I'm Fourteen Forever (If I Make You Believe) [jon/ryan][s/a]
Title: I'm Fourteen Forever (If I Make You Believe)
Pairing/Character(s): Jon Walker/Ryan Ross
Rating: PG-13
Summary: “Don’t be afraid,” Jon whispers, and he scoots forward a little, touching his mouth to Ryan’s. Ryan closes his eyes and touches Jon’s hip, settling into the comfortable atmosphere that just seems to happen when he’s with Jon. Even when he ends up a little jealous.
“I’m not afraid,” he finally murmurs, though it feels off topic. Jon just laughs. “Just a bit jealous.”
“Oh?” Jon asks softly, leaning his forward against Ryan’s. “And why is that?”
Ryan refuses to meet Jon’s gaze, staring at their touching knees on the bed, still too small for them. “Tom.”
Warning: None
Beta: N/A
Word Count: 1,436
A/N: For the stonersinlove 'birthdays and boyfriends' challenge. Title blatantly stolen from 14 Forever by Stars, because it seemed fitting.
“Happy birthday.”
Ryan laughs and cocks his hip out, raising an eyebrow at Jon standing in the doorway - he’s holding some flowers and wearing a sheepish smile.
“Did you actually fly down from Chicago or…?” Ryan smiles a bit, and from the couch, Alex looks up.
A smile spreads across his face and something flickers in his eyes - Ryan doesn’t see the face Jon makes at Alex because he’s busy looking at Alex - but Ryan does wonder what it means.
He looks back at Jon and steps back. “Sorry. Come in.”
“Thank you,” Jon laughs, stepping into the house. The air around the door is warm from the door having lingered open. Ryan sneezes.
“Bless you,” Jon says quietly, and he hands the flowers to Ryan.
Ryan smiles and just nods.
--
They’re laying on Ryan’s bed upstairs - Alex and Z are downstairs, maybe making dinner or something (Ryan can hear the clambering of pots and Z squawking at Alex) - just breathing. Not even touching. Ryan’s legs are dangling off of the bed, too long, but Jon is pushed further up so that his head and shoulders are upside down.
The blood slowly rushing to his head.
“Do you feel any different?”
“Am I supposed to?”
Jon sits up and Ryan looks up at him, and then reaches up and tangles his fingers through Jon’s hair. “Hey,” Jon mutters, annoyed at Ryan tugs - Ryan then whines quietly and it clicks. Jon lets himself get pulled down for a messy kiss, their teeth clacking in that inexperienced way they still manage every now and then. Jon laughs and they kiss for a couple of minutes, slow and careful, Jon running his thumb along Ryan’s jawbone.
“I always feel a bit better suited for you for those couple of weeks when we’re the same age.”
Jon snorts and touches his nose to Ryan’s. “You don’t like being the baby…?” he asks, placing another soft kiss on Ryan’s mouth. Ryan shrugs, and, fingers still tangled in Jon’s hair, sits up.
“I don’t know. It’s mostly without reason. I don’t get it. I just. Feel weird.”
Jon laughs. “Well, in a couple of weeks I’ll be twenty five and you’ll be the baby again, officially. Maybe you just have a thing for older men.”
Ryan snorts this time, burying his face in Jon’s shoulder. “Maybe I just have a thing for you,” he mumbles into the soft cotton of Jon’s shirt. Jon smiles into Ryan’s hair and winds an arm tightly around his waist.
“Love you, too.”
--
They do end up getting most of their equipment back, which is a good thing. A lot of fans actually send them messages of possible suspects selling their shit and while most are fake, eventually they find two dudes who are using Craigslist (badly). They’re in the process of getting through all of the legal shit when Jon’s birthday rolls along.
“You’re twenty five,” Ryan states, frowning, and Jon laughs. Tom looks up from the kitchen table and waves at Ryan, who waves back, a little confused. “Hi?”
Tom laughs and grabs Jon’s wrist - Jon stumbles back and has to use Tom as a balance. “You didn’t tell him I was staying?” Tom asks with a slight quirk of his mouth and Ryan swallows, hard.
Okay, so, truth be told, he’s a bit jealous of Tom.
Tom’s known Jon forever - and Ryan’s not really exaggerating - and Tom’s also known Ryan throughout a lot of his stupid phases. He toured with him, with Panic, and had been with Mike during the couple of awkward weeks of basically pretending to hate Panic for getting ‘bigger’ than The Academy Is….
Of course, that whole alliance with Mike obviously hadn’t mattered much in the long run.
