Stag Night
Title: Stag Night
Author: Your’s truly
Fandom: Fregg! Hooray
Pairing: Simon Pegg/Nick Frost, Simon/Maureen (Simon’s wife, fyi)
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Drug use, het stuff, discussions about a mother’s vagina, and fluff is pretty much overflowing.
A/N: Hellz yes for my first Fregg fic! Anyway, I love this fandom. Ya’ll over at fregg_love are awesome and hopefully this is good. I wrote it in about 2 hours while being distracted by TV/youtube/livejournal/my parents, all while incredibly hung over. Hopefully the grammar mistakes aren’t rampant… if you notice any, let me know!
Length: 2802
Feedback: I loves it.
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and any similarity between fictional characters and real people are purely coincidental.
Summary: Sometimes new worlds and old worlds can coincide just fine.
STAG NIGHT
Simon sat, knee jiggling slightly, hand twisting the remote that lay in his twitching fingers, alternatively switching the mute button on and off.
“-don’t know where-"
Silence.
“-Still at lar-"
Silence.
“-vidence sugges-"
There was a knock on the door, in the “Shave and a haircut” fashion, causing Simon’s face to spread into a grin as he sang lightly to himself: “Two bits…”
Nearly hopping to his feet he made his way to the door, he paused for a moment to peer hastily at his reflection in the mirror at the end of the hall. He chuckled to himself chidingly, shaking his head and feeling silly for being nervous.
“Oy,” came a muffled call through his door. “Cuuuunt.”
Smile growing steadily into a grin, Simon stood behind the door but did not open it. “Who’s that then?” he asked, crossing his arms and biting his tongue as he tried not to laugh.
“Your mum,” was the reply. “Nick got to be too much for me, and I was wondering if you’d have a look at my naff to see if he got it infected from fucking me so much.”
A laugh burst from his chest and he threw open the door, regarding his friend with a mollifying stare. “I’ll have you know my mum is a good and decent woman,” he reprimanded, a serious look on his face, “and would never stoop so low as to get an infection from too much fucking. She has more restraint than that, Nicholas.”
“Oh, my mistake,” Nick sighed throwing up his arms. There was a pause as the two regarded each other. “Am I allowed in, or…?”
Giggling, Simon dropped the serious act and pulled his friend into a hug. “Hey wanker.”
“Hey yourself,” Nick chuckled, hugging back warmly. “Sooo, am I right in assuming you’ve got booze?”
Simon raised an eyebrow. “Am I right in assuming that you’ve got weed?”
They stared at each other again before Simon reached behind the door and Nick reached into his pocket, both producing said items at the same time.
“Eyyy,” they said in unison, giving each other a high five and heading into the kitchen. Nick proceeded to hop up onto the counter, looking worried for a second as the wood creaked. When nothing further happened, he sighed happily and took the beer Simon offered him.
“So,” he began, popping open the bottle using the countertop’s edge. “How you holding up, champ?”
“Good. Excited. Nervous. A bit queasy. And horny.”
“Hence me being here.”
“Hence you being here, yes.” The two smiled at each other before Simon could no longer stand being still and began pacing the length of the kitchen.
“You talk to Maureen today?”
“Yeah,” he replied, drinking from his beer hastily.
“How’d she sound?”
Simon shrugged, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “Alright, I guess. ‘bout the same as me.”
“So like a giddy git, then?” Nick asked, smiling slightly.
“Uh, yes, about right,” Simon giggled, rubbing his eyes.
“God!” Nick suddenly shouted, bursting into laughter. “Stop pacing, man! Get a fucking hold of yourself.”
Simon joined his laughter and halted, still bouncing slightly. “Sorry, sorry. Just… I feel wired, you know? Like… really wired.”
“Wired, you say?”
“Wi-red.”
Nick sighed and slid ungracefully off the counter, grabbing Simon’s hand to steady himself as he almost tumbled to the floor. Standing straight, he produced the marijuana again. “You need to relax,” he stated reasonably, making his way to the living room.
