(no subject)
Thyra and I had a Harry Potter movie marathon. As in first five on DVD and we're getting ready to go see six. But here is some of the stuff that came out of the movies. It pretty much goes in order from first through fifth. If you can't follow the logic, don't worry. It means you're sane.
If JK Rowling were a wizard, she'd be a Death Eater. She's a freaking purist.
"His last look was at Hermione!" Snape/Hermione...it happened.
McGonagall and Dumbledore are BFF. They go shopping on weekends. He was the one that told her she looked best in emerald green. Hence why the head of Gryffindor is always wearing green instead of red.
When snakes talk to themselves, they like to pick one word to obsess over. Basilisks are partial to KILL! (Thyra adds that they sound like Arkham Asylum inmates)
Rob Pattinson opened a portal between HP and Twilight. Emmett once took over the Diary of Tom Riddle.They had to reshoot the scene. His first line was "Yo bitches!"
Crabbe and Goyle eat floating cupcakes. Thyra said it's because their conversations consist of "Where are the Cheetos?" "Where's the Mountain Dew?"
Thyra on the theme of the third movie: "I think I've seen a porno like this once."
Remus/Sirius doing it doggie style since the 1970s.
Thyra: "Hermione...fandom subway. Everyone rides together!"
Professor Flitwick is Merlin's Mini Me. He too ages backwards.
Sirius pretty much absorbed James and Remus as his friends. He kinda met James like Harry met Ron, just taking over his compartment on the train. Sirius: "Hey can I sit in here? I'm avoiding my brother. And my cousin. And my other cousin. And my brother's friends. Hi I'm Sirius Black." James: "I'm...James Potter."
Sirius: "Hi James Potter. We're friends now. Do you want a chocolate frog? I've got like ten." James: "How many have you had so far?" Sirius: "I don't know, like six...maybe seven...or more than that. Like twelve."
As for Remus, Sirius pointed him out and said "I wanna be friends with him. James, let's be friends with him." James: "What? No...He looks like a nerd" Sirius: "I want to be friends with him. We're going to be friends with him." James: "No." Sirius: "No, really, he'll do our homework for us. We're friends with him." James: "Fine."
Full moon nights sometimes degraded into a game of AFRICAN SAFARI! James: "I am not a fucking gazelle. I'm a stag. I'm fucking noble." Sirius looks at Remus. "Hunting time?" Remus: "Hunting time." James: "DAMN YOU!"
Remus looked at Sirius. James left the room.
The third movie...where everyone realized "DAMN Hermione is HOT!" or as Thyra says "Whoa Hermione's a girl. And she's hot too."
Snape/Hermione...any opportunity to cop a feel.
The dark side is prettier. End of story. I mean HELLO they have David Tennant....who we completely forgot about until we were watching the movie. Sorry David. We love you.
Cedric was the only who could beat Harry Potter. Yes I went there.
No character is safe from Thyra's rape van.
Me: "He was a pretty man. Wearing a leather jacket."
Thyra: "Him and blonde girl hopped in a blue box and buggered off."
Hermione lost her virginity to Krum after the Yule Ball. End. Of. Story.
Dumbledore in three: *grooves*
in four: *intenses* (this Dumbledore will beat you with a stick)
in five: *absent*
in six: *finally gets it right and...dies*
Hufflepuff is more likely to have the gay boys.
Fleur/Krum/Cedric: OT3
Pretty boys really do fall out of trees in the fourth movie. First Cedric, then Draco.
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: Thyra: "Can you imagine if we freed up the brain space where we had Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone committed to memory? That's like 2 gigs right there." *pause* "Did I just say that?"
How do you know it's flashback Dumbledore? The younger he is, the shorter the beard.
Dumbledore's drug usage:
Third: Weed
Fourth: Cocaine
Fifth: REHAB
Sixth: a little bit of Valium, but otherwise drug free! *thumbs up*
Seventh: Unavailable for comment. i.e. deadsies
Thyra's logic at 5 am: Voldemort lost his nose. That's one of his horcruxes. Holy shit. Michael Jackson made horcruxes. BLANKET IS A HORCRUX!
Personalized masks. Because even Death Eaters believe in individuality.
Remus and Sirius need to stop having sex. By the fifth movie, they're sharing a brain and it's kind of scary.
Thyra doesn't deal well with animal life moving on ceramics.