And Tom’s a nice guy, Ryan likes Tom a lot, he just - he’s worried. Which is stupid, because he knows that Jon’s eyes at Tom are totally different from Jon’s eyes at himself but what if? There’s always that sneaky ‘what if?’ that has always planted itself into Ryan’s mind, his whole life, and it’s a scary thought.
“How old are you now, Ryan?” Tom asks, and Ryan blinks back into reality. “Twenty four? Damn, you are getting old. I remember when you were just a baby, what, seventeen, eighteen? Of course, I was younger then, too…” Tom’s playing with a loose string in Jon’s t-shirt, but Jon smacks lightly at his hand, moving over to Ryan and wrapping an arm loosely around his waist.
“Whatever, we’ve got plenty of time,” Jon says, voice happier than Ryan’s noticed it in days. He swallows again.
--
“Birthday blowjob?”
Jon looks at Ryan, sitting next to him, cross legged on Jon’s double bed, and then laughs. “Are you serious right now? It’s eight o’clock.”
Ryan flushes and looks down at his hands. If he wasn’t already nervous before, he’s certainly nervous now. “I just…I…” he stutters, and then he buries his face in his hands, groaning. “I’m such an idiot,” he says, his voice muffled.
“Hey,” Jon murmurs, tilting Ryan’s chin up - Ryan ducks away again but Jon chases him, forcing him into a kiss with strong hands and a strong smile. “Hey, I’m not…I’m not making fun of you.”
Ryan huffs, still a little shaky. “I’m nervous,” he says, quiet and secretive, and Jon obviously has trouble fighting back a laugh. Ryan flushes again. “I know we’re not in high school, but I sure as fuck feel like a high schooler.”
“Dude, did you give our free blowjobs in high school? If so, why didn’t I go to high school with you?”
Ryan shoves Jon, hard enough to make him almost lose his balance, and Jon laughs again. “I’m just trying to calm you down.” Jon suddenly presses his hand to Ryan’s chest and Ryan goes still. “I can feel your heartbeat.”
Ryan shouldn’t feel his heart going faster, but it does. He takes a shaky breath and glances up at Jon.
“Don’t be afraid,” Jon whispers, and he scoots forward a little, touching his mouth to Ryan’s. Ryan closes his eyes and touches Jon’s hip, settling into the comfortable atmosphere that just seems to happen when he’s with Jon. Even when he ends up a little jealous.
“I’m not afraid,” he finally murmurs, though it feels off topic. Jon just laughs. “Just a bit jealous.”
“Oh?” Jon asks softly, leaning his forward against Ryan’s. “And why is that?”
Ryan refuses to meet Jon’s gaze, staring at their touching knees on the bed, still too small for them. “Tom.”
Jon laughs again, loudly, and the flush Ryan had been trying to keep down seeps onto his cheeks. “Stop laughing,” he snaps, moving his hands from Jon’s hips to his chest, meaning to push back, hard. He ends up just clinging to his shirt, blinking back tears. “Please stop laughing,” he manages, his voice quivering.
“Hey, hey,” Jon coos, his voice just the right pitch, the right tone. He cups his warm hands against Ryan’s chin and kisses him, three times, quick in a row. By then, Ryan is smiling just a bit. “You know Alex? Your Alex? Alex from California, Alex?”
Ryan frowns, suddenly confused, and shrugs. “Greenwald. Yes. I know him.”
“Who is he?”
Ryan frowns harder, more confused. “An idiot…?”
Jon laughs, and Ryan scowls. “No. I mean, who is he to you. What’s the first thought that pops into your head when you think ‘Alex Greenwald’?”
“I - I…” Ryan initially trips over his words, and his eyes widen. “He’s my best friend.”
Jon smiles. “I’m not your best friend, Ryan. And truth be told, you’re not my best friend.” For a moment, Ryan looks slightly offended. “Tom’s my best friend. Tom has been my best friend for…for God knows how long. And believe me, I know how you feel. You must have noticed that Alex and I are not on the greatest of terms. I love that dude, believe me, I do. But I’m still a bit jealous myself.”
“This is so stupid!” Ryan snaps, dropping his head against Jon’s shoulder. “I know you’re not gonna - well, you know - and I’m not gonna either, so like. Why are we even.” Jon scrapes his fingers up Ryan’s back.
“It’s okay. It’s human.”
Ryan wraps his arms around Jon’s neck and crawls onto his lap, kissing his face and neck and down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. “I’m sorry,” Ryan mumbles against Jon’s skin as Jon twines his fingers into Ryan’s hair. “A lot.”