“Yeah, I’m just… I think I’m going to get chatty…”
“I like it when you’re chatty.”
“You like me all the time,” Simon chuckled, sitting next to Nick on the floor as the other man set things up on the coffee table. It was almost an unwritten rule with them that you must sit on the floor whilst smoking. People who toked in chairs were obviously pricks. Why this was a rule, neither knew, but that was the nice thing about their relationship… they didn’t need to discuss such things.
“True,” Nick responded easily, getting the blunt ready. “But you like me too.”
Simon smiled gently and murmured a soft, “Yeah.”
As he continued to bounce his knee, Nick sent him a sidelong glance. “You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah,” Simon responded, sounding overly nonchalant. “Well,” he amended after a second of having Nick’s eyebrow raised at him, “I’m just… it’s a big deal, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Nick agreed, continuing his task. He was fantastically good at rolling… would probably put most Cuban cigar-makers to shame, really. Simon took another pull from his beer.
“And, I mean, it’s like there’s this whole new chapter in my life opening up and this old one closing and… I’m not sure whether to feel sad or deliriously happy or to just shut off my brain and go with it, you know?”
The corners of Nick’s mouth twitched into a smile. “I’d say the latter of the three would be best for you. Of course… Knowing you, that’s the least likely to happen.”
Simon sighed and flopped onto his back, draping an arm halfway over his eyes. “I just want everything to work out alright. Like… best of both worlds. Old life goodness and new life goodness.”
Nick nodded slightly before grinning as he produced a beautiful spliff. “Tada,” he exclaimed quietly, causing Simon to smile and sit up. Getting out a lighter, Nick held up the joint. “Here’s to new chapters and old chapters and all that rubbish. Cheers.” He passed it to Simon, winking at the other man.
“Cheers,” Simon giggled, taking it and holding it to his lips. Once it was lit, he took a long drag, eyes slipping closed as he felt the smoke fill his lungs. “Oh, lordy,” he exhaled, breathing out the hazy air and handing the joint over to Nick. “That’s some good shit,” he suddenly coughed, tears pricking in his eyes.
“Only the best,” Nick winked again, “from the Best Man.” Sucking in the smoke, Nick grinned and closed his eyes before exhaling. “Ah,” he murmured, passing it back to Simon. “That really is nice.” He paused for a moment and watched his friend take another drag before shaking himself and looking around. “Music,” he stated. “We need some music. Do you want music?”
“Yeah, music’s good,” Simon responded, smiling easily and blinking with slightly heavier lids.
“Okay, what music?”
Shrugging, Simon waved to his stereo. “Dunno. Whatever you want, mate, works, you know.”
Taking one more puff, Nick hauled himself to his knees and crawled over to look at the CD collection. “Crap,” he muttered softly as he pawed through them, causing Simon to giggle. “Crap, crap, craaaap… total crap. Utter crap. Is this Celine Dion?”
“Maybe,” Simon responded cryptically.
“Wow, fan of Titanic much?”
“I’m gay for Leo,” Simon admitted, lying on his back again.
“I thought you were gay for me,” Nick pouted, going back to his search.
“I’m more gay for you,” Simon amended, making his friend glance back at him and grin. “But come on. Jack is amazing.”
“I bet you cry every time he dies,” Nick giggled, tossing yet another CD aside.
“Every fucking time,” Simon sighed sadly, shaking his head and putting the joint to his lips again. “I’m always like, ‘Fuck you, Kate Winslet! I would have let him on the giant door!’” He shook his head sadly. “Yet, she never listens. Stupid hypothermic bitch.”
“Too right,” Nick laughed, making a delighted noise as he finally found something to his fancy. “Electric Warrior! Yeah boiyeee.”
Simon giggled, fingers rubbing his eyes yet again as he took another toke. “God, I love Bolan’s voice. Isn’t this one of the first albums we ever listened to together whilst high?”
Nick nodded as he scooted to lie down next to Simon. He took the joint from the other man, knocking his head slightly against Simon’s in affection. “Yeah. I think you cried.”
