[Criminal Minds] Lorenz Attractor (JJ/Hotch, PG-13) (1/1)
Title: Lorenz Attractor
Author: smittywing/Smitty
Pairing: Jennifer Jareau/Aaron Hotchner
Rating: PG-13...if that
Wordcount: ~1150
Spoilers/Warning: Some future season. No real spoilers.
Notes: shetiger asked for, "something where JJ and Hotch are just hanging on by fingernails not to give in, but then they do. Maybe a hug lasts a little too long, or staring at each other across the room, or whatever." Kaboodles of thanks to reccea for betaing. The Lorenz Attractor is the set of equations used to model the butterfly effect.
Lorentz Attractor
“Here,” JJ says, holding out a cup of water and two Advil in her palm. “Take these.”
Aaron looks up and blinks when his vision doesn’t focus immediately. He’s been staring too long at the coroner’s supplemental report and the space between his eyes aches. “How did you know?” he asks, taking the cup. She doesn’t move to tilt her palm over his, so Aaron reaches for the pills, letting his fingertips linger guiltily on the warm skin of her hand as he pretends to fumble.
JJ smiles, her dimples showing. “You were pinching the bridge of your nose,” she says fondly - it sounds fond. He hopes it's fond. He knows it probably was, because JJ loves the team, none of them more than another, and fond used to be enough but now, after all this time, he wants it to be fond of him.
He lifts an eyebrow at her before dropping the pills in his mouth and washing them down with the water. “I thought you didn’t want to be a profiler,” he offers casually. She glares and he lets her see his own dimple. "What are you doing here so late?" he asks.
JJ shrugs and drops into the chair across from him. The elegant lift of her shoulders betrays a weariness he wishes he could wipe away, like smudging condensation off a plastic cup with his thumb. "Henry's having a sleepover with my mom," she says. "I'm supposed to be relaxing for the night, but a girl can only shave her legs so many times before it only takes five minutes."
Aaron pushes the cup in a circle with his thumb. "It's kind of lonely when they're not around, isn't it?" he says. He knows JJ, has watched her, listened to her, even smelled and touched her for so long that he thinks he can make this assumption. Never tasted, his traitorous subconscious whistles at him. He's never tasted her.
But he's wanted to.
"Jessica wanted Jack to meet her new girlfriend," he says. "I...I don't want to go home either."
JJ leans her head into her hand, golden hair swinging to the side, a strand catching on her cheek. "We're quite the pair," she says. "Working to avoid having to play Lincoln Logs by ourselves."
The words are on the tip of Aaron's tongue. Come home with me. We don't have to be by ourselves. "I'll play Lincoln Logs with you."
It's not possible that he actually said that aloud. Aaron Hotchner is an adult. A man who uses words to prosecute criminals, to interrogate them, to manipulate them. He is very controlled and very careful with his choice of words. He does not make mistakes like that.
At least he hasn't since he was the worst Third Pirate in the history of the Pirates of Penzance and simultaneously discovered stage fright and Haley Brooks.
JJ smiles at him bemusedly and says, "I think that might be the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week." She's watching him carefully, clearly aware of just how out of character his statement was.
He could backpedal. It would be easy - JJ's given him the opening to laugh it off, to make it the joke it should be. But another possibility looms before him and it's not in his nature to retreat.
JJ's still on the other side of his desk. He has some distance, some propriety. He doesn't need to close that space. If he got up, circled the desk, even sat in the other chair, there are countless ways their lives would change, countless repercussions, echoing ever outward from the flap of a butterfly's wings or the slow blink of JJ's long lashes on her cheek.
Some of them would even be good.
Feeling this way should be wrong, there are rules and regulations that assure him of that. But he's needed JJ too much, relied on her too often, for his affection and regard to be inappropriate. So he just inclined his head and said, "You're welcome." It's a lateral move. He hasn't advanced, but he didn't cede ground either.
"You know," JJ said, rubbing her thumb against the inside band of the citrine ring she still wore on her right hand. She'd asked him his opinion when Will had gone - whether she should stop wearing it or not. But it was for Henry, he'd reminded her, echoing only what she'd told him. And she would always have Will in Henry so she should continue to wear the ring. And she did. "Those boxes of macaroni and cheese are really meant for two people."
"I think I only have chicken nuggets," Aaron confesses. His blood is beating in his ears and he feels oddly like he's in high school, if high school had involved parenthood and serial killers and fraternization regulations.
"Well," JJ says, pushing herself out of the chair, "I guess I could share." She takes a few steps around his desk and pauses. She glances at the floor and the desk, gauging the distance, as if afraid to cross an invisible line only he can see. But there hasn't been lines for JJ in a long time, and Aaron realizes just how long he's been waiting for this.
He stands up too fast, tripping on the chair, pushing it away recklessly. JJ reaches out, not too far, like a tow line, offering him salvation from the sucking pull of duty, but making him reach for it, work for it.
It's almost shocking when his fingertips touch hers.
Ten minutes ago, he was content with a stolen moment, with a brush of his fingertips on her palm and pretending he could have more than he did. But now, after the flap of that butterfly's wings, after the blink of JJ's lashes, it's everything and when he presses his palm to hers and her fingers wrap around his knuckles, it's only the beginning.
He doesn't stop there and she doesn't back up and he's an inch from her mouth when he says, "So, I was thinking of kissing you."
"That sounds good to me," JJ laughs, her breath gusting against his lips. She smells like chocolate and lavender and Aaron leans forward and fits his mouth to her smaller one and finally.
