(no subject)

[smileycrayons]

I always forget
the most important things.
I have to remind myself
to be strong.
It's so hard.
It's hard to remember.
I made myself at home
in the silence
long ago.
But somewhere within me
I've always had
faith
I've always had
hope.
I've come close
to giving up
But I don't want
to let you win.
Just believe.
Believe in people.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in tomorrow.
At my core,
I really felt
like I didn't deserve anything
good.
That the world would be better
without me.
I don't exactly know why
I hated myself to that extent.
But people do, they hate themselves.
I felt like I lost
everything I knew,
all of me.
I was never good
at letting go
or embracing change.
I've never wanted to hurt anyone
So I never understood why
people wanted to hurt me.
I didn't know how to love
without being naive.
Giving everything
without asking for anything
until I was empty.
And trusting
no matter how I was let down
until I couldn't open
my heart anymore.
But the things I've learned
The people I've met
The things I've experienced
are all so beautiful.
I have had a life
full of light.
I keep getting wrapped up
in my own darkness,
holding on to what hurts me.
I was loved
I had people who belived in me
I'm still loved
I still have people who belive in me.
Just wait for me
a little longer.
I'll get out of this.
I might forget again
But I'll remember again
I'm sure.