we always want to change the things that love to stay the same

[smallwhitebike]

so today was actually very good until i came home. i want to first emphasis how much i actually hate just coming home to the critcisms and nagging of my mother, and the passive attitude of my father. i hate having work and i hate wanting to do other things and i just hate being here. not only that, but after a good afternoon with mohawk boy in the freezing cold rain and half mile from the parking lot watching the varsity game, i came home in a better mood than i have been recently, and i find out the whole team is basically mad at me. and their mad at me for having friends, and for not telling me how important it was that i sit with them in the rain too. whatever, this is lame beyond words. no one should ever be allowed to be mad at someone if they had control over the situation themself. not only that, but there should also be a death penalty for being rude in explaining your anger. this just makes the situation worse, not to mention awkward and rude and fucked up.

so for the two or three horrible hours of my day, the rest has made up for it. not only did i get time with mohawk boy, i had the first good talk in over five months with jared. i told him how sorry i was for all that happened and i really just said how i had felt and we talked about current issues and friends and how fucked up the few hours of my day were and i think we made each other feel better. i really miss having him in my life. when he was gone there were a lot of things i felt like i needed back. and kenz, i know hes not perfect, but neither are you. just be nice. its the best thing anyone can do for themselves. do you understand how many complications would be avoided if everyone were just nicer. hot damn...this is realization.

::sarah::