Something Was Missing Ch. 8
Hey guys! So I know the last chapter got pretty angsty at the end and worried a lot of you. Sowwy about that. So here's a warning: This chapter, along with the next one and *maybe* the one after that will be angsty. Just thought you should know that. Okey here we go! (Italics are used for Ian's thoughts, blah blah, I'm sure you know this by now..)
Title: Something Was Missing (Ch 8)
Rating: PG-13 for bad language. There's not a lot of it though.
Summary: Ian has a hard time dealing with his emotions after finding out Anthony isn't trustworthy.
Disclaimer: I have decided to kidnap Smosh and tie them up in my basement. Wish me luck. (lol jk)
Previous chapters:
One- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/3691.html
Two- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4012.html
Three- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4112.html
Four- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4450.html
Five- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4701.html
Six- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4944.html
Seven- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/5273.html
IAN'S POV:
I ran all the way home without stopping. The tears blurred my vision but I carried on; I had to get away from everyone, from him...
I burst through the front door, startling my mom. She looked up at me from the couch and frowned.
"Ian?"
She immediately registered the broken expression on my face and jumped up, concern in her eyes. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"Anthony.. He.. He.." I stuttered, unable to explain the grief I felt. I collapsed onto the floor, a sobbing mess.
He said he loved me.. I trusted him ...
I don't really remember the rest of the night. I knew I cried. A lot. It was as if a faucet had been turned on and I just couldn't turn it off. The whole thing was a blur. A painful, messy blur. It felt like I was being torn open, my heart ripped out and trampled beyond recognition. Never in my life had I loved someone as I did Anthony. I never even liked anyone that much. As soon as I was happy... As soon as I thought I was complete.. It turns out he's a douchebag.
I must have passed out eventually because I woke up in my bed the next morning. Ugh. I have a splitting headache. I sat up and rubbed my throbbing temple. Then I heard my mom's voice drifting in from the living room.
"...I don't think he wants to see you right now."
Her tone was harsh. There's only one reason she would have to speak like that...
"Please. I have to talk to him.."
I recognized his voice immediately. Anthony. He's here. My stomach lurched and I felt like I had to throw up. The conversation continued.
"I think you should leave."
"Please! You don't understand!"
Oh god. His voice. I covered my mouth with one hand and sprinted to the bathroom, slamming the door. They were still talking. I could tell my mom was getting impatient.
"You need to go."
"But.."
He sounds awful.. My stomach twisted again and I leaned over the toilet bowl, becoming sick.
"Leave, Anthony."
"Okay..."
I sighed in relief when I heard the front door close loudly. I flushed the toilet and stood up shakily, staring at myself in the mirror. Fuck I look terrible. My eyes were red and puffy and I still had tear stains on my cheeks. I splashed some cool water on my face. It didn't really help. As I was drying my face off, I heard a knock at the bathroom door.
"Ian? Sweetie, are you alright?"
No.
"Yeah mom. I'm fine." I didn't sound very convincing. Sighing, I opened the door to find her staring at me.
She touched my arm. "Honey, are you sure? You don't look so good.."
"I told you I'm fine."
She frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I felt a lump form in my throat as I thought about the night before. "No thank you." I had to blink hard to keep tears from appearing in my eyes. Damnit, Ian. Don't cry again.
She didn't look like she believed me but she left me alone. I sighed again and returned to my room. Climbing into my bed, my mind wandered back to that fucking dance. I leaned against the wall and drew my knees up to my chest.
I trusted you.
ANTHONY'S POV:
He wasn't at school today. I tried showing up at his house this morning.. For some reason I thought I could make him feel better.. But he didn't even want to see me. I deserve it though. I'm a dick. I have to fix this.. I can't lose him. I gotta make this right..
But how?
IAN'S POV:
I spent all day in my bed. Thankfully my mom didn't try to push me about school. Even though she didn't know the details, she pretty much knew what happened. I just didn't have the strength (or the will) to move.. I looked over at my phone as it buzzed for the thousandth time. I didn't even pick it up. I knew it was him.
My mom came into my room sometime in the afternoon. I couldn't really tell you when though; I didn't bother looking at the time. I barely looked up from the floor as she sat on the bed next to me. She tried to look me in the eyes but I kept my head down. We sat there in silence for while before she finally spoke up.
"Ian, please. Say something. You're starting to worry me."
I still didn't look up. "I don't wanna talk."