Jon just hums. “Happy birthday to me,” he says softly and Ryan laughs against his hip.
Pairing/Character(s): Jon Walker/Ryan Ross
Rating: PG-13
Summary: “Don’t be afraid,” Jon whispers, and he scoots forward a little, touching his mouth to Ryan’s. Ryan closes his eyes and touches Jon’s hip, settling into the comfortable atmosphere that just seems to happen when he’s with Jon. Even when he ends up a little jealous.
“I’m not afraid,” he finally murmurs, though it feels off topic. Jon just laughs. “Just a bit jealous.”
“Oh?” Jon asks softly, leaning his forward against Ryan’s. “And why is that?”
Ryan refuses to meet Jon’s gaze, staring at their touching knees on the bed, still too small for them. “Tom.”
Warning: None
Beta: N/A
Word Count: 1,436
A/N: For the stonersinlove 'birthdays and boyfriends' challenge. Title blatantly stolen from 14 Forever by Stars, because it seemed fitting.
“Happy birthday.”
Ryan laughs and cocks his hip out, raising an eyebrow at Jon standing in the doorway - he’s holding some flowers and wearing a sheepish smile.
“Did you actually fly down from Chicago or…?” Ryan smiles a bit, and from the couch, Alex looks up.
A smile spreads across his face and something flickers in his eyes - Ryan doesn’t see the face Jon makes at Alex because he’s busy looking at Alex - but Ryan does wonder what it means.
He looks back at Jon and steps back. “Sorry. Come in.”
“Thank you,” Jon laughs, stepping into the house. The air around the door is warm from the door having lingered open. Ryan sneezes.
“Bless you,” Jon says quietly, and he hands the flowers to Ryan.
Ryan smiles and just nods.
--
They’re laying on Ryan’s bed upstairs - Alex and Z are downstairs, maybe making dinner or something (Ryan can hear the clambering of pots and Z squawking at Alex) - just breathing. Not even touching. Ryan’s legs are dangling off of the bed, too long, but Jon is pushed further up so that his head and shoulders are upside down.
The blood slowly rushing to his head.
“Do you feel any different?”
“Am I supposed to?”
Jon sits up and Ryan looks up at him, and then reaches up and tangles his fingers through Jon’s hair. “Hey,” Jon mutters, annoyed at Ryan tugs - Ryan then whines quietly and it clicks. Jon lets himself get pulled down for a messy kiss, their teeth clacking in that inexperienced way they still manage every now and then. Jon laughs and they kiss for a couple of minutes, slow and careful, Jon running his thumb along Ryan’s jawbone.
“I always feel a bit better suited for you for those couple of weeks when we’re the same age.”
Jon snorts and touches his nose to Ryan’s. “You don’t like being the baby…?” he asks, placing another soft kiss on Ryan’s mouth. Ryan shrugs, and, fingers still tangled in Jon’s hair, sits up.
“I don’t know. It’s mostly without reason. I don’t get it. I just. Feel weird.”
Jon laughs. “Well, in a couple of weeks I’ll be twenty five and you’ll be the baby again, officially. Maybe you just have a thing for older men.”
Ryan snorts this time, burying his face in Jon’s shoulder. “Maybe I just have a thing for you,” he mumbles into the soft cotton of Jon’s shirt. Jon smiles into Ryan’s hair and winds an arm tightly around his waist.
“Love you, too.”
--
They do end up getting most of their equipment back, which is a good thing. A lot of fans actually send them messages of possible suspects selling their shit and while most are fake, eventually they find two dudes who are using Craigslist (badly). They’re in the process of getting through all of the legal shit when Jon’s birthday rolls along.
“You’re twenty five,” Ryan states, frowning, and Jon laughs. Tom looks up from the kitchen table and waves at Ryan, who waves back, a little confused. “Hi?”
Tom laughs and grabs Jon’s wrist - Jon stumbles back and has to use Tom as a balance. “You didn’t tell him I was staying?” Tom asks with a slight quirk of his mouth and Ryan swallows, hard.
Okay, so, truth be told, he’s a bit jealous of Tom.
Tom’s known Jon forever - and Ryan’s not really exaggerating - and Tom’s also known Ryan throughout a lot of his stupid phases. He toured with him, with Panic, and had been with Mike during the couple of awkward weeks of basically pretending to hate Panic for getting ‘bigger’ than The Academy Is….
Of course, that whole alliance with Mike obviously hadn’t mattered much in the long run.
