[locked to Lena]

[smithnjones]

Are you alright?

I saw the entry, and I didn't know what to think.

You don't have to tell me what happened, but I wanted you to know if you ever need a place to stay, I recently got a house. It's Wes and I, David and Anne who're family. There's an extra room, and it's always open to you should you want it.

[Address inserted here.]

Comments

[willnotbemine]

[Lena has no way of knowing what that entry says but she can't help wanting to see it. She'd known there had to have been one, if Charlie was also looking for her. Still, there's a moment where she can't quite catch her breath.]

I'm better than I was. It's funny we were just talking about changes, especially the bad ones, and using them as tools.

I was going through a final reset and it didn't end very well. It's hard to explain over the journals but I kind of helped make a mess of things. I'm just so sorry he roped you all into it, too. I didn't mean to worry you or anyone.

Thank you so much for the offer. I might have to take you up on that since I'm--we'll be looking for a new place to live. Lucky and me.

[smithnjones]

Sometimes, as terrible as the universe is, it has surprisingly perfect timing. It was helping me adjust to my change and preparing you for your own.

No, don't be sorry. We weren't roped into anything. We're your friends. There's nothing at all to be roped into. We'd want to help you as you'd do the same for any of us. It's what friendship is. I don't think that

It seems he wanted to help you in maybe the only way he could at that point.

[Slight, slight pause as she understands the depths of what happened and what this mean that she's looking for a new place to live.]

You're welcome, and you are both welcome at he house any time that you'd like and for how ever long.

[willnotbemine]

It really does. Have some sense of timing, I mean. I've been going through that conversation over and over in my head. Especially the using it all as a tool part. How have you been doing? I'd have checked up on you, but as you know, things... happened. I'd still like to know how you've been.

Logically, I know that, I just hate the thought of everyone running around and worrying, but I know.

Yeah, I guess he did.

[She has no real insight to talk about when it comes to that. :c]

Thank you. Again. I mean that.

[prose-time]

[smithnjones]

Martha would have answered the question if she had known how but she doesn't. She's better than she was. It helps to have her own home and have that distance from a Tower that reminds her of her responsibilities as a leader. It helps to have the space where she's Martha Jones. It may be easier for her to articulate it in person, but it's much more difficult to do so with pen and paper.

Lena and Lucky are spending the night here and looking for a place of their own tomorrow. It worries her to think of what could split a family like that even if it's only between the two of them. All of it has seemed very final, and it's worrying to remember that there is more than death that can tear people apart and death is so common as it is. She's concerned about her friend, and they only met the once but the conversation they had was very real, very powerful, very important to Martha. It helped her when little else could

[willnotbemine]

The sun hasn't risen and Lena hasn't slept. She's not a morning person as it is. She is and forever has been a ~demon of the night~ night person, and that is likely to never change. She's always up at really late hours, finding something to do because she's as alert as... something that is very alert. So the fact she isn't asleep isn't out of the ordinary, even if the reasons for it this time are.

It's been rough on everyone. She can see it, and every time she sees it, she hates herself a little bit more.

She steps into the kitchen to get something to drink. She's probably one of the only characters the narration writes for that doesn't drink a lot of coffee, but she will every now and then, especially if she's been up for a long time. She doesn't seem too surprised to find Martha there, but she still smiles warmly at the other woman regardless.

"Hey," she says, tying the strings of her robe together. Lena steps further into the kitchen and sits down across from Martha at the table. "Couldn't sleep?"

[smithnjones]

Martha looks up at her when she steps into the kitchen. She had a sense that if anyone would wander down here before the sun had risen, it would be her. It must be hard to sleep with everything that's happened, and Martha doesn't know the full details of what did happen. But it must be.

She takes a long sip of the coffee in her hand.

"Morning. Or... really late evening to you. Yeah, been having trouble with that for the past two months or so. ...and here I am, drinking coffee which is more than a little counterproductive I realize," Martha says with a small smile as she shakes her head, rubbing the back of her neck.

It's been a long year.

"You having trouble sleeping too? Can't think of another reason for someone to be up at this hour."

[willnotbemine]

"It makes sense to me. You're going to be up anyway, you might as well be up and fully alert instead of drowsy and still unable to sleep," Lena says, placing both her hands over the counter. Of course, that means there'd be even less of a chance of sleep, but sleep's overrated, anyway.

Her train of thought when it comes to that hasn't changed, at least. Even if everything else seems very different.

"I don't sleep much in general," Lena admits, cradling the back of her neck. "I don't know if it's a demon thing or a Lena thing. I've always been a night person, but I guess that's been more true lately. I slept for a whole week on end save for certain stretches of time, so sleep's kind of the last thing I need nowadays."

She isn't sure what she needs, other than what she already has, but sleep, for the time being, isn't one of them.

[smithnjones]

"Yeah, that's... exactly it, I think. If I'm up, I might as well attempt to do something productive. I hate that between sleep and waking state where you're too drowsy to really function," Martha says and grimaces at the thought of it. She's not feeling that way at the moment because of the coffee, but she might have without it

[willnotbemine]

"I do know, but that's part of the problem," Lena says, and the warmth in the smile doesn't leave, even if the smile turns a little sad. She wants so many things. She needs half of those things. Some of them are possible and some of them, not so much

[smithnjones]

Martha is quiet as she listens to Lena say what it is that she wants, what she needs.

"Why is it that you can't do that? Travel, I mean. It's not that-- I would obviously miss you if you left, but... I don't know. It might help to get some space from the city," she says quietly. Then again, she knows why she can't leave whenever she gets that wanderlust urge. Chicago is home. She has people here. She has responsibilities, but more than that, she has people here.

If something were to happen to them while she was traveling around the world, she doesn't know how she'd be able to handle that. "It's normal that they're sad. It's a part of life, yes. It's a part that... it makes the good worth more. If there was only good all the time, only happiness, it wouldn't be as wonderful as it is. I know that's not much of a comfort but... sadness is necessary as painful as it is to see those we love sad

[willnotbemine]

Lena laughs quietly, shaking her head almost imperceptibly. "I don't know. Maybe in the future I will, but I can't when everything's such a mess and I played a big part in creating that mess. I'd feel too responsible over it to just up and leave. There's my godson, there's the missions, there's... still my family. I couldn't leave knowing what everything's been left like," she says, her hand still cradling the side of her neck

[smithnjones]

Martha knew the answer that she'd give before she answered but she smiles and nods. "I understand. Although if you wait for everything to not be a mess around this city, you may be waiting for forever," she says, and it's not really an exaggeration at all in Chicago. "But I've wanted to leave before, wander around for awhile. I used to travel all of time and space so I get that urge in my bones I guess, and... I never could

[willnotbemine]

"Yeah, I know," she says with a small smile. "But it's a choice I can live with

[smithnjones]

"That's all you can do sometimes," Martha says, and there's a sad smile as she folds her hands together over the mug of coffee. The heat of it hits her palms, and she closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath before she looks back at Lena across the able. "Make choices that you can live with

[willnotbemine]

Maybe Martha is right. Maybe all you can do is make choices you can live with, and maybe that's why Sonny--but Lena doesn't let herself finish that train of thought. Even his name makes her throat clog and her chest tighten painfully, and so she shoves it aside. As long as she's not thinking about it, she's okay. She can function. She can even be somewhat similar to who she used to be

[smithnjones]

Fwaugh, Lena. Daw. Sonny has issues doing the same, but it will all get better at some point. It has to. The narration believes that it will even though it may take a lot of time. They're all too interconnected to be able to let it fall away