Finally.
Tastes her.
Author: smittywing/Smitty
Pairing: Jennifer Jareau/Aaron Hotchner
Rating: PG-13...if that
Wordcount: ~1150
Spoilers/Warning: Some future season. No real spoilers.
Notes: shetiger asked for, "something where JJ and Hotch are just hanging on by fingernails not to give in, but then they do. Maybe a hug lasts a little too long, or staring at each other across the room, or whatever." Kaboodles of thanks to reccea for betaing. The Lorenz Attractor is the set of equations used to model the butterfly effect.
Lorentz Attractor
“Here,” JJ says, holding out a cup of water and two Advil in her palm. “Take these.”
Aaron looks up and blinks when his vision doesn’t focus immediately. He’s been staring too long at the coroner’s supplemental report and the space between his eyes aches. “How did you know?” he asks, taking the cup. She doesn’t move to tilt her palm over his, so Aaron reaches for the pills, letting his fingertips linger guiltily on the warm skin of her hand as he pretends to fumble.
JJ smiles, her dimples showing. “You were pinching the bridge of your nose,” she says fondly - it sounds fond. He hopes it's fond. He knows it probably was, because JJ loves the team, none of them more than another, and fond used to be enough but now, after all this time, he wants it to be fond of him.
He lifts an eyebrow at her before dropping the pills in his mouth and washing them down with the water. “I thought you didn’t want to be a profiler,” he offers casually. She glares and he lets her see his own dimple. "What are you doing here so late?" he asks.
JJ shrugs and drops into the chair across from him. The elegant lift of her shoulders betrays a weariness he wishes he could wipe away, like smudging condensation off a plastic cup with his thumb. "Henry's having a sleepover with my mom," she says. "I'm supposed to be relaxing for the night, but a girl can only shave her legs so many times before it only takes five minutes."
Aaron pushes the cup in a circle with his thumb. "It's kind of lonely when they're not around, isn't it?" he says. He knows JJ, has watched her, listened to her, even smelled and touched her for so long that he thinks he can make this assumption. Never tasted, his traitorous subconscious whistles at him. He's never tasted her.
But he's wanted to.
"Jessica wanted Jack to meet her new girlfriend," he says. "I...I don't want to go home either."
JJ leans her head into her hand, golden hair swinging to the side, a strand catching on her cheek. "We're quite the pair," she says. "Working to avoid having to play Lincoln Logs by ourselves."
The words are on the tip of Aaron's tongue. Come home with me. We don't have to be by ourselves. "I'll play Lincoln Logs with you."
It's not possible that he actually said that aloud. Aaron Hotchner is an adult. A man who uses words to prosecute criminals, to interrogate them, to manipulate them. He is very controlled and very careful with his choice of words. He does not make mistakes like that.
At least he hasn't since he was the worst Third Pirate in the history of the Pirates of Penzance and simultaneously discovered stage fright and Haley Brooks.
JJ smiles at him bemusedly and says, "I think that might be the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week." She's watching him carefully, clearly aware of just how out of character his statement was.
He could backpedal. It would be easy - JJ's given him the opening to laugh it off, to make it the joke it should be. But another possibility looms before him and it's not in his nature to retreat.
JJ's still on the other side of his desk. He has some distance, some propriety. He doesn't need to close that space. If he got up, circled the desk, even sat in the other chair, there are countless ways their lives would change, countless repercussions, echoing ever outward from the flap of a butterfly's wings or the slow blink of JJ's long lashes on her cheek.
Some of them would even be good.
Feeling this way should be wrong, there are rules and regulations that assure him of that. But he's needed JJ too much, relied on her too often, for his affection and regard to be inappropriate. So he just inclined his head and said, "You're welcome." It's a lateral move. He hasn't advanced, but he didn't cede ground either.
"You know," JJ said, rubbing her thumb against the inside band of the citrine ring she still wore on her right hand. She'd asked him his opinion when Will had gone - whether she should stop wearing it or not. But it was for Henry, he'd reminded her, echoing only what she'd told him. And she would always have Will in Henry so she should continue to wear the ring. And she did. "Those boxes of macaroni and cheese are really meant for two people."
"I think I only have chicken nuggets," Aaron confesses. His blood is beating in his ears and he feels oddly like he's in high school, if high school had involved parenthood and serial killers and fraternization regulations.
"Well," JJ says, pushing herself out of the chair, "I guess I could share." She takes a few steps around his desk and pauses. She glances at the floor and the desk, gauging the distance, as if afraid to cross an invisible line only he can see. But there hasn't been lines for JJ in a long time, and Aaron realizes just how long he's been waiting for this.
He stands up too fast, tripping on the chair, pushing it away recklessly. JJ reaches out, not too far, like a tow line, offering him salvation from the sucking pull of duty, but making him reach for it, work for it.
It's almost shocking when his fingertips touch hers.
Ten minutes ago, he was content with a stolen moment, with a brush of his fingertips on her palm and pretending he could have more than he did. But now, after the flap of that butterfly's wings, after the blink of JJ's lashes, it's everything and when he presses his palm to hers and her fingers wrap around his knuckles, it's only the beginning.
He doesn't stop there and she doesn't back up and he's an inch from her mouth when he says, "So, I was thinking of kissing you."
"That sounds good to me," JJ laughs, her breath gusting against his lips. She smells like chocolate and lavender and Aaron leans forward and fits his mouth to her smaller one and finally.
Finally.
Tastes her.