and took in the air scented with mist and pine. They reached the outskirts of Hogwarts' grounds and sunk into the wet grass. Rose slowed her pace and puffed out little breaths. Her nose felt runny and most of her hair had come loose from the pins. Scorpius caught up to her but he said nothing.
The easy conversation they’d had at the pub was replaced once again by excruciating silence as they made their way into the castle. Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She always thought that cutting all ties to her best friend was the most difficult thing she’d ever done, but standing right next to him and pretending she had nothing to say topped it. They reached her portrait door.
“Scorpius... I’m sorry the night’s ending like this. I just think it’s going to take time.” Rose was proud that she could get the words out at all. Her mouth was as dry as a desert.
“I’m sorry for pushing you. It wasn’t fair of me.” Scorpius apologized.
Rose whispered her password to The Rubenesque Woman. The regal woman frowned sympathetically before the portrait swung open. Rose stepped into her quarters. “It’s late. Good night, Scorpius." She didn't wait for him to say anything back. She gently shut the portrait door.
Once she was alone, Rose let out a ragged breath and fat tears spilled down her cheeks. There was no use in fighting it in private. She only hoped that Scorpius had the decency to keep walking and not listen to her cry. Rose may have run away from their friendship, but Scorpius made it easy; he never ran after her or fought for her, and that hurt more than she ever cared to admit.
Part 4.