"Now the bitch thinks she's in my leage and now I have to put her in her place"
Well this weekend sucked other then b-mountain. Seams like people are just happy to screw me over and they don't care what it does. Like it feels like people just talk cuz thats how they feel at the moment and then when it all comes down to it dont really want what they said they wanted. I don't want to be anyones bitch or someone they play with when they get bored. That's messed up. I'd never do that to anyone so I expect others not to do that to me. Unfortunatly that's not how the world thinks. Not everyone thinks like me, actually, no one else does. I used to think Allen did kinda cuz everything between us was perfect. Nothings the same and never will be. I'm still in love with what we had and I hate whats going on now. I can't take fighting all the time and feeling angry. I'm going to do what everyone else says I should do and move on. There are other guys in this world that I can make happy and them make me happy. Allen's just not one of them I guess. Looks like I'm rollin single to Homecoming. It kinda sucks. I was looking forward to being able to spend some quality time with Allen before we broke up. I just want a guy that does cute things for me to show that he cares. I'm tired of going after guys, putting all my effort into them and then being shot down. I don't need that. A lot of people were saying that Allen and I would work things out and be back together before homecoming. I guess they're wrong. I don't think him and I will ever be able to get back together. I think we'd be lucky if we were good friends again. After all this mess I don't think I could feel the same way or act the same way around him and be so careless and trustworthy with my feelings. I don't want to get hurt again by anyone. I've been hurt way too many times and this one was by far the worst. I think, as hard as it is for me, that I'm going to stay away from boys for a while. I don't need another relationship for a long time. What I need is time to recover. Well, this is how I feel at the moment. ahahahaha. It's just weird how things change so quickly. One min everythings fine then the next everything has fallen apart in a blink of an eye. Now it's that hard part. Trying to clean up the mess and deep down inside and try to find forgiveness.