Fading
I was looking at pictures tonight, and thought about all the friends I have found (and lost) since I began college. I look at myself today, and it astounds me...how much I have changed, how I have grown; how I have learned things about myself and done things that I never thought I would do. My life is a maelstrom. I can't say I am happy today, more so than yesterday, or a month or a year ago. I can say I have grown...I have learned, lost, loved, experienced...
I miss a lot. I miss my freshman and sophomore year. I miss the people who left. But then, I am happy to have found the people I have come across, either by fate or chance.
Everything around me is constantly changing, and I feel as though I can't keep up.
Sometimes it scares me. Sometimes I'm absolutely terrified. But other times, it is soothing. Maybe even beautiful. That tomorrow is never guaranteed. You are constantly losing people, finding people in your life. Some people come in your life for a reason, and slowly fade away...not because your relationship to them meant nothing, but because you both fulfilled what was meant to happen, and no longer need each other; you move on, find new people. You keep them in your heart forever, and if you are lucky, someday know why they were in your life for the time that they were.
Some people stay in your life for years. I have few people that have been in my life for years, but those I have, I love and cherish; they are special, and I believe they are still in my life because for some reason, we both need each other, in some way or another. We still are connected in a very different way than those who have come and gone.
My mind is wandering. Far, far away...
I am in a complete state of nostalgia.
There are so many memories. Some are written down, some are so ingrained in me I cannot seem to free myself of the times in my life when I was the happiest; it seems, over the years, the times I am happiest, are the most unexpected times.
Rolling down a hill at the Shins, discovering JP2, laughing in the woods and being a poppy seed muffin, skinny dipping in a muddy lake at 4 in the morning and kissing the boy who left, lying next to an old friend on top of a building watching fireworks and singing Beatles songs, jumping off a boat in the middle of a lake in the middle of the night, sitting alone on a bench waiting for a bus as the sun goes down behind the city, sleeping under the stars waiting for meteors, lot running away from your parents with your best friend and ending up in a parking lot holding each other, running in the pouring rain from the metro, waking up to greet the sun and palm trees outside your window, reuniting with a childhood friend as though nothing has changed after years, a standing ovation, a bookcase falling into the audience.
Truths:
Prom is entirely overrated.
I never knew playing a computer game when I was 10 years old would change my life forever...but it did.
I met a girl who in high school forced me to audition for a show; she showed me my purpose in life.
A book taught me that even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
A girl I will never meet taught me that despite everything, people are good at heart.
Mostly, in life, the small things are the things that make the biggest difference.
On my way to the movies tonight, I was thinking...and I saw a sign. It said: "Dream Big." For a moment, I thought the sign was a figment of my imagination. But I looked again, and it was still there.
I miss a lot. I miss my freshman and sophomore year. I miss the people who left. But then, I am happy to have found the people I have come across, either by fate or chance.
Everything around me is constantly changing, and I feel as though I can't keep up.
Sometimes it scares me. Sometimes I'm absolutely terrified. But other times, it is soothing. Maybe even beautiful. That tomorrow is never guaranteed. You are constantly losing people, finding people in your life. Some people come in your life for a reason, and slowly fade away...not because your relationship to them meant nothing, but because you both fulfilled what was meant to happen, and no longer need each other; you move on, find new people. You keep them in your heart forever, and if you are lucky, someday know why they were in your life for the time that they were.
Some people stay in your life for years. I have few people that have been in my life for years, but those I have, I love and cherish; they are special, and I believe they are still in my life because for some reason, we both need each other, in some way or another. We still are connected in a very different way than those who have come and gone.
My mind is wandering. Far, far away...
I am in a complete state of nostalgia.
There are so many memories. Some are written down, some are so ingrained in me I cannot seem to free myself of the times in my life when I was the happiest; it seems, over the years, the times I am happiest, are the most unexpected times.
Rolling down a hill at the Shins, discovering JP2, laughing in the woods and being a poppy seed muffin, skinny dipping in a muddy lake at 4 in the morning and kissing the boy who left, lying next to an old friend on top of a building watching fireworks and singing Beatles songs, jumping off a boat in the middle of a lake in the middle of the night, sitting alone on a bench waiting for a bus as the sun goes down behind the city, sleeping under the stars waiting for meteors, lot running away from your parents with your best friend and ending up in a parking lot holding each other, running in the pouring rain from the metro, waking up to greet the sun and palm trees outside your window, reuniting with a childhood friend as though nothing has changed after years, a standing ovation, a bookcase falling into the audience.
Truths:
Prom is entirely overrated.
I never knew playing a computer game when I was 10 years old would change my life forever...but it did.
I met a girl who in high school forced me to audition for a show; she showed me my purpose in life.
A book taught me that even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
A girl I will never meet taught me that despite everything, people are good at heart.
Mostly, in life, the small things are the things that make the biggest difference.
On my way to the movies tonight, I was thinking...and I saw a sign. It said: "Dream Big." For a moment, I thought the sign was a figment of my imagination. But I looked again, and it was still there.