“Well…” Simon huffed, frowning. “He’s dead! It’s sad!”
“Are… are you going to cry now?” Nick asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.
“No!” his friend responded indignantly, though he flagged after a moment. “Well… not yet anyway.”
“Good thing I’m used to you getting all blubbery,” Nick chuckled, passing the joint back.
They sat in silence for a moment, both just breathing in the smoky air and each other’s company. Simon fought the desperate feelings surging through him again, telling himself not to worry. Things weren’t going to change. They couldn’t. They wouldn’t.
… would they?
“Hey,” Nick suddenly said quietly, shaking Simon from his inner thought-war. “You know what you said earlier, about, uh… both worlds and shit?”
“Yeah?” Simon answered quietly, curious as to where this was going.
“This doesn’t have to change, you know,” his friend murmured, examining the joint between his fingers. “We’re still going to be best mates, married or not. I just… I’ll feel the same as ever, yeah?”
Simon smiled slightly, watching Nick’s downcast eyes. “Meaning I can have both my wife and heterosexual life partner?”
“Yeah,” Nick said, nonchalantly shrugging. “If you want.”
“I can’t think of anything better,” Simon responded, making Nick’s face grow into a grin.
“Gaaaay,” was all he said before handing the joint back and coughing into his fist. “God, we’re so queer. Who spends a bloke’s pre-wedding night with just another bloke?”
“What, should we… should we go to a strip club or summat?” Simon asked uneasily, forehead furrowing.
“Well… do you want to?” Nick asked, face mimicking Simon’s.
“Well, I mean… not really…” the other man replied, pursing his lips.
“I guess…” Nick paused as he mulled it over. “I guess we could get a stripper to come here…”
Staring at the ceiling, Simon shrugged. “I guess…” he trailed off, letting his unenthusiastic response hang in the air.
“Oh, fuck it,” Nick suddenly laughed. “Who the hell cares if we’re doing probably the single most gay thing possible as a stag party?”
Simon joined him, giggling under tears formed in his eyes. “Hah, no,” he corrected, “this is not the single most gay thing we could be doing.”
“What else?” Nick asked, confusion making him blink and his forehead crinkle.
Simon rolled his head to the side and gave his friend a significant look, causing the other man’s forehead to crinkle even more. A look of comprehension finally crossed his face after a moment, followed by apprehension. A few more seconds passed before, still looking a bit confused, Nick started to guide his mouth towards Simon’s.
Placing a small kiss on the other man’s lips, Nick leaned back and raised his eyebrows. Simon lay still for a moment, eyes wide, until a helpless laugh finally ripped out of him. He curled into a ball, his whole body shaking in hysterics until Nick reluctantly joined him.
“That…” Simon said haltingly between giggles, “was not exactly what I meant, however nice it was. Thank you.”
Nick’s face flushed a bit as he laughed even louder. “I thought you were giving me The Look! Of course… you give me The Look all the time, so how am I to tell really?”
Simon finally got control of his laughter, nodding and wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. “No, no, you’ve got a point. But what I meant was, you know… the thing.”
“The thing?” Nick asked, looking confused once more.
“You know…” At Nick’s continued puzzlement he continued. “From when we lived together?”
“Oh!” Nick said, finally catching up to what was being spoken of. “You mean…” He shot Simon a shy look. “You mean tonight?”
“Maybe,” Simon responded enigmatically.
“I mean… do you want to…?”
They maintained eye contact for a moment. “Do you want to?” Simon asked slowly.
Nick shrugged before a small smile graced his face. “Yeah,” he finally said, a giggle coming out of him before he looked shy again. “I’ve missed it.”
“Really?” Simon asked, feeling genuinely touched.
“Yeah.”
“… Me too.”
They just stared at each other for a moment, both basking in the glow of friendshippy love and holding each other’s gaze for what would be longer than appropriate had they been sober. Nick broke the eye contact first, grunting as he pushed himself up.