She sighed. "Honey, I know it hurts now. But trust me, there will be other boys."
"They won't be Anthony."
She put her arm around me. "Oh, baby.. I know. You love him."
I cringed at that word. Love. I stared at her. "I don't love him. Not anymore. I can't even trust him.."
I knew I was lying.
I still love him. Of course I do.
But I don't want to. I can't let him hurt me the way he hurt Jeff.
ANTHONY'S POV:
I tried calling him again yesterday. It rang once. Twice. Three times.... And it went to voicemail. I don't know why I expected any different. He never answered, not even once. I slammed the phone down on my bedside table in anger, but then picked it up again. I typed out another text as a last resort, feeling like I was going to cry. I stood up, trying not to let the tears escape, and walked out of the room.
Ian, please.. Just talk to me...
IAN'S POV:
I barely slept last night. I kept tossing and turning. And every time I actually fell asleep, I dreamed about him. His beautiful face, warm chocolate eyes, how it felt to hold his hand, to kiss him.....
Fuck, Anthony.
Why did you do this to me?
The next morning I woke up feeling as though I'd only slept for five minutes. Which was probably accurate.
Bzz Bzz
I groaned as I heard the familiar buzz of my phone as a new text came in. I don't know why I decided to look at it; I never did. I knew it was from him. But I reached out and grabbed it, pressing the button to view the message.
Ian. I know you don't want to talk to me. Hell, I don't even know if you're reading this right now. You probably aren't. But it doesn't matter. If by chance, you do see this.. Please, meet me in the park at our bench. I HAVE to talk to you, Ian. Please. Even if you don't show up, I'll still be there. I love you.
I felt my stomach twist once again when I read "our bench." I can't go see him. I can't. I suddenly found myself reading the last part of the text over and over again.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I can't do this!!! I love you. Crap. I launched myself out of the bed, not bothering to check my appearance. I love you. I ran outside as fast as I could, before I lost my nerve.
I love you.
I continued on towards the park, still having no idea why I was even doing it. The only thing that kept me going was the three words that kept replaying in my head. I love you.
I did love him. He was the only person I ever loved.
And the only one who betrayed me.
Well that's chapter eight for you. I hope you liked it. :) I gotta say, it's a bit hard to write angsty stuff. I like writing them all fluffy. Oh well. I'm gonna go work on the next chapter now :D
Title: Something Was Missing (Ch 8)
Rating: PG-13 for bad language. There's not a lot of it though.
Summary: Ian has a hard time dealing with his emotions after finding out Anthony isn't trustworthy.
Disclaimer: I have decided to kidnap Smosh and tie them up in my basement. Wish me luck. (lol jk)
Previous chapters:
One- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/3691.html
Two- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4012.html
Three- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4112.html
Four- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4450.html
Five- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4701.html
Six- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/4944.html
Seven- http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/5273.html
IAN'S POV:
I ran all the way home without stopping. The tears blurred my vision but I carried on; I had to get away from everyone, from him...
I burst through the front door, startling my mom. She looked up at me from the couch and frowned.
"Ian?"
She immediately registered the broken expression on my face and jumped up, concern in her eyes. "Honey, what's wrong?"
"Anthony.. He.. He.." I stuttered, unable to explain the grief I felt. I collapsed onto the floor, a sobbing mess.
He said he loved me.. I trusted him ...
I don't really remember the rest of the night. I knew I cried. A lot. It was as if a faucet had been turned on and I just couldn't turn it off. The whole thing was a blur. A painful, messy blur. It felt like I was being torn open, my heart ripped out and trampled beyond recognition. Never in my life had I loved someone as I did Anthony. I never even liked anyone that much. As soon as I was happy... As soon as I thought I was complete.. It turns out he's a douchebag.
I must have passed out eventually because I woke up in my bed the next morning. Ugh. I have a splitting headache. I sat up and rubbed my throbbing temple. Then I heard my mom's voice drifting in from the living room.
"...I don't think he wants to see you right now."
Her tone was harsh. There's only one reason she would have to speak like that...
"Please. I have to talk to him.."
I recognized his voice immediately. Anthony. He's here. My stomach lurched and I felt like I had to throw up. The conversation continued.
"I think you should leave."
"Please! You don't understand!"
Oh god. His voice. I covered my mouth with one hand and sprinted to the bathroom, slamming the door. They were still talking. I could tell my mom was getting impatient.
