what if?

[smellypurse]

What if I don't go?
what if I move to San Diego?
Is that running away?
What if I find an internship with a midwife?
What if I go to the birth attendant school and learn how to help women have babies?
What if I spend another year paying bills?
What if my life is unextraordinary?
What if the only thing I've been doing for the past year is wasting time?
Did I build relationships?
Was it worth it?

What if I can't hear your voice?
What if I can't settle down?
What if I let everyone down?
What if I let myself down?
What if I let God down?
Is that possible?

What is my place?
Where do I go from here?
I want to glorify God.
Has my life been doing that?
Am I capable of doing that?

What if i push away all the good things and keep the bad?
What if I self destruct just to feel?
what if I'm scared?

"this is the way, walk in it". when will you say this to me?