don't break the ice.
there are certain forces which insist upon making my life as difficult as they possibly can, and i don't think i should have to deal with it anymore. i finally allowed myself to get comfortable in my situation, and now (just like always), everything's about to get flipped upside-down on me again.
wow. i am so fucking surprised i could just puke.
it feels as if i'm never going to be granted the security that i desire, because every time i start to feel safe, some crazy shit happens to screw it all up once more. i just want stability. i don't understand what's so impossible about that. i don't know, maybe i'm just stupid about the way the world works, but i'm sick and tired of constantly feeling as though i'm being put through ridiculous bullshit just to test my resilience. i think i've been through enough already, thank you very much, sirs and madams. it just makes me ill to think of the quality of life of the people affecting mine. what the crap? i guess i think that being a basically good person should entitle me to immunity from stupid, worthless, cold-hearted bastards, but apparently it doesn't.
i just want something to be constant. is that too much to ask for? i want to know precisely where i'm going to be two months from now, and i want to know that everything is going to work out like everyone keeps insisting it will.
i believe that it will, but the thought of getting mixed in with people who have an extensive history of dicking over the people they call "friends" worries me. and it's not myself i'm worried about, because i've learned to keep myself far away from such predicaments. however, if learning must be done the hard way, then the hard way it shall be.
i do have my limits now though, and pushing them will result in undoubtedly unwanted consequences. i am no longer one to be trifled with. if a promise is made, i expect that it be kept. if a date is set, i expect that it be met, and i absolutely refuse to wait around while everyone else dicks around and pretends to be attempting to get their feet on the ground. i'll not be pulled down by another's lack of motivation. in a situation as serious as this, i will not tolerate being lied to, or let down. it's common knowledge that i disapprove of where this is going at the present time, but i'm also aware that there are grossly limited options at hand. this does not mean, however, that i'm going to put up with it longer than i feel i should have to. by the basic rules of essential logic, it should take me the longest to be ready, since i still have school to worry about for the time being. i won't put up with dalliance for long, simply because i don't feel that i should be forced to accept a situation that i'm beyond uncomfortable with if i'm the only one really working to rectify it.
that is all.
~*~alice~*~
wow. i am so fucking surprised i could just puke.
it feels as if i'm never going to be granted the security that i desire, because every time i start to feel safe, some crazy shit happens to screw it all up once more. i just want stability. i don't understand what's so impossible about that. i don't know, maybe i'm just stupid about the way the world works, but i'm sick and tired of constantly feeling as though i'm being put through ridiculous bullshit just to test my resilience. i think i've been through enough already, thank you very much, sirs and madams. it just makes me ill to think of the quality of life of the people affecting mine. what the crap? i guess i think that being a basically good person should entitle me to immunity from stupid, worthless, cold-hearted bastards, but apparently it doesn't.
i just want something to be constant. is that too much to ask for? i want to know precisely where i'm going to be two months from now, and i want to know that everything is going to work out like everyone keeps insisting it will.
i believe that it will, but the thought of getting mixed in with people who have an extensive history of dicking over the people they call "friends" worries me. and it's not myself i'm worried about, because i've learned to keep myself far away from such predicaments. however, if learning must be done the hard way, then the hard way it shall be.
i do have my limits now though, and pushing them will result in undoubtedly unwanted consequences. i am no longer one to be trifled with. if a promise is made, i expect that it be kept. if a date is set, i expect that it be met, and i absolutely refuse to wait around while everyone else dicks around and pretends to be attempting to get their feet on the ground. i'll not be pulled down by another's lack of motivation. in a situation as serious as this, i will not tolerate being lied to, or let down. it's common knowledge that i disapprove of where this is going at the present time, but i'm also aware that there are grossly limited options at hand. this does not mean, however, that i'm going to put up with it longer than i feel i should have to. by the basic rules of essential logic, it should take me the longest to be ready, since i still have school to worry about for the time being. i won't put up with dalliance for long, simply because i don't feel that i should be forced to accept a situation that i'm beyond uncomfortable with if i'm the only one really working to rectify it.
that is all.
~*~alice~*~