was therapied today
i went to see the talk therapist today. We (er i) had a bit to talk about ...
- My multimedia presentation to nng and her reaction. She really liked the songlist and talk about it while playing thing, saying that was "oh, how sweet!"
- How i discovered the possiblity of simultaneous, conflicting emotions, which i have never before been able to process simultaneously. Instead, my mind would load one feeling then change it out for another one. Sadly... my talk lady said that many ADDers consider this an enlightened and spiritual state and won't actually get there. Why was it saddening though? It's not fair how so many people will never get to have that feeling i had ... the first time i was at the same instant crying sad and smiling happy over the same thought/person/feeling. It's not fair i get it (almost so easily) and they don't ever.
- How i realized i lump lots of emotions and feelings into one catch-all, example of nng where there are 3 huge aspects about her: friendship - exposing me to intellectual things (words, Shakespeare); healing - helping me in my Renaissance, helping me learn where i'm going wrong about thinking of things; and of course, the bdsm/sexual part of our relationship. i told my talk lady about how the first two parts of our relationship were so overwhelming that i basically bundled everything up into "love".
- i went on about how i know and believe it's right that nng goes away as planned (since that's what she wants, duh!). So i believe i'll be ok with her departure. Yes, there'll be tears, sadness, and whining to my LJ! :) But my talk lady really liked how i was looking at all this.
- We talked about logistics of living with ADD... lists, Google calendar and how it sends me txt messages as reminders. i actually had forgotten today was a talk day until 25 minutes before i had to be there!!! But she's 10 minutes away, so no worries there.
- We talked about how i need to learn more about myself in order to start working on an improvement plan.
- We talked about how NNG is my coach right now and how i thank NNG so much for this. My talk lady got a big smile and said "good for you, that's great." That helps me think i'm on the right track. We talked about how NNG told me last night that i'm on the path to understanding others, which set me back a bit. i need to interview nng about this to try and identify areas of improvement.
OK, gotta run ... need to fix the exterior lights at work...
- My multimedia presentation to nng and her reaction. She really liked the songlist and talk about it while playing thing, saying that was "oh, how sweet!"
- How i discovered the possiblity of simultaneous, conflicting emotions, which i have never before been able to process simultaneously. Instead, my mind would load one feeling then change it out for another one. Sadly... my talk lady said that many ADDers consider this an enlightened and spiritual state and won't actually get there. Why was it saddening though? It's not fair how so many people will never get to have that feeling i had ... the first time i was at the same instant crying sad and smiling happy over the same thought/person/feeling. It's not fair i get it (almost so easily) and they don't ever.
- How i realized i lump lots of emotions and feelings into one catch-all, example of nng where there are 3 huge aspects about her: friendship - exposing me to intellectual things (words, Shakespeare); healing - helping me in my Renaissance, helping me learn where i'm going wrong about thinking of things; and of course, the bdsm/sexual part of our relationship. i told my talk lady about how the first two parts of our relationship were so overwhelming that i basically bundled everything up into "love".
- i went on about how i know and believe it's right that nng goes away as planned (since that's what she wants, duh!). So i believe i'll be ok with her departure. Yes, there'll be tears, sadness, and whining to my LJ! :) But my talk lady really liked how i was looking at all this.
- We talked about logistics of living with ADD... lists, Google calendar and how it sends me txt messages as reminders. i actually had forgotten today was a talk day until 25 minutes before i had to be there!!! But she's 10 minutes away, so no worries there.
- We talked about how i need to learn more about myself in order to start working on an improvement plan.
- We talked about how NNG is my coach right now and how i thank NNG so much for this. My talk lady got a big smile and said "good for you, that's great." That helps me think i'm on the right track. We talked about how NNG told me last night that i'm on the path to understanding others, which set me back a bit. i need to interview nng about this to try and identify areas of improvement.
OK, gotta run ... need to fix the exterior lights at work...