And Tom’s a nice guy, Ryan likes Tom a lot, he just - he’s worried. Which is stupid, because he knows that Jon’s eyes at Tom are totally different from Jon’s eyes at himself but what if? There’s always that sneaky ‘what if?’ that has always planted itself into Ryan’s mind, his whole life, and it’s a scary thought.
“How old are you now, Ryan?” Tom asks, and Ryan blinks back into reality. “Twenty four? Damn, you are getting old. I remember when you were just a baby, what, seventeen, eighteen? Of course, I was younger then, too…” Tom’s playing with a loose string in Jon’s t-shirt, but Jon smacks lightly at his hand, moving over to Ryan and wrapping an arm loosely around his waist.
“Whatever, we’ve got plenty of time,” Jon says, voice happier than Ryan’s noticed it in days. He swallows again.
--
“Birthday blowjob?”
Jon looks at Ryan, sitting next to him, cross legged on Jon’s double bed, and then laughs. “Are you serious right now? It’s eight o’clock.”
Ryan flushes and looks down at his hands. If he wasn’t already nervous before, he’s certainly nervous now. “I just…I…” he stutters, and then he buries his face in his hands, groaning. “I’m such an idiot,” he says, his voice muffled.
“Hey,” Jon murmurs, tilting Ryan’s chin up - Ryan ducks away again but Jon chases him, forcing him into a kiss with strong hands and a strong smile. “Hey, I’m not…I’m not making fun of you.”
Ryan huffs, still a little shaky. “I’m nervous,” he says, quiet and secretive, and Jon obviously has trouble fighting back a laugh. Ryan flushes again. “I know we’re not in high school, but I sure as fuck feel like a high schooler.”
“Dude, did you give our free blowjobs in high school? If so, why didn’t I go to high school with you?”
Ryan shoves Jon, hard enough to make him almost lose his balance, and Jon laughs again. “I’m just trying to calm you down.” Jon suddenly presses his hand to Ryan’s chest and Ryan goes still. “I can feel your heartbeat.”
Ryan shouldn’t feel his heart going faster, but it does. He takes a shaky breath and glances up at Jon.
“Don’t be afraid,” Jon whispers, and he scoots forward a little, touching his mouth to Ryan’s. Ryan closes his eyes and touches Jon’s hip, settling into the comfortable atmosphere that just seems to happen when he’s with Jon. Even when he ends up a little jealous.
“I’m not afraid,” he finally murmurs, though it feels off topic. Jon just laughs. “Just a bit jealous.”
“Oh?” Jon asks softly, leaning his forward against Ryan’s. “And why is that?”
Ryan refuses to meet Jon’s gaze, staring at their touching knees on the bed, still too small for them. “Tom.”
Jon laughs again, loudly, and the flush Ryan had been trying to keep down seeps onto his cheeks. “Stop laughing,” he snaps, moving his hands from Jon’s hips to his chest, meaning to push back, hard. He ends up just clinging to his shirt, blinking back tears. “Please stop laughing,” he manages, his voice quivering.
“Hey, hey,” Jon coos, his voice just the right pitch, the right tone. He cups his warm hands against Ryan’s chin and kisses him, three times, quick in a row. By then, Ryan is smiling just a bit. “You know Alex? Your Alex? Alex from California, Alex?”
Ryan frowns, suddenly confused, and shrugs. “Greenwald. Yes. I know him.”
“Who is he?”
Ryan frowns harder, more confused. “An idiot…?”
Jon laughs, and Ryan scowls. “No. I mean, who is he to you. What’s the first thought that pops into your head when you think ‘Alex Greenwald’?”
“I - I…” Ryan initially trips over his words, and his eyes widen. “He’s my best friend.”
Jon smiles. “I’m not your best friend, Ryan. And truth be told, you’re not my best friend.” For a moment, Ryan looks slightly offended. “Tom’s my best friend. Tom has been my best friend for…for God knows how long. And believe me, I know how you feel. You must have noticed that Alex and I are not on the greatest of terms. I love that dude, believe me, I do. But I’m still a bit jealous myself.”
“This is so stupid!” Ryan snaps, dropping his head against Jon’s shoulder. “I know you’re not gonna - well, you know - and I’m not gonna either, so like. Why are we even.” Jon scrapes his fingers up Ryan’s back.
“It’s okay. It’s human.”
Ryan wraps his arms around Jon’s neck and crawls onto his lap, kissing his face and neck and down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. “I’m sorry,” Ryan mumbles against Jon’s skin as Jon twines his fingers into Ryan’s hair. “A lot.”
Jon just hums. “Happy birthday to me,” he says softly and Ryan laughs against his hip.