I hate you all
An essay
I hate you all. I know you’ve all “heard it before”.
But none of you know why I hate you all with such venom.
After this I think you will.
I hate you all, and hold you all responsible for making me the man I am today. You have by action or omission of action, have made me into what I am. The next time you bitch at me to stop being so something - surly, funny, smart, you get the picture, consider how it is that I got this way. Consider the little things that you have done to me, and how I have learnt from all those little things and how they are all a part of me.
I tell you that I forget things, and I do but for the most part they are not important. I remember everything else. Everything.
You have shaped me through your actions.
I can’t blame my parents, I assume they did their best, and judging from the pair of them I think I got away lightly. They are both very odd, and I can’t hold too much against them. They made me into a nice person. A good person. They did right by me, and right by you guys at the same time.
Oh what a treat I was. I never saw any of it coming and I learnt the hard way. My parents never poisoned me, never warned me what I would be getting from you people. They hoped, I assume, the silly idealists that they are, that I would be able to go proudly into the world and do the right thing. And this is what I have tried to do.
But you fuckers had to get in the way. You had to hurt me, betray me, hurt each other, betray, cheat, steal, and do countless other horrible things to each other, and I saw it all. I must have been horrified. You all probably cackled with glee when you saw this horror written on my face.
You have taught me through your actions that this is not the world that I thought it was and all that bullshit.
I have no self confidence to make a good decision, because I know I have to accommodate for the stupid and the selfish. I can quite happily make a bad decision, because you people enjoy that stuff, when I make a decision that hurts others, because that’s what makes you happy. You’re too powerless or gutless to do it yourself and you encourage me down the wrong paths because you haven’t got the stones to do it yourself.
It must be hard trying to make me do bad things, but I imagine quite rewarding when you finally do get me to do it. Quite a prize, my conceits. My weaknesses. My failures.
You’ve all taught me to distrust. You’ve all taught me to hate. You’ve all taught me to do these things, and to be honest, these things are quite alluring. I can see why you like them. But I know these things aren’t good. I don’t even have names for these things. I’ve refused to learn your language.
I have not been beaten. I have not caved in, to live like you trogs. I will not.
I despise what I am now. Ridiculous, no? But damn you all for making me into something that I never wanted to be. Damn all of you to wherever the fuck it is that you should go to repent for all you have done. Damn you all, and should there be no chance for you to repent, or make good for what you have done then fuck you, you’ve brought this all on yourselves.
I hate you all. I know you’ve all “heard it before”.
But none of you know why I hate you all with such venom.
After this I think you will.
I hate you all, and hold you all responsible for making me the man I am today. You have by action or omission of action, have made me into what I am. The next time you bitch at me to stop being so something - surly, funny, smart, you get the picture, consider how it is that I got this way. Consider the little things that you have done to me, and how I have learnt from all those little things and how they are all a part of me.
I tell you that I forget things, and I do but for the most part they are not important. I remember everything else. Everything.
You have shaped me through your actions.
I can’t blame my parents, I assume they did their best, and judging from the pair of them I think I got away lightly. They are both very odd, and I can’t hold too much against them. They made me into a nice person. A good person. They did right by me, and right by you guys at the same time.
Oh what a treat I was. I never saw any of it coming and I learnt the hard way. My parents never poisoned me, never warned me what I would be getting from you people. They hoped, I assume, the silly idealists that they are, that I would be able to go proudly into the world and do the right thing. And this is what I have tried to do.
But you fuckers had to get in the way. You had to hurt me, betray me, hurt each other, betray, cheat, steal, and do countless other horrible things to each other, and I saw it all. I must have been horrified. You all probably cackled with glee when you saw this horror written on my face.
You have taught me through your actions that this is not the world that I thought it was and all that bullshit.
I have no self confidence to make a good decision, because I know I have to accommodate for the stupid and the selfish. I can quite happily make a bad decision, because you people enjoy that stuff, when I make a decision that hurts others, because that’s what makes you happy. You’re too powerless or gutless to do it yourself and you encourage me down the wrong paths because you haven’t got the stones to do it yourself.
It must be hard trying to make me do bad things, but I imagine quite rewarding when you finally do get me to do it. Quite a prize, my conceits. My weaknesses. My failures.
You’ve all taught me to distrust. You’ve all taught me to hate. You’ve all taught me to do these things, and to be honest, these things are quite alluring. I can see why you like them. But I know these things aren’t good. I don’t even have names for these things. I’ve refused to learn your language.
I have not been beaten. I have not caved in, to live like you trogs. I will not.
I despise what I am now. Ridiculous, no? But damn you all for making me into something that I never wanted to be. Damn all of you to wherever the fuck it is that you should go to repent for all you have done. Damn you all, and should there be no chance for you to repent, or make good for what you have done then fuck you, you’ve brought this all on yourselves.