empowerment.
I am constantly blown away by the writing of my peers in science and human values. I was so honored today to have been chosen along with five others to share our papers with the class. Professor Andrews set aside his lecture notes to allow the five of us to share our papers - something so different, so new. Our papers were so intimate; they reflected our past, present, and future. When he asked me to start things off by reading my paper first, I’ve never been so nervous, so terrified. I knew everyone would have their eyes on me. I knew everyone would catch a glimpse of the inner me, a part of me that hasn’t even been revealed to my own close friends. So I was about to unleash a part of my inner-me to a room practically full of strangers. I felt vulnerable. I felt afraid; afraid of what they might think of me, of my writing. A few seconds after the professor asked me to read my paper, I looked around the circle of my peers, took a deep breath, and started reading. Once I finished reading the first sentence, all my fears and inhibitions seemed to fade away. I let go of all controls and began to trust; trust in myself, trust in the people surrounding me. I trusted my peers. I was completely immersed in the present moment; it felt like time actually stopped.
The last two readers revealed so much of themselves that I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. I have never been so emotional in a class. I empathized through their words. Their words were so powerful that I felt like I lived their life. I felt like I cried their tears, struggled their struggles, smiled their smiles, fell their falls, and suffered their sufferings. They were so strong to have shared something so traumatizing. They pushed through tears to continue reading. I wanted to walk over and give them a hug. And tell them that we cared, that we’ll be here to listen and comfort when the rest of world turns their back on them. I no longer see them as normal individuals, but individuals of courage, strength, and confidence. When they finished reading their papers, I looked around to see how others reacted. Many were still transfixed and many were wiping away tears. I wiped away my own tears and smiled. The silence in the room never felt so comfortable. The faces around me never seemed so familiar.
I think the people who took the class merely to fulfill a general education requirement are beginning to realize that there is so much more. The class is slowly transforming each one of us. I feel myself constantly changing as a person. It’s unbelievable how a class can be so life-altering. Although I haven’t had the chance to have a ‘meaningful exchange’ with everybody in the class yet (my goal before the end of the quarter), I am honored to be in the presence of them. It’s comforting to know that everyone trusts everyone. I find that I am generally happier in this class and in my humanistic psychology class - happier than most of my other better moments. I find that I have more fun engaged in a deep conversation with somebody new than any party I’ve been to…combined. What is it about me and strangers? I find comfort in the presence of unfamiliar faces and surroundings rather than the old and familiar.
I’ve wanted to hide from the world these past weeks and I haven’t been as happy as I was a month ago. I have so many burdens on my shoulders that my knees are beginning to bend and break. I’ve been finding comfort in isolating myself in my room and strengthening this relationship with myself. I’ve written over 15 pages in my personal journal these past 2 weeks and have played the same “thought-provoking” playlist on repeat on iTunes.
I am empowered and will forever be changed.
The last two readers revealed so much of themselves that I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. I have never been so emotional in a class. I empathized through their words. Their words were so powerful that I felt like I lived their life. I felt like I cried their tears, struggled their struggles, smiled their smiles, fell their falls, and suffered their sufferings. They were so strong to have shared something so traumatizing. They pushed through tears to continue reading. I wanted to walk over and give them a hug. And tell them that we cared, that we’ll be here to listen and comfort when the rest of world turns their back on them. I no longer see them as normal individuals, but individuals of courage, strength, and confidence. When they finished reading their papers, I looked around to see how others reacted. Many were still transfixed and many were wiping away tears. I wiped away my own tears and smiled. The silence in the room never felt so comfortable. The faces around me never seemed so familiar.
I think the people who took the class merely to fulfill a general education requirement are beginning to realize that there is so much more. The class is slowly transforming each one of us. I feel myself constantly changing as a person. It’s unbelievable how a class can be so life-altering. Although I haven’t had the chance to have a ‘meaningful exchange’ with everybody in the class yet (my goal before the end of the quarter), I am honored to be in the presence of them. It’s comforting to know that everyone trusts everyone. I find that I am generally happier in this class and in my humanistic psychology class - happier than most of my other better moments. I find that I have more fun engaged in a deep conversation with somebody new than any party I’ve been to…combined. What is it about me and strangers? I find comfort in the presence of unfamiliar faces and surroundings rather than the old and familiar.
I’ve wanted to hide from the world these past weeks and I haven’t been as happy as I was a month ago. I have so many burdens on my shoulders that my knees are beginning to bend and break. I’ve been finding comfort in isolating myself in my room and strengthening this relationship with myself. I’ve written over 15 pages in my personal journal these past 2 weeks and have played the same “thought-provoking” playlist on repeat on iTunes.
I am empowered and will forever be changed.