“Right,” he muttered, dusting off the seat of his pants. “You… you still got that book?”
“Yes,” Simon replied bashfully, accepting Nick’s help as he got to his feet. “I keep it in the bedside table.”
“Are you joking?” Nick asked, barking out a laugh.
“Yeah… thought Maureen would find it weird if I had a picture of you and me instead of me and her so I just kept the book there instead.”
“Queer,” Nick chuckled, making his way to the bedroom with Simon trailing behind him. Toeing off his trainers, the larger man unabashedly stripped to his undershirt and boxers as Simon followed suit.
“You want some PJ’s?” Simon asked as Nick turned down the bed. Simon smiled to himself at how much of a couple they were.
“Nah, I’m alright,” Nick responded, hopping onto the bed and bouncing for a few moments.
Simon slipped on his flannels before sliding onto the bed as well. He opened the bedside table door, reaching in to fish out the giant Christmas book he had stored away inside. Maureen had given him an odd look the day she had found it, but she said nothing. Reason #983742908357 of why he loved her: she just accepted his oddness. It takes a lot to find a woman like that.
Settling back on the bed, Simon propped the book up. Glancing over at Nick, he grinned. “Get over here,” he chuckled, pulling at his friend’s arm. Grinning back, Nick scooted over, snuggling against Simon’s side under his arm. “Ready?” Simon asked, opening it after the other man nodded.
As they read silently together, save the interspersed question of, “You done?” and the reply of, “Yeah,” Simon mused on how they really should just be on the cover of Out already. Funnily enough, he didn’t mind. He and Nick had established long ago that they weren’t actually attracted to each other, minus being desperately in love with one another’s personalities. It had been almost a sad day when they figured out the attraction ended there.
Simon had been depressed; something to do with breaking up with some girlfriend and Nick had just gotten fired from his second job. Simon had said something about how Nick was the only person he could depend on… how he wished that he and Nick could just get married because life would be so much simpler.
Nick had then surprised him by kissing him. It wasn’t like it had been this past evening… it had been with purpose and both had put their best effort forward. But, in the end, you can’t help it if you don’t feel that something. And… neither had. Simon smiled slightly as he remembered the conversation…
“So…” Nick had said once he pulled away, Simon’s forehead crinkled as he contemplated what had just happened. “Still not gay?”
Simon had sighed sadly, puffing out his cheeks and frowning. “Yeah,” he had conceded, feeling thoroughly let down. “You?”
Nick had given him an apologetic smile and nodded. “Yeah. Damn.”
“I know.”
Suddenly Nick’s voice in the present shook him from his reverie. The book was done and they were both staring at the far wall. “So…” he was saying, an odd look on his face. “You’re really getting married tomorrow?”
“’fraid so,” Simon replied, smiling at him lightly. “That alright?”
“Yeah,” Nick answered apprehensively, sending him a side-long glance. “But I have to warn you…”
“Yeah?” Simon asked, amusement making the corners of his mouth twitch.
“If she hurts you, I’ll have to fucking kill her.”
Laughing loudly, Simon nodded before settling more fully onto his pillow. Nick mimicked his actions. “Good to know,” Simon chuckled, pulling the covers up. “I’ll be sure to pass that sentiment on.”
Nick giggled and slipped his glasses off. He wriggled down into the bed before looking over at Simon shyly. “Mind if I…?”
“Come on,” the other man giggled, yanking him over to his side again and switching off the light. “Lord knows you can’t sleep unless you’re spooning someone.”
“Hey,” Nick responded defensively, “I like to have someone to hold. Is that asking too much?”
“Of course not,” Simon smiled, grinning to himself as Nick draped an arm over his chest. There was a lull as both men’s breathing evened and became deeper. “Nick?” Simon suddenly asked sleepily.
“Mm hmm?” was the mumbled reply.
“Love you.”
Simon felt rather than saw Nick smile against his neck.
“Gaaaay,” was all he said.
Simon smiled and drifted off to sleep, feeling like he was indeed getting the best of both worlds.
