a reflection

May 24, 2014 10:27

how times have changed ( Read more... )

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chrishansenhome May 24 2014, 07:53:14 UTC
Two things. First, make sure you discuss this situation with your/a therapist. I realise that you feel that things are out of control. However, discussing this face-to-face with a sympathetic person will help.

Second: Do your best to bring your skills up to date. There is no field less tolerant of old skills than computer science. In the meantime, find a job that you can do until your skills are up to snuff. Perhaps swallowing your reservations and taking another testing job to keep earning while you study will help.

Please don't despair. There is a way out of this. But you have to chart a course and stick to it. Next job, whatever it is, do not quit the job until you have another one. And try to stay in the job long enough to convince future interviewers that you are serious about staying in one company for a while.

I wish I were around to lend you a shoulder to cry on and to wipe your tears away.

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smlee4 May 24 2014, 13:28:39 UTC
Hey Chris ( ... )

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chrishansenhome May 24 2014, 16:55:24 UTC
I do have a therapist who i visit regularly. But I decided to start looking for work again, so I will not see her anytime soon until I find work. Such therapy sessions are meant to make you see deep inside yourself and slowly realise or find what you truly are looking for. It is seldom used as a means to tell you what needs to be done.

Therapy can help you discover what you are looking for (as you remark above). It could assist in keeping you from yet again going down a dead end.

As for staying in a job for more than a year, pls believe me when I say I am not sure if I can do that. When I stayed for a full year at my last job, I was surprised at myself that I hung on.

Believe me when I say that therapy might help you discover why you become bored with your various jobs and don't stick with them for any length of time. This is a very important item for you to consider. If you don't begin staying with jobs for any length of time, you may find that you can't find a good job anywhere ( ... )

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smlee4 May 25 2014, 01:03:14 UTC
argh... i was typing halfway, and a wrong combination of keys erased it off ( ... )

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chrishansenhome May 25 2014, 07:39:50 UTC
The difference between advice and advise is that advice is a noun (I am giving you advice.) and advise is a verb (I advise you to be careful.) This is true in both US and UK English. Of course, English is a strange language ( ... )

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smlee4 May 25 2014, 08:32:50 UTC
argh.. i was replying via email just now when the wrong combination of keys erased it all off again ( ... )

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chrishansenhome May 25 2014, 11:32:40 UTC
It sounds like you are thinking about the things you need to consider before applying for further jobs.

I know that the previous 2-3 interviews weren't particularly good for you. Learn the lessons they teach you and move on. I had an interview with a company in Slough (far NW of the London area, hard to get to) and after a minute or two I told them, "You are looking for someone with skills I don't have. The recruiter must have sent me here on the off chance that I could do this job." We then had a pleasant chat and I left.

Good luck with the counselor. I'm sure you'll get through this.

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smlee4 May 26 2014, 00:39:24 UTC
Yup, I indeed had thought of what will make me stay in my next job ( ... )

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chrishansenhome May 26 2014, 07:27:33 UTC
Lighting a candle in church means that I will be doing that as a tangible sign that I'm holding you in my prayers.

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smlee4 May 26 2014, 14:21:28 UTC
Thanks, lighting up of the candle is very much appreciated :)

I also headed down to the temple and prayed fervently for my career, hoping that I can get good news this thursday. As I prayed, tears (of regret?) rolled down.

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