Me: *as Snape* Potter did I see you having gay sex? I saw you having gay sex, didn't I?
Thyra: *as Harry* No that was just a fantasy about Cedric and I.
If JK Rowling were a wizard, she'd be a Death Eater. She's a freaking purist.
"His last look was at Hermione!" Snape/Hermione...it happened.
McGonagall and Dumbledore are BFF. They go shopping on weekends. He was the one that told her she looked best in emerald green. Hence why the head of Gryffindor is always wearing green instead of red.
When snakes talk to themselves, they like to pick one word to obsess over. Basilisks are partial to KILL! (Thyra adds that they sound like Arkham Asylum inmates)
Rob Pattinson opened a portal between HP and Twilight. Emmett once took over the Diary of Tom Riddle.They had to reshoot the scene. His first line was "Yo bitches!"
Crabbe and Goyle eat floating cupcakes. Thyra said it's because their conversations consist of "Where are the Cheetos?" "Where's the Mountain Dew?"
Thyra on the theme of the third movie: "I think I've seen a porno like this once."
Remus/Sirius doing it doggie style since the 1970s.
Thyra: "Hermione...fandom subway. Everyone rides together!"
Professor Flitwick is Merlin's Mini Me. He too ages backwards.
Sirius pretty much absorbed James and Remus as his friends. He kinda met James like Harry met Ron, just taking over his compartment on the train. Sirius: "Hey can I sit in here? I'm avoiding my brother. And my cousin. And my other cousin. And my brother's friends. Hi I'm Sirius Black." James: "I'm...James Potter."
Sirius: "Hi James Potter. We're friends now. Do you want a chocolate frog? I've got like ten." James: "How many have you had so far?" Sirius: "I don't know, like six...maybe seven...or more than that. Like twelve."
As for Remus, Sirius pointed him out and said "I wanna be friends with him. James, let's be friends with him." James: "What? No...He looks like a nerd" Sirius: "I want to be friends with him. We're going to be friends with him." James: "No." Sirius: "No, really, he'll do our homework for us. We're friends with him." James: "Fine."
Full moon nights sometimes degraded into a game of AFRICAN SAFARI! James: "I am not a fucking gazelle. I'm a stag. I'm fucking noble." Sirius looks at Remus. "Hunting time?" Remus: "Hunting time." James: "DAMN YOU!"
Remus looked at Sirius. James left the room.
The third movie...where everyone realized "DAMN Hermione is HOT!" or as Thyra says "Whoa Hermione's a girl. And she's hot too."
Snape/Hermione...any opportunity to cop a feel.
The dark side is prettier. End of story. I mean HELLO they have David Tennant....who we completely forgot about until we were watching the movie. Sorry David. We love you.
Cedric was the only who could beat Harry Potter. Yes I went there.
No character is safe from Thyra's rape van.
Me: "He was a pretty man. Wearing a leather jacket."
Thyra: "Him and blonde girl hopped in a blue box and buggered off."
Hermione lost her virginity to Krum after the Yule Ball. End. Of. Story.
Dumbledore in three: *grooves*
in four: *intenses* (this Dumbledore will beat you with a stick)
in five: *absent*
in six: *finally gets it right and...dies*
Hufflepuff is more likely to have the gay boys.
Fleur/Krum/Cedric: OT3
Pretty boys really do fall out of trees in the fourth movie. First Cedric, then Draco.
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: Thyra: "Can you imagine if we freed up the brain space where we had Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone committed to memory? That's like 2 gigs right there." *pause* "Did I just say that?"
How do you know it's flashback Dumbledore? The younger he is, the shorter the beard.
Dumbledore's drug usage:
Third: Weed
Fourth: Cocaine
Fifth: REHAB
Sixth: a little bit of Valium, but otherwise drug free! *thumbs up*
Seventh: Unavailable for comment. i.e. deadsies
Thyra's logic at 5 am: Voldemort lost his nose. That's one of his horcruxes. Holy shit. Michael Jackson made horcruxes. BLANKET IS A HORCRUX!
Personalized masks. Because even Death Eaters believe in individuality.
Remus and Sirius need to stop having sex. By the fifth movie, they're sharing a brain and it's kind of scary.
Thyra doesn't deal well with animal life moving on ceramics.
Me: *as Snape* Potter did I see you having gay sex? I saw you having gay sex, didn't I?
Thyra: *as Harry* No that was just a fantasy about Cedric and I.