FIN.
Author: Your’s truly
Fandom: Fregg! Hooray
Pairing: Simon Pegg/Nick Frost, Simon/Maureen (Simon’s wife, fyi)
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Drug use, het stuff, discussions about a mother’s vagina, and fluff is pretty much overflowing.
A/N: Hellz yes for my first Fregg fic! Anyway, I love this fandom. Ya’ll over at fregg_love are awesome and hopefully this is good. I wrote it in about 2 hours while being distracted by TV/youtube/livejournal/my parents, all while incredibly hung over. Hopefully the grammar mistakes aren’t rampant… if you notice any, let me know!
Length: 2802
Feedback: I loves it.
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction and any similarity between fictional characters and real people are purely coincidental.
Summary: Sometimes new worlds and old worlds can coincide just fine.
STAG NIGHT
Simon sat, knee jiggling slightly, hand twisting the remote that lay in his twitching fingers, alternatively switching the mute button on and off.
“-don’t know where-"
Silence.
“-Still at lar-"
Silence.
“-vidence sugges-"
There was a knock on the door, in the “Shave and a haircut” fashion, causing Simon’s face to spread into a grin as he sang lightly to himself: “Two bits…”
Nearly hopping to his feet he made his way to the door, he paused for a moment to peer hastily at his reflection in the mirror at the end of the hall. He chuckled to himself chidingly, shaking his head and feeling silly for being nervous.
“Oy,” came a muffled call through his door. “Cuuuunt.”
Smile growing steadily into a grin, Simon stood behind the door but did not open it. “Who’s that then?” he asked, crossing his arms and biting his tongue as he tried not to laugh.
“Your mum,” was the reply. “Nick got to be too much for me, and I was wondering if you’d have a look at my naff to see if he got it infected from fucking me so much.”
A laugh burst from his chest and he threw open the door, regarding his friend with a mollifying stare. “I’ll have you know my mum is a good and decent woman,” he reprimanded, a serious look on his face, “and would never stoop so low as to get an infection from too much fucking. She has more restraint than that, Nicholas.”
“Oh, my mistake,” Nick sighed throwing up his arms. There was a pause as the two regarded each other. “Am I allowed in, or…?”
Giggling, Simon dropped the serious act and pulled his friend into a hug. “Hey wanker.”
“Hey yourself,” Nick chuckled, hugging back warmly. “Sooo, am I right in assuming you’ve got booze?”
Simon raised an eyebrow. “Am I right in assuming that you’ve got weed?”
They stared at each other again before Simon reached behind the door and Nick reached into his pocket, both producing said items at the same time.
“Eyyy,” they said in unison, giving each other a high five and heading into the kitchen. Nick proceeded to hop up onto the counter, looking worried for a second as the wood creaked. When nothing further happened, he sighed happily and took the beer Simon offered him.
“So,” he began, popping open the bottle using the countertop’s edge. “How you holding up, champ?”
“Good. Excited. Nervous. A bit queasy. And horny.”
“Hence me being here.”
“Hence you being here, yes.” The two smiled at each other before Simon could no longer stand being still and began pacing the length of the kitchen.
“You talk to Maureen today?”
“Yeah,” he replied, drinking from his beer hastily.
“How’d she sound?”
Simon shrugged, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “Alright, I guess. ‘bout the same as me.”
“So like a giddy git, then?” Nick asked, smiling slightly.
“Uh, yes, about right,” Simon giggled, rubbing his eyes.
“God!” Nick suddenly shouted, bursting into laughter. “Stop pacing, man! Get a fucking hold of yourself.”
Simon joined his laughter and halted, still bouncing slightly. “Sorry, sorry. Just… I feel wired, you know? Like… really wired.”
“Wired, you say?”
“Wi-red.”
Nick sighed and slid ungracefully off the counter, grabbing Simon’s hand to steady himself as he almost tumbled to the floor. Standing straight, he produced the marijuana again. “You need to relax,” he stated reasonably, making his way to the living room.