"You need to go."
"But.."
He sounds awful.. My stomach twisted again and I leaned over the toilet bowl, becoming sick.
"Leave, Anthony."
"Okay..."
I sighed in relief when I heard the front door close loudly. I flushed the toilet and stood up shakily, staring at myself in the mirror. Fuck I look terrible. My eyes were red and puffy and I still had tear stains on my cheeks. I splashed some cool water on my face. It didn't really help. As I was drying my face off, I heard a knock at the bathroom door.
"Ian? Sweetie, are you alright?"
No.
"Yeah mom. I'm fine." I didn't sound very convincing. Sighing, I opened the door to find her staring at me.
She touched my arm. "Honey, are you sure? You don't look so good.."
"I told you I'm fine."
She frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I felt a lump form in my throat as I thought about the night before. "No thank you." I had to blink hard to keep tears from appearing in my eyes. Damnit, Ian. Don't cry again.
She didn't look like she believed me but she left me alone. I sighed again and returned to my room. Climbing into my bed, my mind wandered back to that fucking dance. I leaned against the wall and drew my knees up to my chest.
I trusted you.
ANTHONY'S POV:
He wasn't at school today. I tried showing up at his house this morning.. For some reason I thought I could make him feel better.. But he didn't even want to see me. I deserve it though. I'm a dick. I have to fix this.. I can't lose him. I gotta make this right..
But how?
IAN'S POV:
I spent all day in my bed. Thankfully my mom didn't try to push me about school. Even though she didn't know the details, she pretty much knew what happened. I just didn't have the strength (or the will) to move.. I looked over at my phone as it buzzed for the thousandth time. I didn't even pick it up. I knew it was him.
My mom came into my room sometime in the afternoon. I couldn't really tell you when though; I didn't bother looking at the time. I barely looked up from the floor as she sat on the bed next to me. She tried to look me in the eyes but I kept my head down. We sat there in silence for while before she finally spoke up.
"Ian, please. Say something. You're starting to worry me."
I still didn't look up. "I don't wanna talk."
She sighed. "Honey, I know it hurts now. But trust me, there will be other boys."
"They won't be Anthony."
She put her arm around me. "Oh, baby.. I know. You love him."
I cringed at that word. Love. I stared at her. "I don't love him. Not anymore. I can't even trust him.."
I knew I was lying.
I still love him. Of course I do.
But I don't want to. I can't let him hurt me the way he hurt Jeff.
ANTHONY'S POV:
I tried calling him again yesterday. It rang once. Twice. Three times.... And it went to voicemail. I don't know why I expected any different. He never answered, not even once. I slammed the phone down on my bedside table in anger, but then picked it up again. I typed out another text as a last resort, feeling like I was going to cry. I stood up, trying not to let the tears escape, and walked out of the room.
Ian, please.. Just talk to me...
IAN'S POV:
I barely slept last night. I kept tossing and turning. And every time I actually fell asleep, I dreamed about him. His beautiful face, warm chocolate eyes, how it felt to hold his hand, to kiss him.....
Fuck, Anthony.
Why did you do this to me?
The next morning I woke up feeling as though I'd only slept for five minutes. Which was probably accurate.
Bzz Bzz
I groaned as I heard the familiar buzz of my phone as a new text came in. I don't know why I decided to look at it; I never did. I knew it was from him. But I reached out and grabbed it, pressing the button to view the message.
Ian. I know you don't want to talk to me. Hell, I don't even know if you're reading this right now. You probably aren't. But it doesn't matter. If by chance, you do see this.. Please, meet me in the park at our bench. I HAVE to talk to you, Ian. Please. Even if you don't show up, I'll still be there. I love you.
I felt my stomach twist once again when I read "our bench." I can't go see him. I can't. I suddenly found myself reading the last part of the text over and over again.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I can't do this!!! I love you. Crap. I launched myself out of the bed, not bothering to check my appearance. I love you. I ran outside as fast as I could, before I lost my nerve.
I love you.
I continued on towards the park, still having no idea why I was even doing it. The only thing that kept me going was the three words that kept replaying in my head. I love you.
I did love him. He was the only person I ever loved.
And the only one who betrayed me.
Well that's chapter eight for you. I hope you liked it. :) I gotta say, it's a bit hard to write angsty stuff. I like writing them all fluffy. Oh well. I'm gonna go work on the next chapter now :D