“Yeah, I’m just… I think I’m going to get chatty…”
“I like it when you’re chatty.”
“You like me all the time,” Simon chuckled, sitting next to Nick on the floor as the other man set things up on the coffee table. It was almost an unwritten rule with them that you must sit on the floor whilst smoking. People who toked in chairs were obviously pricks. Why this was a rule, neither knew, but that was the nice thing about their relationship… they didn’t need to discuss such things.
“True,” Nick responded easily, getting the blunt ready. “But you like me too.”
Simon smiled gently and murmured a soft, “Yeah.”
As he continued to bounce his knee, Nick sent him a sidelong glance. “You sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah,” Simon responded, sounding overly nonchalant. “Well,” he amended after a second of having Nick’s eyebrow raised at him, “I’m just… it’s a big deal, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Nick agreed, continuing his task. He was fantastically good at rolling… would probably put most Cuban cigar-makers to shame, really. Simon took another pull from his beer.
“And, I mean, it’s like there’s this whole new chapter in my life opening up and this old one closing and… I’m not sure whether to feel sad or deliriously happy or to just shut off my brain and go with it, you know?”
The corners of Nick’s mouth twitched into a smile. “I’d say the latter of the three would be best for you. Of course… Knowing you, that’s the least likely to happen.”
Simon sighed and flopped onto his back, draping an arm halfway over his eyes. “I just want everything to work out alright. Like… best of both worlds. Old life goodness and new life goodness.”
Nick nodded slightly before grinning as he produced a beautiful spliff. “Tada,” he exclaimed quietly, causing Simon to smile and sit up. Getting out a lighter, Nick held up the joint. “Here’s to new chapters and old chapters and all that rubbish. Cheers.” He passed it to Simon, winking at the other man.
“Cheers,” Simon giggled, taking it and holding it to his lips. Once it was lit, he took a long drag, eyes slipping closed as he felt the smoke fill his lungs. “Oh, lordy,” he exhaled, breathing out the hazy air and handing the joint over to Nick. “That’s some good shit,” he suddenly coughed, tears pricking in his eyes.
“Only the best,” Nick winked again, “from the Best Man.” Sucking in the smoke, Nick grinned and closed his eyes before exhaling. “Ah,” he murmured, passing it back to Simon. “That really is nice.” He paused for a moment and watched his friend take another drag before shaking himself and looking around. “Music,” he stated. “We need some music. Do you want music?”
“Yeah, music’s good,” Simon responded, smiling easily and blinking with slightly heavier lids.
“Okay, what music?”
Shrugging, Simon waved to his stereo. “Dunno. Whatever you want, mate, works, you know.”
Taking one more puff, Nick hauled himself to his knees and crawled over to look at the CD collection. “Crap,” he muttered softly as he pawed through them, causing Simon to giggle. “Crap, crap, craaaap… total crap. Utter crap. Is this Celine Dion?”
“Maybe,” Simon responded cryptically.
“Wow, fan of Titanic much?”
“I’m gay for Leo,” Simon admitted, lying on his back again.
“I thought you were gay for me,” Nick pouted, going back to his search.
“I’m more gay for you,” Simon amended, making his friend glance back at him and grin. “But come on. Jack is amazing.”
“I bet you cry every time he dies,” Nick giggled, tossing yet another CD aside.
“Every fucking time,” Simon sighed sadly, shaking his head and putting the joint to his lips again. “I’m always like, ‘Fuck you, Kate Winslet! I would have let him on the giant door!’” He shook his head sadly. “Yet, she never listens. Stupid hypothermic bitch.”
“Too right,” Nick laughed, making a delighted noise as he finally found something to his fancy. “Electric Warrior! Yeah boiyeee.”
Simon giggled, fingers rubbing his eyes yet again as he took another toke. “God, I love Bolan’s voice. Isn’t this one of the first albums we ever listened to together whilst high?”
Nick nodded as he scooted to lie down next to Simon. He took the joint from the other man, knocking his head slightly against Simon’s in affection. “Yeah. I think you cried.”
“Well…” Simon huffed, frowning. “He’s dead! It’s sad!”
“Are… are you going to cry now?” Nick asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.
“No!” his friend responded indignantly, though he flagged after a moment. “Well… not yet anyway.”
“Good thing I’m used to you getting all blubbery,” Nick chuckled, passing the joint back.
They sat in silence for a moment, both just breathing in the smoky air and each other’s company. Simon fought the desperate feelings surging through him again, telling himself not to worry. Things weren’t going to change. They couldn’t. They wouldn’t.
… would they?
“Hey,” Nick suddenly said quietly, shaking Simon from his inner thought-war. “You know what you said earlier, about, uh… both worlds and shit?”
“Yeah?” Simon answered quietly, curious as to where this was going.
“This doesn’t have to change, you know,” his friend murmured, examining the joint between his fingers. “We’re still going to be best mates, married or not. I just… I’ll feel the same as ever, yeah?”
Simon smiled slightly, watching Nick’s downcast eyes. “Meaning I can have both my wife and heterosexual life partner?”
“Yeah,” Nick said, nonchalantly shrugging. “If you want.”
“I can’t think of anything better,” Simon responded, making Nick’s face grow into a grin.
“Gaaaay,” was all he said before handing the joint back and coughing into his fist. “God, we’re so queer. Who spends a bloke’s pre-wedding night with just another bloke?”
“What, should we… should we go to a strip club or summat?” Simon asked uneasily, forehead furrowing.
“Well… do you want to?” Nick asked, face mimicking Simon’s.
“Well, I mean… not really…” the other man replied, pursing his lips.
“I guess…” Nick paused as he mulled it over. “I guess we could get a stripper to come here…”
Staring at the ceiling, Simon shrugged. “I guess…” he trailed off, letting his unenthusiastic response hang in the air.
“Oh, fuck it,” Nick suddenly laughed. “Who the hell cares if we’re doing probably the single most gay thing possible as a stag party?”
Simon joined him, giggling under tears formed in his eyes. “Hah, no,” he corrected, “this is not the single most gay thing we could be doing.”
“What else?” Nick asked, confusion making him blink and his forehead crinkle.
Simon rolled his head to the side and gave his friend a significant look, causing the other man’s forehead to crinkle even more. A look of comprehension finally crossed his face after a moment, followed by apprehension. A few more seconds passed before, still looking a bit confused, Nick started to guide his mouth towards Simon’s.
Placing a small kiss on the other man’s lips, Nick leaned back and raised his eyebrows. Simon lay still for a moment, eyes wide, until a helpless laugh finally ripped out of him. He curled into a ball, his whole body shaking in hysterics until Nick reluctantly joined him.
“That…” Simon said haltingly between giggles, “was not exactly what I meant, however nice it was. Thank you.”
Nick’s face flushed a bit as he laughed even louder. “I thought you were giving me The Look! Of course… you give me The Look all the time, so how am I to tell really?”
Simon finally got control of his laughter, nodding and wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. “No, no, you’ve got a point. But what I meant was, you know… the thing.”
“The thing?” Nick asked, looking confused once more.
“You know…” At Nick’s continued puzzlement he continued. “From when we lived together?”
“Oh!” Nick said, finally catching up to what was being spoken of. “You mean…” He shot Simon a shy look. “You mean tonight?”
“Maybe,” Simon responded enigmatically.
“I mean… do you want to…?”
They maintained eye contact for a moment. “Do you want to?” Simon asked slowly.
Nick shrugged before a small smile graced his face. “Yeah,” he finally said, a giggle coming out of him before he looked shy again. “I’ve missed it.”
“Really?” Simon asked, feeling genuinely touched.
“Yeah.”
“… Me too.”
They just stared at each other for a moment, both basking in the glow of friendshippy love and holding each other’s gaze for what would be longer than appropriate had they been sober. Nick broke the eye contact first, grunting as he pushed himself up.
“Right,” he muttered, dusting off the seat of his pants. “You… you still got that book?”
“Yes,” Simon replied bashfully, accepting Nick’s help as he got to his feet. “I keep it in the bedside table.”
“Are you joking?” Nick asked, barking out a laugh.
“Yeah… thought Maureen would find it weird if I had a picture of you and me instead of me and her so I just kept the book there instead.”
“Queer,” Nick chuckled, making his way to the bedroom with Simon trailing behind him. Toeing off his trainers, the larger man unabashedly stripped to his undershirt and boxers as Simon followed suit.
“You want some PJ’s?” Simon asked as Nick turned down the bed. Simon smiled to himself at how much of a couple they were.
“Nah, I’m alright,” Nick responded, hopping onto the bed and bouncing for a few moments.
Simon slipped on his flannels before sliding onto the bed as well. He opened the bedside table door, reaching in to fish out the giant Christmas book he had stored away inside. Maureen had given him an odd look the day she had found it, but she said nothing. Reason #983742908357 of why he loved her: she just accepted his oddness. It takes a lot to find a woman like that.
Settling back on the bed, Simon propped the book up. Glancing over at Nick, he grinned. “Get over here,” he chuckled, pulling at his friend’s arm. Grinning back, Nick scooted over, snuggling against Simon’s side under his arm. “Ready?” Simon asked, opening it after the other man nodded.
As they read silently together, save the interspersed question of, “You done?” and the reply of, “Yeah,” Simon mused on how they really should just be on the cover of Out already. Funnily enough, he didn’t mind. He and Nick had established long ago that they weren’t actually attracted to each other, minus being desperately in love with one another’s personalities. It had been almost a sad day when they figured out the attraction ended there.
Simon had been depressed; something to do with breaking up with some girlfriend and Nick had just gotten fired from his second job. Simon had said something about how Nick was the only person he could depend on… how he wished that he and Nick could just get married because life would be so much simpler.
Nick had then surprised him by kissing him. It wasn’t like it had been this past evening… it had been with purpose and both had put their best effort forward. But, in the end, you can’t help it if you don’t feel that something. And… neither had. Simon smiled slightly as he remembered the conversation…
“So…” Nick had said once he pulled away, Simon’s forehead crinkled as he contemplated what had just happened. “Still not gay?”
Simon had sighed sadly, puffing out his cheeks and frowning. “Yeah,” he had conceded, feeling thoroughly let down. “You?”
Nick had given him an apologetic smile and nodded. “Yeah. Damn.”
“I know.”
Suddenly Nick’s voice in the present shook him from his reverie. The book was done and they were both staring at the far wall. “So…” he was saying, an odd look on his face. “You’re really getting married tomorrow?”
“’fraid so,” Simon replied, smiling at him lightly. “That alright?”
“Yeah,” Nick answered apprehensively, sending him a side-long glance. “But I have to warn you…”
“Yeah?” Simon asked, amusement making the corners of his mouth twitch.
“If she hurts you, I’ll have to fucking kill her.”
Laughing loudly, Simon nodded before settling more fully onto his pillow. Nick mimicked his actions. “Good to know,” Simon chuckled, pulling the covers up. “I’ll be sure to pass that sentiment on.”
Nick giggled and slipped his glasses off. He wriggled down into the bed before looking over at Simon shyly. “Mind if I…?”
“Come on,” the other man giggled, yanking him over to his side again and switching off the light. “Lord knows you can’t sleep unless you’re spooning someone.”
“Hey,” Nick responded defensively, “I like to have someone to hold. Is that asking too much?”
“Of course not,” Simon smiled, grinning to himself as Nick draped an arm over his chest. There was a lull as both men’s breathing evened and became deeper. “Nick?” Simon suddenly asked sleepily.
“Mm hmm?” was the mumbled reply.
“Love you.”
Simon felt rather than saw Nick smile against his neck.
“Gaaaay,” was all he said.
Simon smiled and drifted off to sleep, feeling like he was indeed getting the best of both worlds.
FIN.